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Chapter Text

Sova never thought himself to be a multi-faceted person, he thought he was pretty one-dimensional and straightforward. He made his intentions clear and concise, not really ever being in the mood to have to explain himself; he always make sure to not dance around any points he tried to make, no point in letting people put words in his mouth. Even with his straightforwardness, however, the probing and leading questions of the other agents were often annoying.

He made sure to make his intentions and processes well-known during the first few months of his stay, bordering on pure isolation with the intention of avoiding questions. He would answer anything that came up naturally but was never really one to share info if it was just for the exchange itself. That made no sense, and he made that very clear, which made talking to him a bit more of a challenge. In order to account for this, he just let himself pull away from the other agents. He had no reason or need to speak with them outside of work, so he held himself to that. Even after getting to a point where being social became physically difficult , which was a little worrying in and of itself, he kept his cards close to his chest.

He had a tendency for disappearing at times, not at any important times, but it was still concerning. He knew that they saw him as an important liability, the widest of juxtapositions. 

His accuracy gave him information, which made him important. 

The consequences of this knowledge are what would weigh him down. 

When he first arrived, he was quite shaken; perfect on the field and never missed his shot, but often took extra care to avoid others when he could.

Sage had sat him down at one point, knowing that she could be the gentle force he needed.

“What is happening, Sova?”

“I am not the fraternizing type.” His answer was snippier than he needed it to be, but it still didn’t stop him. He needed to get his point across, this wasn’t a conversation that he wanted to have again.

“Why does it feel like something more? I understand not wanting to socialize, but this is a calculated avoidance of your fellow agents. Socializing is how we learn about one another, and get closer as a team.” She set down her mug of tea and frowned. “I want to take care that you are experiencing and processing things that we do not know, but I also need you to know that we will always be here for you. You are never alone here.”

“I am well aware ,” he joked lightly, but the woman did not laugh. His smile fell quickly as his eyes focused on his hands. “I am trying, it will take time.”

“Brimstone is also worried,” she continues tensely, “and because you are so new, we have decided that pairing you up with one of our other agents will maybe help bring you out of your shell.”

“I say this kindly: that is a terrible idea.” The Russian leaned back slightly. “Integration is not my strong suit, especially with another’s help.”

“He has acted as a security detail for the Protocol grounds, and he seems to have grown…. attached to your presence here.” She chuckled at the memory. “It was only in common spaces, nowhere personal. Regardless, he would ask incessantly about where you would go when you were not with us. I think this will help him to work better with us, and help bring you out of your shell a bit.” 

Sage refused to meet his eye as he processed this. “We know he won’t defect, meaning there’s no need to worry about any personal information being released, but he’s with us because Kingdom attempted a hit on him. They failed, obviously, but he’s still processing those who he lost during that. That is all I promised to tell about him.”

He nodded absentmindedly, he wasn’t sure what he could ever say. They allowed someone to spy on them, to watch their every move. What kind of person is okay with that? A constant and unknown invasion of privacy?

“Why did you not think to tell any of us?” Sova took a deep breath and rubbed his hands together. He could feel a kind of anger building in him, but he knew better than to take it out on her. Seeing Sage match him was terrifying to say the least, especially after last time.

She signed heavily and ran a hand over her face. “His field surveillance is like no other, and it is a great asset to the Protocol.” He watched her crane her head over her shoulder, gesturing into the room with her head.

And there stands the gumshoe .

The man looked almost akin to nervous, but was trying to cover it with a sense of curiosity. He walked over and stood to the side of Sage’s chair, but still behind it. The two men just stared for a moment, sizing each other up and creating a general vibe.

If he didn’t know any better, Sova would have actually really liked him. He seemed kind, almost paranoid, as his eyes flickered around the room. His hands were clasped behind him, giving an extra stretch to his shoulders. 

The man held out his hand to shake. “Call me Cypher.”

The Hunter stared for a moment, almost surprised, before returning the gesture and shaking his hand. “Sova.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Sa-... Sova.”

Sage stood up and smiled. “I will leave you two to get acquainted,” and she walked out of the common room towards the living quarters. The blond man gestures his hand down to offer the now-empty chair. Cypher smiled, or as close to one as he can with his mask, and holds up a finger to signal ‘just one moment’.

Sova watched him go into the kitchen and reach up to a tall cupboard, putting a brown and green box near the back. His defenses quickly spiked back up at the sight of the box, and the other noticed almost immediately. Without turning from his current objective of making sure he doesn’t break anything, he answered lightly:

“Just some tea from my home, it is very expensive.”

“How exactly were you granted surveillance of the Protocol?”

Cypher seemed taken aback by the boldness, but appreciated the conversation starter. He sat at the open chair and leaned back slightly. “I started doing it, got caught, and they let me continue it. I had the tech to prove it was all native.”

“Most would have been killed for that, you know.”

“They know that death is nothing to me.” He laughed lightly. “I made that very clear when I was first taken.”

“You made them think you’re some kind of immortal ?”

The man across from him gave a laugh that bled with bad memories and fatal feelings, but still did everything to meet his eye. “I was asking them to kill me. If our dear Ling told you the things I wished to relay, I was not in the best shape when taken in.”

“I-“ He had another quip readily available, but there was something sitting at the front of his brain. “Ling?”

“Yes, the مُداوٍ…” The Arabic word seems to stumble out of Cypher’s mouth. The two stared for a moment, both trying to figure out exactly what was going on. 

Finally breaking eye contact, he taps his fingers lightly and sighs. “The-The…” 

The man points to the door with a look of disbelief on his face. Sova almost wants to laugh, not in a mean-spirited way, but there’s no other way it could be conveyed.

“Sage? Our healer?” The laugh slips slightly, but he recovers fairly quickly.

“ Yes! Yes, healer .” The investigator laughs at his own forgetfulness, ending it off with a sigh. With this little mishap, they lapsed back into a neutral silence. Not exactly good, not exactly bad, just learning. 

Outside of the information that he had learned, the man seemed rather kind. He didn’t seem to want to take up space, and was always observing. As of this moment, he was trying to search his face for any signs of discomfort, which the Russian knew there were none. He may have looked a little confused or concentrated, but he felt no ill feelings in this moment; rather he felt very calm in the presence of him, which was something that was very new.

He got a little lost in his mind, and was brought back by the other’s voice as it rang softly through the room.

“I do hope that we will be acquaintances, at the very least.”

Sova was almost taken aback by this statement; probably the most unsure declaration of friendship he had ever heard.

“I think we’re already on a track to be friends.” He smiled softly as he spoke, and the change in demeanor was almost immediate. 

Chapter Text

It really wasn’t expected that they would hit it off so quickly, but it happened and it was almost too entertaining to not watch.

They worked well together on the field, and worked better off of it. What one didn’t understand, the other did and was able to explain. They filled each other's blind spots effortlessly, and became each other’s second halves so quickly that if you blinked you’d miss it.

