Work Text:
Jed rubbed ruefully at the green blood stained into his jeans. One thing he hadn’t missed about living at the Salvatore School was the monster fighting. Without any supernatural powers, he was reduced to dodging and trying to stab the thing when its back was turned. Not only had he been forced to let Hope and Lizzie do most of the actual fighting, but now he had this stain he hoped Ben wouldn’t ask too many questions about.
They’d come back to the school a couple weeks ago to help out with a monster infestation that Cleo and Jen were convinced had ties to the gods that had gotten free from the sarcophagi. Between Jed’s continued studies on myths and Ben being, well, Prometheus, Hope had asked them to come back to help figure out what was going on. Ben wasn’t thrilled about it, and Jed had assured him that he was only there for his expertise - which was pretty cool, he’d never had expertise before - and he wasn’t going to put his newly fully human body in any danger if he could help it. Tonight, he was supposed to just be examining dead monster bodies to see if they had any runes or other indications that god magic had been involved, while Ben was busy beefing up their weapons stash. Turned out that the things resurrected under moonlight and his safe fact-finding field trip had turned into a ten-on-three battle. It wasn’t like he’d planned it, but he didn’t think that was going to fly with Ben, who’d been more stoic and detached with the Squad than before they’d left. All of Jed’s attempts to get him more comfortable at the school had only made quieter in a way that made Jed uneasy. And now he was going to have find him and tell him in the most offhand, calmest way he could think of that he’d been fighting multiple unidentified but very aggressive monsters. His night was going to suck.
“JED!”
He didn’t have time to turn around before over six feet of muscle slammed into him like a freight train. Ben was always careful with him, especially post un-triggering, and he definitely hadn’t use his full strength because Jed would be across the room right now, but this … hug, probably; it felt like a very intense hug, or a really sloppy tackle, was enough to buckle Jed’s knees. And not in the fun way.
“Jed,” was sighed happily into his neck, followed by some nuzzling. Which was mostly unusual because they were in front of people; Ben tended to be more guarded about how physically affection he was in front of other people. And he sounded weird. Was he slurring?
“Ben, are you okay?” The arms around him tightened and there was muffled laughter near his collarbone. MG and Kaleb were a few feet away and looking suspicious, not meeting his eyes. “Guys, you wanna tell me what happened? Did you find something weird in the weapons closet? Oh God, he’s not cursed or something, right?”
“Um.” They exchanged glances, and Kaleb grinned nervously. “Hey, man. So you know how we made that special vodka for Hope?”
“Yeah?” Apparently Hope had discovered that as a tribrid, alcohol had a muted effect on her. Lizzie had used magic and science and some tips from Jen to make what was essentially pure alcohol but with the intensity and burn of Smirnoffs without watering it down. They usually kept a vat or two around for her and so the more powerful beings could get a semi-normal drinking experience.
“Well, we ran into Ben, and he said he was done with the weapons and he was waiting for you to get back, so we thought we’d ask him to hang out. And we got to talking about some of the parties we’ve had here, and he told us that he had never been drunk before.”
That was true, at least as far as Jed was aware. Ben metabolized alcohol too quickly and rarely drank more than a few beers anyway, so at most he got a light buzz. Jed had only seen him tipsy one time when they were in New Orleans during Mardi Gras.
“Okay, but what …” There was a muffled giggle from his collarbone as Ben’s hug turned into more of a slump with him half hanging off of Jed. “Wait, did you actually get him drunk?”
“Well, we didn’t know how much to give him,” MG explained, shamefaced, “and apparently we overshot.”
“What does that mean?’”
“We gave him like, what, four or five shots? And we didn’t exactly space them out.”
“You gave him four or five shots of pure alcohol?!?”
“Four, five, maybe six, who knows?” Jed could feel his face shifting from surprised to pissed, and Kaleb could clearly see it too because he took a couple steps back. "Look, Ben’s a god and twice the size of Hope, so we gave him twice as much.” Kaleb shrugged. “Maybe he just can’t hold his liquor.”
“He is a demigod, Hope is THE tribrid, and you didn’t have to give it to him all at once!” Staying upright was becoming more and more of a challenge as Ben seemed to give up on standing. Jed had to wrap his own arms around Ben and yank him back to being more or less vertical.
“But he was totally up for it! He said something about bonding, and I bond best with alcohol. Or barbecue. Or cars, or music. But he’s like a million years old, so, yeah, alcohol.”
“I like bonding over comics.” MG shrank under Jed’s look. “But that’s not the point.”
“Oh, and you should probably know he broke some stuff while we were trying to find you. He doesn’t know his own strength when he’s smashed. So watch out for that.”
