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The video opens with Remus sat on his side of the bed in his and Sirius’ room. He is looking at something off screen before turning and addressing his subscribers “Welcome back my fellow bookworms. For today's video I have a special guest” he turns back to face off camera “wanna reveal yourself?"
James flops down next to the tawny haired boy “Booya!”
“It's James Tosser” Remus deadpans
With a hand on his heart, James mockingly cries “Rude Moons!” he sobers up immediately before leaning into the other boys space “You know you love me!”
“Yes, unfortunately I do.” Remus sighs “Anyway, today I thought we could do the best friend tag because as my longest friend you've earned that apparently” he shrugs
“Sweet! So what's the first question?”
“How did you meet?”
“Simple.” James starts “You fell off a train and I caught you. Or more accurately, you fell off a train onto me”
“For those who don't know: James, Sirius, Peter and I, plus all our friends, went to Hogwarts which is a fancy boarding school that we had to take a train to get to. I was 11, gangly and well we all know how much of a klutz I am! I had a very heavy suitcase and I couldn't really see where I was going so I might have slipped whilst getting on the train”
James laughs before continuing the story “Thankfully I was there and I caught him before he could fall over. He started apologising profusely as he does, and I told him it was no big deal. We got on the train and decided to share a compartment. He was still being awkward-“
“I think I had every right to be awkward!” the other boy interjects “I fell on someone in front of loads of people!”
“I know you fell on someone! It was me!” James argues back “But anyway, Rems is still trying to apologise and I tell him once again that it was fine. First day jitters, it happens. So he offers me a bar of chocolate as a thanks, we began talking and thus began a beautiful friendship”
Remus looks slightly confused before adding “Except you missed the part where Lily walked by as you were having a drink.”
“No. No, I don't remember that happening...” The messy haired boy denies, shaking his head whilst scratching behind his ear
“Really... how about I remind you then. It's what friends do after all”
“Moony, please! She'll see this!”
Remus smirks before clasping his hands and evilly stating “Oh, I'm counting on it!” He then gives the camera his full attention before recounting the situation “So, we were talking about this and that, friends, childhood that type of thing and Jamie here goes to take a swig of coke. About halfway through this sip, a lovely redheaded angel, his words, walks past our compartment. James clocks onto her and suddenly I'm having a shower in coca-cola! Literally sees a glimpse of her once and I get spat on!”
“She took me off guard!” James says, trying to defend his 11 year old self “I wasn't expecting the personification of beauty to walk by!”
“That's a new one. Pete will have to add it to the book”
“Book? What book?”
“Just a book filled with every nickname and description you've ever called or said about Lily”
James’ mouth falls open in shock. “WHAT! Why?!” He asks after a pause
“It was Sirius' idea. So he, and I quote, ‘can have some material for my best man speech’”
“I'm gonna kill him!”
“No!” Remus replies “No killing anybody! Instead why don't we answer the next question?” he asks, picking his phone up off his lap.
“You’re no fun”
Remus just rolls his eyes and starts to scroll through the questions “Yes because going to jail for the murder of your best friend is the epitome of fun.” He stops scrolling, having decided on the next question “Anyway: in 1 word, what was your first impression of the other?”
“Clumsy”
“Yep, cheers for that one”
“My pleasure” James teases
“Well originally it was helpful since you stopped me from cracking my head on the platform but then I got to know you a little, without the life threatening situation and my impression became: dork”
“Dork and Clumsy...perfect pair.”
“Who takes longer to get ready in the morning?” Remus exhales in amusement and adds “Considering we grew up in a boarding room dorm together for 7 years this should be easy to answer”
“Yep.” James agrees before looking down the lens of the camera in front of them “The answer is one Sirius Orion Black III”
Remus nods “True… We learnt very early on that if you wanted a hot shower you needed to get into the bathroom before him”
“I swear I was ready to drown him in his special shampoo/conditioner blend by the end of 1st year”
“Stop trying to murder Sirius!”
James thinks for a second before asking “Can I at least shove his face cream up his arse?”