It was initially thought that their friendship would die down after a week or so as they became complacent in each other’s presence, but they just became more and more chaotic as the weeks went on. As they learned more about one another’s habits, they were able to bounce off of each other more than ever; knowing when the other was hurt, upset, or tired often came more in handy than they would ever expect it to.

“I’m telling you that you’re wrong!”

Sova was sitting on top of a structure in the training arena, having just finished a set, while Cypher worked to try and hone in on good positioning for his camera.

“What is wrong with my corrections to your form?” His question was simple, but the little push to argue could be felt as he continued to throw and recall the camera. 

Like clockwork, Sova took the bait.

“ Everything !” He stood and looked down at him, as the Moroccan chuckled. “These work best based on my bow’s weight and size, there’s no way to make them more efficient!”

“I’m just saying -“

Sage and Reyna sat off to the side and watched them bicker, one swelling with pride and the other confused.

“I still do not understand how they have become friends so quickly.” She cocked her head. “Or how they never run out of things to argue about.”

“I don’t think any of us do, Rey.” The healer leaned her head on the other’s shoulder and took in the sight of the two bickering. “It’s best not to ask, however, since this is the most I’ve heard either of them speak since they joined us.”

Sova threw his hands up and sat back down, criss-crossing his legs and tossing up his drone to fly circles.

“You are insufferable .”

Cypher pushed his hands up on the top of the structure as he climbed, before ploping himself down beside the other and leaning his full body weight into his shoulder. 

“If you really believed that, you wouldn’t keep me around!” He pressed harder, throwing the hunter off balance.

The issue is, this was a tall but small platform.

Cypher tried his best to reach for the other and pull him up, but Sova had him beat in sheer body mass and brought him tumbling down with him.

The healer and dualist’s conversation was interrupted by a loud crash as they both looked over, finding two of their agents in a pile on the ground.

Sage got up quickly, jogging over to where they were and listened as the bickering continued.

“ Why did you think that was a good idea? ”

“I wasn’t expecting you to fall! ”

“You pushed me, and I wasn’t expecting it!”

“ You’ve got me beat in sheer body mass by so much , I wasn’t expecting it to do anything! ”

“You boys better stop bickering before I bring Brim in to deal with you.” She helped them stand up, pulling them to their feet and doing a once-over of them.

“Please don’t, I will cry,” Sova joked as he stared at her blankly. There was a moment of silence before she burst into laughter and the hunter broke into a proud smile.

“I swear, that gets me every time!” She laughs for a few moments before flicking her eyes between them. “Both of you are good, no one’s hurt?”

“All good here!”

It was not all good, Sova could physically feel the muscles in his wrist twisting in ways they were not supposed to.

He looked at Cypher, then at her and said, “all good here too,” like a liar.

“Okay good. No hurting yourselves now.” With that, she walked back to her spot with Reyna and the two left the room. 

Now that the two women had left, he allowed himself to make a small pained face and roll his wrist, which only made the pain worse. Cypher noticed this and grabbed the upper arm of his good hand.

“I’ll wrap your wrist, it’ll help with the swelling that’ll happen.” He spoke lightly, but there was another tone behind it that the Russian couldn’t quite put his finger on. 

He was dragged to the common room and made to sit in one of the chairs. He adjusted his sitting position to have his legs up on the first rung of the supports and knees positioned almost in a ‘V’ while Cypher lifted himself slightly to reach the back of a cabinet. Out of this, he pulled a travel-sized first aid kit and brought it over. 

His voice was soft and almost soothing as he opened it. “Arm out, tell me if I wrap it too tight.” 

His sleeve was pushed up, and the already-reddening skin pulsed at the brush of cool air. Cypher stood at a distance that felt almost too close as he prepared the things he needed, and it made the hunter’s heart rate go up for a reason he couldn’t entirely pinpoint. In some sort of attempt to block his arm from the line of sight of the door, most likely in case Sage or Reyna came in and saw that he was in fact hurt, the man had positioned himself in the space between his knees.

With a roll of gauze in one hand and Sova’s forearm in the other, he began wrapping.

The skin itself was sensitive, and he hissed softly at the pain as he tried his best to not accidentally flinch back and press the other between his knees . “Too tight?” There was a rasp to the detective’s voice that made his head spin for a moment as he felt his face begin to redden slightly.

Nope, nope. Not the time to be having these thoughts.

It took Sova a moment to recover from that bout of thinking, but he seemed to recover fairly well. “No, no. The skin just hurts.” The man nodded curtly, and continued wrapping the arm lighter than before. He stopped right before the wrist and looked up.

“I have to wrap this part very tightly for support, squeeze my other arm if the pain gets too much.” After a returned curt nod as Sova did everything in his power to not lean his head on the other’s chest, he began to tightly wrap the wrist and hand. Almost immediately, Sova’s hand had grabbed the other’s upper arm and started squeezing.

There was a moment of flinched silence as the wrapping continued, the seated man’s eyes locked on the other’s face. He couldn’t see any major facial expression, but he could tell that he was concentrating by the slight furrow in his brow. 

“You told Sage that you didn’t get hurt.”

Both agents jumped as Cypher turned his head around. Reyna was standing behind him, arms crossed. There was a flash of confusion in her eyes at how the two were positioned, but it faded away to anger as the older man repositioned himself further away.

“I will let Sage know that that is why his arm is wrapped!” Without looking at it, he quickly finished the wrap and glanced back at it slightly to fasten the gauze.

She ignored him entirely, keeping her eyes locked on the archer. “You’re often our beacon of honesty, why lie about something so… inconsequential ?” Sova looked down at his wrapped arm, studying the texture of the gauze as she stared him down.

“It’s rare to see Sage relax nowadays. I didn’t want to ruin her fun.” He smiled as he looked up. “Besides, I didn’t lie about it! I just didn’t mention it.”

“That’s a lie of omission, солнышко ,” Cypher said teasingly as he cupped the bottom of his face and squeeze his cheeks. The warmth returned as the older let go and packed up the first aid kit. He went to put it away and quickly returned to the same spot he was in before, but a bit further out.

“Okay- Well- I-” The borderline-interrogation mixed with the pet name and the contact that he really wasn’t going to address at the moment made his face flush red. “I wasn’t lying about it to be malicious , just to save her the trouble!”

“Aww, baby’s first lie. How adorable.” As she laughed her sentence out, she shot the other man an unreadable look and left the room. 

The hunter sighed heavily as he leaned forward, resting his head on the other’s lower sternum. “Thank you for wrapping my arm, I appreciate it.”

“Any time, солнышко ,” he chuckled in response.

“I’m never going to live down my reaction to that, am I?”

Two pats to his head and a smile in the other’s voice. “Never ever, my measured friend.”

