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Akito steps into Weekend Garage, utterly exhausted after a long day at school. He had stopped by the convenience store on the way here, grabbing two cheesecakes for him and his buddy Toya.
Akito’s excited to see his partner, as there’s a new song Akito wants to sing with him, and maybe even cover with him.
“Welcome!” Ken calls out. “The usual?”
Akito nods briefly, and Ken soon brings out a black coffee (which is for Toya, because Akito thinks plain coffee is bitter and disgusting), and a hot chocolate for him, with whipped cream on top for good measure.
Just like usual.
Akito picks them up, his eyes instantly scanning the area, looking for a certain blue-haired boy. Akito finds him, not in his usual practicing area, but in a small booth off to the corner.
Toya’s sitting there, but not alone.
He’s sitting there with Kohane.
The sight of them together makes Akito’s stomach twist.
Kohane’s a fellow group member, always tied up with An, so much in fact that it’s surprising when the two girls aren’t together.
Their heads are bowed together, matching cups of coffee on the table. Kohane laughs and smiles at something Toya says… (what did he say?) and leans in closer to whisper something into his ear.
Toya chuckles (oh how Akito loves his laugh) and looks up, straight at Akito.
His eyes widen, and his lips part, as if to form words, but Akito doesn’t stay long enough to hear it. He feels awfully stupid standing there with two cups in hand and his backpack slung awkwardly over his shoulder.
Akito does the only thing he can think of, which is to turn around and walk away very quickly. He doesn’t spare Toya another glance.
He walks all the way to the far end of the cafe, where he can’t see Toya and Toya can't see him. Akito sighs as he places down his mug and the coffee that was meant for Toya on the table.
He no longer has the appetite for his drink nor his cheesecake. For some reason, he feels kind of sorry for himself.
Akito lays his head down on his arms on top of the table, choosing to stare out the window.
The sound of approaching footsteps jolts him from his short-lived peace.
“What are you doing?” Toya asks, his voice puzzled.
Akito looks around, as if to find an answer, but there is none.
“I’m… just having a drink.”
Toya raises an eyebrow, amusement dancing across his features. Both drinks are clearly untouched.
“I didn’t know you liked black coffee.”
Exasperated, Akito buries his face in his hands.
“I don’t like plain coffee, you know that Toya. The coffee was for you, goddammit, but you were too busy talking with Kohane so I just sat here alone.”
There’s a slight hint of annoyance in Akito’s voice, but only a little.
Toya slides into the chair beside him. His scent is comforting, and it feels kind of like home.
“Why didn’t you just sit down with us?” Toya asks.
Akito doesn’t respond right away. He refuses to meet Toya’s gaze, and stares at the pattern of the wood on the table instead.
“I didn’t want to interrupt you guys, I guess.” he sighs, swallowing his pride.
“Interrupt what?”
“Whatever you guys were talking about… and whatever she said that made you laugh.” Akito says, trying his best not to let his voice crack.
Akito knows he has no right to be jealous, Toya doesn’t belong to him , not like that-. They’re just friends, partners that sing together. And Kohane has every right to sit with Toya and sing alongside him.
“Oh, we were just talking about a song we wanted to sing together at our next event.”
“Together?” Akito suddenly blurts out. “You mean- just the two of you?”
Toya’s expression turns confused, and Akito’s face falls.
“Yeah? Kohane has really been looking forward to singing with me, and I think the experience will help improve my own technique.”
Akito’s heart positively drops. Toya has only ever sang alone with him, because they’re singing partners and they’ve been singing together long before Vivid BAD SQUAD was even a thing. He’s the one that should be singing with Toya at their next event- not Kohane.
“Is that it?” Akito presses, his hands clenched.
“What else would there be?” Toya says, almost defensively, and Akito immediately regrets attacking him like that.
He’s always been slightly territorial over Toya, but he unclenches his fists and sighs. He wants to be the only person that Toya sings alone with, but now, that’s kind of impossible with Kohane and An teaming up with them.
Akito wishes that Kohane would just mind her own business and only do duets with An. It’s nice when the four of them sing together, but he wants to keep Toya’s partner singing with just him.
“Nothing… nevermind! Good for you two!” Akito says brightly, a fake smile plastered on his face.
He’s happy for Toya, really, but why can’t he just sing with him? Is he not good enough? Has he become too boring for his best friend?
“Akito… is something bothering you?” Toya asks, his eyebrows furrowed slightly.
“No! Not at all, why would I be bothered?” he says nonchalantly, putting on his best unbothered face. But Toya has always been really good at reading him and seeing through his lies.
