Work Text:
When someone dies, the moon dims…
…but the stars shine ever so brightly
Just like any other day, the sun had set, and the moon was out floating amidst the clouds. The rain was pouring ever so lightly.
The night remained silent, as the young man stared out into the open night, watching his found family bicker away in the background. They were all outside enjoying the rain droplets that fell graciously on their skin, they had asked him to join him, almost pleaded him, however; he remained adamant on staying indoors away from the drizzling rain.
The room was dim with the only source of light being the Christmas decorations that were hung on the tree and the four walls of the house. The man liked the silence that filled the room, he was able to think, to close his eyes just for a second before he felt a cold shiver run through this spine.
It felt enchanting.
Almost as if someone was asking him to follow them, wherever they might be heading. He looked back at his family, they were still out there laughing and running around, but it felt distant, like he was no longer there.
As if it was a memory that flooded his mind.
‘’Why aren’t you out there with them?’’ The voice asked. Immediately the man was grabbed out of his thoughts, as he looked over his shoulder to find a familiar face starring back at him with a radiant smile.
‘’You shouldn’t be here.’’ The man answered.
‘’Answer my question Evan.’’
‘’…I didn’t want to intrude on the moment.’’ The man, Evan, spoke. His voice was low, almost a whisper. The room fell back into silence for a second, only for it to feel like it has already been a decade.
‘’You are their family Ev. You are a part of it, and you need to except it and move on…’’ Their voice was tight, you could hear the despair in their voice.
‘’Hm. What are you doing here Jay?’’ Evan asked. There was a hint of curiosity hidden underneath the solemn façade.
‘’I am always here. Every Christmas, but you are usually preoccupied to realize.’’ Jay mentioned. ‘’It has been 8 years love…You need to leave it behind. Make new, better memories. You have a family that cares for you Evan, don’t throw it away because of the past.’’ The sorrow in their voice could be heard from a mile away.
Evan just hummed, acknowledging Jay’s words. He didn’t answer straight away, rather he looked back at his family. Everyone was standing tall on the thin wet grass appreciating the night. The kids were spread out, running around, and doing their own thing. His sister was sitting next to her fiancé, someone Evan considered his brother even before the engagement. His chosen parents were by the table talking. His pseudo sister and her wife laid out on the wet grass laughing, and then there was Eddie. Eddie was his best-friend. The guy he trusted his life with, the one he was so deeply in love with to a point it was almost suffocating him. They were all there, in his life and not one has left him stranded, unlike others.
‘’Every year, during Christmas, I would get flashbacks of the day I lost you forever. Even when I close my eyes for a second, I can see the blood, I can hear the gunshots…’’ ‘’Evan- ‘’ ‘’No, no, let me finish Jay. Every night it rains I get nightmares, reminding me, terrorizing me of the time I couldn’t save you or anyone from our team. I find myself standing on the drying sand, under the blazing sun with a sniper rifle in my arms. I could hear Malcom yelling at us to get cover. I saw you get shot repeatedly every day. It hurt so bad.’’ He remained composed while a single tear ran down his left cheek. However, he didn’t stop there.
‘’ But this time it was different. I found myself sitting next to your bed. I relived the last of our moments. I saw myself kiss you one last time. Told you I loved you forever. I remember bidding you goodbye, knowing it was the last time I will ever see you again. It was so hard to sit next to you without tearing my eyes out, watching your lifeless body.’’ And know? The man was full on crying.
‘’You might have been my last, but don’t let me be yours…’’ ‘’What?’’ ‘’Those were my last words, my love. I still remember like it was yesterday. I saw you sit there and hold my hand. I saw you gripping onto our wedding rings as if they were your lifeline. I remember wanting to hug you. To tell you how much I loved you and that everything will eventually be okay, and now? Evan, you found yourself a near perfect family that loves you.’’
The silence was deafening. Even his own voice started to feel like a mile away.
‘’No matter what happens in the future you will always have my heart even if I let someone else in.’’ Evan whispered
‘’I know Ev. Now go be with your family.''
''I love you''
''Always and forever''
And just like that, Evan found himself pushing the glass doors and walking outside to his family. He felt the cold droplets of rain fall on him. With a content smile he looked up at the stars and whispered a quick thank you, before he was shoved to the ground by three 11-year-olds. Laughter filled the air, as Evan took one last look at the room to find it empty. He knew it was time to let go and he was glad he got a chance to talk with his first love one last time.