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He had worn a ring on his finger for over three years now. He was used to the soft feel of the metal band on his finger, ready to spin around should he need it to. Ready to stay on him if it was necessary, providing him with an option to whatever his life was becoming into, even when it felt like it was slowly escaping the grasp of his control, because it was.
For a few months now, he had worn two. Pretty similar, only differentiated by the circular plaque on his Miraculous, and the eternal love engraving in the inner curve of the other. According to his mother, it had been a promise maintained across the ages, handed down with the love of a family from generation to generation.
Twin rings, that were able to fuse into one like the loving souls they symbolized for so long in the Graham de Vanily family.
Twin rings that were most likely not intended to actually contain a soul, the power to a life and key to an existence.
Adrien wondered how his life would have been if he had never learned the secrets to the ring. The rings.
Unbeknownst to his father, for the past few months, he had been making decisions, choices of his own that weren't just ripoffs of someone else's brain, decided to turn him into a puppet of some sort.
For a long time he had felt helpless every time a decision had been placed in from of him. He had loathed his existence, not feeling it as his own to call it something.
It was a feeling that bubbled down his throat, threatening with making him sick if he considered it for too long.
His life felt as if it was someone else's idea.
The feather was in there, the core holding together a thousand tiny filaments that formed soft blue along. Adrien wondered whether the peacock feather had changed throughout the ages, during the decade and six years it had spent inside the ring
Fortunately for him, Gabriel hadn't attempted any of his tricks in a while. He couldn't decide if it was fortunate for him or his father. Probably for both.
Sometimes, he wished he had never learned the secret to his existence. The first fifteen years of his life passed him by like a beautiful landscape, out of his control yet somewhat pleasant, his mind stuck in blissful oblivion.
With his newly acquired knowledge, he couldn't help but keep on existing for as long as he had to, knowing well he carried the weight of his own destiny on his finger, yet only for as long as his father didn't find out, or try to use his half of the ring.
It was frustrating.
As human as Plagg always had to remind him he was, just as complete and existent as any of his classmates or people around the city, he felt like a ghost of a human, possessor of a human figure yet not entirely bound to the rules everyone was.
He was some sort of twisted experiment, his parents' creation with what he hoped had been the best intentions.
He couldn't care less about the rather unconventional way in which he had been born, if he could call it that, what invention they had made him.
The issue was that it felt as if he was created that way to be theirs. Owned in a certain way, bound to their choices for him even if those weren't the ones he would choose.
He still had the question lingering around in the back of his mind, occasionally appearing obnoxiously as bright as a neon sign while he tried to sleep in vain, tempted to give Plagg his ring so the Kwami could order him to rest.
Were you afraid you wouldn't love who I turned out to be?
I can't think of another reason for you to use specifically a way of creating me that would bind me to your wishes and commands.
I'll ask again.
Were you afraid you wouldn't love who I turned out to be?
He dreamed of having his question finally answered, an answer that was not his mind’s worried delirium or someone else’s words he was using to soothe his fears.
He had everything before getting to know the secret to his existence, and now, well, he pretty much felt like a monster.
Sometimes, he wondered whether the name for creatures like him was right.
Sentimonsters.
The unsettling fear that delved deeper into his mind, engraved like words on a tombstone, further with every passing day was driving him crazy. The sleepless nights out of worry for his humanity status turned into sheer fear of losing his newfound freedom. He had known it since the very moment Felix decided to be kind for once and gave him the ring, along with an explanation and the trail of chaos it had meant. It was all an illusion, a fake sense of stability that he lived in. The thought of being able to have a relatively free mind, one that belonged to him and himself only, would never be permanent until the second ring was secured.
As much as he dreaded the sole thought of the existing possibility of getting caught, it was better than spending another hundred sleepless nights wondering if a mistake could possibly be the literal death of him. If a rage fit from his father could mean having a feather drifting off in the evening breeze, emerging from an open window in the manor as his last moments.
Plagg was willing enough to help not to ask for any type of reward for providing his abilities.
He was decided to no longer be under Gabriel Agreste’s literal thumb. A life of luxury meant nothing if it was going to be filled with a constant threat to his literal existence.
As soon as the moon was up and shining, an unsuspecting Gabriel laid to rest as peacefully as ever.
A few minutes past midnight, a transformed Adrien Agreste left as quickly as he could, not daring to even look behind.
A random rooftop offered far more comfort than his bed ever had.
For the first time, he could rest, not worrying whether he would be flying with the wind, light as a feather, the next day.