Work Text:
Briefing room 2:
'Where have you been? What happened?' Kirk exclaims.
'My mother. I could never tell her I loved her.' A weepy Vulcan turns toward him.
'We've got four minutes, maybe five.'
'An Earth woman, living on a planet where love, emotion, is bad taste.'
Kirk grabs him and shakes him. 'We've got to risk a full-power start. The engines were shut off. No time to regenerate them. Do you hear me? We've got to risk a full-power start!'
'I respected my father, our customs. I was ashamed of my Earth blood.' Spock continued as if the words could not stop spilling out.
(Kirk slaps him)
'Jim, when I feel friendship for you, I'm ashamed.' he confesses earnestly.
(He slaps him again)
'You've got to hear me! We need a formula. We've got to risk implosion!'
(Kirk attempts to slap him again)
't's never been done! -Understand, Jim. I've spent a whole lifetime learning to hide my feelings.'
(He grabs Kirks hand and pushes it away)
'And I've hid my feelings from you.'
(Kirk is staring and rubbing at his hand)
'We've got to risk implosion... we...' he trails off.
'It's never been done.' Spock says breathlessly.
'Spock... I've got it, the disease.' He breathes in deeply and grips the desk.
'I wanted to tell you Spock... but it's better if you don't know...' He is struggling to keep his mouth closed.
'Jim?' He steps closer to him.
‘I wanted to…- but I -we- could never… this duty binds me-‘
UHURA [OC]: 'Bridge to Captain. Engineer asked, did you fin- '
'Yes, I found Mister Spock! I'm talking to Mister Spock, do you understand?!'
UHURA: 'Yes, sir. Three and a half minutes left, Captain.'
'Jim, you are the only person I have ever confessed any of my feelings to.'
'You're allowed to feel love Mr Spock... the Captains not permitted. -But maybe you're lucky you can't feel it...' Kirk averts his gaze.
'But Jim...' Spock pleads, 'I do, -feel love.'
Kirk looks up, starry-eyed.
'I feel it... when I am around you.'
Kirk's face changes to shock and he grabs him by the shoulders.
'Spock, how did this happen? -I always thought you couldn't... I never thought you... of all people...'
‘There is no logical explanation… but the feelings are there. I was ashamed of them for too long.’
‘No, please Spock, don’t be… -I couldn’t stand it,’
'What did you want to tell me, Jim?'
Suddenly bashful, Kirk says 'well... I... too, have felt something for you Spock. -I care more for you than anyone aboard this ship.'
'Jim, why does it hurt this much, to feel, -to love?'
'I... don't know Spock... It hurts me too- this so-called duty'
Slowly, as if in a daze Kirk bowed his head and rested it on the Vulcan's chest with his arms tucked up like a child might. Slower still, Spock pulls his arms around him.
'Jim' he whispers, pulling himself back slightly.
'There is an intermix formula.'
'... every day you put up with me... Smiling at every woman I see.' Kirk pulls away from him.
'It's never been tested. It's a theoretical relationship between time and antimatter.'
'No one to confide in, keeping those desires inside for so long... must be...'
Scotty bursts into the room. 'Captain!'
'Scotty, -help.'
'Stand by to intermix. I'll call the formula in from the Bridge.'
UHURA [OC]: Entering upper stratosphere, Captain. Skin temperature now twenty-one hundred seventy degrees.'
'I've got to hang on. Tell them. Clear the corridors, the turbo lift. Hurry.
(Scott and Spock leave)
'Don't ... leave me... '
(Doors close.)
'I am the captain' he breathes through gritted teeth.
Bridge:
(McCoy gives Kirk a hypo as he leaves the turbolift and he sits down in his chair)
'Engine room. We're set. Hyperbolic course.'
'Direction, sir?'
‘Direction. Direction. It doesn't matter. The way we came.'
'Course laid in, sir.'
Engineering:
'Raise antimatter eight and forty degrees.'
'That'll take four minutes.'
'We haven't the time. We'll have to risk it. Bridge, we're ready.'
Bridge:
'Engage.'
Spock enters the bridge and walks over to the captain's chair.
'Are you all right, Jim?' he says lowering his voice.
'Are you?' Kirks asks sweetly, gazing lovingly up at him with a twinkle in his eye.
(Spock nods)