Chapter Text
“Johan...”
Blue eyes flit up from the table and the danish they'd been gazing intently at, only to be met with and irritated expression.
“Nina.” Johan hummed passively through an aloof demeanor in response to the scowl he was now receiving from his sister.
“Are you going to answer the question or not?”
Oh.
That.
In all honesty, he'd really hoped he wouldn't have to.
But he knew his sister's moods well enough to know that this wasn't something she was just going to let him ignore.
...what a shame...
“What question?” He asked politely-in an annoyingly innocent tone-through the smile that he hid behind the rim of his teacup.
“Johan!” His sister raised her voice with the deepening of her glare at him, and this only managed to cause him to chuckle as he finally placed the cup down.
“Alright, fine.” Johan relented, fully and completely aware of the question his sister now all-but-demanded an answer to.
“Well?” She persisted, coaxing him to answer when it seemed as if he were planning to evade her again.
“Bastian.” Johan quietly murmured the name of his sister's boyfriend with the lowering of his eyes to the table once more.
It had been nice weather when he had woken up this morning, so-on the way to picking Nina up-he'd decided to take her to a quaint little cafe where the two of them could sit outside. Though he never ate breakfast, and detested eating in public, he'd had the feeling that Nina would like this place-and the gesture of being taken out before work.
And he'd been right, of course.
...of course he had...
A happy, carefree smile had shaped her lips almost immediately when they'd chosen the table outside of the cafe and she'd been able to sit in the morning sunlight. So very much like all of the lovely flowers she so deserved to be showered with.
“Well, what do you think of him?” She asked, her expression and gaze more intently curious than angry now as she waited for Johan to answer.
“I like him.” Johan hummed softly through a small, passive shrug as his eyes flit back up just in time to catch his sister's dubious expression. “Honestly.” He continued, meeting her stare head-on. “I even told him as much when I left your apartment yesterday.” This fell from his lips through a tone of sincerity that seemed genuine enough to convince her as she finally smiled.
“Really?” She trilled excitedly. “You do?” Nina's joy and happiness at hearing him say this seemed to make her blue eyes physically shimmer and sparkle, and Johan gave a small nod.
“I do.” He assured her as he offered another little nod and reserved smile. “Though-” His smile faltered some as a small crease began to form ever-so-slightly between his delicate brows. “you know you don't need my approval, sister.”
“Oh, I know.” Nina gave the faint bob of her head as her warm smile turned just a bit wry with the crinkle of her nose. “And I'd keep seeing him no matter what you said.”
“You're doing a little more than just 'seeing' him.” Johan countered through a deadpanned tone and almost comical lift of a single brow-and this had the desired effect of making his sister laugh.
“True.” Nina admitted through another light giggle before she sighed contently, satisfied with Johan's answer. “But it's still nice to hear you say that you like him.” She said, and Johan offered her a softer, more genuine smile.
“Of course I like him, Nina.” Johan hummed lightly through the rim of his cup as he took another delicate sip of his drink while his sister placed her attention on the breakfast she'd ordered. “He makes you happy, yes?” And he saw through his peripheral the look of love and affection that shaped the warm smile along his sister's lips as she nodded.
“He does.” She softly replied as her gaze, too, came downcast to the table. “Very happy.”
“Good.” Johan murmured in a quiet tone as he placed his cup down. “That's all I ask for.” He said.
And...
It was the truth, oddly enough-coming from him.
Even though everything about their 'rekindled' relationship was fake-a house of cards built entirely on the lies Johan told and the secrets he kept from her-Johan could see that Nina's happiness was genuine. Real. And-from the very beginning-that had been the only thing that mattered to him. Everything else was...
Unimportant.
Merely background noise and inconsequential details that he could control and manipulate in order to continue this lovely illusion.
“What about you, Johan?” This drew Johan's attention from his cup as he met his sister's inquisitive gaze. “Is there anyone special in your life that makes you happy?” When she asked him this, Johan offered her a sweet, radiant smile.
“Of course there is, dear sister.” He said as he watched Nina's expression light up. “You.” This answer was met with the playful rolling of Nina's eyes at him.
“I don't count, Johan.” She teased goodnaturedly-but Johan's expression fell just the slightest.
It took him by surprised, just how upsetting he found his sister's words. Logically Johan understood exactly what Nina had meant by what she said. Though-when she'd said that she didn't count as someone special or important to him-all Johan could hear was that she believed she didn't matter. That she wasn't wanted.
As children, he'd been forced to watch-helpless-as their mother threw Nina away. Discarded her as the unwanted one-instead of him. Of course, Nina remembered nothing of this. He'd made sure of that. But Johan remembered. And he promised himself that she'd never be treated like that again. Ever. Because-in truth-she was the only one who mattered. Who had ever mattered.
She was the most important thing to him, possibly to the determinant and downfall of them both.
“Well that's just not true.” He countered just a bit more vehemently than he had intended to-though Johan could tell from the look on his sister's face that this answer didn't satisfy her.
Not in the slightest.
Johan sighed at this. It seemed that he wouldn't be able to please his sister in every aspect. Nina so desperately wanted to see him happy with someone other than her-which was completely normal on her part. But this situation was already so dangerously precarious that it probably wouldn't survive any needless complications. Least of all a meaningless romance Johan had absolutely no interest in entertaining-not even for his sister's satisfaction.
He had managed to corrupt himself so entirely that any form of goodness repulsed him and left him physically disgusted.
