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Hiccup was going to tell Erland today.
After a few more weeks of pondering - and Camicazi basically threatening to tell the man herself - he was going to confess. It was terrifying: it was exhilarating. Like flying with Toothless, although this time nobody would be there to catch him if he fell, Hiccup would have to power through this alone.
Erland was coming to Dragon’s Edge, the name Hiccup had chosen for his island. The man felt a bit guilty about Erland needing to sail so far to visit him, but Hiccup couldn’t set foot on Berk, not now, possibly never again. Erland seemed more than understanding though, just as excited to see Hiccup as Hiccup was to see him.
The two had fallen into a bit of a routine in the past few months - though it felt like an eternity; Hiccup couldn’t imagine a time where Erland wasn’t in his life when he wasn’t waiting for a letter or ship to sail into the rickety dock he had built. He knew that Erland had practically been a stranger for a while, he was new to Berk after fleeing from the mainland country, and had all but been forced to confront Hiccup. Hiccup hadn’t thought that Berk would actually send a man as his suitor - they were still a tad bit old-fashioned, much more so than other islands Hiccup had visited - and he most definitely didn’t think he would experience feelings for the suitor.
But the man was Erland and Erland was perfection.
He was the night sky that Hiccup adored staring up at when he and Toothless took night flights. He was the feeling of worn leather and the smell of a raging forge. Erland was home in a different sort of way.
For years the only home that Hiccup had was with dragons - human interaction wasn’t particularly his forté. But he loved it. He loved hearing from visiting dragons, the stories they had to tell. Most of all he loved Toothless, the only thing close to family Hiccup truly had. Friends were one thing, and his mother - though they were still somewhat estranged, Toothless was on a completely different level. The dragon knew Hiccup more than he knew himself sometimes; he had heard the tales of what Berk had done to Hiccup, what the people had done to him - his own father. Toothless had betrayed not one but two Alphas for Hiccup.
They were two halves of a whole.
But Toothless was sharing his human half with Erland; the dragon thoroughly approved of the man.
Toothless saw the ways the two men looked at each other, the hushed whispers in Norse, and of course the fleeting touches. He would roll his eyes whenever one of them would jump away from the other, afraid they had crossed a line. Sometimes there was an upside to being the only Night Fury left - at least he didn’t have to go through that dreadful courting. Hiccup and Erland could be so utterly oblivious to each other’s advances.
Now the plan was in action though, Hiccup was down at the dock helping Erland tether his boat. It was a small, somewhat rickety, thing - the perfectly average sort of boat that nobody would notice was missing.
Erland placed a hand on Hiccup's shoulder as he steadied himself - at least now Hiccup was used to the other’s presence. He didn’t light up like a fire when Erland so much as looked at him.
It was a gorgeous night, they went flying together, Toothless sometimes messing with the two of them in a good-natured way. The night was warm and clear, absolutely stunning. Pods of Scauldrons and Thunderdrums were swimming through the sea, sometimes leaping out of the water and spraying the two with a salty sea mist.
As the flight continued, Hiccup knew that it would have to draw to a close, but he was anxious. When they landed again he would need to actually say something - that was the point of this visit, now that Erland knew that of course.
When they finally touched the ground again, Hiccup was quick to unbuckle the saddle from Toothless’ back, “I’m going to tell him tonight.”
“Sure you will.”
“Toothless, please, can’t I get a little bit of support?” Toothless scoffed at him, as well as a dragon, can scoff, “You’ll get my support in the morning if you actually do it.” With that, he trotted off towards he and Hiccup’s hut, ready to settle in for the night.
That left Hiccup alone with Erland. Great. “So… It was nice out tonight.” Erland shrugged, “Being able to fly is always nice, especially when I’m flying with you.”
Hiccup fought back his blush, “Aw thanks,” he turned his head, already feeling his shoulders tighten, “Can I talk to you about something? It’s nothing bad, promise, just… It’s sort of important.”
“Of course,” the two sat down outside of the hut, the wooden boards felt smooth under Hiccup’s fingers. “So what did you want to talk about?” He swallowed hard; he should just say it, get it out quickly and then he wouldn’t have to think about it ever again. Well, not ever again, but at least his brain could move on then, “Ireallylikeyou!” The words came out rushed, not at all how Hiccup planned on saying them.
Erland looked a bit stunned, staring at Hiccup with wide eyes, “Wait, really?”
Hiccup’s gaze fell back to the ground, shoulders slumping, “Yeah, the first time I saw you all I could think about was how pretty you were, as cliche as that sounds, and then I got to know you more and… I guess my heart sort of got carried away.”
He felt calloused fingers brush against his jaw, gently moving his head to look at Erland properly. The man had a smile on his face, a dangerous one, one that had temptations laced across it, “I’m forever glad that it did.” He glanced down at Hiccup’s lips, “May I kiss you?”
Hiccup’s jaw tightened for a moment. Months upon months of dreaming for a moment like this, thinking that it was never possible, and here it was. “Yes.”
Hiccup had only ever kissed one other person in his life, and that wasn’t much of a mutual thing. It was a quick press of lips. Nothing more. This, this, was so much better. Erland’s lips were chapped over, something to be expected, but it didn’t make the experience unpleasant. No, not at all. He was gentle, holding Hiccup’s jaw like he was the most precious thing in the world. But there was a passion behind those lips: they shared the same months of yearning as Hiccup’s very own.
They broke apart hesitantly. Hiccup feared that when he opened his eyes he would be in bed, that all of this would be some hopeful dream. It wasn’t though, because Erland was sitting in front of him, a smaller smile now present on his lips. This was real.
“I’ve been wanting to do that for what felt like an eternity.” Hiccup laughed, “As did I.”
The two stayed like that for a few moments, relishing in the feeling of that kiss.
“Hiccup,” Erland sat straighter, holding the other’s hands now, “I know our circumstances will make this difficult, but it doesn’t matter to me. I want to be with you. I want to be yours and you mine.”
Hiccup looked up at the man, his eyes were glossy with tears that he was fighting back, “I would want nothing less.” He placed a fleeting kiss to Erland’s lips, “But you’re right, it’ll be difficult.” He bit his lip, “I can’t return to Berk, the people there… They don’t want me. Stoick doesn’t want me. He probably thinks he does, with his suitors and all that, but we will never see eye to eye.”
Erland brushed back a piece of Hiccup’s hair behind his ear, “That doesn’t matter to me; I’ll do anything for you.” “I don’t want to force you to leave your home though.” There was a heavy pause. “I’ve heard the way you speak of Berk, you’ve had pleasant experiences there and I don’t fault you for that, but me? That place isn’t my home anymore.”
The other man brought Hiccup’s hand to his chest, “Hiccup, my home is wherever I say it is.”
“You have a family.”
Now it was Erland’s turn to slump back, “I don’t want to lose you.”
Gloved hands rose to the man’s face, brushing against his cheeks, “You aren’t losing me, if anything you’re gaining your betrothed, but right now, at this moment, it's just going to be a bit harder than most. Maybe one day things will change and I can go back. For now? You still have me, and I love you dearly.”
“I still have you.”
He leaned in for another kiss, which Erland quickly accepted.
Their lips danced together as if they were dancing to choreography, as though this wasn’t the first night they had done this: it felt completely natural for Hiccup to feel the man’s lips against his.
“I love you more than anything Hiccup.”
And he believed it. Those anxious thoughts that had priorly taken hold of Hiccup’s brain were washed away. Not for one moment did he think that Erland was lying, the earnesty in his words pulled Hiccup in until he was falling deep.
But sometimes falling felt like flying.