Work Text:
Yuri Briar comes into the world on an autumn day.
The Briar are a nice, quiet family. They live far from the city, and enjoy the tranquility only the outskirts can supply. They’re what one would call a normal family; the father a bit too gullible, the mother a very kind woman. Yuri is the fourth and last member to join the family. From the moment he’s born, his parents dote on him; they get him everything that might put a smile on his face, his mother only cooks the things he likes, and his father always carries him on his shoulders when they go outside, because he knows his son loves the height.
Yuri has a big sister too. His big sister is great; she’s kind and nice and always keeps a smile on her face. She helps him when he falls down and scrapes his knees and takes care of him when he struggles with the sleeves of his shirts, which are a bit too long for a boy of his age.
Yuri is a bright child. He has lots of energy and an impressive imagination. He’s very talkative, and he’s not afraid to interact with strangers. He likes discovering new things and sharing them with his parents and sister.
The first thing Yuri Briar gets to know as a child is love.
He loves his family.
When the war starts in Ostania, he’s just reached 120 centimeters of height. He doesn’t think much of it; he’s simply too young to get the concept.
When the war takes his father first and his mother then, he’s eight years old, and he understands just enough to know this is the end of their family life spent in serenity. He cries himself hoarse; he clings to his sister until his head hurts and his throat burns and he passes out from exhaustion.
At only eight years old, Yuri Briar knows grief.
He gets to know terror, too. It’s not the fear that gripped him when his father first went missing, no; it’s the terror that only grows when he looks at his big sister now - her eyes devoid of any emotion as she stares at their parents’ coffins - and realizes she’s the only one he has left. The war has killed and torn several of their comforts off, but Yuri still has his big sis to lose. And no matter how much he clings to her and cries on her lap, his big sister always just holds him through it; her fingers slide through his hair and her voice whispers sweet reassurances in his ears, until he’s too spent to go on and falls asleep right where he is. Yuri is scared, but his big sis is here for him. And she’s here to stay; she promised him. Even without their parents— even without their house— even now, his big sis will know what to do, surely. Big sis will take care of everything.
And she does. She picks up several jobs at once, and gets Yuri not to drop school like she was thinking of doing herself. She manages three jobs, her own homework and house-chores; she helps Yuri throughout the day, and picks him up from school when he’s done. Yuri has no books other than the book he uses to take notes, but that can’t be helped; even with his sister doing backhanded jobs and dealing with sketchy employers, they still have barely enough to afford food on their table. However, Yuri is not unhappy. His big sis always has a head pat for him at least, and she’s always so proud of him for the littlest things, no matter how small his feats are. Even without the luxuries that are considered normal— even without normalcy altogether— Yuri is never unloved. Yor kisses him goodmorning and goodnight when she’s home, and she listens to him when he wants her to. She always has a smile and a comforting word for him, even if she works herself to the bone. No, Yuri is never unhappy. His big sis is the coolest big sis in the world after all.
When Yuri is ten years old, Yor picks up a new job.
She doesn’t tell him anything about it, but he knows she did because she looks happier, steadier, in a way. Like a massive weight has finally been put off her shoulders. She also gets home with huge paychecks she never got before.
“Yuri! Look at this, isn’t this the encyclopedia you wanted? I finally got to buy it for you!”
She beams at him, and he can’t help the tears that escape his eyes at the sight of his big sis all bloodied and clearly hurt. He’s happy about the encyclopedia, of course he is; still, there’s something else in there, making his heart clench and his throat dry.
At ten years old, Yuri knows immense, bottomless worry.
Yor dropped out immediately after finishing middle school, so that she could keep taking care of her brother and keep working her jobs. Now, she only works one job - Yuri knows because she seems to have more time for him - but it looks to be the sketchiest job she’s ever had in her way too long career. She always comes home wounded and bloodied, and while her paychecks’ value increases, the light in her eyes gets dimmer and dimmer. When she first took this job, she looked relieved; now it looks like another kind of weight, even bigger than the previous, has made its home in her heart and mind. Something dark and heavy and unspoken. Yuri doesn’t understand what’s wrong, he doesn’t know how to help. Yor won’t tell him. The few friends she made at school have either forsaken her or forgotten about her. It breaks his heart.
