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Jonny would like everyone to believe he died happy, that he died laughing, that he embraced and was excited for his death. That is an utter lie Jonny d’Ville was not happy to die nor was he excited. No Jonny d’Ville was scared; he was completely terrified of dying. Yes he has died many billions of times probably, but he knew (mostly) that every single time he would come back. He wouldn't stay dead.
That's why when he realized that this time it was going to stick he was scared. Those who saw him die wouldn’t say that he was viciously excited to die. They would instead say they saw a scared kid, someone who had his whole life ahead because in reality that's what he was. Sure he may have lived for many millennia, but that didn’t change anything. Jonny d’Ville was a kid, an awful messed up kid, but nonetheless he was a kid. A kid who was terrified to die.
He says he laughed for the first time in a millennia. That again is a lie Jonny did not laugh nor did he smile he screamed and cried. He knew that someday he would die all of The Mechs did, but he didn’t think it would be so soon. Brian not just three centuries ago had told them their fates stupid prohphecy bullshit, but Jonny being the kid he his decided to test the truth he went to every single backwater planet he could find that had something that could pass as a bar. He would start fights most which ended in his death yes, but none that stuck. So he gave up, went back to the Aurora, and continued on killing. Until he decided that he really needed a vacation.
Which is what led to him in the state he is in now. Lying on the floor of some bar, that history does not remember the name of. He can hear that the ticking of his heart is starting to stop. Jonny does not want to die, he wants to see his crew again, the crew that would never let him be the captain, the crew that he had lived with for so long, the crew he cared for, and the crew he loved. Jonny starts to cry with his hands on that metal plating that has a harsh hole in it from the knife he ripped out. He finally closes his eyes
Now there was one truth in Jonnys story: he did die utterly alone. The bar had been abandoned soon after the fight started and the man who stabbed him was long gone. The only one who was left was Jonny, and now he too is gone.
fin.