Jed stamped on his impulse to yell some more because he was pretty sure that he knew what had pushed Ben into experimenting with alcohol poisoning, and it wasn’t any deep desire to finally party to his fullest or be best friends with MG and Kaleb. Also, he was getting really heavy and was possibly falling asleep. With one last disapproving glare to let his friends they weren’t off the hook yet, he started lugging his semi-cooperative boyfriend back to their guest room.
In the last year and half since Jed had become human again, he’d had a lot of opportunities to be grateful that he’d been so dedicated to working out even with wolf abilities to fall back on. It was hard enough going from being a werewolf to having the strength of a very jacked normal man; he couldn’t imagine being, say, Landon. No offense to Landon, very grateful to him, and he was a god now anyway. But still. If he’d had human Landon-level strength, he’d never had made it back to their room, especially with Ben getting more and more spacey and unhelpful as they went. At one point, he’d tried to collapse onto the floor to sleep, making Jed stop to hoist him back up and then more or less drag him along the rest of the hallway.
Getting the door open was difficult enough. Ben got clingy again once they got into the room, so getting him on the bed required a sort of controlled fall for the both of them. It took a lot of maneuvering and promises he’d come back soon to get himself out of Ben’s vice grip. He knelt down to pull off Ben’s shoes.
“What’re you doin’?” A bleary voice drifted from above him.
“Trying to get you ready for bed.” A deep, interested hum rumbled from the bed. “Yeah, not in that way, you have to be sober for that. What’re the odds you can get your jeans off yourself?”
There was some movement and then a giggle. “Nope!”
“At least I have a lot of practice.” When he leaned over Ben, he was met with a dopey grin and a suggestively raised eyebrow. “Still no. See what happens when you get drunk without me?” Ben’s face collapsed into an exaggerated pout and Jed couldn’t help but grin back. “I know, I’m bummed out too. Now don’t get excited again, but I need you to lift your ass.”
It took maneuvering and a lot of avoiding grabby hands as he undressed them both, threw on some pajama pants, then got Ben to drink a whole bottle of water, but maybe ten minutes later he was sliding into bed and turning off the light. Ben immediately flopped over and plastered himself along Jed’s side.
Jed smoothed his hand over Ben’s hair. “You know, when I said to try and bond with the Squad, I really just meant, like, talk to them about something besides battle strategies and the weather. I didn’t mean for you to test the healing limits of your liver. Have you puked yet? Should I get you a trash can or something?”
“But you miss them. And I know I’m why you haven’t come back before now. ’S my fault.”
Well that was surprisingly coherent. As well as being generally surprising. Jed peered down; Ben’s eyes were still semi-focused and hazy, so he was probably still drunk. “What the hell does that mean?”
“You miss them,” Ben repeated sleepily, sighing and reaching his arm around Jed again, digging his fingers into his side.
“That’s not what I meant.” But Jed knew that it was too late. Ben’s eyes were closed and his breaths were evening out. Any further discussion was going to have to wait until morning.
Jed carded his fingers through Ben’s hair again and looked around the room. He’d never stayed in one of the guest rooms before. It was strange, staying in a room that looked so much like his old one but with blank walls and stiff, barely used sheets and blankets. He remembered the first time he’d spent the night at the Salvatore School, body aching from his turn, imaging he still had the bat in his hands, certain that if he went to sleep he would wake up back in the trailer park; everything had the surreal fog of a dream. This fancy school behind the big gates couldn’t have a place for him, and in the dark of that first night, he felt more afraid than he had just before the turn, with his father’s body at his feet, Trey’s terrified face in front of him, and the searing pain of his back breaking for the first time.
In the morning, he had been determined to prove that he belonged here, and he went about that in the only way he’d ever been taught - by proving that he was stronger, meaner, tougher. And he kept doing it because he didn’t know what else to do, and because the feeling of not belonging never went away. Only the pack made it lessen. Eventually he learned a different way, and he became a better person, someone who he liked a lot better. But even then, that fear from the first night had never gone away. He had never stopped being afraid of it all being taken away.
A snore startled him out of his thoughts. He looked down at Ben, who snorted, snuffled, then drooled a bit. Jed shouted a laugh, then held his breath, hoping he hadn’t woken him up. But Ben slept on, and Jed chuckled fondly, and quietly this time. Usually, his stoic warrior demigod slept as perfectly and gracefully as he did most things. This was new. This was special. He felt weirdly honored to see him like this, completely unguarded, at his silliest. Smiling, he scooted down the headboard and pulled his drunk, passed out boyfriend closer, and shut his eyes.
***
The next morning was hotter than normal. Ben was still draped across him, Jed discovered after some sleepy squinting. Slowly, he inched his way out from under him, tucking a pillow under Ben as a replacement before he threw on a shirt and flip-flops and went down to the kitchen.