At ten years old, Yuri decides he wants to protect his big sis.
Because she’s done so much for him— because she’s dedicated her whole life to him— Yuri will do just the same. When he’ll be all grown up, Yuri will take care of his big sis. He’ll work three— no, four jobs; and they’ll get rich and he’ll buy her the biggest apple pie in the world. And then they’re going to be happy, both of them, and they’ll be together forever.
He reaches thirteen year old of age.
At school, he makes a few friends. He keeps growing up, bit by bit, and he’s almost as tall as his sister now. Yor looks at him with pride; every time she does, his chest swells and tightens like his heart is going to burst. He keeps learning new things, things he wants to share with his big sis, so that, even if she dropped out, she gets to learn with him; so that she gets to keep the “normal pace” a girl of her age should have.
His teachers respect him greatly too. He’s the first of his class, so, naturally, they pay more attention to him than they do to the other kids. They expect a lot of him too, but even with the pressure that comes with expectations, Yuri is happy. They’re proud of him and they always say that whatever he decides to do in the future, he’ll succeed for sure— because they’ll support him through it.
Yuri believes them wholeheartedly.
For the first time, he has other people, adults, caring about him. People that will support him; they said it themselves. He couldn’t ask for more.
His friends are— okay, he guesses. They joke around and they have their fun; they’re at that age where the main topics are sex and smoke and other things Yuri is not interested in the slightest— but they’re okay, he thinks. He just doesn’t want to worry his sister any further, so he tries to fit in as much as he can. And even though he doesn’t speak of the topics itself, because he really doesn’t get what all the fuss is about, he still has to listen. And, most of the time, it’s excruciatingly boring.
“Have you seen that girl’s breasts? They’re huge!”
“I bet she’s good at giving head”
“Have you ever got laid?”
“I heard she’s great in bed.”
“She’s such a bitch”
“I heard she’s never got a boyfriend, what a drag.”
Sometimes, one of the things they say actually manages to catch his attention.
“What then?"
The boys all turn their heads towards him. It’s only fair, he’s been silent this whole time.
But the question lingers. His sister has never got a boyfriend; neither has Yuri himself ever got in a relationship. He doesn’t think it to be weird. Again, he doesn’t get why that’s so relevant. Is it weird?
“What?”
“What if she’s never got a boyfriend?” he repeats.
“I mean, you have to wonder what’s wrong with her”
“What’s wrong with her? I’ve never been in a relationship either.” he frowns.
The others exchange glances between themselves. They look at Yuri like he’s grown another head.
“For females it’s different, duh. I mean, maybe she just sucks in bed.”
“Yeah, couldn’t be me.”
They all laugh. Yuri doesn’t.
“Why would it be different for girls, though?” he asks.
“Come on, dude!” one of them groans.
“Yeah. Just chill a little bit.”
Yuri shrugs, feeling awkward now. “I’m just asking...”
“What, has your big sis never got a boyfriend?”
“At that age? It can’t be.”
Yuri doesn’t like the turn this conversation has just taken. He doesn’t like the tone they’re using. It would be detrimental to him and his sister not to keep other people on good terms, though; to boot, his sister just got legal custody of him, which she didn’t have earlier, and it’s still a sensitive topic with the war going on. He and his sister need people to have a good impression of them; they have to stay lowkey but still have a few people around who would help them if they ever needed it. Like the teachers said they would. Yuri only has his sister after all, and there might be a time when he needs that help, even for his sister’s sake. If not from these kids, then maybe from these kids’ parents, from the teachers… if he behaved, then someone would help them, for sure.
So, he doesn’t speak any more. He shuts his mouth, and tries his best not to pay too much attention to the conversation.
Just focus on something else.
And he tries. He tries so hard. But the others just won’t stop fucking talking.
“I heard she works during nighttime though, I wonder what she does.”
“Yeah, maybe she’s one of those …?”
“That would explain why she’s got no boyfriend.”
“Haha, no way! Yuri would tell us, am I right?”
