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As much as he didn’t like the guy, Tord had to admit that Tom’s recent behavior had been…concerning, to say the least. The eyeless man usually was a sarcastic, angsty prick most days, but this past week he had been significantly more angsty, and less of a sarcastic prick.
It hadn’t bothered Tord until he noticed how little of an effect his attempts at agitating the man had as of late. Usually, a simple shove or a response said in a specific tone would get Tom frustrated enough to bite back at least. However, Tom had basically given up even trying to engage Tord in any way whatsoever. He was lucky to even have the man look at him at this point. The only reaction he had been able to get was a flinch after he called Tom ‘Jehovah’s Witness’, and that’s probably due to Tord catching him off guard while he was stewing in his thoughts.
Typically, if Tord ever went too far with something, Tom would just leave for a few hours to cool off and give him the cold shoulder for a day. Edd would also have a word with him since Tom would confide his issues to him. However, this time when Tord actively went out of his way to ask Edd if he went too far with Tom again, Edd just shrugged and told him he had no idea what was going on either.
“He’s barely speaking to me right now. I haven’t been able to get any answers out of him, so I’m just going to leave it be for now. I’ll let you know if he tells me anything, I guess.”
Looks like Tord was going to have to get answers himself.
It’s not that he actually cared. He just wanted to know if he did anything wrong or not.
He just needed to know.
He figured the best time to confront Tom would be at night when Edd and Matt had turned in for the night and when Tom had downed a couple of drinks. They’d have to be more civil in their interaction to not disturb their housemates, and Tord figured a drunk Tom would be more open about his feelings.
As soon as Edd and Matt said goodnight, Tord began going over how he was about to approach the conversation. He had planned out several different starters, a few immediate responses he could give to some hypothetical comments and questions, and even considered a possible fix that’d benefit both him and Tom. He just had to find the right moment to actually begin talking to him-
“Plan your murder more discreetly, Commie.”
That must be a signal. He took a seat next to Tom on the couch, making sure there was a decent distance between them.
“As if I’d make my attack so overt. I’m not as obvious as you are,” Tord replied, hoping his snarkiness would help ease into the conversation.
“Sure, whatever,” Tom mumbled, taking a swig of his drink. It wasn’t his usual Smirnoff, instead being some wine Matt had brought home to take on a date. He hoisted his legs onto the coffee table in front of the couch, fixating his gaze on the TV.
“Speaking of being obvious,” Tord started, “you’ve been…different lately. Anything you wanna tell your good pal, Tord?”
“We aren’t friends.” Tom grabbed the remote and turned the volume up slightly, trying to signal the Norwegian to fuck off.
“Well, an enemy is just a friend you don’t like, so technically-”
“Shut up and leave me the hell alone.”
Alright, so being lighthearted isn’t working, he’s actually going to have to get into feelings. One of the main things he sucks at.
Tord sighed “, Look, what’s going on with you? You’ve been more of an emo than usual. At the very least, you’d sneer at me or something. But you haven’t been doing as much as looking me in the eye.”
Tom took another swig of his drink, completely ignoring the man next to him.
“I mean, usually if I did something wrong, Edd would chew me out, but he doesn’t know either, so whatever it is has to be bad-bad, I assume. If it’s something you aren’t going to him about, what could it be?”
Tord flinched as Tom placed the bottle onto the coffee table and turned to him.
“And why exactly do you care?” Tom asked slowly, looking very fed up.
Tord quickly responded, “I don’t.”
“Then why are you asking? Go jerk off to your anime instead.”
Tom grabbed the remote again to switch the channel, but Tord snatched it out of his hands and turned off the TV.
“The bloody hell was that for!?”
“I’m done being nice. Tell me what’s going on.”
“You just said you don’t care-”
“- I don’t. ”
“Then why are you being so persistent?”
“Because I don’t know if your misery is my fault or not. And if it’s not, I wanna know what is causing it.”
“So you just want to know if you’re guilty or not before I tell Edd?”
“No, I want to know who’s trying to take my job so I can kick their ass.”
“Alright,” Tom reached into his pocket, pulled out a piece of paper, and threw it at Tord, “Have fun fucking kicking the Watch Tower’s ass then.”
The paper hit Tord in the face and landed in his lap. He picked it up and unfolded it, realizing it was a letter addressed to Tom. He began to read it.
Dear Thomas,
As you know, I shouldn’t even be attempting to reach out like this. Merely the act of trying to associate with you once again is a sin and I am risking a lot just to speak to you. I beg of you not to write back, call, or visit until you’ve straightened yourself out, spoken to the Elders, and have come back to us.
It still breaks my heart that you have chosen to go down such a sinful path. I don’t know how many times I’ve looked at your picture, praying you’ll come back to Jehovah. Ever since I lost you it’s like reliving the day I lost your father. However, I know I’ll be reunited with him once again in paradise.
I can’t say the same for you.
You saw firsthand how those not following the word of our lord behave. How savage and wicked they could be. Yet, you still embraced them. You gave up your chance at surviving armageddon, all for what? Some loud music, a career in the arts, a group of boys who you might not even be around anymore? Did they ever really care about you the same way as Jehovah, the Elders, and I did? I know they didn’t.
I loved you so much, Thomas. I really did. I pray every night that you’ll be given a second chance. That you’ll come back to us, and Jehovah will forgive you. It hurts every time I hear the other mothers talk about their children, knowing that I lost mine to the sins of this world. I failed in being able to protect you, and for that, I apologize.
