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Dustin isn’t stupid, quite contrary. Everyone knows that Dustin is great at math. So, when he sees Will and Lisa Anderson, the hottest girl in school, he can see that 2+2=4. Well, it’s not just that. Will was, it was hard to explain. Dustin just had a feeling. And eyes. He could not be sure if Will was gay, but he was absolutely positive that Will like liked Mike. He hadn’t been doing great ever since the whole Mind Flayer thing. He didn’t like to talk about it, but every now and then he would run off to the bathroom during Mr. Clarke’s class. Dustin, or sometimes Lucas would wait a few minutes and say he needed to go to the nurse. He never went to the nurse. Mr. Clarke knew it too, he always gave him a look. So Dustin would run off to the bathroom right past Mrs. Kowalcyz’s classroom, and Will would be hiding under the sink, crying. Dustin would sit with him, they wouldn’t really talk, but they would just hang out. It would get really bad when Troy said some stupid shit. Even though that asshole had pissed himself in front of the whole school, he still picked on all of them.
It was particularly bad one day. Troy had gone up to Will and poured glitter all over him. “Here’s your fairy dust!”
The whole room was staring at them, Will looked like he was going to throw up. Mike was the first one to react, he was sitting the closest to Will. He got all up in Troy’s face and started yelling at him.
“He’s not a fairy!” He shouted as he pushed Troy.
“What are you? His boyfriend? You both fags?” Troy spat back.
“No!” Mike got red in the face and defensive, when Dustin looked at Will there was something in his eyes. It looked heartbroken.
Max grabbed Will by the wrist and started walking towards the hall, as a teacher approached the table. Dustin decided to go after them, but he called back to the table, “Have fun in detention, pissboy!”
When he caught up to Max and Will they were in the boys' bathroom and Will was crying. He wasn’t saying anything, just crying into Max’s shoulders with silent sobs. Dustin had never really seen Will cry, even after everything with the Upside Down, he just didn’t really cry. This was the most upset he had ever seen Will, but it wasn’t the first time Troy had ever said stuff like that. It wasn’t even the first time it had gotten that bad. It was the first time Mike had said something like that though.
The scientific method calls for control groups and experimental groups. If you looked at all of the instances of bullying, the results become clear. It’s Mike’s reaction that made Will the most upset. He remembered what Steve had said about electricity, and maybe there wasn’t any on Mike’s side. But there definitely was on Will’s.
If it was making Will this upset, this had to be solved. Will was a party member, and when a party member is hurt, you help them. Dustin didn’t know how to help him, like, long term. But right now, Will was crying and he was covered in glitter. That, Dustin, could handle.
“Here, let’s go to the locker room. I’ll give you my clothes, and I’ll wear my gym shirt.” Dustin pat him on the back once he seemed to be calming down. When they got to the locker room, Dustin did his best to comb out the glitter from Will’s hair. He gave him the shirt off his back and offered it out to him.
“Are you sure? It’s okay. Really.” Will said, so clearly lying.
“It’ll look better on you,” Dustin shrugged. And it did, green suited Will. The bell rang and they were about to head to class when Dustin saw how much glitter was left in Will’s hair. Dustin grabbed his cap from his backpack and put it on Will. “There. So no one sees your stupid haircut.”
Will hugged him tight, and Dustin swore to himself he was going to figure out how to make sure Will wouldn’t cry anymore.
Dustin didn’t know where to look. He was a researcher, a man of science. But emotions weren’t his area of expertise. He went to his mom, if anyone could help, it would be her. She was a nurse, and great with people.
“Mom. Will likes Mike, but Mike doesn’t like Will, and it’s making Will sad.” Dustin told her at the dinner table one night. His mom goes silent, she dropped her fork.
“Dusty- I appreciate that you told me, but you can’t be telling other people the stuff Will tells you privately. He needs to tell people when he’s ready to.” She said it slowly, so carefully. His mother wasn’t getting it, this was so much bigger than secrets, this was an emergency.
“But he hasn’t told me! He hasn’t told anyone, and it’s clearly bothering him! Especially after everything that happened in the Up- upper area of the woods. He was really scared after what happened in the upper area of the woods, and he doesn’t need a dumb crush making him upset.” Dustin grumbled pushing the peas around on his plate.