Luckily for Akito, he doesn’t push it.
He watches as Toya gingerly brings the untouched cup of coffee up to his lips, taking a sip before setting it back down.
Toya’s hands are large and long fingered, unlike his own, which are smaller and calloused from years of playing sports.
Everything about Toya is pretty and balanced and perfectly proportioned. Everything.
“Akito, you’re staring.” Toya says quietly, a faint blush dusting his cheeks.
“Sorry… I got kind of lost in my thoughts for a second.” Akito says, releasing the breath he didn’t know he was holding.
Toya turns the prettiest shade of reddish-pink, and Akito’s heart clenches painfully. Akito wishes he had the courage to ask Toya if he liked Kohane romantically, and if he didn’t, then would he like to be with Akito romantically?
(Akito, what the hell are you thinking right now!?)
The thing is, Toya means too much to Akito to risk rejection. They’re singing partners, but they’re also best friends. Toya’s the reason Akito has something to look forward to each day, and the reason he works so hard practicing and performing.
Akito really wants to surpass RAD WEEKEND, but only if Toya’s by his side when he does it.
Akito would hate it if he confessed his growing feelings to Toya and he was horrified. He doesn’t want to think about what would happen between them after that, and what would happen between Vivid BAD SQUAD as a result.
(Then again… what if Toya feels the same way?)
Akito shoves the thought out of his head.
An has told him that the part of the reason Vivid BAD SQUAD sings so well is because Akito and Toya sound really good together, they’re always in sync and their voices compliment each other well.
(Akito’s heart explodes whenever An- or anyone , as a matter of fact, tells him this.)
It’s not like he has to try to match Toya’s voice when they sing together, it just kind of happens. Like they were meant to be singing partners. That’s why Akito loves singing alone with Toya.
They sit in silence for a little while, Akito’s arm somehow managing to snake around Toya’s waist. His face is buried in the crook of Toya’s neck, and all he can think of is how warm Toya is and how good he smells.
(Toya smells like flowers, Akito notes.)
Akito shifts slightly, and Toya mumbles something inaudible.
He sits up, rolling out the kinks in his neck and staring at his uneaten cheesecake.
What a waste, he’ll give it to Ena later.
Akito grabs the other cheesecake from his backpack, and hands it to Toya.
“Cheesecake?” he asks.
Toya accepts it, maybe just for the sake of making Akito happy, and carefully places it into his own backpack.
Akito closes his eyes, and when he opens them again, he sighs at his own cowardice.
“Kohane is really pretty.” Akito finally says, taking a long drink of his hot chocolate.
Toya turns to look at him, surprised at the brought up topic, but Akito keeps staring straight ahead.
“What makes you say that?”
“I dunno… I feel like a lot of people would find her pretty, is all.”
A playful smile flickers across Toya’s lips, there and gone.
“You think so?”
Akito doesn’t respond.
He can’t find it in himself to hate Kohane for stealing Toya away from him (which is probably the farthest thing from her intentions, Akito realizes). She’s unbelievably nice, and if Toya likes her, then Akito likes her too.
That was easier said than done.
Akito has been avoiding Toya for some time now.
It’s not really on purpose, he just has a lot of work to do, and Toya has been spending a considerably large amount of his time with Kohane, so Akito decides he has better things to do.
(He doesn’t, not really.)
It just so happens that he has loads of stuff to do with other people when Toya asks him to hang out.
Toya [5:15 PM]
Hey
Do you wanna hang out
Akito stares at the message for a while. It’s not like he has anything planned, but he really doesn’t want to confront Toya right now, especially after Akito has taken the time to start avoiding him at school.
Akito [5:18 PM]
uh
im kinda busy
im hanging with akiyama later
sorry
Akito wasn’t actually going to, but he was sure Mizuki could do him a favor and talk with him for a bit. They were like an older sibling to him, and they were really quite nice when they weren’t making out with his sister.
Besides, there's something Akito wants to get off his chest, and Mizuki seems like the perfect person for it.
Toya [5:18 PM]
Oh okay
No worries it’s fine
Akito feels kind of bad about half-lying to his best friend, but he doesn’t have much time to dwell on it.
Akito [5:21 PM]
hey
uhhhh do u have time to talk
theres smth thats been bothering me lately
Mizuki replies fast, as per usual, probably something to do with their fucked up sleep schedule, similar to Ena’s.
Mizuki [5:22 PM]
can it wait
im so fucking tired right now
Akito [5:22 PM]
oh its nothing important
it can wait
go get some sleep
A few moments later, his phone lights up with a text.