Chapter Text

The other agents seemed to warm up to Cypher just as Sova had, although more out of curiosity than actual interest.

“Cy? What exactly’s up with you and Sova?”

Killjoy had asked him this while he was helping her with a project in her workshop. He was searching through a box of scrap and finding metal to melt for soldering, when his head shot up at the question.

She had a knowing look in her eyes, but he was determined to lie his way out of this.

“Nothing in particular,” he said slowly, “why do you ask?”

“Curiosity, is all.” She smiled down at the work she was doing. “He talks about you a lot, all good things. He enjoys your company.”

There was a swell of pride in his chest that felt like a balloon, and he cleared his throat to try and recover. “We-Well-”  that was definitely a new feeling that he didn’t have the time or energy to figure out as of right now. 

“With just the way that you responded to that, there has to be something , even if it’s just on your side.” She leaned back against the table and smirked in his direction.

“It’s nice to have a friend, I haven’t had one of those in a long time.” It was only partially a lie, and he was hoping that she would take it as an answer.

In all honesty, he really didn’t know what exactly he was feeling. It had only been a few weeks, and the two had become attached almost immediately. He didn’t want to call it a ‘crush’, because he was well past the age for those. While it was true that it was nice to have a friend that he trusted, there was also something behind that. 

She let out a quick laugh and crossed her arms. “That’s like me saying that I ‘enjoy Raze’s company’.” Yeah, she was onto him . “You’re not subtle, tinker. You’re just lucky he’s dense.”

He had been caught red-handed. Regardless, he wasn’t going to admit guilt so easily. She only saw through the screen that he put up, not the guards. He was going to be fine .

“What we don’t get in facial expression, we do get in body language.” Her smile was kind, and that made him feel a little more okay. “We know you’ve got things you’re still processing, and it’s nice to see you gain attachment to someone besides a dead spouse.”

The air ran cold for a second. How did she-?

Okay, nevermind, he is NOT fine.

He saw a look of horror on her face that she had just said that, and it was only a little entertaining.

“I was sent in for recon in Rabat, during one of the first mission before collecting you. I had met a group leader who knew you, and they…” she was speaking so quickly that she had to take a moment before she said, “ theykindatoldmeeverything .” 

“They what?” He knew what he heard, he just needed to be sure .

“They…” She swallowed heavily and, “they told me everything, your whole life story that they knew.” Her arms uncrossed as she picked at a strap on her jacket. “I- They told me about your… your wife, and your baby daughter. They showed me their graves, we saw you there and that’s how I knew what you looked like even before we had met because the group had no photos of you.”

“I-“ He didn’t even know what to say, this was something he was going to hold with him to the grave. In this shock, he leaned against the wall and put his hands together. His mind began to race a million miles a minute as he stared into space, trying to separate himself from his racing thoughts. “Wait, that means you’ve-” he needed to take a moment, as he pressed more of his weight into the wall and let it support him. “ Klara, you’ve seen my face. ”

He didn’t care that she knew about Nora, that was something that was going to be figured out eventually, but he held his identity close to his chest. At this point in time, there was only one person in his life that he would even think about showing his face to. 

She held this secret well, he had to give her that, but knowing now that she knew what he looked like made him scared .

She didn’t seem to hear him and continued, “that was a really bad comment, I’m so sorry. It just kinda slipped out.” Her voice had an edge of worry as she watched him and realized that she would be of no help. No one else was going to be available or in earshot, but then she remembered something.

It was an old memory, but she had a feeling it still rang true.

Sova was one of the only people who kept his comms gear on while in the building, so she sent a ping to her room and hoped that he would get the message. “I promise I wasn’t trying to be an ass.” That edge began to bleed into her tone, and the other chuckled lightly.

“I know, I know. You wouldn’t-“ he felt unstable on his feet; that was such emotional whiplash that he didn’t know what to do. “I think I’m going to go and lay down for a while, I can help you again after that. I’m sorry.”

“No, no, don’t apologize!” Her face was red and she almost seemed like she wanted to cry, which was an entirely new thing for Cypher to see . “I’ve got it from here, I’m so sorry again.”

A soft knock on the door stopped them, and Killjoy unlocked it with a swipe on her bracer. Sova stood at the door, looking a bit more casual in a black t-shirt and sweatpants with his hair tied up.

“Hey, I got the ping. What’s wrong?” He looked at Cypher first, who was still leaning against the wall and was physically swaying from what he could only assume was dizziness. His eyes drifted over to Killjoy, who still looked like she was about to cry. 

Their eyes locked and he could see the fear and ‘I fucked up’ in her gaze. He nodded solidly at her, as she just nodded quickly a few times and turned to gather up the scrap that was scattered across the workshop.

He brought his focus back to the man at the wall, and instantly moved to help support him into a standing position. Cypher was considerably shorter than him, which made this difficult, but they still managed to get him into a position where he could move.

“I was just going to lay down.” His voice was soft and almost shaken, which just made Sova worry more.

“The workshop’s a mess, I’ll take you to lay down in mine.” Before the man could get a word edgewise, they were moving towards the archer’s room.

“No, no, it’s okay.”

“I know you won’t rest if I take you back to the workshop. You’ll throw yourself into your work. Come rest, even if it’s only a little while.” Sova was considerably stronger than him, so he couldn’t say no even if he wanted to (which he didn’t, he really just didn’t want to be a burden on the other).

They arrived at the room as the door slid open immediately. It closed behind them as they went into the room, the older flinching at the continued bright lights; KJ’s workshop was always so dark and anyone coming out of it after a while would get flashbanged by the rest of the Protocol’s lighting.

The first thing to go was his hat, set carefully on the desk to his right.

“Do you want help getting out of your jacket?” Sova’s arms left him temporarily to turn the lights down and such, but he was always close by.

“I am a grown man , I don’t need he-“

“It isn’t about needing help, because I know that you are capable. It’s about wanting help; it’s nice to have people do things for you sometimes.” His eyes held a knowing gaze as he circled around to be in front of the spy. 

“I’ve got it-“ His hands reached up, and he tried to fiddle with the first buckle, but his hands were shaking and there was a straining in his eyes from the dizziness and-

He watched the younger’s hands wrap over his and move them slightly down, before reaching back up and undoing the buckles and zippers himself.

It did feel nice, he said to himself.

Having someone take care of you does feel nice.

The jacket, which was different from the one he normally wore by being shorter and more ‘stylish’, slid off of his shoulders and was hung carefully on the back of a desk chair, before Sova lifted one of Cypher’s gloved hands in his and made eye contact.

He stopped for a moment, because most of the agents had seen him without his jacket, but just about none had seen him without his gloves and arm coverings.

“You can keep them on if they’re more comfortable, but-“ his voice faded off for a moment before returning. “That’s up to you.”