“Well, then you definitely shouldn’t be telling other people. Will doesn’t need the wrong person hearing about something they don’t like, and giving him guff for it. You know how people can be, the people he puts up with at school, that bastard Lonnie Byers. You can always come to me about anything, but make sure none of your theories leave this house. Got it?” His mom admonished him. And yeah, she was right. He nodded along and said that he understood. He didn’t like it, Will shouldn’t have to deal with that. It wasn’t fair. But Dustin knew, sometimes, sometimes life wasn’t fair.
“But what am I supposed to do? How do I make him feel better?” He asked, he couldn’t give up. A party member was in trouble. He went into those tunnels to help Will and El out, there had to be something he could do to help him with this.
She took his hands in hers and told him, “There’s only one thing you can do: wait for him to tell you. When he’s ready, he’s going to want to talk to you about it. Be there for him, show him that you’re supportive. Don’t let him think you would push him away for it, but don’t try to make him talk. He needs you. You can show him you’re okay with like the concept of gay people, but don’t make him tell you anything. It’s scary, really scary.”
She squeezed his hands tight before releasing them. “Some of my patients, they’re sick. And they’re scared because they can’t tell anyone. The only thing their family or friends ever told them was bad. So now, when push comes to shove, they don’t know who they can talk to, who they can go to. Just, just show him you’re there for him even when it’s not the worst-case scenario. Show him that you don’t think being gay is wrong, whether or not he’s gay isn’t that point.”
Dustin nodded. He could do that. He needed to be subtle. He could do that. That might take some research. But he could do that. So right after dinner he called Steve and told him they needed to go to the library after school the next day. When Steve asked what for, Dustin panicked and told him it’s for a school project for Mr. Clarke on human development.
He copies as much information as he could into a brand new notebook. Just like the one he has for stuff that might be Upside Down related, or stuff about space, or animals. For most of that day, he was looking at stuff on science and biology and from one scientist, Alfred Kinsey. But he knows it’s going to be so much more than just science. He knows that. People aren’t just biology, so he needs to keep up with other stuff. Movies, music, magazines.
He keeps it all in the notebook. Just in case. Every now and then he’ll drop it into conversations, but for the most part, it’s just a scrapbook. The only one who knows is his mom, he knows it makes him seem like a serial killer to other people. But it’s also an academic thing, he might be a man of science, but he understood that the humanities were important. This is a developing field, and so is sexology. If he could help his friend, and get into an academic journal, well it’s just beneficial all around.
He and his mom would cut out articles from the newspapers and put them in the notebook. It helped his mom got the New York Times , the Hawkins Post never had anything. It would be their little tradition, to read the newspaper on Saturday or Sunday mornings depending on her schedule. They would work on the crossword together, working as a team they always finished it. She would read the paper and circle stuff he might be interested in. He would read the paper and then cut everything out and tape it together.
Going to the doctor always sucked, doctors suck. But, he kind of looked forward to going to the dentist. Dr. Lawrence always had a bunch of magazines that were harder to find in Hawkins. He always had his mom stuff them in her purse so they could steal them. She had a special purse for doctors’ offices now.
Will also had to go to doctors all the time. He started getting seizures after the Mind Flayer. It wasn’t really all that Upside Down related, they were just normal human seizures. Spending a week in another dimension probably didn’t help, though. Dustin might not get the whole gay thing, and how that was making Will upset, but he could understand endless doctors appointments, poking, prodding, being treated like you’re an experiment and not really human. Dustin knew that all too well, so he would invite Will over for sleepovers the night after he had doctor's appointments. Mrs. Byers and his mom thought it was just about the sweetest thing on the planet. He didn’t get the big deal. They would read comics, listen to music, they didn’t really talk, but Dustin thought it helped. Dustin hoped it helped.
It was one such night that Dustin decided it was time to start laying the groundwork for Operation Acceptance. Will had just let him borrow Frankenstein . They had a little book club thing going on, so Dustin thought this was the perfect in.
“My mom just got me this! I really liked it!” Dustin handed him a copy of The Picture of Dorian Gray . Oscar Wilde was like so gay, and it was still kind of spooky and fantasy. Dustin thought Will would like it, regardless of the gay thing.
The next day at school Will came up to him. “I- um, I really liked it. Thanks. It was really cool.”
Success!