“Yeah! I know I would pay big money to get a taste of those enormous tits she has there.”
“She always looks so good and proper, I bet she’s one of those sickos—”
He sees red.
At thirteen years old, Yuri Briar knows pure, unadulterated rage.
He gets into his first fight.
Yor gets a call from school; Yuri sees her rushing towards him in the corridor while he waits on a chair outside the headmaster’s room. They’ve probably called her to speak with the teachers and the parents of the kids he’s just tried to beat the shit out of. Emphasis on tried , because there were too many of them, and having lost the element of surprise hitting his first target, he got pinned down easily. Yuri got the worst of it at the end, but he doesn’t regret a thing.
Before getting into the headmaster’s room, Yor assesses his wounds. She crouches down a bit to get at his height, and she looks at him worriedly. Yuri feels guilt eating at him.
“Yuri, are you sure you’re okay? Did you go to the infirmary yet?”
He shrugs, averting her gaze. “I’m alright, sis. Don’t worry.” he says, silently enjoying his sister’s light touch on his head. She keeps a few locks of hair out of his eyes, and her touch is so, so tender. His lower lip is already bloody and battered, but Yuri still bites down on it in distress; even if he doesn’t regret a thing - and he really doesn’t - he knows he’s disappointed Yor. She’s tried so hard with him; she’s done all she could to get him into this good school. Now, he risks expulsion, or suspension at best; all for a few rich dickheads who just like to run their mouths a little too much. Yor told him before; even if someone talks badly about him, a cool boy should just laugh it all off. There’s no reason to get into a fight, especially if he knows the things the others are saying aren’t even true. It’s just meaningless. Let them think what they want; what matters is the truth and the truth only.
That time, at thirteen years of age, Yuri discovers no one cares about the truth.
No one cares about justice nor the reality of things. They only care about power.
When they get invited into the headmaster’s room, the teachers scold his sister way more than they scold him. Yuri feels his stomach turn and twist, the guilt horrible and acid on his tongue. The parents of the kids are the worst— they point at Yor and curse at her about her violent kid who just attacked our poor boys.
How can someone grow up to be a decent member of society if he starts throwing fights at such a young age?! They say. If you’re unable to teach him then maybe we should just let social services take care of him.
He feels it again then. Rage. There’s something else in there, though; there’s fear, there’s desperation; there’s the helplessness that comes from knowing their voices will always be louder than his. There’s betrayal , because he’ll never be truly heard; he sees it in the eyes of those same teachers who said to care about him and who now look like strangers, completely different people as they glare at him like Yuri’s just killed a man; he sees it in the eyes of the headmaster himself, who keeps shaking his head and groaning quietly like this is just a complete waste of his time. When his sister gets slapped in the face by one of those parents, he’s about to step up and get himself expelled for good— but Yor stops him. She grabs his hand and her fingers interlock with his as she speaks.
“Me and my brother fare just fine. Thank you for your concern.” she says, and her hold on Yuri tightens just slightly. He only notices then that her hand is shaking in his grip; he suddenly feels like crying. “I’m sorry for the trouble my little brother caused. I’ll do my best so that such a thing never happens again.”
She bows. She keeps her eyes low and her torso bent before the ones that have just hurt her, threatened her and belittled her, and she bows. She urges Yuri to do the same right next to her, and he does; he bows, teeth gritting and fists clenching at his sides. From the corner of his eye, he can see the boys he’s fought against hide behind their mothers, protected and safe in the security of their parents’ broad backs; they’re sneering and laughing, both at him and at his big sister. They knew how it’d go from the very beginning.
At the age of thirteen, Yuri Briar knows rage; he knows betrayal.
But, most of all, at the age of thirteen, Yuri understands something of vital importance. Something that will eventually shape him into what he’ll grow to be.
At the age of thirteen, Yuri Briar understands that no one is on their side.
In this room, in this world, it’s only his sister and him. These people just want a reason to feel good about themselves, they just want to let them know - clearly and unequivocally - that they’re somehow better than them; that they’re stronger, more powerful; that they get not to care about the truth of things. Yuri and his sister just have to bow down, and apologize in humiliation. Because they’re weaker, and overall just a pain to look at.