Mizuki [5:24 PM]
ykw nvm
cant sleep what is it
Akito smiles.
Akito [5:25 PM]
can you meet me at the park?
the one near Kamiyama
Mizuki [5:25 PM]
you got it lil bro
be there in 10
Akito turns off his phone.
“I’m going out!” he calls to his sister, who’s still cooped up in her room and hasn’t seen the light of day yet.
“Where to?” Ena calls back.
“The park. I’m meeting up with a friend, I’ll be back before dinner.”
Akito doesn’t get a reply, so he takes that as a sign to head out.
The afternoon sun is warm on his skin as Akito walks towards the park, a slight tremble in his steps as he tries to walk normally (and fails).
Mizuki is already sitting on a bench when Akito arrives, which is surprising because he does recall them saying they were too tired to talk just a while ago.
They pat down the empty spot next to them, a grin on their face, and Akito sits down.
“Soooo, what does lil bro wanna talk about this time?” they say, folding their hands together eagerly.
“It’s kind of a personal thing, but… I trust you.” Akito begins, unsure of how to introduce the topic.
Mizuki quirks their lips at his statement, nodding at him to continue.
“Well, I’m telling you this because it’s been kind of bothering me, and I didn’t want to talk to Ena about it because it’s kind of embarrassing….”
Mizuki smirks, a knowing smile on their face. Shit.
“Oooh, does little Akito have a crush~?” Mizuki teases, a playful lilt to their voice.
“Mizuki!” Akito splutters, the redness on his ears giving it away.
“Is it that one boy that you always sing with, what’s his name, Tuya?”
“It’s Toya, and yes, it is him.” Akito stammers.
“I figured. So what do you wanna talk about then?”
“Um… I… I think I maybe like him?”Akito says awkwardly, fidgeting with his hands. His voice is unbelievably high and squeaky, like a mouse.
It’s embarrassing, frankly.
“Wait, Akito…” Mizuki says, suddenly confused. “I thought you guys were dating?”
Akito chokes on nothing at Mizuki’s words, and Mizuki pats him on the back repeatedly while howling in laughter.
“M-Mizuki, we aren’t dating! Where the hell did you get that from?” Akito says, cheeks red and eyes frantic.
“You two act like an old married couple, you idiot.” Mizuki laughs.
Akito turns red instantly.
“We do not!” Akito yells, clearly flustered and an easy target for Mizuki’s relentless teasing.
Mizuki chuckles and Akito wants to wipe the smirk off their face.
“Wow, you guys really aren’t together? I wouldn’t have believed that if I wasn’t hearing it from you yourself.”
“No, Mizuki…” he trails off, his heart suddenly becoming heavier. He doesn’t know why.
“We aren’t together.”
There’s a tinge of disappointment in the way Akito says it, and Mizuki notices.
“Well, why don’t you tell him how you feel?”
Akito looks like he’s seen a ghost.
“No- I can’t- well, you see, I’m sure it’s just a crush. We’re only friends, and I don’t like like him, not like that...” he says adamantly.
Akito makes a disgusted face to help prove his point.
He unfortunately fails to notice Mizuki’s quiet snickering.
“You’re not making any sense, lil bro.” Mizuki says with a sympathetic smile.
Akito impatiently runs his hand through his hair, messing it up more than it already is.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is that we’re just friends? I’ll get over him soon enough.” he finishes with uncertainty.
Mizuki’s laughing now, their head thrown back and cheeks flushed.
They make a show of wiping nonexistent tears from their eyes, which makes Akito roll his own eyes. It’s a habit of his, he does it a lot, especially towards An and his sister.
“Akito, friends don’t act the way you two do.”
Mizuki looks absently at the sky, and Akito waits patiently for elaboration.
“I don’t think you have a crush on Toya.” they say finally.
He raises an eyebrow.
“I think you’re in love with him.”
Akito gasps at their extremely false accusation. He’s horrified that they would ever come to that conclusion.
“N-no, that’s not true! It can’t be- it’s just a childish crush, nothing more.”
“Akito, you're talking bullshit right now, but whatever helps you sleep at night.”, they say helpfully.
“I- can’t tell him, Mizuki. It’ll ruin everything. He- no- you don’t get it.”
His voice cracks.
“He- Toya talks to Kohane a lot. They’re always together, laughing and singing, hell, they don’t even go to the same school!, and it makes me…”
Akito pushes back the tears that threaten to spill out. He clenches and unclenches his fists, his mind unable to think at the thought of them together.
