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Two months had passed since the last time Hiccup had seen Erland.
They had been continuing their letter sending through Terror mail - something that Erland had gotten more comfortable with, though the man was still nervous that someone on Berk would see the dragons. Months upon months of letters and a few odd times of seeing each other in person had not helped the feelings in Hiccup’s gut subside. Not in the slightest.
If anything they continued to fester. Every letter that showed up at his doorstep made him giddy; the few and far between meetups made his head spin. Hiccup couldn’t get himself to really say anything though. He wanted to tell Erland how his eyes were like amber, enticing and mesmerizing, how Erland’s voice sent shivers down his spine. The last time the man had visited Hiccup learned he could play the lyre - it sounded heavenly.
Erland’s fingers danced across the strings, plucking them to create a delightful melody. He would sing songs of faraway lands, places that Hiccup had never seen himself - but the way that Erland described them painted a picture of rolling hills, of villages and towns that looked so vastly different than the ones he had grown up around.
With each letter, each day, he fell further into love. Hiccup could admit that to himself at least. The most difficult part now was actually telling him - which Hiccup had no plan for.
How was he supposed to know if Erland actually reciprocated his feelings? Sure they had met through unlikely circumstances, and Hiccup had told himself that he wasn’t going to fall for the lovely guy that showed up on his island, but now he couldn’t hold back. He could live with himself if Erland didn’t love him back since he had been through that situation multiple times before, and yet there was a part of him that still yearned for the man to at least like him romantically - just a little bit.
But Hiccup was alone in this.
Toothless was having far too much fun embarrassing him and poking fun to actually give him any advice. And really what kind of advice would a dragon give him? Even if Toothless acted like a person sometimes he still didn’t fully grasp human concepts such as this. Human and dragon courting rituals were extremely different after all.
Hiccup most definitely was not going to ask any of his past crushes for advice either. That would be far too awkward.
So that left only a few individuals. How perfect.
*****
First up on the list was Camicazi because of course she was. She was his best friend and had been for years. After they met when Hiccup was freshly banished, they had become closer than ever. Sometimes Bog-Burglar vikings would say that they were practically siblings. Hiccup would have to agree. He had never had any siblings and most of the kids back on Berk had avoided him for a majority of his life, so having someone his age who actually enjoyed his presence - who wanted to be there - was quite the change.
The downside of all of that sibling drama though was that Camicazi acted like an annoying little sister sometimes. This time being one of them.
“Who would have thought, I got married before you.”
Hiccup rolled his eyes, “That’s because you actually live with a village full of people, and besides you and Hilda are perfect for each other anyway.”
Camicazi scratched under Toothless’ chin - it seemed she always gave the dragon more attention than Hiccup. “I would say thank you, but the way you said it has too much sass, besides, you and Erland have been talking for how long now?”
He averted his gaze, “Five months…”
“And you’ve liked him for how many of those months?”
“Five… But! Maybe he wants to stay friends, you know, after being forced into an awkward situation and all of that horrible stuff.”
Camicazi gave him a blank look - one he knew very well - before returning her attention to Toothless, “I think you should just tell him, if it doesn’t work out then it doesn’t work out, but do you really want to live in a what-if scenario the rest of your life? I think not. So, pick up your axe, be a big boy, and ask Erland out. That simple.” She said it with a smile as if it was just that simple.
Hiccup wished it was that simple. Onto the next person, it seemed.
*****
Heather was nice. Their friendship had started off pretty rocky, like many of the ones that Hiccup found himself in, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. They knew a lot about each other and had gotten each other out of some pretty sticky situations.
Hiccup had met her almost a year after meeting Camicazi. Though Heather had disappeared for a while until one day she showed up on his island with a Razorwhip named Windshear - the rest was history.
He felt a bit awkward asking her for advice after… certain events had happened, but Hiccup was getting desperate. Especially after that fruitless time with Camicazi. She really expected him to just ask out Erland?