This is all about power dynamics. He understands that well; they've studied them both in history and science.
But power dynamics can change. Yuri is the first of his class. And he’s smart, way smarter than all of them combined. He’s not going to let his status drag him down any longer; this humiliation, this shame won't last forever. That’s why— he will climb the ranks. He will become the next big thing, so that his sister never has to bow down to anyone ever again. He will protect her, so that no one will ever even dare to speak her name carelessly.
When they go back, Yor’s cheek is still red and pulsing; Yuri’s own wounds still hurt and burn. On the way home, she asks him what the fight was about, but he doesn’t tell her. Yuri fears knowing would just hurt her more, so he doesn’t tell her. She doesn’t push it either; instead, she focuses on the cuts and bruises covering his skin.
Yuri discovers then that his sister’s love is unconditional.
He expected to be reprimanded, at least a little bit. Maybe she’d ground him like his classmates sometimes said their parents did; maybe she'd confiscate his favorite books. Yor doesn’t do any of this. Instead, she keeps asking him if he feels pain anywhere, if he needs to lie down, if he needs her to do anything at all. As if he hadn’t just disappointed her and endangered their whole family with his useless burst of anger. When he asks her why she doesn’t shout at him at least, she tells him he probably had a good reason to act like that; Yuri is a big boy now, after all, and he’s very smart.
“I’m sure you tried your best, didn’t you?”
After a few hours, Yor offers him a cup of hot cocoa with a smile on her face. Yuri feels so sick he might throw up, but he drinks it anyway.
His bruises start to fade a few days later. But the rage stays.
Yuri gets readmitted to school a week after the event. There’s rumors about him at the beginning; no one talks to him, and everyone seems to walk on eggshells whenever he’s around. Yuri quite likes the feeling. He likes instilling fear like he’s a bomb on the verge of going off and drag each and every one of them down with him. He doesn’t fake pleasantries anymore. He doesn’t care if he has no friends; he doesn’t care if people bad mouth him. He doesn’t need anyone else, apart from his sister. And as long as the rumors don’t mention his sister, he’s okay with anything. If they want to try him, let them try him. He’ll deal with them as he sees fit.
His grades keep getting better and better, and about four years after that, he’s admitted to early graduation. He graduates with honors at seventeen and a half. He gets scouted to work for the Foreign Ministry when he reaches eighteen years old, and he climbs the ranks quickly, until a Social Secret Service higher-up notices him and gets him a job as one of the executives at nineteen. The paycheck is incredibly high, and the environment is somehow fitting the job. Even if some still have thoughts about his efficiency as a SSS agent, he knows this is the right job for him. He likes the feeling of doing his part for his country; he likes punishing evildoers; he likes looking at people from above; most of all, he likes the money.
He buys Yor the best apple tarte in the country and a massive bouquet with his first paycheck; Yor looks so happy she almost cries out of joy. And this is it; this is what he’s always wanted. As long as he gets what he wants— as long as his sister can live comfortably, he doesn’t care what others think of him. Apart from Yor, everyone else is just trash anyway. People just want to look better and feel better than them; they only know how to betray and belittle. Let them try doing that now. Let them try and let him deal with them personally. Yuri doesn’t care if people don’t like him, he doesn’t care if they think he’s too young to be able to see a job well done; he’s the powerful one, now. And, if they get on his way, then he’ll take any measure necessary to get them off his path. He knows exactly how the system works, and he knows how to use it at his advantage. He’ll show them exactly what they’d taught him at the SSS.
Yor is now working at City Hall. Yuri managed to get her the job by pulling some strings, even with her not having any academic skill in particular. She doesn’t know he meddled.
