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"Mirabel, do you want a vision?"
She pauses as she spies the glowing green tablet in his hands, then shakes her head.
Bruno smiles sadly. "Okay. When you're ready, let me know."
"I don’t think I'll ever be ready."
He tucks the vision away in his ruana and leans forward to wipe the tears escaping her eyes.
"You will be. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but you will be."
A sob wrenches itself from her throat. "I don't want the future. I want the past."
"I know." Bruno kisses her wet cheeks, her forehead, and finally her lips. Mirabel whimpers and chases them as he pulls away. He whispers, "I'm sorry."
And she wakes up longing for his kiss.
...
"It hurts."
Bruno gives her a knowing look but seems to decide to play along. "Oh? Where?"
Mirabel points to her heart and she can feel the ache travel all the way up her throat to her eyes and it leaks out onto her face.
"It's broken, and no one can fix it."
Desperately, with a pained look, he implores, "I can. Let me give you a vision."
She sadly shakes her head. "That's not what I need- I need you."
Mirabel goes to grab Bruno but suddenly awakens with his parting words.
"I'm sorry but you can't have me."
....
"It's on tomorrow."
"Oh, really?"
Mirabel lightly shoves Bruno's shoulder and laughs, "Don't tell me you forgot!"
He smiles in amusement. "I didn't forget. I'm just sorry that I didn't get you anything."
She shrugs, trying to dislodge the sudden tightening of her throat. "It's okay. You're here and that's all I care about."
Bruno opens his mouth to say something, but Mirabel quickly jumps in trying to brighten the mood. "But! I did get you flowers! With the help of Isabela, of course."
Letting her get away with the change of subject, he smiles, "That's great! What kind?"
"Tulips. They mean: 'undying and unconditional love'. Plus, they come in an assortment of colours."
"You did give me a love for colours, so I love it. Thank you."
Mirabel looks down and grins to herself, soaking in this feeling. Just a little bit longer.
Bruno lifts her face with a finger under her chin and says, "If I could gift you flowers it would be forget-me-nots. Or light red carnations."
Her grin fades as Isabela's words filter into her head.
"Forget me nots mean a promise that you will always remember them and will keep them in your thoughts."
Isabela turns, her hair and only plain black dress swirling with the motion. She twirls her hand so that a flower grows suddenly in her hand.
Mirabel doesn't move as her sister slides the red flower through her curls and behind her ear.
Isabela smiles sadly.
"Light red carnations mean; 'My heart aches for you'.
And Bruno's sad and loving face is all she can see when she wakes up.
....
"When will you move on, Mirabel?"
She sharply glares at Bruno, who doesn't react to her anger. "What are you talking about?"
"I've noticed that you've withdrawn from everyone. You sleep more and more each day. You won't talk about me, but you hoard my things like they hold every moment we spent together. You need to move on."
Her anger mixes horribly with the hollow ache where Bruno used to reside.
"How can I move on knowing that I'll be leaving you behind in a place I can't reach?! It's the walls all over again!"
Bruno crushes her in a hug, voice desperate, "You're not leaving me behind- you're not! Every time you talk about me, I'm there. In every story, in every picture, in every moment- I'm there! Even as you laugh with other people or love other people, I'll always be there. It's okay to move on."
Mirabel wrenches herself away from him and shouts, "I can't-! I can't-!"
"Please, Mirabel, please!" he pleads. "Tell me why- why can't you?!"
Her knees buckle and she hugs herself, trying to keep everything in; trying to make sure she doesn't start cracking, to not spill out the dark sludge that lives within her.
But Bruno has always been good at seeing the cracks and repairing them, while Mirabel has always been good at ripping them open for everyone to finally see.
The sludge builds up inside her- putting pressure on her stomach, her lungs, her throat until it vomits up as a loud, high-pitched wail. Her tears burn their trail along her face, and she shakes uncontrollably. Her sobs rip her throat apart and it all still doesn't feel like enough.
"I'm scared to know what life will be like without you!"
