Work Text:
05:45AM
On this day, at this exact time the world stops.
The Earth stops rotating on its axis. The Moon stills. And the Sun dims.
Somehow only one person feels and knows it.
However, today was different. The world stopped, but it restarted almost immediately. Some might suggest it being the adrenaline, others would say the world moved on. Truthfully, right now it might just be a mix of both.
The young firefighter had just gotten home from one of the busiest shifts. The adrenaline has yet to weave off. Tonight, something felt different, however. The night was young and the world around him kept moving, and so did he.
Today was the Death Anniversary of James Carter. A loving brother, son, nephew, and husband. But what made today different? If anything, Buck would’ve ditched Christmas dinner and locked himself up, however; he didn’t.
01:30 AM
The party at the Grant-Nash household had ended and now Buck was back in his apartment sitting on the couch, with a beer in his hand.
What would have happened if he hadn’t travelled the world to solve a puzzle he didn’t even know existed?
Would he still find his way to his family?
Questions.
Questions flooded the 32-year old’s mind.
Reminiscing the past would’ve been something he regretted. Would have made his fragile heart ache. Today, however; was different.
7 years earlier
2015, December,25
The death had been sudden. No one had expected it.
Well, no one can expect when anyone would die in this line of work.
It was too late though. What happened, happened. There were no take backs.
It was 05:45 AM on a Christmas day. Evan sat still at the edge of the bed, watching the time tick by. Everyone had already left, but he stayed. He watched his spouse take their last breath. Watched their heart flat line. He needed to leave, no he wanted to leave. But he couldn’t.
‘’I will give you a year, but that is all the time I can spare.’’ Came a voice. It was his Commanders voice. A voice he had gotten familiar with over the years.
‘’I want to join the reserves.’’ Evan spoke. He wasn’t thinking, but he couldn’t go on.
‘’Your contract still hasn’t ended Buckley.’’
‘’The contract ends in 2 months sir. By the time I am back to duty, I would need to renew my contract. So let me join the reserves instead. Sir.’’
‘’Come back to me in 2 months Buckley. Then we can decide what you want to do. Until then, farewell Petty Chief Officer Buckley.’’
Just like that, Evan found himself sitting in silence again.
2016, June, 28
09:10 AM
The airport was busier than ever, but the sounds still felt distant.
Making his way out of the airport, Evan found himself being engulfed into a warm hug by a much older lady. He had recognized her as James’s mom. This woman had walked both Evan and James down the aisle. Had shared their family recipes with him and had welcomed him into the family with open arms. How on earth was he supposed to stay strong for her, when she whispered sweet nothings into his ear, saying that everything is going to be alright?
He wanted to turn around and walk away, but he couldn’t. Not now. Not ever.
12:45 AM
By the time lunch happened, Evan had already settled into the family home with ease. The entire family had come that day except for a few.
‘’So, Evan, how are you holding up?’’ Asked an older gentleman, who Evan recognized as James’s oldest uncle.
‘’Still processing the past few events. I joined the reserves. Pretty much that’s all.’’ He answered.
‘’Any plans to settle down somewhere?’’ The same man asked.
‘’So far, my only plan is to travel around…James and I had made a bucket list of places we both wanted to visit after our contracts had ended. So, what better way to remember him, you know?’’
…
He hadn’t lied. He just didn’t give out the full truth.
He was going to travel the world like he and James planned.
Except, he wasn’t just exploring. He was going to try to find himself again.
And right now? He felt full again. He was driving through the suburbs, letting the wind hit him in the face as the radio roared out words. Evan loved driving. He liked that he was in control of it. Where he drove. The way the tyers turned. He controlled it.
We’re Gonna Be Alright by Before we exit was playing in the background. Evan related to the song a lot more than he had liked. He found peace in the song.
Raindrops falling and I'm broken
Feeling when it hurts just to move on
Ah
He remembered the night again. The rain was pouring and blood covered Evan’s body, but it wasn’t his blood. He remembered the way he yelled out his lover’s name. The moment was short, but it took an eternity to end.
Driving through the atmosphere
Tell me, do you feel okay inside?
Did you wish to disappear?
Riverbed that's made of tears you cried
Another moment flashed his mind. A much more peaceful one. A memory he had treasured since the day it happened.
James had always loved the rain. He didn’t understand why, but he never questioned it. The memory was of James and him having their first dance under the rain. He remembered the smile James had on that night.
But we're gonna be alright
We're gonna be alright
We're gonna be alright
We're gonna be alright
Something in him wanted to believe those words. He recalled James calling out to him as he took his last breath.
‘’Everything will be alright love.’’
Those words rang in his mind every day, as he woke up.
I was born with hurricanes
Now this fire's burning by my place
Noise of bullets ricocheting
Scared of all the things that we can't change
He could never forget the day they had their first date. It was a winter night, and they were driving around singing whatever song came up on the radio. He remembered the time they both were fooling around on the wet grass when it started snowing.
Their first snow together.
But we're gonna be alright
We're gonna be alright
We're gonna be alright
We're gonna be alright
Whoa-ohh
Whoa-ohh-ohh
Whoa-ooh-ahh
In the eye of the storm we see what we've endured
We find strength to move on
To move on
But we're gonna be alright
We're gonna be alright
We're gonna be alright
We're gonna be alright
He let the rest of the song drown out before he stopped the jeep and got out.
Peru
His first destination.
…
Peru didn’t last long. He had met up with one of James’s childhood friends, talked to them. Somehow got persuaded to try out bartending. It worked out for him. He loved the job, but he couldn’t stop there. He had a goal he wanted to achieve.
So, he left.
Drove back up the east coast. Stopped in Virginia Beach. Met a few more people. Nothing too serious. James’s had always talked about beaches, so they had decided to add Virginia Beach to the list. He did, however; learn to surf. Worked at a ranch somewhere around the west coast.
Then he was called back. This time it was different, though. He was assigned to the Five-0 Team in Hawaii. He loved it there. Hawaii wasn’t a place he had imagined him nor James visiting.
He found a new family that accepted him. Helped him grow as a person. He didn’t want to leave, but there was one person he wanted to see before he was too late.
That’s how he found himself in LA. He was supposed to be picked up by an older gentleman that happened to be James’s uncle (from his mother’s side).
The man was named Red, and he was probably the sweetest man Evan has ever met.
Evan had learnt that Red used to be a firefighter back in his country before he moved to the USA during his mid-forties.
He had recalled James mentioning about wanting to be a firefighter one day, he assumed he got his passion from Red.
Red had a lot more stories to tell Evan about James. Like how James would climb trees to save cats when he was a teen. Or how James had a talent for art as a child, but he had given it up for his studies. That sounded a lot like James, Evan had thought.
The man hadn’t planned on staying for too long, but something in him decided to stay and join the fire academy. He had told himself that it was for James, and that his husband would be proud of him, however; deep down he knew he was doing it for himself.
Red was the first-person Evan talked about his acceptance into the academy. He had stuck with his joined last name, Carter-Buckley. That way he felt like James was still with him, with every step he took into the future.
Soon after, he had graduated and joined the 118 for his probationary year. He loved it. He felt as though he found himself another family. Not even a year later, a few months before his 27th birthday, his shied ceremony was held. The entire Carter family had come to celebrate this special occasion with him. He felt good again.
He had found his family…
…But,
Not every happy story has a smooth sailing…
…Evan’s new life had just begun, but what happens when there are heavy bumps on his new path? A lot more bumps than he prepared himself for.