“No!” the amber eyed boy cries “You are not allowed to cause any bodily harm to your friends”
“Ok” James responds. He then reaches into his trouser pocket and fishes out his phone, shooting a text to Sirius. He then puts his phone back in his book and looks up innocently at his friend.
“James Fleamont Potter what did you just do!”
A muffled screech can be heard from somewhere in the house, followed by heavy footsteps. Sirius bursts into the room, a look of anger and betrayal on his face. “HOW DARE YOU! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TAKES TO MAKE MY HAIR LOOK THIS PERFECT?! YOU COULD ONLY WISH TO HAVE WAVES AS LUXURIOUS AS THESE! WHAT’S THAT ON YOUR HEAD? A FUCKING BIRDSNEST?! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD EVER SAY THAT TO ME! YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT MY HAIR IS TO ME!” Sirius turns around and storms out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Remus and James are left sitting in silence. James is smirking whilst Remus just looks confused.
“What in the actual fuck did you just send him?” James opens his phone to show the conversation and hands it over “‘did you swap hair care secrets with Snivellus? Your hair is looking particularly greasy today…’” Remus reads aloud “Oh my God…” he whispers as he hands the phone back for James to put in his pocket “I’m surprised he didn’t murder you after that! What is the first rule we ever learnt about Sirius Black?”
“Don’t insult my hair but my family’s fair game” James answers
“Exactly… You’ll be lucky if he speaks to you again by the end of the week”
“Worth it”
“If you say so…” Remus sighs “Anyway moving on: What is one of your favourite memories you have together? This is a bit tricky because most of our memories are between the 4 of us”
They both ponder the question for a bit before James laughs under his breath before announcing “You cursing out Lucius Malfoy is always a highlight” causing Remus groans in response. James puts on a slight Welsh accent before heightening his voice a bit “‘Why don’t you just fuck off you blonde headed twit, he says he doesn’t care! Just because whatever bleach you use on your hair has clearly seeped through your thick skull and rotted your pea sized brain doesn’t mean you get to tell people what to do. Leave us alone you bloody ponce nobody wants you here.’”
“How do you even remember all of that?!”
“It was one of the greatest moments of my life! Of course I’m gonna remember it word for word!”
Remus shakes his head in disbelief “I still can’t believe I did that!”
“It was glorious!” the boy next to him praises “An 11 year old Remus cursing out a 17 year old Malfoy, what’s not to love? I swear I even saw some heavenly light start to shine down upon you”
“Sure you did Prongs.” Chuckles Remus “I think one of my favourite memories of you was when you ran into the wall of the common room after claiming you could see without your glasses on.” This time it’s James’ turn to groan at the memory being brought up “Lily witnessing the whole thing was just the cherry on top of the cake”
“I didn’t live that down for a month!” Exclaims the messy haired boy “‘Hey James, watch out for that wall’ or ‘Careful mate, there’s a wall over there’ or Sirius loudly beeping every time I remotely stepped near one”
“Can you blame him though? You would’ve done exactly the same had your positions been switched”
“Not the point” James pouts causing the other boy to laugh
“Ok, this is a strange one: What do you currently have in your pockets?”
James sticks his hands in his left hand pocket “my phone and…” he then searches his right hand pocket “2 of Lily’s hair bobbles”
Remus takes this as a cue to start checking his pockets. He runs a hand over the right pocket before declaring there was nothing in it. He puts his hand in his left hand pocket and pulls out a green packet. “And a half eaten packet of polos”
“Nice. You thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Polo game?” Remus asks
“Hell yeah!”
Remus opens the packet so James can get a mint out and then grabs one himself “So the Polo Game is we have to each put a polo in our mouth and see how thin we can get it before it snaps in half. The last one of us to have an unbroken polo in our mouth wins. It’s stupid but we played this game all the time on the train to and from school.”
James counts them down from 3 and they both put the mints into their mouths. Since the game can take a while the video is sped up for the duration. They can be seen pulling faces at each other and sticking their tongues out at various intervals to show how thin their polos have gotten. At one point that can be seen poking each other in the sides to see who will laugh first, after 3 rounds Remus cracks and he bends forwards giggling. The video slows down before James groans in defeat.