Even with that stain on his school career, and even though she doesn’t know that he works for the Secret Police now, Yor still looks at him with that little glint in her eye that he adores. She attends his graduation and they both tear up a little bit when they realize Yuri has now grown taller than his big sister. She tells him she’s proud of him and gives him a big kiss on his cheek in public. She shows him off to everyone they meet, and it gets even more embarrassing when he gets his job working for the Foreign Ministry. Still, Yor looks happy; and although he knows— although he can see she’s lost too much in the years she’s spent raising him— Yuri thinks he’s happy, too. Her smile makes him realize that he’s on the right track. That maybe, one day, his big sister can be happy and carefree again, like when they were six and thirteen, playing around the woods next to home before everything came crashing down on them. He’ll create a country where Yor never has to bow down to anyone; a world where she can be allowed to be kind, and not be scorned for it. A world where she can be safe.
Yuri can do it.
Even if he has to sacrifice his own time with his sister by working his ass off, even if he has to lay his life on the line to really get the job done— he will do it. It's what Yor did for him, her whole life. He'll do it, all by himself.
It’s only the two of them after all. No one cares for them if not each other. It’s all he’s always known.
Yuri Briar is twenty years old when his sister gets married to a man he’s never seen before.
A man who has apparently made his way into Yor’s heart and won her over.
Loid Forger.
He’s a known psychiatrist in his late twenties. This is his second marriage. Yor and him have been married for a year. Yor has never told him.
Why hasn’t she told him?
He doesn’t sleep the night after the news reaches him. He can’t keep the thought out of his head.
Who the hell is this guy?
His sister has lost many things throughout the years; she’s always been a bit gullible - she took after her father, that way - but the way she carries herself when she interacts with people is… worrying, to say the least. To be plain, she hasn't got the hang of the basics of social interaction; not that Yuri himself can consider himself a professional at it. Still, Yuri knows that people can be nasty and venomous - he faces these kind of scum first-hand, every day - and what he knows best is that Yor is the perfect target for people like these to sink their fangs on. Her beauty makes her stand out in a crowd, and by now he knows all the disgusting sides of human nature. He’s encountered them all; people can be envious, traitorous, liars. They can be lustful. What if he’s only using her for her good looks, then? He knows his big sis has a lot of qualities, of course he knows, but that’s exactly it. Only Yuri knows the extent of her kindness; only Yuri knows the extent of her willingness to forsake her needs and desires, only to please the other. He can’t imagine another person getting to know her that deeply in one year. Yor hasn’t even got that much free time to get to know someone that well, as far as he knows.
No, wait, but they’ve been married for one year. That means they’ve known each other for more than one year. Before Yuri got his job then? Before he graduated, even?
Yuri thinks. He thinks for hours on end.
When the sun’s up and Yuri judges it’s a perfectly sane time of the day to call his sister, he tells her he wants to come over at her place and meet her husband that very evening. It’s been a while since they’ve last seen each other, with him being so busy with work he apparently even missed his only relative’s wedding; Yuri just wants to meet the lucky guy. He wants to make sure he can make Yor happy and keep her safe just as much as Yuri can; otherwise, there’s no reason why Yuri should accept him as a… brother-in-law. The words make him cringe instantly, but that’s exactly it. Loid Forger will be— technically already is, his brother-in-law.
He’s thought a lot about it. These last few weeks, a lot of couples and families have been moving out to escape the peril of war getting nearer by the second. What if the day came when Loid Forger suddenly decided to move out of the city— out of the country, even, with Yor? Yuri will have to make sure Loid Forger is capable enough to protect his only sister. But what if Loid Forger took Yor away from him, forever? What if Yor forgot about her only brother? It’s unlikely, Yuri knows, but what if Loid Forger manipulates her until she does forget about him? He is a psychiatrist after all; they do have psychiatrists at the SSS, doing this kind of things, so he too must know how to do it. That’s a real cause of concern, if Loid Forger does that to Yor. There’s no way Yuri’s going to forgive him if he does. Ever.
Before he begins his work-shift for the day, Yuri has to remind himself that none of his self-made catastrophic scenarios have happened yet. A year of Yor’s marriage has already gone by and his sister still sounds the same to him. There has been no indication that she wants to move out. Or that she’s forgotten about him. He has to keep his cool. Keep your cool.
He comes to a decision.