“Did my brother do something stupid again?”
“What? No,” Hiccup cracked his knuckles, trying to destress, “Um, it's actually about that guy I was telling you about.”
Heather’s expression softened. Despite her tough exterior, Heather actually knew a few things about romance - really, Hiccup didn’t expect it either. She had been a mediator between Dagur and Mala and look how that turned out. Happily married now.
“Oh Hiccup.” She put a hand on his shoulder, a comforting presence, “I know you’re probably nervous about it all, especially since you two met through…. uncommon happenings.”
Hiccup chuckled, “You can say that again.”
Heather laughed as well, “If he really likes you as well, if he truly wants to be with you, he won’t just drag you back to Berk just cause that’s what Stoick wants. You do need to talk to him though if you want anything to happen between you.”
Hiccup ducked his head, “Yeah, I know, just… nervous is all.” He was actually more terrified. The worst thought that went through his head was what if Erland really did try to get him to go back to Berk, especially after all the things that he had been through, all the things he had told Erland. If the man were to do that, it would feel like a complete betrayal.
Hiccup just wanted this to go right though - for one thing, that he wanted to happen to actually happen. It would mean everything to him.
“It’ll be alright Hiccup, and if he does anything horrible to know just tell me and I’ll sort it out for you.”
*****
Hiccup held his breath as he walked through the sanctuary. It was still as beautiful as ever, but ever since the Bewilderbeast had passed it had felt somewhat empty. The safety of the cavern was still apparent though and hundreds of dragons called the icy environment home. As did Hiccup’s mother.
Their relationship was still distant. Hiccup hadn’t known how to feel towards her when he first met her - technically meeting her again. She had been alive the entire time but hadn’t thought to show any sign, even now she was still hiding away from her husband and from her people.
Hiccup couldn’t judge her too harshly though, he was doing the same thing. He had been given an opportunity to come back “home” and thrown it away. He couldn’t see himself living there anymore. At least Berk knew he was alive, they hadn’t the faintest idea about Valka.
It was made worse by the fact that stories of Hiccup and Toothless had spread throughout the archipelago ever since he was fifteen and still his mother had not shown her face.
Slowly Hiccup was building a relationship with his mother, it was awkward and downright painful at times, but they were slowly making progress.
He would have never expected that he would be coming to her for advice about romance though. Besides Camicazi and Dagur though, both of who had only been married for a short period of time, Valka was the only other person he knew that had had that sort of relationship.
Nothing like asking your mother for romantic advice!
“How did you know? That St-” Hiccup but his tongue, he tried not to say Stoick in front of his mother, even if she knew what had happened to him on Berk, “That dad was the right person?”
Valka brushed the hair out of his face, “He was always trying to get my attention, whenever there was a raid he was bound to be right by my side. One day he started singing this song, about how much he loved me, and I just knew that I wanted to be with him.” She brushed a finger over the scar on his chin, “People change though, I don’t know what he would be like if I saw him again now.”
Hiccup fought back tears, for years he had prayed to the gods that his mother would come back, that maybe if she was there that everything would be okay. That day never happened though, of course, it didn’t. Stoick rarely talked about Valka, it was like she had really disappeared forever. “I don’t want to find out that Erland wasn’t being sincere about this: I know he probably sees Berk as his home and wants to stay there, but I just can’t.”
Valka moved Hiccup’s head so he was looking at her, “If that boy is unwilling to understand the reasons you can’t go back to Berk your relationship is not worth it. You must understand though that there is give and take, Erland may adapt, but you will have to as well.”
Hiccup smiled, a wobbly and tired smile, “I know, I’m just not ready.”
“Then he should respect that. He sounds wonderful from what you’ve told me, Hiccup, but please do not beat yourself up over all this, okay?”
“Okay.”
*****
Hiccup still had barely a clue about what to do about Erland: should he just tell him, wait for him to say something first, or some other thing?
But he did know one thing though; he had some wonderful people in his life.