“Damn it!” he shouts
“Janet?”
“Mine broke…” he then sticks his tongue out so Remus can see that the mint has split into 3 pieces. “You win”
“I’m still gonna see how long I can go before it breaks”
“Give me your phone so I can read the next question” Remus picks his phone up and hands it over “What’s your current lock screen?” James gives Remus his phone back before fishing his out his pocket “Mine is a photo I took of Lily at Blackpool. We went on holiday when we were 20 and I took this photo on the beach” He holds phone up to show the viewers the image.
Remus looks at James’ phone, then locks his own and holds it up “This is a picture of Sirius being an idiot but I find it endearing”
After seeing the photo James burst into laughter “Send that to me mate!”
“Sure”
“How’s your polo doing?”
“It broke after you asked the last question”
“Speaking of questions… next one if you please Moony”
Remus unlocks his phone and reads out the first question he spots “What’s your best friend’s favourite colour?”
“Yours is Carolina blue” James answers
“Correct”
“What about me?”
“You tell everyone its maroon because of your Hogwarts house but in actuality your favourite colour is emerald green because it’s the colour of Lily’s eyes. You also like violet purple because you think she looks beautiful in it”
“You really had to expose me there didn’t you Remus…”
“Naturally.” The scarred boy admitted “What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t?”
“Fair point. Just know, I will be getting revenge”
Remus just laughs before moving on “Name 3 things your friend is good at and 3 things they’re bad at”
“You’re good at reading. You’re good at getting us out of trouble. You’re good at giving advice.” James ticks off on his fingers “There are your 3 positives. 3 things you’re bad at…” he thinks for a second before continuing “Football, cooking and walking”
“Walking? Really?”
“Yes. You yourself said you were gangly and a klutz just minutes ago.”
“Fine.” Remus reluctantly agrees “You are good at comforting people, you’re good at football – unlike me and you’re good at making us laugh.”
“I’ll take that… what are the 3 things I’m bad at?”
“Shutting up about Lily, Maths – in particular algebra and catching jelly beans in your mouth. No matter how hard you’ve tried or how many jelly beans you have sacrificed in the past you have never been able to catch one. Which is weird considering you do have good hand-eye coordination since you need it for Football.”
James shrugs and takes the phone off his friend “Have you two ever had a fight? And if so why? Erm… does the time in 4th year count?”
“I say it would… we didn’t speak to each other for a month!”
“I will say it was 100% my fault it happened” James says
“I wanna be supportive and say we share equal blame but you’re right, you definitely started it.”
James sighs and runs his hand trough his hair “I found out from Dorcas that Lily and Remus were meeting at the library to study and my mind helpfully went ‘it’s a study date!’” he begins “Obviously it wasn’t but I was 14 and had a crush. So I asked Moony if he could talk to her about me and kinda hype me up a bit but he said no.” he stops for a few seconds as if building up the courage to carry on “I called him a bad friend and said that Sirius would’ve done it and all this stuff… looking back on it I realise how stupid it was but at the time it was the biggest betrayal ever!” he finishes, wincing in guilt as he does.
“I didn’t help the situation.” Remus admits and then picks up where the other boy left off “I escalated it by saying something like ‘if Sirius is so great why don’t you just go bother him instead’.” He sighs “We started screaming at each other and I just turned around and left. I met Lily in the library and I ranted about Prongs for like half an hour. When I got back to the dorm, James refused to talk to me and only ‘spoke’ to me through Peter. I made it worse by telling him that Peter’s not his messenger boy which caused yet another argument…”
“We decided it best to just avoid each other until we calmed down.” The bespectacled boy explained “So we didn’t speak to each other until a month later. I genuinely had no reason to be jealous; I knew you were only friends with her…”
“She’s practically my sister.” Remus replies “Also I was dating Mary by that point. Something that clearly flew under your radar”
“It wasn’t deemed important in my mind at the time.” James murmurs “I know it’s been years at this point but I’m still sorry mate”
“It’s fine James, I forgave you ages ago.” Remus chuckles “Sorry for my part in it too”
James laughs “What are we like ay?” He looks down at his friend’s phone and reads “Do you know where your friend was born?”