Before he was able to speak, Cleo handed him a glass, stone-faced. “Hangover cure.”
“Thanks. This isn’t a magic thing, right, because magic doesn’t work on …”
“I know. The only magic involved was how I grew the ingredients. Did you know that Ben broke my easel last night?”
Jed winced. “We’ll get you a new one.”
“Yes, you will.” Cleo held his gaze for a few seconds, and for those few seconds Jed wanted to both burrow through the Earth and die, and drag Ben out here to be glared at too. Then she smiled. “Tell Ben I hope this helps, and to hold his nose when he drinks it. I am not sure what it will taste like without magic, but I do not think it will be good.”
Jed thanked her again, before hightailing it out of there and back to their room. He opened the door gingerly and set the glass down gently. This wasn’t going to be a great morning for Ben anyway, no need to make it worse with loud noises. He put the glass of hangover cure on the end table, then picked up his book of myths and settled next to the lump covered in blankets whose massive arms were clutching the Jed replacement pillow.
An hour or so later, the blankets were slowly peeled back. Ben got up in pieces, eyes blinking open in uneven, uncoordinated bursts, face peeled off the pillowcase, hands and arms slowly dragging themselves off their pillow boyfriend and onto the mattress so that they could heave him into a sitting position.
“Morning,” Jed greeted with a sympathetic smile.
“I may have drank too much.” His voice was deeper and scratchier than usual. Jed tried not to find it hot, not with Ben looked as much of a mess as Jed had ever seen him, which mostly meant his hair was stuck in a couple different directions and he had bags under his eyes and pillow lines on his cheek. Which was basically what Jed looked like most mornings, actually. Still, it was probably the most disarrayed Jed had ever seen him, outside of being dead.
Instead he replied with, “What gave you that idea?” Because teasing was always appropriate, at least for them. He relented as Ben grimaced in pain and rubbed his forehead, pointing at the glass on the table. “That’s for you, Cleo says it should help with the hangover. And she said -“ But Ben had already grabbed and thrown back everything in the glass before he could finish warning him. “Never mind, I guess.”
Ben’s face twisted. “That was … unpleasant.”
“Yep, Cleo thought it might.” Jed handed him another water bottle he’d grabbed earlier, which Ben immediately opened and gulped down. Jed reached out and gently cupped his head. “Feeling better now?”
“Yes, thank you.” Ben closed his eyes, leaning into Jed’s hand and sighing.
“So … last night.”
“Mm-hmmm?”
“Well, we had that conversation about you maybe trying to hang out with the Squad more while we’re here. And you know I’m not against drinking as a way to break the ice - that’s how we got started. But what was wrong with your usual couple of beers instead of what had to be pushing the lethal limit of alcohol? Even for your tolerance level.”
“I may have gone overboard. I’m sorry if I worried you.” He was looking at Jed now, bright eyes full of sheepish remorse, turning to press a kiss into Jed’s hand. It was distracting.
But last night had left him with a knot of unease that he couldn’t shake, and he couldn’t let it go. “You said something, too. It seemed like you blamed yourself for me not being here more. Maybe like you think I’d rather be here and it’s your fault I’m not.”
Ben turned forward, pulling away from Jed’s touch and putting up his knees to lean on instead. Which was basically an answer by itself.
Jed swallowed heavily. “How could you think that?”
“I don’t …” His voice trailed off. He cleared his throat and started again. “Everything between us happened so fast. And then when we both broke our curses at the same time … I didn’t stop to think. I wanted to have a life of my own for such an unimaginably long time. Millenia on a rock and then in an endless void. Then I met you.” He looked over at Jed. “And I knew I wanted to be with you, wherever that was. But when you were unsure, I pushed. I’ve come to regret that because I saw how restless you’ve been the past few months, and since we’ve come back here, you’ve settled.” He grabbed Jed’s where it lay on the bed and squeezed. “I’m sorry that I didn’t see that you missed the school so much, Jed. Trying to get along better with your friends was the least that I could do.”
“Okay, there’s clearly a lot we need to talk about.” Jed licked his now very dry lips, trying to figure out where to even start. “I never thought you pushed me, first of all. I mean, I was barely looking after the pack, I spent most of my free time with you instead of my friends - I had a foot out the door anyway. And yeah, you were pretty clearly more interested in leaving than staying, but I was too. So I guess I never asked why. Or why you’re still distant from people. Except for me, obviously, and Finch sometimes.”
Ben ran his thumb across the back of Jed’s hand. “I was gone when Ashur got sick because I was defending my village. He was sick for days and none of the villagers went to see if he was alright in all that time. I gave them magic and they abused it, and when I was cursed and bound, none of them attempted to help me.”