When he gets to Yor’s, he will act the part of the normal, caring little brother. So that when he meets Loid Forger, the latter won’t suspect anything about his profession nor Yuri’s real feelings towards this whole relationship of his and his sister’s. He will keep an eye open for any suspicious behavior and plant a bug in the kitchen when he thinks the timing’s right. It’s the perfect plan. Something any little brother in the world would do. Totally sane.
It’s only fair.
Their first meeting is horrendous.
Yuri is tense from the beginning to the end, and he doesn’t even remember the bigger half of the evening at Yor’s place. However, from what he remembers, Loid Forger seems… nice. He doesn’t look like the kind of guy who would use his sister for hidden reasons. He looks strong and proper; he’s handsome, charismatic, and he’s a good cook, which is totally unrelated but it’s a fact that got somehow stuck on his mind since he left the place. That sashimi was so good.
He still doesn’t trust him. It’s every spy’s job after all, to look nice and proper and lie between their teeth to get what they want. Loid Forger is a spy for sure. There’s no way such a perfect guy dropped down the sky just to get married to his sister of all women. They even hid their marriage for a year. One whole year! It’s too suspicious.
However, Yuri finds himself stuck, thinking about the last part of the evening. He has blurry memories of it, but they’re still there; Loid Forger hugging both him and his sister, his sincere smile when he talked, the way Loid Forger looked at Yor and wished for her to have a happy life–
No, Yuri doesn’t trust him.
Even the kindest looking man can reveal himself to be the scum of the earth. Yuri knows; he’s experienced it first-hand. Hell, it’s his job.
Yuri Briar doesn’t trust Loid Forger. At all.
But then he gets to know him a little better.
They see each other more often, although Yuri doesn’t even want to. Loid Forger is always home when he drops by Yor’s place, to his disdain. Loid Forger always cooks something for him and offers him a seat on the couch. Loid Forger knows when to leave to let Yor and him have their moments and talk, but he also knows to stay incredibly close when it’s clear Yor wants him next to her. Which is— very often.
Yuri doesn’t get it.
He keeps his hard front and challenges him repeatedly. When Loid Forger clears all his tests, Yuri still keeps jabbing at him. He can’t help it. He knows it’s rude, but he doesn’t trust him. He just— he doesn’t. He just doesn’t. He can’t.
Loid Forger is just a stranger, intruding into their family life. Yor shouldn’t trust him this openly; she shouldn’t trust this man at all, actually. What if he turned out to be a scumbag? What if Loid Forger decided he didn’t need her anymore, and threw her away? What if he was a criminal— hell, a spy— what if he broke her heart?
What if the Briars trusted Loid Forger and it ended up breaking them both?
Yuri can’t afford to trust anyone who isn’t his sister. As much as he'd always longed for someone in the past— anyone, to come and help both brother and sister out, someone they could trust and share their worries with— by now, he knows he’s kept the walls of his heart too high for too long. Yuri knows that if he were to lower them now of all times and he got a direct hit— he wouldn't know how to put his pieces back together.
His sister too, she’s gone through too much. Yuri has to protect her. Even if it's from her husband— her beloved, dear husband, and his sweet daughter.
No, Yuri Briar hates Loid Forger. He needs to hate him.
The Briar just can’t afford to let themselves fall.
One afternoon, Anya sits on his knees while he reads. It’s autumn now; a few months have gone by since the whole sorry-i-forgot-to-tell-you-about-my-marriage thingy, but his feelings towards Loid Forger are still on stand-by. Today, Yor has asked him to babysit Anya for a while as she runs some errands. Yuri doesn’t get why she’s the one running errands when Loid Forger is right there. ‘He’s working at the hospital’ , alright, okay. Still, it doesn’t matter. Loid Forger should try harder to win his approval. If he keeps being so disappointing he isn’t even gonna stand a chance.
“Do you not like dad, uncle?”
His niece’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts. No— not his niece’s. Loid Forger’s offspring’s. That's definitely not his niece.
“I don’t.”
“Why?” she asks, all green irids and inquisitive eyes. “Do you not like Anya, too?”
He wants to say that he doesn't. He wants to scoff and tell her that she’s Loid Forger’s child, after all. She’s just another responsibility pushed on his sister’s shoulders.