Bruno sadly watches her until he kneels down with her, gently hugging her.
She clutches onto him, digging her fingers into a ruana she'll never feel again. Smelling the scent of sand and sage that she'll never breath in again. Feel the warmth of a body she'll never feel against her ever again.
Bruno was gone and she was helpless.
This time, Mirabel runs from the dream.
And goes straight to her mother who understands.
...
"It gets easier." Julieta says as she places a cup of camomile tea in front of Mirabel.
"When?"
"With time."
Sardonically, Mirabel scoffs. "'Time' will stop the anger at people who are continuing their lives like mine hasn't been destroyed? Really?"
Julieta sighs and forlornly stares into her own cup of tea.
"Yes and no. You'll always have that pain, but time will help. Your pain and grief are like a broken glass vase. It was beautiful and you loved it, but now it's broken and painful, and nothing will ever fix it. Then you throw the shards into the sea, and as time goes on, the glass- your grief- is smoothed and weathered into sea glass. Beautiful but with dulled edges, though it’s still glass nonetheless."
Mirabel frowns. "So, the sea in your analogy is- what? Time?"
"The sea-" Julieta says as a small grin works its way onto her face, "-is time, yes. But also, an acceptance of what's happened. Getting help when you need it. Talking about him to people. Especially to your kids- even if they're in their 30's or their teens, they need to hear you talk about him. And I think you need to talk about him too."
Mirabel closes her eyes and she can't help a tear escaping. "I want to talk about him so badly, but I don't even know..."
Her eyes open when she feels a warm hand on top of her own. Her mother smiles sadly, "You have already taken the first step in coming to me- I'm proud of you. So, if you're up for it, I can tell you a story from when Bruno was younger? Would you like that?"
With a wobbly smile, Mirabel nods.
...
Mirabel opens her eyes in the dream, and she feels calm for the first time in a long time.
Bruno searches her face and once again askes, "Are you ready for a vision?"
Mirabel takes a deep breath and connects her eyes with Bruno.
A genuine smile takes over her face and it feels nostalgic and foreign all at once.
"I'm ready."
Relief fills Bruno's answering smile. "Good."
He pulls out the vision and gifts it to her.
In the green glow was Mirabel.
Happy. Smiling. Ready for life to begin again.
She looks up at Bruno as tears begin to fall.
His lip wobbles and he smiles through his own tears. "In your future, I'm not there, but you will continue to live. You'll have the family who will love you as you love them. And you will be okay. You may find new love. You may find new friends. Either way, you will find a new way of living without me- and you will be okay."
Mirabel hugs the tablet to her chest and sobs. "But what about you?"
Bruno gently tucks her hair behind her ear, just like he always used to, and sighs with a smile. "My Mirabel; always thinking of other people first. Knowing you'll be happy makes me very happy."
Mirabel hiccups as he leans their foreheads together and he whispers, "I got to live many, many of my years with my greatest love. You gave me a family of my own, and I was blessed every day I got to spend with you all. I'm at peace, Mirabel."
Meekly, she asks, "You promise?"
He pulls away and Mirabel watches in awe as the guilt and anxiety lifts from his features, and Bruno smiles. "I promise."
Some of her ache recedes and is replaced with relief.
"I love you, Bruno. I'll look after everyone for you."
"I love you, too. Always have, always will."
Mirabel takes Bruno's face into her hands and kisses him one final time. He wraps his arms around her and fiercely kisses her back. Their tears mix together on their lips, and she doesn't want to let go.
She pulls away and says the hardest thing she's ever had to say.
"Goodbye, Bruno."
He smiles despite the tears, and replies, "See you much, much later, Mirabel."
In a flash of white, Bruno disappears, and Mirabel wakes up feeling empty.
And all that’s left is a fragile hope.
...
Mirabel pulls their kids aside and smiles. "Who wants to talk about your Papi?"
They all smile back, waiting to hear every story about a man they all loved.
And Bruno happily watches from his place on the other side.