“Right? My mom got it for me when we were watching the Get Smart marathon on T.V. and there was this episode about like paint that ages you, and I thought it was so cool. Like it kind of reminded me of something freaky in DnD or like, the lab. Anyway, they called it Dorian Gray, and she gave me the book. She really likes theater and stuff and apparently, this Oscar Wilde guy wrote a bunch of plays. Those are kinda funny, this one was pretty dark, but I really liked it.” That was how he got the book, his mom also told him Oscar Wilde was like sooooooo gay. So it worked really well.
Will was just nodding along, but he was smiling. “Here, uh Jonathan let me borrow this last month, I think you might like it. I’ll ask Jonathan for the other books he has by this author if you get me more books by this guy. Sound like a deal?”
Will handed him a beat-up-looking copy of Cat’s Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut. He had heard his mom and Jonathan talk about this guy. It looked pretty interesting. He nodded. He couldn’t wait to get home and tell his mom, he hoped she had some more of the Oscar Wilde books.
He ended up really like Kurt Vonnegut. He wondered if Will also had a plan. Slaughterhouse Five really felt like he knew. Dustin had a lot of nightmares. He did his best to hide it, but he was still reeling from the first Upside Down incident. Will had died, he saw his body, went to his funeral, and laid a rock on the headstone. He knew that was all fake, but it also wasn’t. It was real. It felt real. His best friend had died, and he had to pretend it was fine. Then he wasn’t dead, but El was. And now neither of them were dead. He remembers though, that period where they thought Will and El were dead. He realized in that moment, that kids could die. He never really thought about that before. But kids were dying, kids he knew, kids he loved.
Everybody is supposed to be dead, to never say anything or want anything ever again. Everything is supposed to be very quiet after a massacre, and it always is, except for the birds. And what do the birds say? All there is to say about a massacre, things like “Poo-tee-weet?”
He remembers how quiet Will’s funeral was. All those people there, most of them never even really cared about Will. Even Will’s stupid dad was there, he brought flowers. It made Dustin so mad, Mr. Byers shouldn’t have been there. It wasn’t fair. His dad was never there for Will, and if he was he only made him more upset. He didn’t even go to Will’s Bar Mitzvah. He wanted to scream, run up to Mr. Byers punch him and call him an asshole. But it was too quiet for that. He had to be quiet.
He remembers the quiet in those moments after El and the Demogorgon evaporated. The quiet after all those government people died.
He didn’t like the quiet after that. It just reminded him of the quiet that comes after death. He liked to put on albums and listen to music while he read or did his homework. His mom always yelled at him, said that he was never going to get anything done with all that noise. He didn’t know how to tell her it was the only way he could breathe, never mind get work done.
It became clear to Dustin that Will had a plan, similar to how Dustin had a plan when they ran out of Vonnegut and Wilde books. He doesn’t entirely get what the theme is, but all the books feel like a punch to the gut. Well, not really a punch to the gut, just, just like Will is looking through him, like he just read his mind and knows all the stuff he’s not talking about. He’s tempted to ask Will if he has powers like El now, but that would mean admitting it out loud.
The books Will had given him:
For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemmingway, The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin, A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle, A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis, Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger, The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton, The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Dustin thought long and hard, putting the titles in a notebook. He asked Steve for help, but Steve told him he had gotten a D in English and wouldn’t be of much help. Maybe it wasn’t any plan like Dustin had. Maybe he just thought Dustin would enjoy the books. Maybe it wasn’t intentional, and they were just both going through life as one of less than a dozen people on the planet who could possibly understand.
The books Dustin gave Will were carefully chosen, however. They were occasionally gay, but for the most part, were just whatever cool thing he found so Will wouldn’t get suspicious.
He found a fairly new fantasy book, it felt like Tolkein but it was kind of funnier. It had come out right after Wil got stuck in the Upside Down, so they all missed it when it was released. But he gave Will The Color of Magic by Terry Pratchett. Will loved it. After Will had given him the Hemmingway book, Dustin gave him Maurice by E.M. Forster. His mom had told him it was released a few years after the guy who wrote it had died. It was about being gay, and being happy. Will handed it back to him the next day, but he didn’t say much. His eyes looked less worn though, so he knew he liked it. He eased up a little so Will wouldn’t catch on. He found a cool X-Men collection and his grandma had given him Maus for his birthday. It was really heavy, but Will loved drawing so he hoped he would like graphic novels. He did. They watched Blade Runner one night so he gave Will Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? since he liked the movie. He also gave him The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy which took him a while, because it was a really long book. That’s when he gave him Tales From the City , another step in the plan.
Dustin’s mom really liked musicals, and he found he did too. Will said this was like a musical but with rock music. It was not Cats , but he did like The Who on occasion. Dustin showed him Little Shop of Horrors which they loved. They danced around the living room for hours, because they couldn’t decide who got to be Audrey II and who could be Seymour so they just sang the whole thing twice so they could both get to be all the parts. At one point Jonathan joined them to play Audrey and Mr. Mushnik.
One movie night after one of Dustin’s dentist appointments that didn’t go so well they watched Cabaret . Dustin thought Liza Minelli was hot, but he could tell Will wasn’t that interested. He seemed to really like the Emcee.
The Hendersons and Byers always celebrated the Jewish holidays together, since there really weren’t a lot of people they could celebrate with since he and his mom moved to Hawkins. Jonathan, Dustin, and Will were making Hamantaschen in the Henderson’s kitchen together. Mrs. Byers had put on the tape for La Cage aux Folles, she had seen an ad for the tour in the paper. Dustin watched Will have trouble folding the cookies during “I Am What I Am”
The next morning when the Byers were leaving, Dustin gave him the tape.
“Are you sure?” Will asked in a shaky voice.
“Duh. Besides, we forgot to give you guys a mishloach manot yesterday. I’m sure cookies and wine you could try to steal from your mom would be better. But y’know. It’s a good album.”
One night, he was sleeping over at the Byers’ place, they were listening to Jonathan’s copy of The Wall .
“You two never stop reading, I swear. The library is going to run out of books soon!” Mrs. Byers said after she walked in on the two of them lying on the floor and reading.
Dustin smiled at that, maybe they would run out of books. But for now, it kept the quiet out.
Everything changed after that summer. The Byers moved to California, and suddenly Dustin didn’t have anyone to give him books, and he didn’t know how to send books to California.
So instead he decided to take inspiration from the scrapbook. The next time his mom circled an article from the art section of the New York Times, Dustin cut it out and put it in the envelope with that week’s letter. He would tell Will how Suzie was doing, what he was reading, when he got a new tooth. It was nice, definitely not the same. A new tradition along side the Times and The Hawkins Post, was the Hawk’s “What’s Out and Coming Soon” weekly circulars. Dustin would send him movies he thought Will would like, and Will started doing the same thing. It felt kind of like they were lending each other books again. Dustin sent him The Black Cauldron, Kiss of the Spider Woman, and Teen Wolf. Will sent him Real Genius,
St. Elmo's Fire, and My Science Project. They talked about Hellfire, and how cool Eddie was. Dustin apologized that they wouldn’t play dnd with him last summer, and told Will he should start his own club out there. Will said he would think about it. He would send sketches that he ripped out of his notebook, and Dustin put them on the Henderson fridge.
Things in Operation Acceptance were starting to heat up, almost unintentionally. Dustin had been volunteering at his mom’s hospital and made friends with Doug. Doug’s hospital room was really quiet. Really really quiet. His parents never visited him, and they were supposed to bring him music, but they never did. So he hatched a plan, and it had worked. He couldn’t wait to go home and tell Will, it was like something straight out of DnD.
Dear Will,
I couldn’t wait to tell you! I know that this is probably a bad idea to like write down since it’s like technically illegal or whatever, but it was so awesome! I’ve been volunteering at the hospital with my mom’s patients, and there’s this guy Doug. He’s so cool, he’s a dancer, and he likes musicals too. He could do the bottle dance from Fiddler on the Roof! He also likes Starlight Express, so he has better taste than you.
His parents are dumb and homophobic or whatever, so they didn’t visit him, and his hospital room was wayyyyy too quiet. So I offered to go get his tapes and stereo and stuff. I had Eddie come with me and he picked the lock, and Steve was our driver. The stereo was too big to take with us, so Mr. Clarke came by and gave him a boombox. We play card games, and listened to Queen. We danced, not very well, but he was smiling so much. Steve is coming with me next week, he’s bringing him chocolate chip cookies. Doug even got him to experiment with the recipe! It’s insane!
Anyway, it was nice. I think Doug’s boyfriend is going to stop by more often. I think having the music will help them with their dates.
I miss listening to music with you. And breaking and entering. It’s not as fun without you. Don’t get me wrong, Eddie and Steve are great, but it’s not the same. They’re always worrying about me. I miss when we could just sneak into places just the guys. Y’know?
-Dustin
Dustin found out later that week that Doug and Eddie weren’t dating anymore. They used to, but not anymore. “You guys should get back together,” Dustin told him.
“It’s not like that anymore.” Eddie laughed, well not quite laughed. More like huffed.
“Bullshit! I saw the two of you dancing! You don’t look at someone like that if you don’t love them!”
“Dustin, I love Doug, I’m not in love with him anymore. Drop it.”
Dustin didn’t get that, wasn’t loving someone and being in love the same thing?
Dear Dustin,
That sounds like so much fun! It’s hard being out here without you guys. I have to be a good example for El and like teach her how people work, and what school is, I don’t get to mess around that much anymore. I don’t want to get her into trouble with me.
Tell Doug I said hi! Starlight Express sucks. And I stand by that.
The other page is a drawing I made. Can you give it to him?
– Will
He gave it to Doug the next week when he went.
“My friend made this for you,” Dustin handed it to him, and Doug started tearing up. He smiled at him and put it on the bedside table next to the pictures of him and Eddie, and him and his friends. “I think he’s gay.”
“Okay…” Doug asked, unsure how to respond.
“I’ve been working on this project for the last couple years. I have a big binder of gay stuff. We used to loan each other books and tapes for musicals and bands we liked. He moved now so I send him movies that are coming out in theaters. I miss him a lot, I need him to come out soon because the notebook is getting full and I think two notebooks will make me seem like a serial killer. What do you think?”
Doug’s mouth was hanging open, there was a lot of information in there to process. “So, you’re like this with everyone? Just felonies and binders full of newspaper clippings?”
“Yeah, kind of.” Dustin shrugged. Doug ruffled his hair.
“Don’t ever change, Dustin Henderson.”
That month Will’s recommendation for Dustin was An Early Frost . He said his mom suggested it for Mrs. Henderson. Dustin recommends Wizards of the Lost Kingdom , he wanted to get Will in a dnd mood.
Dear Dustin,
I didn’t actually get to see your movie. Jonathan and Argyle wanted to see Nightmare on Elm Street 2. It was bad scary intense . It felt too real. Argyle didn’t get it. He thought I was worried about something else. Which, I mean kind of? Like in a theoretical sense, it’s just not something I am actively worrying about right now. I mean I am now , because he said it. But I only have an abstract fear of that right now, because that can’t hurt me yet. It might soon, so now I’m scared but I wasn’t before Like, I was thinking about the Mind Flayer. Not the other thing, but once he said the other thing, that got me really worried, so now I’m worried about the other thing. And the fact he thought I’d be worried about the other things scared me because that meant he knew.
He was comforting me, even though he thought it was about the other thing. He didn’t think I was weird, or scary, or gross, or disguting. He was just hugging me and doing his Argyle thing.
“It’s all cool little man. You’re okay. I’ve got you.”
And if he isn’t grossed out by me, maybe I shouldn’t be grossed out by me? I mean Argyle likes pineapple on pizza, which is objectively gross. But maybe.
-Will
P.S. Cats is touring by us and I saw it last week. It sucked.
Dustin read that letter and thought he was having an aneurysm. It did not help he had not seen Nightmare on Elm Street 2. He hadn’t seen Nightmare on Elm Street 1. It’s not like he could ask for someone else’s opinion on the letter, that would be a total breach of privacy.
He needed Steve to take him to the movies. Tonight. But he wasn’t just going to take one kid to a late-night movie. So he called Max, she loved horror movies.
“I need you to come with me to Nightmare on Elm Street 2 with me tonight. It’s an emergency.”
“How is the movies an emergency?”
“I can’t tell you, but I need you to trust me.”
“Alright fine, I’ll be at yours at 8. You better have dinner and get me a popcorn.”
He hung up and jumped up and down. It was so hard getting Max to come out nowadays. She was taking Billy’s death and the move pretty hard. Which yeah, it’s not like things were great before that.
“Steve, I need you to take me and Max to the movies tonight. It’s an emergency.”
“You need to learn the definition of an emergency one of these days. But, yes I can take you guys to the movies. What are we seeing?”
“Nightmare on Elm Street 2”
“Ugh, fine.”
The movie only moderately helped the level of comprehendible Will’s letter was. Will was being really vague, but he thinks Will was talking about being gay. The mindflayer connection was easy, he saw that. It also felt it could kind of be about AIDS. Maybe that’s what he was talking about?
When his mom said he had to wait for Will talk about it, this was not the way he was expecting that to go.
Dear Will,
I just saw Nightmare on Elm Street 2 with Max. I wasn’t really a fan either. She liked it. I don’t think Steve did.
Oh yeah, Troy’s girlfriend dumped him in front of the whole school it was super embarrassing. He keeps trying to give us shit, but Eddie always gets him to leave us alone. Eddie is kind of scary like that, but really he’s just a big golden retriever. How are things over there? Have you found a dnd group? Is anyone giving you shit? I’ll fly over there and beat them up myself.
-Dustin
P.S. Cats is amazing, I’m jealous you got to see it.
Dear Dustin,
School is school. There’s some guys who are dicks, and this one girl is super rude to El. But it’s whatever. There’s this cool guy at the record store. He’s super goth and we like a lot of the same music. I’ve been trying to hang out with him at school. That’s been cool.
I told Jonathan, he kind of knew but I confirmed it. I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while. I think I like guys, I mean, I’m not sure. It’s hard to tell. Like theres all this stuff I feel, but it’s hard to confirm. But yeah. I think I like guys. Don’t tell anyone.
– Will
When Dustin got the letter he started dancing around his room. This was great! This was the plan! He got out the notebook and started copying down information he thought might be useful. He had Mr. Clarke xerox them with some stuff for the A.V. club, so he could send Will those versions of the clippings. Say he found it at the library or something.
Dear Will,
Thanks for telling me, it means a lot that you would trust me with something like this. Don’t worry, I know not to tell anybody.
One of my science magazines had an article on human sexuality recently. I don’t have that article anymore, but I did some other research since it seemed interesting. I’ll send you the call numbers for the best books and some articles I found. Alfred Kinsey was this scientist in the 40’s and 50’s. He found that like 37% of people have had gay sex. And 10% of all men were homosexual. People think that 10% isn’t a lot, because it’s such a “low” number. 10% of men in the U.S. would be 23,582 people. And people are talking about how Kinsey’s numbers are probably off because it was like the 50s and people hadn’t even realized that girls could cum yet. It’s such bullshit, all the research is fucked up because people are weird about sex. The book is Sexual behavior in the human male and the call number is 612.6 KIN. It’s from 1948, so its super outdated but I haven’t seen anything better yet. There’s some political science stuff I was reading wit my mom, Doug, and another friend of mine. It didn’t interest me as much, but here’s the info.
There’s this essay I found at the library that might be really helpful, but I don’t have the call number. It’s called Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence by Adrienne Rich. It’s about lesbians and women, and like sexism and stuff, but it could be really helpful.
Sexual Politics, Sexual Communities by John D’Emilio HQ76.8.U5 D45 1983
Between Men by Eve Sedgwick* PR409.M38 S4 1985
This one talks about books!! If you do read it tell me how you like it and maybe we can talk about books and this stuff like its English class but like without all that boring stuff
– Dustin
Things continued as normal for the rest of the month. The Byers came home for Winter break, so he and Will got to hang out. Will brought him some books from California. They did end up talking about books. Will realized that a bunch of the books were gay, and Dustin pretended to be surprised.
In February Will told Dustin that his seizures were getting worse, and they were debating putting him on medication. His mom thought it was a good idea, but he was worried if it would mean he wouldn’t get his Upside Down Spidey Sense (as coined by Dustin)
Dear Will,
Don’t be stupid. Take the meds. Your spidey sense is no use if you’re dead. Also your seizures aren’t Upside Down related are they? Either way, take the damn meds and do what you need to do. We’ll figure the rest out.
–Dustin
Dear Dustin,
I started the meds, and it’s helping a lot. You were right, thanks for that.
Mom always tells me I’m not a freak, and that there’s nothing wrong with me, and I’m no different than all the other kids. And I get what she means like it doesn’t make me bad that I’m epileptic. (I haven’t told her about the other thing yet. Only you and Jon know about that) But there is something wrong with me. There’s something wrong with my brain, and my body still hurts all the time, and sometimes it’s hard to breathe because I have asthma now.
I get she means well, but I am different, and not just that I’m epileptic and the other thing. We’re all different in a way I just don’t think most people are in the “everyone’s different” definition. I was kidnapped by an interdimensional bigfoot. I was possessed. I technically died and came back to life? Your cat got eaten by a slug I coughed up that morphed into a nightmare dog. I don’t know how we’re supposed to be normal about that sometimes. Like yeah, it’s fine, like that’s a Tuesday for us. But how is everyone so normal about it? How do they expect us to be normal about that? I’m tired of everyone pretending it's a superpower. It kind of sucked. It really sucked.
– Will
Dear Will,
I get that, a lot. I’m still kind of caught on your funeral. We buried you, and then you’re alive, and just back in school. I saw your dead body. I know that wasn’t your body. But I didn’t know that then. I had to fully accept that you had died, and then you suddenly weren’t dead. How do we deal with that? I hate when everyone is normal about all this stuff. We watched El evaporate after she killed like 20 people. I get why, it was an emergency, it doesn’t make her a bad person. But most 12-year-olds don’t watch over a dozen people die in front of them, the same week their friends died? Steve said I should go to therapy, but what would I tell them that wouldn’t get me thrown in the looney bin?
I get the superpower thing. When Troy would make me do that stuff with my arms, Mike said I was just like the X-Men. I get he was trying to be nice, but it’s like, shut up! You don’t get it! I’m not ashamed of my disability, but I don’t feel like pretending it’s all roses either.
–Dustin
Mike made Dustin want to scream sometimes. He doesn’t get why Troy sucks. Not like Dustin, Will, and Lucas do. He’s always talking about how they're getting bullied for being nerds and being in Hellfire but that’s not it. He just wanted to shout at him:
One day you’re going to grow up, and you’re not going to be a nerd. You are going to grow up, and no one is going to make fun of you for liking Star Wars. When we grow up, the bullies aren’t going to stop. They are still going to hate us because they think there is something so fundamentally wrong with us. We can’t get jobs, because people can look at us and see there is something fundamentally different about us. Lucas almost got the shit beat out of him by Billy because he was black. It wasn’t because we were dressed up like Ghostbusters. Troy hates me because I have cleidocranial dysplasia. Everyone was so shitty about Will dying because they wanted him dead. They want him dead because he’s gay, and if you had half a brain you could see it. The reason that everyone fucks with Eddie is that he’s poor, and the writing in all the bathrooms is right. Just because a bully says it doesn’t make it incorrect, they’re just using who we are as an insult, because they think it is so wrong that our very existence is an insult.
But Dustin didn’t do that, because it was shitty to out people. So he just rolled his eyes particularly hard.
They sent each other movies, Will met a cute guy at school, he and that goth dude were hanging out. He told Dustin he had a crush on Mike. Dustin pretended to be surprised about that. Will was making Mike a painting and he was planning on giving it to Mike when he was there for spring break and he was going to tell him. That seemed… like a bad idea.
It wasn’t anything wrong with Will’s plan, great plan, happy for the guy, get your man. However, it is Mike. And Mike was… mediocre at best. He wasn’t always the most sensitive to their issues. But, Dustin wished him luck and told him to call him as soon as he could to tell him about it.
That didn’t happen. A lot of other things did happen. It was one hell of a Spring break
When Dustin found out they forgot Will’s birthday he almost commit a felony. When Will told him what Mike said to El he almost commit a capital crime.
“Are you kidding me?” Dustin shouted. They were in Dustin’s room. It was the Byers's first night back in Hawkins, but they were still working on fixing up Hopper’s old cabin.
“Dustin, it’s not that bad-” Will gave him an eye roll, and Dustin’s blood began to boil.
“Will. William. Bill. That’s so shitty, it was your birthday ! I’m going to kill him.” Dustin was in amazement, he could not believe that was real. It just felt fake.
“Don’t kill him. I realized that maybe I’m getting over him though. That was kinda too shitty for even my rose-colored glasses to ignore.”
“Good! You can do like sooooo much better.”
“It’s different. You’ve got Suzie, who’s great and you guys fit great. I don’t know if I’ll ever find that, I’m probably just going to die alone.” Will lied down and groaned into his pillow, oh so dramatically. God he and Eddie need to hang out, the theatrics would go on for days.
“Well, that’s bullshit. Like I told you, Kinsey said 10% of the population is gay. 8% of the population has blue eyes. You meet plenty of people with blue eyes, I’m sure you’ll meet someone in the 10%” Dustin took a deep breath in, he hadn’t told anyone yet, it kind of just happened. “Also, Suzie and I broke up.”
“Damn, that sucks.”
“Yeah, she was really adamant about the Mormon thing, and she said if we had kids they’d have to be like full Mormons and I’d need to convert. I told her I couldn’t do that, and we decided it was for the best.” Dustin was pretty broken up about that, but he was expecting that.
“Well, plenty of fish in the sea. A whole 94% of women.” Will punched him in the shoulder.
He did read the book! Dustin thought.
“Or maybe 94% of women and 10% of men. I’m not ruling anything out just yet.”
Will’s jaw dropped. “Thank you, for telling me and trusting me with that.”
“Yeah. It’s whatever. Wanna watch Sword in the Stone Steve dropped it off today. It’s technically a new release for Hawkins because of the earthquake.”
“Sure”
Dustin called a party meeting at the Hopper’s place while Will and Joyce were going to the pharmacy to pick up his meds. Jonathan had been the one to suggest it, but Dustin needed to make sure this happened, and fairly soon.
Hopper was sitting at the table, which was weird. Both because he was way too skinny, and because he was alive.
“You forgot his birthday ?” He practically spat when they told him.
“I got him some cool pizza-” Jonathan had attempted (and absolutely failed at) defending himself.
“Pizza?” Hopper was almost hissing, which finally someone around here gets it .
“We had a lot going on-”
“It’s his birthday, how long does it take to say ‘Will, happy birthday, I love you, you’re great. I’m still broken up about the fact you died.’ Oh five seconds see” Max was about to pounce, Mike had better thank whatever God he believed in the Max was not physically able to pummel him into the ground.
“We need to do something for his birthday. Something big. Something really nice.” Jonathan said.
“Yes, that is incredibly obvious.” Erica snapped at him, and all Jonathan could do was nod.
“Okay, let’s figure out a plan.”
Getting the party ready for Will, while he was out shopping with Eddie was probably one of the worst experiences of his life.
At some point, Dustin sat down at the table. “To think, these are the saviors of the universe.” He said, mostly to himself.
“Yeah, well. Now we know what’s harder. Throwing a surprise party or interdimensional monsters.” Hop laughed into his mug of coffee
“Suprise party, hands down,” Steve groaned as he put a few cakes in the oven. “Hey, Dustin wanna take a break real quick and do a quick perimeter check with me?”
Dustin nodded and they started walking through the woods.
“I have something to tell you. Something important. I’ve known this for a while and I wanted to let you know a while ago, but life got in the way.” Steve had slowed down, and Dustin kind of knew what to expect. He and Eddie had been dating. He kind of wished Eddie would have also been there to tell him, but he gets it. “I’m bisexual.”
“Cool.” Dustin smiled, giving him some thumbs up.
“Cool?” Steve had that look on his face like when he quoted a book or something.
“Yeah, I mean what do you want me to say?”
“I don’t know! I just wasn’t expecting ‘cool’!” Steve practically squealed.
“You know I’m cool with Doug and Eddie, why wouldn’t I be cool with you?” Dustin shook his head in disbelief.
“Yeah well. I like Eddie.”
“Yeah, I mean I hope you like your boyfriend.” Dustin laughed. Steve stopped walking at that. He was frozen.
“We’re not dating.” Steve said it very curtly.
“You’re kidding?!” Dustin was in absolute shock, that could not be true.
“No. We are not, I wish but I thought he and Doug were dating.”
“Were! Steve, WERE! They dated in Doug’s senior year, and they broke up like two years ago now.” Dustin slapped his forehead. This was so dumb. Why was Steve so dumb. “He calls you big boy! Like all the time!”
“He’s just being friendly!”
“That’s friendly?!” Dustin did not believe his ears. This was ridiculous.
“Shut up.” Steve said softly kicking Dustin’s shoe.
“I think I’m also bisexual,” Dustin said breathing out. He wasn’t sure, but it felt like a good time to say that.
“Cool.” Steve said with a laugh. Dustin rolled his eyes.
“I might like Will,” Dustin said really quietly.
“Well, just make sure you’re sure before you do anything. That would really suck, especially if you did it today.” Steve gave him a serious look.
“Of course,” Dustin let out a little huff. “Wait till you hear what Mike said on his actual birthday.”
Steve just groaned, knowing it was going to be bad.
When Will walked in and they all saw his new look when they jumped out for the first time, Dustin knew for sure. Yep. He liked Will. Goth Will in particular. Steve gave him a look, and Dustin was ready to punch him in the face. But he had pressing matters. Like the fact they were all circling Will, shouting because he looked SO GOOD in the new look.