Cypher tried to speak, but nothing came out. He took a moment to try and figure out if this was really what he wanted to do, if he trusted this man enough to see him. These thoughts brought back no fear, only comfort and understanding.

He nodded instead, feeling the pressure from the plates in his gloves immediately dissipate as he relaxed slightly and let out a small sigh. The arm coverings came off with it, and he was left in a t-shirt and the work pants he was using so as to not ruin his normal outfit. 

The tan pants were soft enough that he didn’t want to change them, so he slid off his shoes carefully and stood in front of the other, watching as he laid out the gloves carefully on the desk with his hat.

The blankets were pulled out enough for him to get into the bed, and he was gently guided to lay down. He pushed up the pillows slightly, just so he was sitting up more than he was laying down, as Sova sat on the end of the bed.

“Our little engineer knows more than she lets on,” he chuckled as he laid his head back to look at the ceiling, hoping that stretching would help the dizziness. “Am I able to act freely here?”

Sova kept his eyes trained at the wall, not really knowing how to proceed. “That seems like a personal choice, but I would like to say yes.” He held a smile in his voice, and that made Cypher chuckle lightly as he hastily pulled his mask off and laid it in his own lap before returning to his stretch and fluttering his eyes closed.

Sova looked over for a moment, several minutes later, and locked eyes with a maskless Cypher; he proceeded to panic and turn his gaze back to the wall as the older chuckled.

“I am doing this in privacy and confidence; you can look if you wish.”

“The last thing I want is to cross a very well-set boundary, and you know that.”

“Just look at me, Sasha,” the man chuckled.

His gaze turned back, and he took a moment to study the other’s face.

He was, for lack of a better term, beautiful . The little dots of sun marks that have started to fade from underexposure, minuscule scars that litter his cheeks and jaw from wearing the mask unendingly, and his eyes; clearly having a bionic component to them, but still looking human and a deep caramel color that he genuinely got lost in.

Sova’s brain went entirely blank for a moment as he tried to recollect his thoughts, while Cypher went from looking nervous to slightly amused the longer the other stared.

“Earth to Sova, hello?” The older waved a hand half-heartedly, really wanting to see what was going on in the other’s brain.

“ Ты красивая ,” he mumbled, before blinking a few times. 

“Hm? What was that? I didn’t catch it.” Sova caught the teasing tone in the other’s voice and knew he couldn’t handle that right now.

“Unimportant.” He broke eye contact and looked down at the other’s hands as the waving one returned to his lap. There were red marks across his knuckles and they seemed to be stuck in a partially closed position; it looked like it hurt.

“Oh c’mon! Humor me!” His hands twitched for a moment and the blond could see that it did, in fact, hurt.

“Fine, just a moment.” Sova stood quickly, moving to the other side of the room as he closed the blinds, set a popup on the door to ‘Please Knock’, and kicked his shoes off. After doing all of this, he got onto the other side of the bed and sat almost hip-to-hip with him. “Let me massage your hands, they look tense.”

The two stared at each other for a moment, deciding if they really wanted to have this moment right now. They let each other think about it for a moment, before the Russian held out his hand tenderly and the Moroccan set his on top. 

More of the tension seemed to melt off of Cypher as Sova began to lightly massage the top and palm of his hands. They sat in silence for a moment, taking in the tender moment.

“You speak Russian, correct?”

“Conversationally.” Cypher’s head lolled over to the side as he watched the man’s profile, his voice relaxed. Sova looked so focused on this action, his eyes locked down on their hands, that he knew that the other would be none the wiser if he stared for a moment.

“And you know what Ты means?” He moved on to the other’s fingers, taking extra care with each one.

“It translates literally to ‘you’, and is used like ‘tu’ in French, so it’s used more like a ‘you are’.”

“Very good,” he cooed lightly, the words rumbling from his chest. “And красивая ?”

“I have heard it used to describe artwork, but I do not know the true meaning of it-“ he cut himself off with a soft hiss of pain as the other worked out a knotted nerve in his hand.

“That is true, it is used for things like artwork or architecture,” he chuckled nervously as he pressed a bit softer than before. “It means beautiful.” He spoke as carefully as he could. “Other hand.” He waved his fingers and found no pain, which was a first in a long time, and silently brought over his other hand.

“It’s a base sentence, really, and can have things added to it.” Cypher’s eyes flicked up to see the other man smiling in a way he had never really seen before.

“Hmm…” He went back to his work as the Moroccan mulled that over.

“But, the prefix is different for if someone possesses a trait rather than is a trait. Like, I could say,” he looked up again as he finished the final finger on that hand, “ У тебя красивая улыбка .”

“I recognize улыбка , that means smile.”

“Wonderful.” He set the man’s hand back into his lap carefully. “ So , У тебя красивая улыбка means ‘you have a beautiful smile’. Which you do, by the way.” There is a lightness in Sova’s voice that Cypher hadn’t heard before, but now knew that he would make it his mission for it to never disappear. He didn’t really know how to react, so he smiled again and moved his hand back into the Russian’s grasp.

“Also, I am fine,” Cypher changed the subject and squeezed the other’s hand. “The memories just gave me a head rush and I had been working with Killjoy since early this morning. I’m not sick, I promise.”

“Well, then I am going to go get food and a drink for you.” He stood from the bed quickly. “That’s an important part of-“ He lost the words for a moment, but they both got the jist. Sliding his shoes on quickly, he looked back. “There’s a Please Knock sign on the door.” 

With that, he was gone from the room.

Chapter Text

Cypher was starting to doze off when he heard a knock, and a little HUD popped up. It showed a camera, and on it was a worried-looking Killjoy.

He took a moment to breathe, reaching to put on his mask before hitting the button to unlock the door. As soon as it opened, she almost-stumbled in. It took her a moment to take in the scene; Cypher was sitting under the blankets of the bed with no gloves or jacket, but had his mask on.

“I just wanted to-“

“Little engineer, you do not need to apologize. I know your humor, and that it wasn’t something said to hurt me.” She visibly relaxed at this. “I was simply surprised.”

The sullen look on her face was replaced with a sort of soft happiness that didn’t entirely reach her eyes. “That’s fair. I didn’t tell anyone else about it so it isn’t on any of your official files anywhere!”

“Good,” he chuckled as he looked back down at his hands, which were a little more red than normal from the massage.

“Hey, are your hands okay? They look… really irritated.” She stepped closer and got a look at them. The redness was more spread out than it was before, but the man’s finger joints sat more naturally in their relaxed position.

“Yes, yes. Sova was massaging them to help with the pain from the inserts for my gadgets.”

“He gave you a hand massage ?” She looked almost as smug as she did surprised. The man just nodded carefully. “Oh, that’s quite a development.”

“Killjoy, I have no idea what that means.”

