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The chill of the night breeze tickles the hair on the back of Ajax's neck, lingering even in the arrival of spring.
It wasn't too cold, just a little reminiscent of winter.
The streetlamps were out earlier than usual, keeping it dark but not too dark, city lights eating away at the darkness. From where he was, behind the nearly unlit school, with thorny blackberry growing from cracks and cigarette butts scattered about, the stars were just bright enough to twinkle. The air was tinged with smoke and flowery perfumes, the green smell of cut grass.
It was... nice.
Ajax's suit and jacket had been shed a while ago, the loud music still pounding in his head. Perhaps going out for a breath of fresh air wasn't a terrible idea, his head ached and it was much too warm inside. His worn shirt settled over him like a second skin, bright lights turned blobs of color beneath his eyelids. With each inhale, his headache lessened a little, and he tries to find the best place to sit down.
As he searches, he feels better and better, but he doesn't want to go back inside. It's hot and stuffy, too much for comfort, too loud. And it makes you seem painfully, painfully alone, yet seamlessly blended into the crowd at the same time. Your friends are gone, either off with their partners or gone to do other things.
As he rounds the corner, he finds a clear spot. He tried to sit down before realizing that someone was already there.
Kunikuzushi.
He leaned down, and his face was just an inch or two away from the other's, so close, so close to pretty violet eyes, noses almost touching, his breath hitting soft skin and-
"What are you doing?"
He almost stumbles. What was he doing?
"I'm... Sorry. About that."
"You better be."
His shoulder is met with a soft punch, Kunikuzushi shuffling to the side so that Ajax could sit down. They sat for a while, staring up at the expanse of the dark sky.
Ajax cleared his throat, trying to start a conversation, but the boy beside him beats him to it.
"Do you think it matters?"
He gets stuck on it for a bit, confused by the question.
"What?"
"Erm. I don't know what I'm asking. This?"
"School? Life? Living?"
"Eh."
Ajax watches his friend pick at his nails, mild concern settling in.
"Kuni, you alright?"
"Who knows? Are you alright? I mean, I hope whatever's left in your skull hasn't turned into mush yet."
He snorts.
"That's rich coming from someone who doesn't think the sky exists."
"Hey! That's not what I meant when I said that!"
Ajax just laughs some more, throwing his legs out in front of him and leaning back against the wall of the school. The stars... They seem to shine brighter now, when he was here with him. For a second, he dreams, and when Kunikuzushi's arm comes up to rest on his shoulder, and a chin nestles onto his elbow, his heart softens and his walls fall away.
He is him. The best him.
Ajax is so happy with him.
If only he could, he would follow him to the corners of the world, stopping only to leave kisses on his cheeks and hands and nose, and when they are gone, they leave together, away from this place.
The stars shine down at them, as if in approval.
"It's beautiful out."
"Yes, yes it is, Kuni."
After that, the pair sit hip to hip in silence, forgetting the rest of the world, slowing down.
So close they were listening to each others' breaths.
This time, it was Kunikuzushi's turn to lean in, to stare.
Ajax's youthfulness, those freckles Kuni has practically memorized, forming clusters and bits, as if they were stars themselves. The softness of his face, how his long lashes barely brush his skin when his eyes shut, dull blue eyes he could just drown in, his lips-
"Now, what are you doing?"
"N-Nothing!"
His shoulders tense, letting go when he hears a soft laugh. He blushes, looking to the ground indignantly. Stupid Ajax with his stupid warm smile.
Kunikuzushi's going to miss him when he leaves, or when Ajax does.
"Do you want to dance?"
"What?"
He doesn't know why Ajax wants to dance, or if either of them even knows how to, but the notion almost makes him cry. He fears he wouldn't be able to let go of the other, that they will stay glued to their little tune forever, and one day, it will be torn away.
This would only hurt.
After a while of incredulous staring, Ajax clears his throat and looks away.
"I don't know how to dance," He admits.
"…Heh. Me either, Kuni."
He sucks in a deep breath. He knows the other's plans. This wouldn't be good.
"So. College is in two years."
"Yeah."
"I know where you want to go, Ajax."
"Kuni."
"Don't 'Kuni' me, I want to talk. Seriously. I don't think I can do this anywhere else, and our classes don't line up at all."
He doesn't tell him that classes aren't the only reason.
"Okay, Kunikuzushi."
Unknowingly, Kunikuzushi fiddles with his hoodie, rolling up the hem and picking at the thread.
"I want to see you succeed. You're…"
He pauses.
"You're really passionate about this. I just want to tell you to stay in touch, alright? Please."
Repressing a sigh, he shifts. This was harder than he thought it was going to be, but he figures that's what he gets for being how he is. His eyes flick toward Ajax's, hopeful.
"Your turn, if you've got anything to say."
He watches him mull over his words, watches the teeth chewing at Ajax's bottom lip.
"Well. Not much. But I'll miss you."
Oh.
"Listen to me, please. You need to stop talking about this like it's the present. You aren't going to help anything with that. And just-"
Oh.
"You're going to be great, alright?! Stop worrying!"
He hears it come out as almost a shout, a shout of jealousy. He can feel it, the unsettled hurt bubbling up in the other.
"Ajax."
He steadies himself, clinging onto the other's arm, sharing warmth.
"I'm proud of you. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
"I'm sorry."
"It's alright."
Kunikuzushi looks up, peering at the moon from miles and miles away. A cloud floats just over the edge of the crescent, smoky grey on yellowy white. Unknowingly, he traces shapes onto Ajax's arm, feeling up the expanse of skin under the tip of his finger. He huddles in closer, thankful for the warmth but too afraid to say.
"Hey, wanna go get hot chocolate?"
"That'd be nice."
When they stand up, their pinkies are twined together.
They stayed like that the rest of the night.
Hands clasped.
-END-