The words are almost there, but they get stuck in his throat before they can really leave his mouth. He lets himself think about it for a while. Does he really not like Anya? I mean, okay, she’s a bit annoying, and frankly dumber than he was her age, he thinks. But what could a six-year-old do, anyway? Does he have to protect Yor from this child? Does he have to protect himself from Anya? Does he need to hate her?
No, wait, but what if Loid Forger really turned out to suck and Yor wasn't allowed to see Anya ever again? What if Yuri couldn't see Anya again? What then? Would he suffer from it? No. But would he?
Anya is still looking at him, waiting for an answer. She’s been looking at him for a while now. Damn it, he needs to say something.
"I don't… hate you. You're okay, I guess. Maybe." He shrugs, and he keeps his leg from bouncing, nerves jabbing at him. "If you didn't suck so bad at studying."
Anya gasps theatrically, her eyes becoming comically wide. Yuri hides his chuckle into a cough.
"I like uncle too." She recovers quickly. "And Anya will do her best in school! She's gonna get a lot of Stallæ stars and become an imperial scholar in a flash!"
Yuri raises an eyebrow. "I never said I liked you. I just said I don't hate you."
"Isn't it the same thing?" Anya tilts her head.
"Not quite. But it doesn't really matter." He says, not wanting to elaborate any further. Then, he speaks again, because there's something in what the little girl just said that his brain keeps nagging him about. "You like me?"
Anya nods forcefully. "I do! Uncle always knows lots of things! I always like it best when he's the one helping me study." She says, then she lowers her voice. "But don't tell Papa. He'll feel bad about it."
Oh I'm definitely going to tell him. This is an opportunity I can't miss.
"M-Mama too… she'll feel very bad…"
Damn it.
Still, he's always been the youngest in his circle; even in his line of work. To be seen as a reference point, someone to learn from— it feels nice. It feels both heavy and relieving. It’s a big responsibility, he gets that.
He has to wonder if he really has the tools to even teach a child something valuable, other than school things. Something that can help her surf through life without bumping into too many rocks on the way.
Yuri thinks of the things he’s learned, bit by bit, all throughout his life. He searches for something that can be useful, positive for a young girl of six. Something that can put a smile on her face, just like his own parents used to do with him when he was her age. But truth is— throughout the years, he’s known grief, and he’s known exhaustion; he’s known terror and fear and rage and humiliation; he’s known distrust, he’s known betrayal— overall he’s known hatred. It’s what he knows best. Growing up, it’s just been an endless cycle of misery and struggle for him. The question lingers— does he really have anything to teach this little girl?
Yuri shakes his head; no, that’s Loid Forger’s offspring. He shouldn’t even care. She’s gonna learn everything the hard way, just like he did, and she’s gonna turn out just fine. He doesn’t care.
“Uncle, you think too much.”
He turns towards the child again; there’s a frown on her face now. “I haven’t said anything.”
“It shows on your face.” Yuri narrows his eyes at her in annoyance, but it doesn’t make any effect on her. Instead, she keeps nagging at him. “Uncle, Anya is hungry.”
“You already ate, like, two hours ago.”
“I always snack with Mama and Papa at this time of the day. When the three of us are all at home.” she says. “Now we can snack together!”
“The two of us?” he asks, and she nods.
Yuri sighs. What does a child even eat? He doesn’t know.
“Anya likes peanuts.”
Peanuts. Great. He doesn’t know how to make anything with peanuts, and he doesn’t know how many peanuts she’s allowed to eat in the afternoon. If she gets a stomach ache it’s just going to burden on Yor when she comes back, and he definitely can’t have that. There’s no other way, then.
“How about we go out for a little bit? We’ll get something from the bakery and you can have something peanut-based.”
Anya looks the happiest he’s ever seen her. “An ooting with Uncle?!”
He doesn’t notice himself smiling as he speaks. “It’s outing . But yes. We’re going out.”
