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Noelle gazed up at the blank ceiling above her, taking in a deep breath of the mansion’s cool air. How long had she been in this room? A few hours? More? She sighed and sat up on her bed.
She took a look around her, her eyes sweeping across the statue of Susie; the unsettling face of the plush cuboid monstrosity in the corner, with its eyes that seemed to follow her wherever she went; and finally onto the strange moon shining through the window of the dark, dreary bedroom that served as her jail cell.
Noelle was admiring the beauty of the luminous celestial body outside her window when suddenly she heard the sound of a door slamming open.
She immediately swiveled her body around and was greeted by the somewhat disappointing sight of Queen standing in the doorway, her glass of battery acid twirling in her robotic hand.
“Noelle Honey Darling Sweetie How Have You Been”, she asked in her strange, mechanical voice.
“Oh, uh… Queen…” Noelle tried to pull herself out of her languor. “I’m… fine. What did you want?”
“Well You See Let’s Just Say There Have Been Some… Complications”, she explained. “And I May Need Your Help With Something”.
“Wh-what’s going on? Are Susie and Kris here? Is everything okay?”
“Oh Yes Noelle Honey Everything Is Perfectly Fine Don’t You Worry”, Queen assured. “I Just Need You To Come With Me For Something”
“O-Okay…” Noelle slid off her bed and followed Queen as she led her unwilling peon out of the room and down the hallway of the mansion.
“Where are we going?” Noelle questioned as they made their way down the crimson carpet of the manor.
“You’ll See Don’t Worry”, was Queen’s vague and unclear answer.
Noelle sighed and looked down as she followed the oversized microwave to Angel-knows-where, a couple of stray Swatchlings giving the two an odd look as they passed by. She found herself wishing it had been Susie who had rescued her from her imprisonment. How lovely that would have been, to be swept up in her strong arms and carried to safety, out of this strange and unfamiliar world, back to the life she knew and loved…
She was jerked out of her reverie by the sudden realization that the object of her wistful yearning was standing right in front of her, Kris and Ralsei at her sides.
“Huh!?” Noelle looked back and forth between her friends and Queen. “Susie! Kris! Ralsei! You’re here!”
“Noelle!” Ralsei and Susie yelled in unison, while Kris’s poker face remained blank and inscrutable.
“You’re here! I’m… really glad to see you,” Noelle said with a smile.
“Yes That’s Actually The Thing”, Queen laughed. “Your Lightner Friends Have Been Causing A Bit Of Trouble Around The Mansion. They Have Been Smashing Up My Pottery And Synchronizing My Poor Swatchlings. Would You Be A Dear And Take Care Of Them For Me”
“Wh-what!? You want me to-”
“Yes That’s Right Please Just Fight Them So They’ll Stop Wrecking My House” Queen said with a mixture of annoyance and amusement.
“B-But, I can’t-”
“Noelle Darling Please Just Distract Them For A Bit While I Prepare My Ultimate Secret Weapon Of Destruction, You Can Do That Can’t You”
“Th-they’re my friends, Queen… I can’t-”
But her pleas went ignored as the battle began around her, her three friends adopting their battle stances and the air around them getting colder and darker to signal the beginning of the fight.
“Okay Bye I Have To Do Something Ominous LOL”, Queen said before tossing her glass of battery acid directly into the ceiling, where it shattered in a cartoon explosion, and immediately fleeing the scene via her rocket-powered chair, leaving a loud "Ohhohohohoho!" trailing behind her.
Noelle looked back at her three allies, who seemed just as confused as she was. “Uh… Noelle? What’s going on? Why are we fighting?” Susie asked perplexedly.
“I-I don’t know,” Noelle sighed. “I guess we have to fight.”
“Well. That sucks ass,” Susie grumbled. “Why can’t we just skip this if none of us actually want to fight?
Ralsei piped in, “Er, sorry… unfortunately, once you enter a fight, you can’t exit until the battle is complete.” He readjusted his glasses. “Sorry, guys, but we’re going to have to complete this battle.”
Susie groaned. “Ugh... I don’t wanna do this.”
Suddenly Kris spoke their first word of the conversation so far. “I thought you liked FIGHTing, Susie,” they questioned, the faintest trace of a smile threatening to creep onto their countenance.
“Th-this is different!” Susie spat, a flustered expression on her face. ”She’s, like, our friend or whatever.” Noelle smiled faintly at the word.
“Why are you stuttering, Susie?” Ralsei asked good-naturedly, and no one in the room could tell whether he was teasing her or if he was actually just genuinely curious.