“ Right, right!” She clapped her hands together gently. “So, first thing, he’s really not a touchy person. That’s just a ‘with you’ thing!” She smiled wide as confusion radiated off of his body. “ And Jett had asked him about that kinda thing ages ago because he’s given her hand massages too and he only does those for people he feels extra close to!”

“And how is our wind girl a reliable source?”

“Most of us were convinced that they had a thing for each other when they were first introduced to each other, but they’re just both gay and bonded really quick! They tell each other almost everything! ”

The words were like emotional whiplash, but it was not something that was entirely unexpected.

“Sova’s gay?”

“ Technically ,” she leaned back on her heels, “he’s bi, but in the time I’ve known him through the Protocol, I’ve never seen him take even passing interest in a feminine person!” She waved her hand in front of her. “We’re getting off subject!”

“And what subject was that?”

“That Sova’s got some sort of feelings for you and you’ve got some sort of feelings for him! ”

“I’m not doing anything.” The girl visibly deflated. “We’ve just been getting to know each other.”

“Okay, that’s totally fair! I’ll take care of the Sova information, and we’ll go from there!” Before he could even disagree, she hurried out of the room.

He sat for a moment in his thoughts as the door closed with a soft woosh , and realized that he had just given her all of the cards on this. This was equally terrifying and comforting, as he knew that he was going to hold this as close as he could. 

This quiet moment also gave him the time to piece the puzzle together.

Did he really have feelings for Sova?

The subtle touches, wanting to fluster him with pet names and looks, it was all the motions he had gone through at a much earlier time with wildly different people. It was a fulfilling feeling, he did it because it made him feel accomplished. 

No, no, this is just a friends thing.

He had seen some of the other agents do this, it was something that they did with their friends. The boundaries were a bit looser, so they were able to make those jokes . It had to be, that was the only explanation. They were just friends like that, it was the only thing that made sense.

Sova was notoriously distant, despite his social prowess. He was known for holding people at arms’ length, there’s no way that he would let him do these kinds of things if they weren’t just friends .

This was a thought for another day, however, as Sova quickly re-entered the room. He brought with him a small tray of fruit and other snack foods, along with a bottle of water.

“They gave you no trouble?” Cypher removed his mask once again and smiled at the man, who nodded back enthusiastically. 

“I am a master at sneakery , you should know this by now!” There was a chuckle in his voice that made the Moroccan laugh along with him. “No one was in the kitchen, so there was nothing to worry about.”

“‘Sneakery’ isn’t a word, милый мальчик ,” he said the term in a tone that dripped with endearment as the scarlet blush continued its creep up Sova’s neck and face.

“I can’t tell if that was supposed to be a compliment.” He plucked an apple slice from the bowl of fruit. “Besides, sneakery is absolutely a word!” With a soft crunch of apple fibers, he moved back to his spot on the other side of the bed and slotted himself back into the other’s side.

“You are the last person I would think to take getting called ‘pretty boy’ as an insult.” Cypher mirrored his actions and picked up a few berries before popping one into his mouth. The Protocol’s grocery runs always consisted of fresh fruit and vegetables, but he never had time to really take advantage of those foods before they were gone or spoiled.

“The people around here are strange with their insults, and they are as confusing as they are creative.” 

With that, the two lapsed into a comfortable silence; like on their first day, it was not exactly good or bad. It was just a moment to take in one another’s energy and decompress.

“There is no way that ‘ sneakery ’ is a word.”

Sova’s laugh rang through the room as he spurred into another explanation of how it was a word, but an outdated one. Cypher wasn’t exactly taking the information in , but he was listening.

He liked hearing the Russian talk, finding entertainment in the moments of heated discussion where his accent slipped out more than usual. His voice was a rarity most days, relying more on facial expressions and body language to convey his points. Cypher had realized weeks before that he was just about the only person who heard him speak at such frequency, other than Jett. 

He cocked his head as he listened, contentment reading in his body language as he reached for more of the fruit. His voice wasn’t exactly white noise, but it was a comfort. Having someone here was a comfort .

There was something about it being him that continued to ring in his brain, distracting the older as his head continued to lean before making soft contact with the other’s shoulder. There was no lull in conversation, no awkward silence, just a slight adjustment for Sova to run his hand through his dark hair and scratch slightly at his scalp. Cypher's eyes fluttered shut as he listened, sleep being the furthest thing from his mind. 

If he concentrated hard enough, it was like he and Sova were somewhere safe. 

The Protocol was a place where any moment would be interrupted by a call to action; where they could be sent into a battle that they may not live to tell the tale of. He dreamed of a farmhouse, like the ones he had heard Brimstone talk about seeing in his hometown. They weren’t sat in a hospital-like bed, they were nestled together on an oversized chair. The metallic clang of workshops and ventilation faded into the battering of rain as it rolled down the windows. It was warm here, just enough for him to be comfortable under a knitted blanket with his love-

Oh.

That’s…

That’s a definitive answer.

Chapter Text

They went their separate ways a few hours later, after Cypher was feeling more like himself and Sova was starting to get tired. It was more of a matter of keeping appearances; there were multiple agents that knew they were both here. Seeing the man come in but not leave was going to raise flags with them. 

As soon as his space was clear, he moved to his desk and began to work through the paperwork he had snuck in.

Viper had been trying to lower his workload for months, to a point that he was having to nab paperwork from her organizers to get anything aside from busy work. This wasn’t any better; finance approvals, weapons supplying, and the like. It was something , so he wasn’t going to complain.

“You are quite the worker, Sasha.”

He froze for a moment, trying to recognize the voice. It was feminine, but not one that he knew. No one could have snook past his door, and there should be no one else in here.

He began to reach for the Ghost in his desk drawer.

“I understand what Amir sees in you, you’re a good man.”

“Who is Amir?” His voice was as solid as he could be, which wasn’t saying much. “I don’t know anyone of that name.”

“You call him Cypher, his Radiant name. Just as yours is Sova, but I know better.”

His hand wrapped around the gun, quickly flicking the safety off as he prepared to turn around.

“Who are you?”

“He really has kept his word on secrecy, even after my passing? That man, I swear.” He spun around as she spoke, meeting eyes with the wispy apparition. She was wearing a flowy shirt and comfortable pants, her feet planted on the ground as if she was human. The wisps around her shone of Radianite as they reflected around the room. “I am Nora, I was married to him.”

She began to step forward as his senses heightened. It was late, he was tired, it had to be that this was some sort of stress-induced hallucination. 

“I am taking my precious time outside of the veil to visit the man who has caught the eye of my ex-husband, and I am greeted with silence?” Her tone was joking, but something struck in his chest that gave him an immense feeling of guilt.

“I am sorry. Sleep has not come easy these past few weeks, to a point where I am apparently hallucinating my friend’s dead wife.” He had to speak his thoughts, it was the only way to clear them.