“It makes you jealous?”
Akito nods.
Mizuki takes his hand and squeezes it.
“I know the feeling… but Akito, if you really like him, then I think you should tell him.” they say, more seriously than before.
“B-but-” Akito sputters.
“Toya deserves to know how you feel. You like him, right?” Mizuki says, cutting him off.
Akito nods his head. He’s sure of it.
“Then that’s all there is to it. You don’t need any other reason to confess.”
Akito muses over their words. He supposes they’re right.
“What if he rejects me? W-what if he doesn’t feel the same way?” Akito asks, a slight tremor in his voice.
A sly smile appears on Mizuki’s face, and Akito doesn’t like the look of it.
“You’ll never know until you try. Good luck, loverboy!”
Mizuki very narrowly dodges the rock that Akito throws at them in response.
“Hey!”
Akito's still smiling like an idiot at the possibility of Toya reciprocating his feelings when he reaches his house, opening the front door while humming the tune of one of his favorite songs (which is coincidentally a song that Toya has sung countless times).
(Just a coincidence, Akito tells himself.)
"What are you smiling at, doofus?" Ena asks.
Akito sticks out his tongue. Looks like the hermit crab has finally come out of her shell.
They rarely talk besides the occasional bickering and teasing that often occurs between them (much like Rin and Len, although Rin is way cooler than Ena).
“Nothing, mind your own business.” Akito mutters, walking up the stairs.
There’s a text from Toya when Akito reaches his room, and Akito doesn’t miss the way his heart jumps at the sight. His fingers tremble as he picks up his phone and reads it.
Toya [6:32 PM]
How did your meeting with Akiyama go?
Did you have fun?
Akito
yeah i did
thanks for asking
we had a little chat
there was something i wanted to get off my chest
Toya
Oh, I see
Would you like to eat lunch together at school tomorrow?
Akito
uhhh, i have club activities at lunch so i can’t, i’m really sorry
It’s not a lie, but for some reason, Akito still feels guilty.
Toya
It’s fine
I’ll be with Kohane then at lunch tomorrow if you want to find me, okay?
Akito doesn’t bother responding out of sheer pettiness, throwing his phone across the room, where it lands with a thud on his carpet.
It was not “just a crush”, as Akito had falsely told Mizuki just days prior. In fact, it was more than that.
Akiyama Mizuki is fucking right, and Akito hates it.
“Cut that out, will you?” the student next to him says, clearly annoyed.
“Sorry,” Akito mumbles, shoving the pen he was unconsciously clicking back into his pencil case.
The clock ticks by at a turtle’s pace, and Akito is restless. He taps his foot on the floor, stares out the window, looks at his watch, and repeats the fidgeting.
When the bell finally rings, Akito couldn’t be more grateful. He grabs his books and messily stuffs them into his backpack, not bothering to zip it up all the way.
He needs to get out here before he bumps into Toya.
In his haste to get out the door, he’s shoved by some other person trying to get through the crowded hall, and the contents of his backpack are sent flying in different directions.
“Hey, watch it man!” Akito growls, but the person is long gone.
He bends down to pick up his scattered books, a string of curses leaving his mouth.
Someone stoops down next to them, wordlessly picking up his fallen papers. Their figure is oddly familiar to Akito, but he doesn’t have much time to think about it, because he’s already running late to his club meeting.
“Thanks,” he mutters, not sparing them a glance. He needs to go.
“Hey, Akito.” the voice says softly, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.
Akito visibly stiffens. He knows that voice, he could recognize it anywhere.
(He loves that voice, and the person that it belongs to.)
“Toya,” he acknowledges, turning around but not looking his friend in the eye. He can’t, not after his newfound realization. He looks awkwardly at the ground instead.
“Are you… avoiding me?” Toya asks dubiously.
“No- I’m not!” Akito says quickly, a little too quickly. He does not want Toya to think that he’s avoiding him, not on purpose at least.
“You’ve been acting differently lately.” Toya says, leaning against the wall as if Akito had all the time in the world to chat.
Akito hates how he’s right. But it’s not his fault! If Toya would just stop talking to Kohane all the time, then maybe Akito wouldn’t be acting so weirdly.
(But Toya doesn’t know that, and will never know that, not over Akito’s dead body.)
“I’m not acting differently, Toya.” Akito mutters. “Maybe you’re just imagining things.”
So what if Akito was a little overprotective over his best friend? It’s his duty as Toya’s singing partner.
(It’s a “you can be friends with Toya but if you get too close I’ll punch you right in the face”, kind of thing.)