Nina was the only exception.
“Seriously, Johan.” His sister's voice called to him in a gentle tone that held far less playfulness as his eyes drew up from his drink to meet her look of veiled concern for him. “There's no one..?” She asked softly through the slight cant of her head and inquisitive, piercing gaze. “No girlfriend you're trying to hide from me?” Johan lightly chuckled towards the hopeful tone of her voice as he met her gaze and gave the light twitch of his head 'no', and Nina frowned at him with a pointed look. “A boyfriend, perhaps?” She gave the raise of a single eyebrow at him as Johan now openly laughed in amusement as he offered her one of his beguiling smiles.
“Well now.” This came slowly purred from his lips. “Any other theories you've come up with about me while I've been away?” He asked playfully. “Please-” Johan chuckled at his sister's expense, rather enjoying how Nina looked down at her breakfast with the faint blush of her cheeks. “do share, little sister?”
“I didn't mean anything by it.” Nina mumbled lightly before lifting her eyes with a look of fierce determination. “I just want you to be happy, is all.” Johan stopped smiling then, and gave the cant of his head.
“And a relationship is a prerequisite in order to be happy?” He asked this question in a flat tone as he met her fierce stare with a long pause of silence before he asked another. “What makes you think I'm not?” He countered in challenge as he held her gaze with an all-consuming stare he'd learned to perfect long ago.
And this look he gave her seemed to have the desired effect of derailing his sister's confidence as she looked away from him and mumbled out in a weaker voice.
“I don't like the thought of you being alone, Johan.”
Seeing her open vulnerability, Johan was moved to do something he rarely did at all. He slowly reached across the table to tenderly grasp his sister's hand in a ghost touch that gained the young woman's attention and drew her eyes from the table.
“I'm not alone.” Johan reassured her as she looked at him. “Not anymore.” He said in a soft, gentle whisper. “We've found each other again.” This fell lightly from his lips as he smiled at her. “And, for now, that's all I need in order to be happy, Nina.” Nina looked away with a soft smile and even softer blush along her cheeks as she gave the wordless nod her head to him-though Johan could tell that a part of her still wanted this version of happiness for him.
“Well,” Nina finally mumbled in a pensive tone. “what about that friend in Munich you've been hanging out with?” She asked with a furrowed gaze as she attempted to recall the young man's name. “Karl?”
Ah.
Him.
Karl Neuman.
Though it was true that the two of them had been spending some time together recently, Karl was hardly someone Johan would call a friend.
“What about him?” Johan softly lilted in an almost bored tone, having propped his chin in his hand as he gazed down at his cup of tea.
“You've just been spending a lot of time with him, lately.” Nina offered with a shrug and little smile. “He seems nice.” She said with a lingering spark of hope for her brother's own happiness. “And he seems to like you quite a bit.” Johan softly chuckled at this with the faint twitch of the head.
Oh, Nina-Johan mentally sighed to himself. If only the poor girl new...
Karl was merely a means to an end. Nothing more. And, as unlikely as it was, if by some strange coincidence the young man were to develop feelings for him, it would only make Karl that much easier for Johan to manipulate and use as a pawn.
Getting close to Karl had never been about Karl.
“Is it true that his father's some sort of really important person?” Nina asked, seeming intent on continuing to dig around her brother's clandestine affairs.
Johan smiled softly at this. He knew that Nina's heart was in the right place, and it didn't bother him in the least that she asked questions. So much of his life was a mystery to her. But, as long as he held enough control of the conversation, there was no harm in humoring his sister with some answers.
“Yes.” Johan hummed lightly with a slight nod to Nina's question. “Karl's father holds quite a bit of power and standing in the community.”
“So you've already gone and met him?” Nina asked, seeming a bit impressed by this as Johan nodded.
“Indeed I have.” Johan admitted in a casual, passive tone with a pleasant smile to his sister. “Last month Karl and I were personally invited to look over Herr Schuwald's private collection of books that he'd set aside to donate to the Munich University Library.”
“Wow.” Nina uttered as she continued to stare at her brother, trying desperately to seem interested in this aspect of his life. “That sounds really-” She paused with the furrow of her gaze as she attempted to figure out how best to finish this statement. “cool..?” Her voice lifted with the slightest inflection, and once again Johan softly chuckled with the shake of his head.
Nina always had such a way with words.
And she'd never really been one to share his more 'academic' interests.
Even as young children-as smart as they both were, she'd always been the one more physically inclined. And she still made it a point of playfully teasing him over being an insufferable know-it-all.
“Well Karl certainly thought so.” Johan hummed lightly through another little chuckled.
Johan remembered how Karl had been far more easily impressed with his father's collection than Johan had. Though-like always-Johan found that it had been easy enough to feign interest. Karl hadn't even noticed Johan's lack of interest until Johan had actually wandered off on his own.
“Nina...” Johan's voice came featherlight as his gaze lifted from the table to meet his sister's expectant look. “There's something I have to tell you.” He said, causing the young woman's brows to knit together in a mix of concern and curiosity.
Johan paused under that look, then began again.
“But you have to promise not to be mad.” He said, and watched how his sister attempted to school her expression before speaking.
“Just tell me, Johan.” Nina encouraged softly, though Johan could still detect the faintest flicker of frustration in her voice.
She never liked it when Johan kept things from her.
“Well...” Johan sighed. “It's about that day at the library in Munich.” He said in a quiet voice as he felt his eyes drift away from his sister's face.