“Oh, you sweetheart,” she seemed kind. “I was also Radiant, and have the ability to pass across the veil for small moments. I was joking with you. It can be a bit jarring, I know.”

“Why are you here? You should be spending your time with him.”

“As I said, you are the man who has caught his eye. I am nothing if not nosy, so I wanted to meet you in the flesh.” She sat on the bed, and it did not move. “ But, I like you. You seem to be a good man.”

“What do you mean ‘ caught his eye ’?” He was so confused and he had so many questions. “We’ve only known each other for a few months now.”

“I have run my time here, it was lovely to meet you. He has found good in you, hold that close.”

He blinked and she was gone.

God, he needed to go to bed.

Chapter Text

Sova was so tired, and that’s all he could think about as he read his sloppy handwriting over and over again. He was tossing and turning after the interaction with Cypher’s dead wife that he didn’t even really know much about , and didn’t get any actual sleep. He had thought about going to visit the man just for a distraction, but he figured that any rest he was willingly getting should be uninterrupted.

Here he was, sitting alone in the kitchen of the Protocol with a cup of cheap coffee infront of him (that he totally didn’t slip a shot of his expensive vodka into, just for some kick) as he worked on writing out his checklist for the week. He had many things that they needed to get done and not enough time to do it effectively. As he read over the list time and time again, there were just a few things that were not feasible. 

He felt a strain in his heart as he heavily crossed something in the middle out.

pitstop in Северомо́рск

This was the third time they were having to skip this stop in the last 5 years, and he could feel his demeanor actively deteriorating. He had to keep up morale, but the thought of having to watch VLTR fly over the city again made his heart hurt.

The door made a heavy noise as it opened, and he rubbed his burning eyes.

No crying, Alexander. Be a leader.

Brimstone walked in, also looking a bit tired. He went right away to the coffee machine and poured himself a cup. “Good morning, Sova. It’s still pretty early, how long have you been awake?”

“Not long,” he half-mumbled as he read through the list. “Just getting everything prepared for this week.”

“Well, you sound like you’re exhausted. If everything’s planned, then go rest. We’re waiting on some new training weapons to arrive, since the ones we have are on their last legs.” The man smiled. “Mr. Detective didn’t keep you up too late, did he?” There was a joking tone to his voice, but Sova wasn’t in a joking mood.

“No, we parted ways pretty early in the evening.” He looked it over one more time and realized that cutting out the trip completely resolved his scheduling overlaps. “We are fully mapped out for the week, everything’s a go.”

The smile dropped for a moment before he sighed. “Viper lowered your workload for a reason, Sova.”

“I love you all as my family, but you would implode without my planning.” He closed the notebook quickly, and drank the rest of his spiked coffee. His mug was placed less-than-carefully into the sink as walked towards the door. “I do appreciate the concern, though.”

The door didn’t sound as loud as he walked back towards his room. He took this moment of silence to think over the past few weeks, especially with the information from the night before. Cypher was nice; he was very kind and passionate. There was this cloud of apprehension around his thoughts of the other, rooted in his secrets. His interaction with Nora created such a cluster of information in his brain; he just needed to get back to work at full-pace and it would clear itself out.

Cypher held so much of himself so close, and held what he knew about others with it. His methods were…. Unorthodox at best, and that was rather unsettling. He didn’t enjoy the fact that these hidden things were such a point of contingency, but then remembered that everyone did things because they had to. 

Whether it was fueled by paranoia, true danger, or a need to be on top; it was an act of survival.

That made him feel a bit better about it.

As he arrived at the room and set his things down, he began to feel the pangs of hunger in his stomach. He hadn’t had anything before drinking his coffee, so he knew he had to get something before he began to feel ill. He looked over at his alarm clock and noticed that his walk had taken about 20 minutes.

After grabbing his personal journal and a pen, he began to make his way back to the kitchen. As he stepped out the door and listened to it close behind him, he turned to look at it

Plastered next to his nameplate was a sticker, about the size of an orange.

It was a rounded yellow star with the words “STAR DUO” written in blue bubble text inside of it. It was cute, but he wasn’t entirely sure as to where it came from.

He had too much on his mind, he didn’t need to focus on this.

He zoned back in as he entered the kitchen. Phoenix was sitting at the table as Brimstone was cooking breakfast for himself. “It’s funny, I told Brim not to trust Viper with a sticker maker,” Phoenix remarked that morning as he walked in. 

“She is a grown woman, she can be trusted with things without my permission.” Brimstone turned to watch this interaction unfold. “I was not expecting that out of her, but regardless.”

He took his seat and opened the journal, making light pen marks to shadow out the tables and notes that he would need for the day. The clattering and chatter of the room helped him to focus on this mindless task.

Maybe he should take a nap, he can’t really focus on anything right now .

He heard Phoenix begin to speak, but the first part was garbled by his brain. The man’s laugh made him look up and see that he was having a conversation with someone. Based on the fact that his gaze was looking up at someone behind him, his senses began to prickle at the feeling of someone behind him .

“Oh, it’s absolutely hilarious ,” Cypher’s voice suddenly joined the conversation as he splayed his arms over the hunter’s shoulders and back up to his shoulders, resting his head atop the other’s. “Isn’t that right, my darling duo ?” His eyes stayed down on the book, but he could feel the pressure that would normally be a comfort.

He was knocked quickly out of his trance, and wasn’t happy about it. “I can and will take all of the screws out of your cam if you ever call me that again.” He kept his eyes locked on the notebook.

“And I will make all of the motors on your drone spin backwards.”

“You touch Sirin and I will burn your office to the ground,” he near-snarled as his head snapped to the other. They ended up nearly nose-to-nose. Focus on the argument, Sova. Not on him.

This little drone was near and dear to his heart, even a joking threat would put him on edge.

“You’re cute when you’re mad, солнышко. ”

That was going to make focusing a bit more difficult.

No matter how many times he said it, it still made Sova flush bright red. Brim’s gaze moved to the hunter, his eyes slightly wide with surprise.

“Ow!” Cypher drew his hands back at the smack of his arm from Sova. He watched the other’s eyes meet with their leader and suddenly began to doubt every word that came out of his mouth.

“I-…” There was a moment of heavy silence. Sova shook his head ‘no’ very subtly at their leader, and he just averted his eyes to the other agent and decided to push. “Do you speak Russian?”

“Minimally… Enough to communicate.” He spoke carefully, afraid that he had said something offensive or incorrect. “ солнышко has a direct translation of ‘sunshine’, correct?” A smile, or as much of one that could be seen, began to spread over his face. “He is our golden boy, after all.”

“Yes, it does have that translation.” The tone of Brimstone’s voice was indiscernible. He looked at Sova again, and the two spoke with their gaze. 

Cypher watched them carefully, trying to discern what he could.

Sova looked concerned, and Brimstone looked confused for a moment. 

The blond nodded for a moment as his face relaxed. 