Toya’s staring him down, and Akito thinks he might just end up telling him how he truly feels if he doesn’t get out of here soon.
He checks his watch.
He’s already four minutes late.
“Look, I’m sorry, but I really need to go, I’m late for my club meeting.” he says abruptly, leaving Toya to stand alone in the hallway.
Does he really need to go to his meeting, or does he just want an excuse to get away from Toya and his suffocating presence?
Akito grips his backpack strap tighter and bites back the tears that now cloud his vision.
He’s a fucking coward, isn’t he?
Toya doesn’t bother texting him or talking to him at school for the next few days.
Akito doesn’t blame him, not after how he acted so oddly toward him in the hallway. However, it does bother him.
He finds himself waiting for text messages that never come, checking his phone anxiously every five minutes only to growl in frustration when he sees nothing and then slam his head into his pillow.
(He is not going to text first, he’s not that desperate, he tells himself.)
Maybe he should visit the SEKAI. Maybe Miku or Meiko could help.
Mizuki’s words float back to him, but Akito doesn’t want to think about what they said, and the truth of their words.
With a sigh, Akito pulls out his phone.
His world gives way to a blinding white, and Akito is transported to the SEKAI.
A distant breeze tickles his face. RAD WEEKEND posters and graffiti litter the walls surrounding the cafe, a creation of all that Akito ever dreams to achieve.
(However, Akito doesn’t know if surpassing RAD WEEKEND is worth it if Toya isn’t by his side.)
A distant bell jingles as he steps inside, waving towards Meiko who’s currently at the counter.
His smile instantly fades, however, when he scans the place.
The last two people he wants to see right now are conveniently sitting at the bar of Crase Cafe.
“Akito?” Toya asks, looking up from his cup of coffee.
Toya’s gaze narrows as he locks eyes with Akito, and his confidence crumbles as he stares into those abyssal gray eyes.
“Hey, Shinonome-kun! Come join us!” Kohane chirps from her seat next to Toya, too dense to notice the tension between the two.
Akito’s brain stops working, and he’s already pulling out his phone, index finger reaching to tap the stop button on the song Ready Steady.
He needs to get out of here, anywhere but here, anywhere that doesn’t have Toya and Kohane and Toya and Kohane and Toya and…
“Wait- Akito!” Toya yells.
Akito never hears what Toya says next, because he’s being whisked away to his room, where hot tears are already falling on his cheeks.
He flings himself onto the bed and cries into a stuffed animal that Toya won from the arcade once. Akito had originally planned on giving it to Ena, but Toya had insisted that he keep it.
(Stuffed animals are for girls, Toya, he had said, before rolling his eyes and shoving it into his bag.)
Although, he would never admit that he was secretly happy that his best friend wanted to give him a stuffed animal instead of Ena for once.
The oversized, floppy blue eared bunny smells exactly like Toya.
Akito wrinkles his nose and hurls the damp plushy across the room. He chooses to cry into his pillow, (which is not from Toya) instead.
Kohane and Toya are singing that cursed song again. That cursed song that makes Akito want to punch something, maybe a wall, or maybe Kohane’s face.
Akito crumples the empty plastic water bottle in his hands, his gaze cloudy.
He’s sitting alone in a chair, watching them sing on the opposite side of the cafe, watching Kohane sing in the spot that he’s supposed to occupy.
They sound so good together, which is what makes Akito mad. And the smile on Toya’s face when he sings with Kohane is going to end up breaking his heart.
“Akito? Are you okay?”
“Huh?” Akito says, releasing the tension in his shoulders as he straightens his back.
“You’re gripping that bottle like you want it dead.” Ken says ruefully, sliding a plate of cheesecake towards him.
“Not hungry.” Akito shrugs, staring at the cake with disinterest.
Ken stares at Akito like he has two heads. He never skips out on a chance for extra dessert.
“Something on your mind?”
Akito realizes he never got to talk to Miku or Meiko.
“Yeah… there actually is.”
“Well, I’m all ears if you need someone to talk to, kid.”
Akito manages a weak smile.
“It’s about Toya, isn’t it?”
Akito raises his eyebrow. First Mizuki, now Ken? He must be really going through it if both of them noticed.
“How’d you… know?”
“I know a thing or two about you boys.” Ken says offhandedly, but there’s a teasing smile on his face.
His entire face turns furiously red. But, back to the point, Akito tells himself.
“So like, I’ve been ignoring Toya, for cowardly reasons that I’d rather not talk about, but now he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore.”
Ken nods.
“And how is this affecting you?”