“I’M NOT STUTTERING YOU LITTLE-” She was cut off as Kris ordered her and Ralsei to defend against Noelle’s upcoming attack.
“Sorry, you guys,” Noelle breathed as she readied a miniature blizzard attack against the three, which she hoped would be able to exhaust her turn without hurting her friends too badly.
Snow rained down on the three heroes, but Kris navigated their SOUL deftly, dodging the avalanche of snowy bullets that shot through the air.
“Kris, what do we do!?” Susie spoke up. “How do we get out of this?”
Ralsei looked over to the other two. “Well… I guess we’ll just have to do what we usually do and ACT until we can end the battle.”
Kris browsed their ACTing options, then chose to talk with the enemy. “Noelle, what’s going on?”
Noelle stuttered and began to speak. “I-I don’t know! They captured me, and sent me to this room, and…” she looked at the floor. “Now I have to fight you, even though I don’t want to.”
Susie crossed her arms, scoffing. “Of course that anthropomorphic toaster would make you do this.”
Ralsei gave her a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, Noelle. We’ll figure this out, and then I can make some delicious cake for the four of us!” he beamed.
Noelle sighed as she began her next attack. She sent a storm of ice crystals down at the others, careful not to put too much force into the barrage. One of the bullets hit Kris’s soul this time, however, and dealt a decent chunk of damage– much more than she was expecting.
“Oh! I-I’m sorry,” she tried to squeak out, but before she knew it, Kris was already handing out orders to their teammates. “Ralsei, heal me,” they commanded.
Ralsei did as instructed and cast Heal Prayer, restoring most of Kris’s lost health.
Susie awkwardly awaited her orders from the human, tapping her foot absently while Kris mulled over their options.
But nothing could have prepared her for what the human told her to do next.
Kris pointed forward dramatically, their stone-faced expression as stoic as ever as they gave their next command. “Susie, flirt with the enemy.”
For a moment, everyone was silent.
As Noelle processed what had just happened, a bright red blush immediately made its way onto her face. “Wh-Wh…”
Susie was quick to follow suit, her face lighting up to a strong magenta. “You-!? You want me to what!? ”
Kris repeated their instructions. “Susie. Flirt with Noelle.”
Susie spluttered and looked around in appalled indignation, until Ralsei chimed in with a warm smile. “Susie, you’ve flirted with enemies before. Remember those Hathys in the last Dark World? You were able to flirt with them and help us end the fight! I’m sure you can do it now.”
Once again, the group looked at Ralsei in stunned silence, unable to figure out if he was actually clueless enough not to realize the particularly awkward nature of this request in the context that the enemy was Noelle.
“I-I…” Susie grunted, her cheeks still alight and her gaze fixed firmly on the floor, a stubborn look in her eyes. “I’m not doing that!”
But Kris was persistent. “Susie, you want to end this battle, right? You have to ACT like this if you want it to be over.”
Susie let out a pained groan, reluctantly lifting her gaze from the floor to rest on Kris’s face, which had transmuted from its normal blank expression into something closer to a shit-eating grin. “Fine, if I have to. But this doesn’t leave this room, got it!?” Her eyes narrowed as she huffed, embarrassed.
Noelle, meanwhile, was internally panicking, her mind racing with a million thoughts at once. Susie was going to flirt with her!? Why would Kris give her that order? Surely this must have been one of the human’s cruel pranks, meant to shock and embarrass their childhood friend. Did... Did they know about her crush…!?
The purple girl stepped forward reluctantly and fixed her gaze on the other girl, giving an embarrassed sigh before clawing awkwardly at her hair.
“O-Okay… um…” the blush tinting her cheeks deepened, and she looked like she wanted to disappear into thin air to escape the humiliation that she was being forced to endure. “So, do you, uh… come here often…?”
This was about the lamest and most uninteresting line that can barely even be considered “flirting,” but it still made Noelle flush a good bit. “Er, well… I just got here today,” she answered truthfully. “This is my first time in this mansion. So, uh, not really.”
Susie went stiff and swallowed. “Oh, uh. Yeah. Right.”
It was now Noelle’s turn to fight, but her next attack was pathetic and the bullets drifted aimlessly around, avoiding contact with the SOUL.
Kris once again ordered Susie to flirt with the enemy, and she warily obliged.
“You may want to try a little harder this time, Susie,” Ralsei added.
Susie once again huffed and made strained eye contact with the girl who had a massive fucking crush on her. “Uh… you, uh… look nice today.”
Noelle gave an awkward, flushed smile and replied, “Thanks, Susie… you look lovely as well.”
