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It’s supposed to be morning. But she doesn’t remember what mornings are supposed to look like. She hasn’t seen a sunset since she had a normal life, almost thirteen years ago now.
Now, she wakes up when the alarm goes off. She takes a shower, brushes her hair, gets dressed, and brushes her teeth. She slips on her shoes, makes her way to the break room, and eats a flavorless breakfast sandwich made of god knows what. She brushes her teeth again and makes her way to the rainbow room.
The first good thing she sees in the morning is him. He doesn’t smile at her, he knows with the cameras that it’s not safe. Instead, he just looks at her. It’s better than a smile because when he looks at her, he knows it’s going to be better. He knows he has a chance at a life of something besides this prison.
“Good morning.” She says, tidying up some books that were left out on one of the children’s tables. The orderlies continued to clean as some of them repeated the usual morning greetings.
She turned to tidy up a box of crayons that had been left on the floor, and a bunch of crumpled-up drawings in the corner. As she got up from under the desk, there Peter was. Peter, had a small trash bag in his hand and looked at her as she got up from the tiny crevice she was just in.
“We’ve been having problems with Two, again.” He whispered as she put the crumpled-up drawings in the bag. The other orderlies who were helping tidy up the room before the children came in had left to do their other duties.
“What is he up to now?” She asked. “He seemed to have his anger under control yesterday.”
“He was extra aggressive in the experiment yesterday towards the other children. And he almost hit Four before we sent them to bed.”
“Oh.” Her head shrunk. “I’ll do something.”
“Just be careful, please.” He muttered, placing his hand on her shoulder.
“Of course, Peter.” She took his hand that was placed on her shoulder, promptly removing it. “You need to be a little more careful. Can’t have us getting in trouble again.”
“How was I supposed to know holding your hand was a crime?” He slightly shrugged, opening the door to the hallway.
From the angle she was looking at him, she could see the scar clearly. Last week, he got caught holding her hand to comfort her after Two had yelled at her. He couldn’t comfort her when it occurred, but after they put the children to bed, he walked her back to her room carefully. He thought he was away from cameras, they were always so good at being careful.
Brenner found him and shocked him until morning. Before Brenner took him away, he turned to her and said, “You’re lucky I’m not punishing you.” She watched them drag him back to his room, and she was at his side all night.
“How are you holding up?” She mumbled as she shut the door to the rainbow room behind her. “It looks like it’s recovering.”
He brushed his hand over the wound, the pain had reached his shoulder as soon as he did it, however. He put his arm back down and pressed his lips together.
“It’s going to take time, Peter.” She reminded him.
“I’m going to kill him one of these days.” He gritted his teeth as he made his way to the cafeteria, where the children were gathered for breakfast. “I’m going to chop off each of his fingers.”
“Perhaps his fried fingers would taste better than the fish fingers they feed us.” She smiled. “Or anything, really.”
As she opened the door, she saw the children all sitting in their little groups. Two, and his group were by far the largest. They were rash and more aggressive than the smaller children, and with another new infant in the group, it was only going to get more challenging.
“Good morning!” She greeted the kids. “Is there any game you would all love to play together today?”
“Tag.” Three said.
“We can play tag, definitely! Dr. Brenner brought in a new batch of books for us to read today! And I’ve got some new crayons as well. Let’s make today a good day.” She ushered the children out of the cafeteria. They lined up perfectly, after placing their trays in a stack.
“Do you want me to play tag as well?” Peter asked as the kids made their way to the rainbow room without her leading them.
“Only if you’re willing. Perhaps, the children would like to see you play.” Five had kept the door open, allowing her and Peter to enter after all the children. “Thank you, Five.”
“Can we please play tag?” Three asked once more. “Tag and then books and coloring?”
“Of course.” She nodded. “But who is going to be it?”
“Me!” Two said, chasing after Three.
“You didn’t even have to start the game.” Peter muttered.
Six, who was still rather shy compared to the other children. She was new, and afraid of everything there. Some of the other children were raised here. But not her.