“It bothers me. He spends all his time with Kohane and it’s like… I’m not even there. He acts like he doesn’t care anymore.”
“I think he does care, Akito. You have to realize that it’s not only affecting you. Your actions are affecting him too.” Ken says softly.
“How the hell is this affecting him ? He’s the happiest person in the world right now. Maybe he should show me that he cares! Instead of singing with Kohane in a song that I want to sing with him!”
Ken shakes his head.
“Let me put it this way. If Toya started ignoring you out of the blue, what would you do? How would you feel?”
“I’d be mad, no shit,” Akito grumbles. “Then I’d walk right up to his face and ask him why he’s avoiding me.”
“And… has Toya done that?”
“No- wait…” Akito pauses.
“He did come up to me at school once. Asked me why I was avoiding him, and I just kinda chickened out and left. After that, he hasn’t been talking to me.”
“So Toya did try to show that he cared, and that this was affecting him too. However, you chose to ignore him and walk away.”
“Yeah, basically. When you put it that way, it makes me sound like the villain.” Akito groans.
“Kid, if you make a mistake, you gotta fix it. Simple.”
“How the fuck do I fix this? Toya literally doesn’t want anything to do with me.” Akito exhales, exasperated.
“Talk to him. Tell him how you feel.” Ken says, glancing at Toya, who’s standing beside an excited Kohane, a soft smile on his face.
But when Toya looks at Akito, his smile instantly disappears, and Akito is forced to look away before the tears start coming again.
“I… I can’t. I’m scared.” Akito admits.
“Akito, the situation isn’t going to get better if you keep disregarding it. I’m sure Toya would be happy to listen if you wanted to sort things out with him.”
“Okay,” Akito says.
He wants to try, try and fix this mess that he’s created.
Ken smiles.
“Atta boy.”
“Thank you, Ken-san!” Toya calls out, waving goodbye.
“See you two soon!” Ken replies as Toya steps out of the cafe.
Akito’s leaning against the wall, shivering and wishing Toya would hurry the fuck up so that they can go home together.
He realizes with a frown that Toya’s only wearing a short-sleeved shirt in the cold evening.
Oh. Correction. Toya’s wearing an insanely oversized shirt that belongs to him , Akito realizes with a painful smile.
It’s nice, Akito thinks. The clothes look better on him anyways.
Akito almost wants to shrug off his own jacket and give it to Toya, because he wouldn’t mind being cold if it meant that Toya was warm, but Toya barely glances at him, and instead, walks right past him.
As if he’s not even there.
Akito’s heart crumbles and his knees go weak. He swipes at his damp eyes angrily.
Toya really doesn’t want to talk to him, huh?
Akito guesses it’s revenge for how Akito’s been ignoring him.
He’s about to turn the other way and start walking home, but he’s interrupted.
“Are you coming or not?” Toya calls out from several steps ahead. The soft glow of the streetlight on his hair makes him look like an angel in the darkness.
Akito almost looks around to see if Toya’s talking to anyone else, but it’s just them out on the street. He breaks out into a half-smile, and picks up his pace to catch up to him.
So.
Now, Akito finds himself walking home from practice with Toya (like usual), but in silence (this is new), with a chance to finally talk to him.
Alone.
Ken’s words are still fresh in his mind. He has to tell Toya while he still has the courage.
Reaching out, Akito tries to grab onto Toya’s wrist, to stop him, but the instant their hands meet, Toya jerks away, horrified.
“What are you doing?” Toya says, his face blank as always, but there’s confusion (and maybe hurt?), in the way he looks at Akito.
It’s weird, Toya has never been one to show much emotion, it’s always Akito.
(You wear your heart on your sleeve, Toya says.)
“I- Can we talk?” Akito pleads.
Toya says nothing and turns around, leaving Akito to stand alone.
“Toya, please, I know you might be kind of mad at me right now, but I really want to talk to you.” Akito says, a strain in his voice.
He’s ignored.
Akito quickens his pace in an attempt to try and catch up with Toya, damn him and his long legs.
Toya continues walking, not even sparing him a glance.
Akito’s done with this. He’s never been a very patient person, and Toya is playing with the last threads of his sanity.
“Toya? Why do you have to be like this?” Akito says angrily.
There’s hesitation in the next step Toya takes, it’s small, but it’s very obvious to Akito, who has memorized all of Toya’s habits (even the tiniest ones).
“Just listen to me, please.” Akito pleads. “Yell at me all you want, but just talk to me, okay?”
Toya turns around and Akito nearly bumps into him.