Please remember that this shunning isn’t a punishment. It’s meant to remind you of what’s truly important. It’s to encourage you to better yourself so you can have a chance. Find it within yourself to give up the temptations that have corrupted you so your mother can have her baby boy back. So this family can feel whole once again. You know I cannot hold an apostate in my heart, so I beg you to open your eyes.
May Jehovah watch over you, Thomas.
-Mom
Tord stared blankly at the paper once he was done reading. He…wasn’t prepared for any of that.
“Thomas…”
“You happy now, prick? Gonna go beat my mum into a bloody pulp? Fight the entire Government Body?”
A wave of guilt washed over the Norwegian as he began to really process what that letter meant.
“D-does that mean that-”
“-I’m literally not allowed to associate with my family because I messed up one too many times? Yes. They treat me like I’m dead, at best, and a demon at worst.”
“What did you do? I…can’t fathom what you had to have done to have everyone turn on you like that.”
“Want the list? I dated outside the religion, and spent time with the girl alone. I didn’t do service several times for school-related reasons. I associated with other non-Jehovah witnesses: Edd, Matt, my ex, you. Oh, and I liked rock music and punk and emo culture. I don’t even think that’s all of the reasons.”
“So you were a normal teen and got cut off for it?”
“I was a sinner and got disfellowshipped for it. Get it right.”
Tord looked at Tom with nothing but pity in his eyes. He genuinely was in shock with what he heard. Tom reached for his wine again and took his feet off the coffee table, clearly intending to leave.
“Thomas, I…I had no idea.” Tord spoke up, trying to keep Tom with him.
“No one does. That’s why Edd hasn’t told you anything. I haven’t told him about it,” Tom kept his gaze downward as he spoke, “You’re the only person here who knows.”
The last part of Tom’s statement hit Tord for some reason. Something about him being the only one who knows this information didn’t sit right. While the selfish part of him was almost happy he was the only one to know this personal information, the more sympathetic part felt something akin to frustration knowing that no one else ever bothered to delve into this. The fact they all had lived with this man for years and never once questioned anything about his religion. Were they all really that dense as to not see something was wrong?
“Why?”
“Why what?’
“Why haven’t you said anything about this until now? We know you are a Jehovah’s Witness, so why haven’t you told us about all… that ”
Tom didn’t respond for a good while. Long enough to where it started to worry Tord. It seemed like the eyeless man was going to say something.
“...Thomas?”
That’s when Tom crumbled. He put his head in his hand as tears started to fall.
“I’m fucking ashamed, Tord. I’m ashamed of knowing that all that is my fault.” Tom finally answered.
Tord looked around the room, not exactly sure how he should go about the current situation. He didn’t want to just leave Tom crying like this, but he wasn’t sure what he should say. Should he even say anything at all? What should he do?
He scooted closer so he was right next to Tom. He placed a hand on the man’s shoulder, squeezing it a bit in an attempt to calm him down.
“Tom, look at me for a moment.” Tord requested softly. Tom lifted his head from his hands slightly to properly look at him. Tord began to speak.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. You were just a teenager doing what teenagers do. Nothing you did justifies what they did to you. There is nothing you should be ashamed of because there isn’t any shame to be had. If they can’t handle that fact and want to villainize you for it, that’s their problem and their loss.”
“What do you mean by that?” Tom asked. Tord took a moment to make sure his next words came out the way he wanted them to.
“Tom, you’re...a pain in the ass, but like, one that I appreciate having around. When I say I haven’t met anyone like you, I don’t mean just because of your eyes, as eccentric as they are. You’re unique and the common sense when everyone else doesn’t want to be. You’re creative, surprisingly supportive when you want to be, and you don’t put up with anyone’s bullshit. The fact they traded all that away because you didn’t listen to them all the time should be a crime.”
Tom’s tears had begun to stop. He looked at Tord in disbelief.
“Do you really mean that?”
“...Yes, I do. I think you’re worth way more than whatever those Watch Tower bastards think you’re worth.”
Within seconds, Tom had placed down the bottle and gave Tord a very unexpected embrace. Tord awkwardly put his arms around Tom, not exactly sure how to feel about the sudden hug. All he knew was that he didn’t hate it.
“Thank you, Tord”
Tord noticed Tom’s voice was still shaky. He hugged him a little tighter.
“You’re welcome, Tom.”
The two men ended their hug shortly after Tord’s reply. Soon silence filled the room, as neither Tom nor Tord knew what to say. They both just sat in the awkward quietness, occasionally passing glances at one another.
Tom was the first to speak up, breaking the silence.
“Y’know, I honestly wasn’t expecting you, out of all people, to have been able to sympathize with me. I don’t know how I should feel about that.”
“As I said, I’m the only one who should be making you miserable. If something or someone else is doing that, then I’ve gotta do something about it.”
Tord received a weak, playful punch in response. Tom then grabbed his bottle and got up from the couch.
“I’m gonna try to sleep now. Feeling a little less awful than the other nights. Sleep well, Tord.”
Tord gave a small wave as he got the remote and turned the Tv back on. “Alright, god natt. I’m gonna stay out here a little longer.”
“You do that.”
And with that, Tom left to his room for the night, leaving Tord alone.
Tord leaned back on the couch, not even paying attention to what was on screen. His thoughts were entirely flooded with everything that happened prior. He never had a real heart-to-heart with Tom like that, and he couldn’t help but feel sorry for the man. He felt guilty for somewhat enjoying the fact he had this opportunity.
‘I wonder if there is anything I can actively do aside from just supporting him through all this? Should I stop calling him Jehovah’s Witness? Probably for the best if I did. I’ll figure out another name.’
His thoughts began to slow as sleep took hold. He’d worry about his part later. For now, he’ll rest and dream about his army taking care of Tom’s issue for good.