Susie tried fruitlessly to hide the obvious blush on her face at this simple compliment. Kris nudged her and mouthed, Keep going. It’s working.
Susie straightened her back and tried to rack her brain for what to say. How did normal people flirt? Why was this so much harder than flirting with those other enemies? Why was she getting all flushed and nervous and what should she say and oh god–
“Susie, just looking at you takes my breath away.”
She froze. Did Noelle just-!?
“I… Wow, no one’s ever said anything like that to me before. Jeez.”
An uncomfortable silence descended upon the room.
“I-I’m sorry!” Noelle tried to apologize, but her meek stuttering was cut off by Susie clearing her throat.
“Er, uh…” Susie fumbled over her words, but seemed more confident and genuine in what she was saying. She thought of the only pick up line that would come to her at the moment. “Are you a parking ticket!? Cause, uh, you’ve got fine written all over you!!!”
Ralsei chuckled. Kris shook their head. Noelle gasped dumbly and looked at the floor, trying to remind herself that this didn’t mean anything. It was just a game, a way to end the battle, and nothing more. Or was it…?
Noelle stood up straight and locked eyes with the other girl. Drawing a deep breath, she flipped through all of the imaginary scenarios she had dreamed up in class of her actually telling Susie how she felt, trying to decide which line to use.
But she ended up saying a lot more than she had originally intended.
Noelle let everything out. “Susie, your face is the most stunning sight I’ve ever come across. Your eyes are like glowing, radiant crystals of entrancing beauty. Your hair is a cascading waterfall of soft, silky elegance, and your smile is enough to brighten even the bleakest days. Just looking at you makes my heart swell with happiness, and just knowing you is the greatest joy of my entire life. You’re just so strong, and brave, and beautiful, and strong, and, uh… what was I saying?”
No one spoke for a very long moment. Noelle was ready to apologize and start backpedaling, to desperately try and undo the terrible, embarrassing mistake she had just made, when Susie opened her mouth to say something.
“Noelle, are you a Christmas tree? Cause I want to merry you!”
Absolute silence filled the air for at least five seconds before Kris and Ralsei burst out laughing. Kris hysterically clutched their stomach as tears ran down their face. Ralsei wiped his eyes with his scarf. After a brief hesitation, Susie joined in too, and soon Noelle was laughing as well.
After everyone was done howling with laughter, Kris spared Noelle and the four of them put away their weapons.
Although the heroes’ engrossment in these shenanigans had inadvertently given Queen the perfect distraction to prepare her Ultimate Secret Weapon of Destruction, the Giant Freaking Robot Suit, they were eventually able to resolve the conflict and seal the fountain like they had planned.
Upon regaining consciousness in the computer lab, Kris, Berdly, Noelle, and Susie reoriented themselves to reality as they rubbed their eyes and adjusted to the bright light.
Berdly spoke first. ”H… huh? What happened?”
The four of them muttered amongst themselves, trying to make sense of what had just transpired, until Berdly’s alarm went off and he had to excuse himself for his shift with Ms. Boom.
Noelle picked up her belongings and started to leave, but paused in the doorway to stare awkwardly at Susie for a moment.
Susie turned back to look at her, a wary look on her face.
Noelle’s gaze fell to the floor. “Did that… actually happen?”
Susie blanched. “Uhh…”
Noelle shook her head. “What am I saying, of course not! I didn’t actually say all that stuff! It was just a dream. Yeah.”
Susie seemed to calm down a bit. “Yeah… just a dream…”
Kris, who had just been standing silently, suddenly looked to Noelle and spoke. “She still wants to merry you, though.”
Noelle froze up and stammered incoherently for a few seconds, and Susie, after overcoming the brief moment of shock, fixed a seething glare on Kris and yelled “GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!” at the top of her lungs.
Kris clambered out of the room, fleeing from the colorful barrage of curses being hurled in their general direction, and Susie let out a sigh as she turned to Noelle, a look of pure mortification on the doe’s face. “God, what a little shit,” Susie grumbled.
“Y…Yeah…”
Seconds passed by.
Then Susie decided to do something crazy.
The kiss she planted on Noelle’s lips was not the result of some smooth, calculated romantic gesture, but rather a spur-of-the-moment impulse that seemingly came from absolutely nowhere, a decision that Susie herself didn’t even know she had made, or why. And when the two pulled away, Susie was just as confused as Noelle as to what just happened.
“Uhh… GOTTA GO!” Susie rocketed off out of the room and past the library’s main entrance, leaving a red-faced Noelle to gape stupidly at the door as she tried to comprehend what had just happened.
Maybe she really did, in fact, want to merry her.