That confusion intensified as Sova smiled. His eyebrows went up as the smile relaxed into a neutral look.

Brimstone looked like he understood as his eyes flickered between the two.

“Cypher, can I borrow your database quickly? I just need to confirm something.” He knew it was a lie, Sova had his own version of that same database without the legal names. He also knew that this was a cop-out to avoid having this conversation.

“Yes, of course.” The man stood suddenly and turned to walk towards the door, the other following closely behind. “Why did you not want to talk about it?” He asked once the door had closed behind them.

“ Солнышко has another translation, and that’s what Brimstone was concerned with. Nothing of terrible importance,” he frowned. “If you’ll excuse me.”

Sova began to walk further down the hall, but Cypher quickly caught his arm.

“What does it mean? I know it is a diminutive of sun, but why did he react like that-”

Sova was already frustrated and tired, so he snapped. “It’s a pet name, okay?” 

They both froze for a moment, before the blond ran a hand over his face. “It’s used in the way putting ‘my’ in front of the translation would be, but it’s also just a generic one that translates to like-” He stopped himself as he crossed his arms.

Oh.

Oh.

So he’d been…

Sova was now entirely avoiding eye contact.

“Are you okay with me calling you that?”

The blond was caught off guard by the question, but kept his eyes glued to the wall. Was he being serious?

“I would have stopped you if it made me uncomfortable,” he spoke carefully. “I am a native speaker after all.”

“Okay, then why is it a problem?"

“I-” He sighed tightly before yawning. “-I have no problems with it. There are just some other agents who know Russian and have known. I wasn’t going to tell you, to be honest.”

“Tell me what? That I’ve been calling you darling in Russian? Would you rather me call you that in English?” He was trying to keep the smugness out of his voice. “I was using it like a petname, Sova.”

For the moment, Sova was rendered entirely speechless.

He expected this to go so much worse. Why wasn’t he yelling, getting mad, blaming him for this? He was the one who was taking advantage of this situation, he should be punished for it.

“I can stop calling you that if it makes you unco-”

“-no!” Sova winced as he realized that he had said that a bit too loud. “Please don’t.”

“Okay, солнышко . Whatever you say.”

The rest of their walk to the workshop was in silence, even as they entered the private space. Sova curled himself into the small sofa and watched the other work diligently. He could feel himself drifting in and out of sleep as he gazed softly. 

Silence seemed to become part of their brand now, being able to communicate with one another almost telepathically through body language.

It wasn’t anything new, but it was just as comforting every time.

Chapter Text

There seemed to be a shift in their dynamic after that; subtle, but still enough to create something entirely new. Affection was no longer something that was entirely contained to privacy, although most of it still was. 

It was no longer a surprise to see the two at the Protocol’s weekly movie nights and find them asleep and entangled with one another by the end of it. Or to see them sitting hip-to-hip as they reviewed mission footage. Or even finding them sharing tea in the kitchen at all hours of the morning.

Conversely, they were adamant about their general disdain for physical contact; that all of the “soft, mushy feelings” were a distraction and unimportant.

If they were anything, they were liars.

Not great ones, but liars nonetheless

It wasn’t like there was anything that they needed to lie about, but it was always a precaution.

“I’m only putting in fifty creds, this seems ridiculous.”

Viper was sat on a perch as she watched Sage and Brimstone work on picking up the now-organized papers from the office’s tables. She filled them out, it was only right for them to be the ones who organized the mess.

“There is something there, I saw it when I first introduced them.” Sage smiled as she clipped together a stack with a plastic paperclip. “I’m putting three-thousand on Sova talking about it first to us, and doing it before Christmas. Cypher’s not nearly as close, and he would be his own direct line if we let him, so he wouldn’t tell us.” 

“I’m going to say after Christmas, ‘cause Sova’s got his family preoccupations during that time. He wouldn’t dump that on us before dealing with that.” Brimstone took the clipped stack and set it into a folder. After looking for a moment to find the correct slot on the organizer, he slid the folded paper in gently and closed the final box. “You wanna up your ante?”

She paused for a moment, and realized that they may have actually had a point. “Fine,” she snipped. “Five-thousand on after the New Year.”

“That’s quite the up, are you sure?” The healer pushed in the final chair at the table as the trio began to make their way to the door.

“Yeah, why not?” She hesitated as the three walked through the door and locked it behind them. “Isn’t it a bit far to be betting on other agents breaking procedure?”

“This isn’t an enforced procedure, just a precautionary one. There’s no need to worry about it.” Brimstone smiled as they began to go their separate ways. “Besides, we make the rules. Our exceptions are the rules!”

Viper was the last person to leave the room, flicking the light off carefully as she continued her walk down to her room. Her walk was luckily silent as she studied the walls and doors that passed her. A wave of tiredness was beginning to wash over her, and she wanted nothing more than to get ready for bed. It had been a stressful da-

She was knocked out of her head by a bump to her shoulder.

The person did not respond as they continued down the hall and she whipped around to see a ponytail of bright white hair behind her.

“What’s got you in a twist, Jett?” She crossed her arms as the girl came to a stop. “I’d think you were on a war path the way you’re storming though here.”

“Just need to go and talk to Sova.” She was mumbly and drawn in as the woman looked her up and down, trying to get any sort of read on her. The two stood in a tense silence for a moment, the clanging and clattering of the building seeming to still in this moment. 

“You need to trust his judgement, kid.” Her voice was as fond as it was concerned. “He knows what’s best for him.”

“And what if he doesn’t ?” She quipped as her arms crossed, more panic than anger radiating off of her. “I don’t trust Cypher, never have. He’s gotten so buddy-buddy, and I can’t-” She stopped and let out the air from her lungs, diverting her eyes. Her voice was soft as she spoke. “I can’t watch him get hurt again, not after Kingdom.”

Viper was taken aback by this, it was a concern that she had never heard from the girl. “Has Cypher given you any other reason to not trust him?”

“Sova’s somewhere around my age, we know that. He’s still a kid.” She rubbed her hands roughly over her face. “He’s like a little brother to me, I need to protect him.”

Viper’s hands were relaxed and steady on her shoulders suddenly. “Jett, we trust him with basically running the Protocol as a whole. He is very sociable when he wants to be, and knows his limits.” Her face went from concerned to fond. “I understand being worried for him, he hasn’t got a lot of real-world experience and is a rather steadfast leader; but you should hear the way that Cypher talks about him. If it was a matter of his life or Sova’s, he’d pick the Owl every damn time.”

“How do you know that?” The woman could feel her starting to shake under her grasp. “How do you know it isn’t just another mask?”

“For how much the man values security, he isn’t the greatest at keeping his workshop locked up. He also has a habit of talking out his dilemmas to himself.” She smiled and moved one of her hands to pat the side of Jett’s head twice. “Believe me, he’s in good hands.” The girl just nodded as she was released from Viper’s grasp and stepped back.