“Fine! What do you want to say?” Toya says, voice ice-cold. Akito winces at the sound.
“Um, about practice. The song you sang with Kohane.”
The melody is still playing in his ears. It’s a song he’s heard before, he and An sang it once at practice together.
“What about it?”
“Why are you singing it with her?”
Toya raises an eyebrow, resentment turning into curiosity.
“Kohane asked me to? It’s only polite to accept.”
“No, that’s not what I mean…” Akito trails off.
Spit. It. Out.
He looks up at Toya, yes, up , into his piercing gray eyes.
“What I mean is- why can’t you just sing it with me instead?” Akito says.
It’s a stupid question, but he can’t help but ask it anyways.
Toya opens his lips, but he says nothing. Akito swears he sees a look of surprise, but it’s quickly masked away.
And then, Toya continues walking, not towards Akito’s apartment like usual, but to the Aoyagi household instead.
They always go to Akito’s place after practice, it’s like tradition. After all, who would want to go to a home filled with angry family members that constantly degrade you for not being good enough?
Akito’s house is like a haven for Toya. He feels safe there (Akito hopes that he’s partially the reason why), and he knows this because Toya told him once.
If Toya wants to be stubborn and go back to his dreary house, then Akito will just follow him, like he always does.
Relentless, he pushes on. There’s something he’s been dying to know, and it’s how Toya feels about him. If he has to use Kohane to get his answer, so be it.
And so, Akito realizes the very scary accusation that he has to make. One that could possibly break his fragile candy heart.
“You would rather sing with Kohane than me, is that it? You like her, don’t you?” Akito seethes, jealousy evident in his voice.
“Why do you care?” Toya says, fighting to keep his voice neutral. His expression is hard to see in the dim light, but his eyebrows are furrowed and Akito can sense the anger within him.
(Although, Akito thinks he kind of deserves it.)
“Why shouldn’t I?” Akito growls. “You’re not just my singing partner, you’re my best friend Toya. I care about you.”
“So now you care? After you’ve been avoiding me all these weeks? Barely responding to my texts and not even looking at me in the hallways?” Toya bursts out.
“I…,” Akito says.
“You can’t just do that, Akito! I thought partners had each other’s backs. We’re supposed to be there for each other. I thought you were the best partner anyone could ever have… but I guess I was wrong.”
Toya’s words cut Akito to the core, and it hurts .
“I’m sorry ,” Akito says, his breathing shallow. He’s dizzy, and he thinks he might pass out.
Toya comes to a full stop now, running his hands through his hair with annoyance. He laughs, but it’s a hollow sound.
“We’ve known each other for so long, and suddenly you just start ignoring me out of the blue?”
Then, something inside Toya clicks, Akito can see the way his gaze clears, and it’s replaced with an expression he can’t quite place.
“Is it because of my sudden closeness with Kohane?”
Akito’s jaw stops working, and he’s unable to look Toya in the face.
“It bothers you.” Toya says again. This time, it’s not a question.
“So what if it does?” Akito mutters, his face burning. “Kohane doesn’t deserve to sing with you. She’s barely performed in shows before we formed Vivid BAD SQUAD, and now she wants to sing alone with you?” he says, an edge to his voice.
“What’s wrong with that, Akito? I admire her resolve and her dream, and so maybe I want to sing with her. Huh, you never thought about that possibility did you? Gods, you’re so damn selfish sometimes!” Toya snaps.
“What about my resolve, huh? Am I not good enough for you anymore? Is that why you chose to sing with her instead of me?” Akito says, raising his voice.
“For fuck’s sake Toya, what does Kohane have that I don’t?”
Time seems to slow down as Akito realizes what he just said. His eyes widen as he clamps his hand over his mouth.
Toya stops and looks at him. Like, actually looks at him.
“Say that again.”
Toya takes one step forward, and Akito takes one step back.
“Say what?” Akito asks, trying to feign ignorance. He’s glad for the lack of light, because the tips of his ears are burning. He probably sounds like a sad and jealous little bitch right now, and he hates it.
“What you just said.”
“W-what do you mean?”
“Akito, you know what I’m talking about,” Toya says, more forcefully this time. It kind of scares Akito. He’s seen Toya act like this, but never towards him.
Akito refuses to meet Toya’s gaze when he says his next words.
“Do you like Kohane?”
“So what if I did? What does it mean to you?” Toya says, his eyes narrowing.
Akito lets out an incredulous laugh. It hurts.
“Everything, Toya! It means everything, because I like you-,” Akito says, chest heaving.