“Are you alright?” She asked, bending down to sit next to Six, who sat in the corner of the room. “Do you want to play tag with the others?” The girl sat still, her hands covering the front of her knees.
“Let me try.” Peter offered.
She got up, letting Peter take her place on the floor. He sat down next to Six the same way she did. This time, he placed his hand on her’s.
“Do you want to play a different game?” He offered. “I’m not very good at backgammon if you want to beat me at that.”
“Sure.” Six muttered, taking Peter’s hand, as he led her to the quiet table playing room.
“Good luck.” Peter whispered to her, as he left with Six.
She shuddered, his low rough voice echoing in her ear as she tried to watch the children play tag together. Three was now it, from what she could tell. She couldn’t focus on the kids, only just what he had said. He had this effect on her, a dangerous effect. She would do anything he would ask of her if he would simply ask her.
“Ow!” The loud shout brought her back to reality. It was from Three, who was wincing by the bookshelf that divided the room in half. His hand covering the back of his head, red began to trickle onto his hand.
“What happened?” She asked, rushing to Three’s side. “I need to take you to the nurse's office. Just tell me what happened.”
“Um,” Three looked around the room, and at the other kids who stood behind her. Someone had done something, and Three wasn’t willing to admit who did it and what they did.
“You can tell me. Nobody will get in trouble.” She whispered to him.
“Someone pushed me against the shelf so they wouldn’t get tagged.” Three admitted faintly.
“You must’ve hit your head.” She said, helping him up. “Let’s get you to the Nurse.”
“I’ll get another orderly to watch you all.” She told the other children. “Until then, please play silently. Nothing physical, please.”
She opened the door out of the Rainbow Room, to where Peter was with Six. Her hand was on Three’s shoulder as she walked in with him.
“Can you please watch the other children while I take Three to the Nurse?” She asked. “He hit his head.”
“Of course.” Peter nodded. “Let’s go play with the other children now, Six.”
Peter watched as she left into the hallway. She kept her hand over Three’s injury until Three began to cry in the middle of the hallway. She bent down, blood on her hands as she made eye level with him to calm him down.
“What happened?” Dr. Brenner shouted as he walked down the hallway.
“Three got injured playing—“
“Take him to the Nurse, and then you and I will talk. In my office.” He placed his hands on his hips. “I can’t believe you would ever allow this to happen.”
Peter knew something had happened. Because when he saw Dr. Brenner enter the Rainbow Room, he was just as mad as he was the last time he had gotten into trouble.
“You know I never expected something like this to happen to one of the children on your watch. You’ve been doing this for how many years now? It’s been seven years, and you’ve had a stellar record. Besides the times I’ve caught you fooling around with One.” Dr. Brenner shouted from behind his desk. “I expect better from you, however. One has always been more foolish than you.”
“I looked away for one moment! How was I to expect that they were to get violent.” She cried. “I have never gotten the children hurt or—“
“But you did today! You should’ve known better.”
The door opened, to reveal two orderlies behind her. None of the two of them was Peter. She knew exactly what this meant.
She was in trouble.
But not any sort of trouble. She was going to be shocked, something Dr. Brenner had never allowed them to do to her.
“Papa.” She cried out. “You can’t do this to me. I’ll do anything, just please.”
“I’m sorry, dear. But you need to learn that your actions have consequences.”
“Papa, please.” She continued to plead.
As the orderlies took her away, she did what Peter told her all those years ago. Think of a memory, something that angered her, but made her sad.
Strawberry milkshakes with her father, in Washington DC. After his long day at work at the Pentagon, he had taken her to the National Mall. And they got milkshakes at her favorite diner and took them to the park. He had told her that her life was going to change. They were going to be moving to Hawkins, Indiana. He had a new experiment to work on.
Now she is here. Now the orderlies pull her away, to the room. She didn’t kick or scream, she just cried. The memory wasn’t going to bring her powers back. No, it wasn’t going to fix all the years she had been trapped here. And how her father experimented on her for years, and now kept her prisoner.