“I still need to talk to him.”

“I’m not going to stop you, just keep what I said in mind.” She turned quickly down the hall and continued her walk, leaving Jett alone in the spot that felt all too big.

The door was just two more down, 15 steps. She had to talk to him for her own peace of mind, and the steps became easier with each one. 

Left, right. 

Left, right.

The sticker on his nameplate was taunting her, but she just quickly scanned her key as the door swooshed open. He was at his desk, working on what looked like the week’s detailed itinerary, and didn’t notice her entrance. 

She was beginning to have second thoughts about bringing this up, that it was something that was only going to benefit her, but it just slipped out before she could think.

“I thought you hated all of that mushy stuff, Retriever.”

He jumped quietly and spun in his chair to look at the white-haired girl at his door. She was leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

“What ‘ mushy stuff ’?” The notebook on his desk was quickly and blindly closed as he folded his hands in front of him.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” The little tuts that sounded out as she walked in almost shot shocks down his spine. She was not the person he wanted to have this conversation with, especially with their track record. 

It had been weeks since the last public “questionable interaction”, as she put it. Why did she need to choose now to talk about this?

“I supposed I don’t,” he played dumb, “I haven’t done anything of the sort.”

“Sova, I’m not blind.” Her tone matched her face; strained and blindly optimistic

His smile was forced, hoping to move forward from this. “Jett, I’m not having this conversation.”

“Not right now?” She leaned on her elbows with her hands under her chin, crinkling the papers on his desk under the weight.

“Not ever .” His face was stony. “I love you, very dearly, but this isn’t something I am going to involve anyone in.”

“We’re supposed to be besties,” she grumbled as she stood back straight. “This isn’t bestie behavior, Sova.”

“Just because I won’t tell you the details of my emotions?”

“I want to help you!” Her tone moved from cool to concerned in a flick. Sova found it almost impressive how quickly she was able to switch. “You’ve always worried me, I need to know you’re okay.”

“I am a grown man, Jett. You don’t need to worry about it.”

“That won’t stop me.” Her tone was peppy, but the excitement didn’t quite reach her demeanor. “I am always here, and you know that.” The hand that made sudden contact with his shoulder was warm and kind, he knew that she was always an anchor point that he could trust. “It’s been months now, and you two just keep getting closer. I worry about you.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Your patterns have become part of your personality now. You guys are attached at the hip, and now there’s always things that he’ll know before I do.” There was a nervous echo in her words as she removed her hand a took a step back.

His silent nod held that same echo as she turned to the door, moving slowly in order to give him time to change his mind about not having that conversation.

But he didn’t.

He turned his attention back to his notes as the door swooshed softly behind her.

Chapter Text

The Russian stayed frozen at his desk for a while after that interaction; only moving to lay down after his eyes began to blur from strain, lights off and staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t seem to wrap his head around what exactly was going on as his brain was a swimming mess of emotions that seemed to try to push further and further into his mind. 

He wasn’t sure how long it has been since Jett had come to talk to him.

The memories that played across his eyes were littered with feelings of admiration and infatuation, the two things he was trying his best to avoid. The little touches and arguments that flirted on the edge of discussion; the idea that he craved those moments and what they brought. Touch was something that was earned, not freely given, so the idea of earning it just from being himself made his face begin to flush once again. 

These feelings were new, and new things about himself were always scary.

He was at a point with himself where he felt as though he did not know himself as well as he knew he should. The body he inhabited was a vessel for the training that is engraved in his brain; nothing more, nothing less. He had no feelings, no right to feel those things when his mission was left incomplete. 

He could go back to being a human when his mission was complete.

That was a train of thought that he knew he had to immediately run off the rails and crash. Bringing himself through that was only going to hurt more than his own ignorance. He was Sova, and he knew that he would never have to be him again, but the idea of becoming entirely human without the completion of his mission brought him physical pain .

The pain always began in his scalp; definitely the most unusual place for it to start, but also the most noticeable. He could feel every follicle of his hair and how much it strained against his skin. It stung , like electric shocks or bee stings. The idea of reaching up and pulling out the strands definitely crossed his mind multiple times, but the small voice of rationality stopped him from this. He knew that pulling out his hair was not going to end well, as much as it logically made sense.

He could feel himself spiraling. It made him dizzy and warm, like laying in the grass after rolling down a hill; he had spun one too many times and could feel the weight of sickness building in his chest. As his eyes flicked back and forth in their false vertigo, Sova knew that he couldn’t be alone right now. Even if he wasn’t going to be sick, putting his mask up made his body stop the pain was his only course of action right now. He had to keep appearances. 

Sitting up was quite the struggle but still manageable as his feet planted solidly on the ground. He took a moment to breathe and forced his eyes open as much as they could.

The rolling stopped for just long enough to make the number on his small alarm clock visible.

7:28am

He must have been at his desk for hours.

Cypher and him always had breakfast at 7:30, but the man hadn’t been in to collect him. That wasn’t odd, Sova was often the stickler for punctuality.

But a knock rang out, solid and comforting.

“ Солнышко? It’s time for breakfast, I know you don’t like being late.”

The man tried to say “come in” or “help” or anything , but all that came out was a choked note. His eyes were locked on the device as the eye twitching resumed, his gaze being unbroken even by the lights in the room being flicked on.

“Hey, hey солнышко, you’re okay. I’ve got you, you’re safe.”

The man was suddenly at his side, and he gripped his arm like a lifeline. 

“Shh, shh. You’re here, you’re with me, okay? You aren’t back there.”

Was he talking? He couldn’t feel much of anything, the buzzing and ringing making him feel like less of a man and more of an idea. 

He was here, he was safe.

He wasn’t there, he was here.

No one was going to hurt him, he was safe.

His brain suddenly snapped back to normal, like a switch had flipped. The buzzing was still there, at the back of his mind in a place that was almost unreachable. His head began to swim for a moment as these thoughts began to move into the recesses of his mind, and he realized that he had to regain his bearings. He wasn’t going to embarrass himself like that .

“Sorry, sorry.” He quickly let go of the man’s arm and rubbed his hands over his face. “That was…” He swallowed heavily as he looked away.

Their first awkward silence.

“Alexander, sweetheart .”

They looked at one another for a moment, trying to read each others’ faces and figure out what their next steps were. The blond’s eyes began to burn again with tears as he took in a shaky breath.

That said more than words ever could.

He was pulled into a hug before he could even process it, the awkwardness melting away and baring the untouched nerves of whatever the hell that was. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything as his throat closed up from the tears that began to flow once again.

There were so many things that could have been said; reassurance and comfort preening for the chance to be spoken, but those took a back seat to the idea of safety .

Safety came in silence, keeping quiet and low.

Sova felt safe in his arms, and the warm silence.