Jed frowned and scooted closer. “I’m so sorry.”
Ben shook his head. “I want you to understand this is not about your friends. I like them. I will fight alongside them. But I’m not ready to trust them. I’m working it on it, but I’m not there yet.”
There was a moment of quiet between them as Jed absorbed it all. He turned his hand over so that they were palm-to-palm and gently squeezed.
“Werewolves like packs. Even un-triggered, it’s an instinctual thing. So leaving was … an adjustment. And yeah, I think I wanted you to get along better with the Squad because I like knowing that I can come back here. That I still have a pack.” Jed sighed and stroked his thumb along Ben’s hand for comfort. “I’ve never had a place that I fit in, I guess. My pack growing up was cruel because my dad was cruel. And then I came here, and I became Alpha in less than two years, and it’s kinda hard to be one of the wolves when you’re the leader, and it’s not like I was nice and making friends anyway. Even with the Squad, I wasn’t exactly that close to all of them, not outside of the save-the-world stuff. But it’s as close as I got before you.”
Ben smiled his half-smile, one corner of his mouth tucked away, and his eyes softened.
“I need you to know that you didn’t push me into anything and you're not keeping me from anything. That I chose our life together because it’s good for me. You’re good for me. I’ve never felt this comfortable or safe before you. Sometimes I want to come back here, because this was my home and because my friends are always going to be important to me. And maybe I wanted you to try hanging out with them so you’d like being here whenever we do come back. But that doesn’t mean I want to stay. Everyone else may have stuck around so far, but that won’t last forever. I kinda outgrew this place, or at least the way things used to be, and a lot of them will too. I just did if first, and I don't want to go back to how it was before.”
“Oh.” Ben was looking sheepish again, but in a happy way this time.
“So you don't have to bond with my friends yet if you're not ready. And never, ever think that me missing this place sometimes means I want the life we’re building any less. Because I am just as in this as you are.”
“Good,” Ben said, quiet but fierce, before reaching out and pulling Jed to him. He went easily, laughing a little, before it was kissed away, Ben guiding him down to the bed. He pulled away only briefly to murmur, “I love you,” because he thought Ben needed to hear it, and because he needed to hear “I love you, too” whispered back.
***
“So why me?” He asked later, his head rested against Ben’s shoulder as Ben returned the favor from the night before and ran his hands through Jed’s hair.
“What do you mean?”
“Why did you trust me? I mean, I know you were attracted to me instantly and everything, I was totally irresistible to you,” Ben chuckled and gave a his hair a tug in reproach, “but it was more than that. You never hid stuff from me, terrible raise-your-dad plan aside. You didn’t try to not get emotionally attached. Why?”
“I don’t know. I think maybe I’d been alone for so long that I wanted to open to someone, and it didn’t take long for me to know you were worth taking that chance on. And you risked yourself to help me from the moment you met me. No one had ever done something like that for me before.” He smoothed his other hand down Jed’s arm, lacing their fingers together. “I wasn’t the only one though. Why did you tell me about how you triggered your curse when you hadn’t told your friends?”
“Because I knew I could, I guess. Or I hoped I could. After the clown, I had to tell someone and I guess … you’re the only one I wanted to know. I don’t have a good answer either, really. Except that I also thought you were completely irresistible.” Which was only half a joke.
Ben hummed smugly, clearly realizing that Jed meant it and pleased with himself. He used the hand in Jed’s hair to pull him up for a kiss, slow and deep and warm. It was the kind of kiss that wasn’t leading anywhere yet, but was no less passionate for it, and no less sweet and loving despite their open mouths and wandering hands. Nobody had ever kissed Jed like this before Ben, and it was addicting.
He’d gotten used to days like this on campsites, in their RV or caravan, where they just stayed close and wrapped up in each other. It felt different at the school, more like he was getting away with something; like he should be helping the pack or the Squad or even doing homework, not that he ever did much when he was actually a student. Some small part of him itched to get up again and find out who needed help and how he could be useful.
More of him wanted to stay right where he was. He couldn’t help the weird ingrained response this place had on him, but he didn’t have to give into it. He could let this place and his friends be important to him without giving up what he’d built with Ben and the things he loved most about it. So until someone came banging down his door with an emergency, the school’s problems could wait. It was Saturday, after all, and his boyfriend was kissing him.
“Ben,” he said a few minutes later when they took a breather, faces still close and Ben’s hand tracing patterns on the back of his neck.
“Yes?”
He nudged Ben’s nose with his own and smirked. “So now that we know you can get drunk, next time it’s gonna be with me, right?”