The night is cold, but his skin is on fire.
“I’ve always liked you, but you just don’t fucking realize it!”
Toya’s taken aback, Akito can see it in the way he fails to hide his emotions for just a fraction of a second. But the surprise disappears just as quickly as it came. Usually, Akito can tell what Toya’s feeling, but now, he’s more distant and hard to read than ever.
(He hates that it’s due to the fact he’s been ignoring Toya for the past few weeks.)
Akito’s scared for his response. He wishes the ground underneath him would open up and swallow him whole.
And just when the silence becomes almost unbearable, the corners of Toya’s lips quirk up into a smile.
“You’re wrong, Akito.”
“About what?” Akito demands.
“A lot of things,” Toya huffs, “but it’s not Kohane. I never liked her.”
“Then what?” Akito says angrily.
Toya doesn't answer. Instead he pulls on Akito’s shirt, yanking him up to meet his lips.
It’s awkward at first, Akito doesn’t know where to put his hands or what to do with his tongue. He’s only ever kissed one other person before, and that was way back when Akito had a big schoolgirl crush on this cute boy in his old school.
It was short-lived, they shared a messy kiss in an empty classroom and Akito had wiped his mouth on his sleeve after, trying to not throw up as he ran away. It was disgusting, and Akito never talked to the boy ever again. Kissing just wasn’t for him, he had decided.
But Toya is different. Toya isn’t just a random boy, he’s his best friend.
Akito can’t wrap his head around the fact that he’s really kissing Toya fucking Aoyagi, of all people, his crush of 9 years and best friend of a lifetime.
Am I dreaming?
He puts his hands on Toya’s shoulders, and Toya puts his hands around his waist, bringing him closer.
It’s wrong, they’re in the middle of an argument and Akito just very much screamed at Toya, but all he can think about is Toya’s lips against his, and it feels so, so , right.
The kiss is frantic, both passionate and angry, and he can’t get enough.
When Akito finally pulls away, he’s breathless and has the sudden urge to kiss a very flustered Toya again, but he refrains. The fuzzy feeling in his chest is odd, but Akito likes it.
“W-what was that?” Akito says, trying desperately to hide the tremble of his voice.
Toya smiles.
“I think you know.”
Akito grins, he realizes that he does know.
“I do, I just want to hear you say it out loud.”
Toya laughs, the sound of it like music to his ears.
“I love you, Akito.”
Akito hears the words, and he holds them close to his heart,
“You were wrong, about not being good enough for me.” Toya says, cheeks flushed and hair askew.
“Hah, if only you knew.” Aktio answers with a rueful smile.
And then his lips are on Toya’s again, the kiss feverish and wanting.
He has to stand on his fucking tippy toes to kiss Toya, but Akito could care less in the moment. Toya’s touches are like fire on his skin, sparking desire as his hands trail down to trace Akito’s jaw.
Akito can’t form coherent thoughts, not like this, not while Toya is pressed up against him and the flowery scent of his shampoo is invading his senses.
He only wishes he had the courage to confess earlier. Akito hadn’t meant to ignore Toya for weeks, not this long, but their severed bond is rebuilding between them, and it makes Akito feel like he could conquer the world, with Toya by his side.
At last, Toya pulls away. His gray eyes are shimmering in the translucent light of the moon, their color soft and liquid and more bright than ever before.
Akito wants to fix every detail of how Toya looks right now into his mind.
He leans his head on Toya’s shoulder, his heart still racing like never before.
“You know that one day at the cafe, when you were sitting with Kohane?” he says, wiping at tears he didn’t know were on his cheeks.
Toya nods.
“I was jealous. Of her, I mean. I thought you sang with her because I wasn’t good enough for you.”
“Akito, you selfish idiot…” Toya begins with a smile.
“You’ve always been enough for me. More than enough, in fact. Do you realize how lucky I am to have you in my life?” he says, the words raw and tender.
Akito grins and ruffles Toya’s hair.
“You big sap. I love you too.” he says with affection, and the smile that breaks out onto Toya’s face makes Akito want to kiss him all over again.
But not here, and not now. It’s getting late, and they need to go home.
Home is not the lifeless Aoyagi household, home is where Toya can be himself, with Akito by his side. And so there’s only one place left for them to go.
He takes Toya’s hand and drags them towards his apartment, where Ena will no doubt grumble at him for bringing his best friend, no- not friend, his boyfriend , over to stay the night, but Akito could care less.
All he can think about is Toya’s warm hand in his own, their fingers interlaced, and the fact that he’s never ever going to let go.