He gets up, getting to the coat hanger to pick his and Anya’s garments. As Anya tries to put her coat on, Yuri writes a short message for his sister to read, just in case she comes back first and has a heart attack seeing they’re both missing from home. He opens the door, and he’s about to step out when Anya grabs him by the hem of his coat.
“What”
“Can you hold my hand? Papa always tells me to hold his hand so that people don’t kidnap me.”
What the heck is Loid Forger teaching this child?
Still, it would be a mess if she got herself lost, so Yuri has no other way but to oblige her. He holds her hand in his, and closes the door to the apartment. It proves a little difficult to do so with one hand, but Anya isn’t letting him go for the life of her. Damn Loid Forger, always searching for ways to make me miserable.
When they finally manage to get out of the building, Yuri feels like he’s run a marathon already.
He holds Anya’s hand all the way to the bakery.
Yuri gets a slice of strawberry cake once they get there, while Anya gets herself a peanut parfait. She looks on cloud nine; she fills her cheeks up with the dessert, picking at the peanuts on the top and gobbling them down as a content smile spreads on her face. She makes humming sounds as she eats.
“... Is it good?”
Anya nods with intention, eyes closed and still humming in ecstasy. “It’s the best!”
The corners of Yuri’s lips curl up in a smirk. That’s Berlint’s best bakery for you; their strawberry cake is also quite good.
His eyes get stuck on Anya’s smiling face; she’s moving her eyes around, pointing at things with her free hand and blabblering non stop as she eats. Yuri thinks of scolding her for speaking with her mouth full, but he finds himself unable to. Despite himself, he’s drawn to the way she talks about the things she likes— and, on the contrary, about the things she doesn’t like. She makes faces and the pitch of her voice gets higher and lower depending on the topic. Anya is basically leading a one-sided conversation but he finds he’s not bothered by it right now; neither is she. Yuri has to remind her not to be too loud a few times, and the little girl always just lowers her head before murmuring a oui in the littlest voice she can muster. A couple of women at a nearby table giggle at the pair; Yuri doesn't care enough to clarify that no, they are not related and no, they're not cute in the slightest; this is just babysitting.
But even with people eyeing them and him scolding her every few times, Yuri thinks Anya looks happy. Distractedly, he thinks Anya looks like Yuri himself must have looked as a child, when he kept blabbering about meaningless trivia to his parents and sister, making faces. A warm feeling spreads in his chest and, suddenly, Yuri finds himself glad he chose this place for Anya. Yuri is glad he’s here at all.
Even with all the struggle and the pain he had to face— it all brought him here, in the end. Now he has stability, or at least a semblance of it; he has a good job, good money; his sister is still with him (and for a long time, he hopes), and he can even take his niece out to cake now. This little chihuahua even looks up to him; her eyes shine with something akin to admiration, and even if it’s not the same brilliance as his sister’s when she looks at him, Yuri thinks he understands Yor’s feelings a little bit more now.
Taking care of someone— it is rewarding. It’s a big responsibility, he knows; it means setting up an example to follow, it means teaching them things, keeping them safe from harm until they’re old enough to deal with it themselves— or even after that. It means loving them to bits. Yuri knows; his sister had taught him that. Both Briars were born into that love; it was the first thing they ever learned from their parents after all.
Oh.
The first thing he ever learned as a child. It was never hatred nor rage nor humiliation. It was never a push to constantly strive— a desperate attempt to get to the top as soon as humanly possible. No, the first thing he ever learned as a child— the thing that had survived war and death and misery, and the thing that had stuck with him for all this time— it was love.
His parents'; his sister’s; it was a love that had always been freely given.
That kind of unconditional love only family is capable of.
Yuri looks at Anya now— he looks at his niece. The question he had asked himself that very afternoon pops back up into his brain, and now there’s no stopping it. He wonders, again, if he really has anything he can teach this little girl before him; this little girl who looks up to him; who likes him, even. He wonders if he can teach her anything, other than school things, that can help her surf through life without bumping into too many rocks on the way. Something that can help her breathe a little easier.
Suddenly he knows the answer to it.
The love of a family. That feeling of happiness and security.
If he is to teach his only niece anything, then he could just start with that. He could just show her what it means, first-hand.