Peter had stepped out for a moment, and there she was. He knew her fate now too. Tears burned on her cheeks, a type of terror he had only seen on her face once before. He always had admired her for always being brave, and not afraid of the ugly grisly reality. But at this moment, she was not brave. She wasn’t kicking or screaming like he expected she would. She was allowing the misery to come to her. And at that moment, she saw him for just a glimpse, and that was the last thing she fully allowed herself to remember.
The next time she allows herself to be mentally present is when she is in her bed. Her bed-chamber is dull and lifeless, a tiny white lamp on her desk is all that illuminates the soulless room. Her bed was probably just as old as the facility. The mattress had a sheet and a pillow at least. All of it was white, as was the rest of the facility. She moves her head up from her pillow, but it pains her to do so.
“Stop, just rest.” Peter’s voice whispered in her ear. She now understood he was beside her, pulling away from hair from her face. “You need to rest.”
“He promised me.” She muttered, laying back down. Tears absorbing into her pillow. “He promised me he would never hurt me.”
“And he won’t hurt you ever again.” Peter gritted his teeth. “Not while I’m around.”
He began to play with his hair, braiding a small part of her hair. She used to wear her hair in braids when they were younger. Back when she was full of optimism, and when he was scared to really talk to her. When they were seventeen, they brought in other children, and once that happened, they could only talk to each other.
“We need to get out of here.” She mumbled against her pillow, which only made his eyes light up. “We need to get that Soteria out of both of us and just run.”
“And how do you plan on doing that?” He asked, placing a kiss on her cheek.
“We either cut it out ourselves if we can find a knife or even manage the blood loss or the pain. Or we get one of the others to do to it too.”
“Who could we even trust to do it? And who is even powerful enough to?”
“I would say Two is the most powerful, but he is not one we can trust.”
“I agree.” He sighed, leaning against the bed frame behind him, his hand now holding hers. “One day we’ll get away from here and you’ll never have to see Brenner’s face again. I won’t let anyone shock you ever again. Nobody will ever touch you.”
“I like the sound of that.”
“And you will see the beach again, and we’ll go get strawberry milkshakes, and you won’t ever have to worry about anyone ever again. No harm will ever come to us.”
“We won’t even have any money.” She chuckled, her consciousness slowly fading in and out. She began to speak again, but it wasn’t comprehendible.
“Shh, Shh.” He told her, caressing her face once more. “Just rest, love.”
When she wakes again, she doesn’t allow herself at first to wake up in the lab. She imagines birds chirping outside her room, and the sun seeping into the bedroom. Peter is right beside her, in her imagination, and playing with her hair.
Everything is normal, and not in a lab. And most importantly, everything is good in her imagination. Her neck and arms don’t spasm in pain, and her mind isn’t numb with pain.
“Sleeping in?” His voice echoes in her bed-chamber, he’s standing beside the bed with a wet cloth. He proceeds to fold it and bend down to be level with the bed.
She lifts her head slightly, her mouth slowly opens to process her waking vision. He pressed the damp cloth to her neck, from the obvious red wound. She winches loudly in pain, so he reaches his hand out for her to squeeze.
Her grip is tight on his hand, but he doesn’t bother to care about that. He is just returning the favor, only two weeks ago he had done the same thing to her hand when he got shocked. She still had the indents in her hand from his fingernails, but she brushed them off. He apologized over and over again, but she would just tell him it wasn’t unnecessary.
“God, I’m sorry, I’m doing it, aren’t I?” She said with a whimper in her voice.
“Yeah.” He breathed, as soon as he said the word, he let go. “No, no you can still hold my hand—“
“No, no. I don’t want to harm you.” She placed her hand now instead of on the wound, pressing the wet cloth a bit further. “I’m fine with you hurting me because I can take it. But I don’t want to hurt you unless you want me to.”
“You could never hurt me.” He took her hand off of the wet cloth, and back into his hand. “You can never hurt me more than Dr. Brenner does. Or anyone else in this whole prison.”