“Liverpool” Remus quickly responds
“Yep.” The black haired boy nods “I know I don’t sound like it sometimes and my accents kinda disappeared which is a bit of a naff one but eh.”
“What about me?”
“Wales.”
“Know the town?” Remus quizzes
“Hay-on-Wye?”
“Cywir! Da iawn ti (Correct! Well done you)” he congratulated James, then turning to address his audience “Speaking of Wales, I will be returning there for 3 days for a family event so I won’t be around for a bit”
“Great, we’re gonna have to keep Sirius distracted” the boy beside him jokes. They both laugh and James passes the phone back to its rightful owner
“Ooh, here’s an embarrassing one for Jamie”
“Oh god…” he whines “I’m almost afraid to ask but what is it?”
“How many kids does your friend want and what names would they pick?”
“Well you said you’d be happy with either no kids or 1 kid.” James replies “You haven’t picked any names because you said you’d cross that bridge if you ever got to it”
“Meanwhile you have been waxing poetic about your imaginary children since you were 19!” the other boy teases “You want 3 kids so Sirius and Marlene, Mary and I, and Peter and Dorcas can all have a shot at being godparents.”
“It’s only fair! Remember any names?”
“You like quite a lot.” Remus chuckles. He thinks before answering “Top 3 boy’s names you’ve said you like are Lucas, Tyler and Harry, after your granddad. For girls you decided you liked Mia, after your mum, Amelie and Elizabeth.”
“And I stand by them!”
“Do you have any preferences on how many of each you have?”
James shakes his head “Nope! I could have all boys, all girls, 1 boys and 2 girls or vice versa. All I’d want is for them to be healthy and happy. I’ll love them no matter what.”
“Fair enough” Remus answers before the video fades to black. It then cuts back to the 2 boys. “Sorry about that weird cut. Pete just text wanting to know what we were doing for dinner. We have time for 3 more questions I reckon?” he asks to the boy next to him
“Hit me”
“What was your friend’s first job? You worked at the bowling alley in town didn’t you?”
The younger boy nods “It was alright, got free hot dogs for lunch and a discount on bowling. You worked in one of the many bookshops back in Wales”
“Yep, I could blow through my pay like nobody’s business! Worker discount on books… I was in heaven!”
“Does not surprise me in the slightest Moons.” He reaches over once more and takes Remus’ phone to read the next question “What would you NOT do for 5 mil?” James pauses for a millisecond before immediately answering “Lick Snivellus’ face…”
“Give up chocolate.” Remus replies, voice filled with fear “Life would not be worth living at that point.”
Handing the phone back to Remus, James comments “Fair point, it is your second love” causing the other boy to laugh
“Next question: If you were a superhero duo, what would your names be?”
“Well we can go 2 ways with this: our marauder nicknames or the word we used to describe each other earlier…”
Remus ponders before responding. “Let’s go for the words from earlier… dork and clumsy”
“You could be Captain Clumsy…”
“I guess. Captain Clumsy and his sidekick Deputy Dork!” They both start laughing at the ridiculousness of it
James wipes a tear from his eye “Brilliant!”
A beep can be heard coming from the phone in the scarred boys hand “Apparently our food will be here in like a minute so we’re gonna have to wrap this up.” He locks his phone and places it next to him on the bed “Thank you James for being here”
“Not a problem my good man. T’was a jolly good time” the black haired boy replies in a posh stereotypical London accent.
“Stop that” chuckles Remus “Just because we all know I’m the more sophisticated one out of the bunch doesn’t mean you need to act all uppity.”
James snorts “It was a laugh though”
Remus shakes his head fondly before looking at the camera “Anyone who wants to check out James’ channel and the content he uploads, links are down below. So yeah, thanks for watching and I’ll see you later. Hwyl fawr! (Goodbye)”
He and James wave at the camera and the video fades to black.
Their phone wallpapers:
