Chapter Text
Oak benches spun around the overhanging bar like spherical bands. Stacks of empty glasses were piled neatly behind the counters, surrounded by alcoholic chutes. Saul stood in the corner, his hands under running water. Droplets of liquid from the grubby glasses trickled down his fingers. He watched as the liquid hit the drain and flushed away into nothingness.
“Hello?” someone called from the front of the bar. Saul peered his head out to see a cheerful man swaying his arms towards the bar.
“Hey, Cap. How are you?” Saul stated, smiling as he brushed his towel against the sink
.
“I’m well, thanks. How ‘bout you, Saul? Haven’t seen ya in awhile.” Captain Falcon beamed, taking a seat in front of Saul.
“Eh. So-so. Anyways, are you expecting someone or-?”
“Mhm! Kirb and Link. Should be here in about-”
The front door slams wide open, a confident figure revealing his face to the empty void of a bar
.
“HELLO GENTLEMEN!” Link proudly exclaims, shuffling over to Saul and Cap. He crossed his legs while walking, which ultimately leads to his inevitable trip, his head banging against the chairs.
“Nice one dumbass.” Cap chuckles.
“I’m just messin’. Here’s a hand,” he states, before reaching his hand out to lift Link up. Link simpers, taking the hand with pleasure.
“Sorry guys, in one of those moods, y’know?” Link ushers, flailing his arms about while getting a grip on the bench.
“Oh, we can tell,” Saul states, babbling to himself while turning around to grab a few glasses.
Another small body enters the room, striding over to the bench.
“Hey Kirby, how’s it hanging?” Saul says, placing three glasses on the counter. Kirby nods, lifting himself up.. Cap and Link watch in amusement as the 8-inch pink sphere hops on to the chair with ease.
“I’m doing alright, Saul. Hey Cap. Hey Link.” Kirby said simply.
“Could I just grab a coke? Not in an alcohol mood.” Kirby asserted promptly. He flicked through his messages for a moment before turning to face the others.
They were stunned. Link was grinning and Cap had his jaw to the ground.
“You? No alcohol?” Link smirked. Cap was still frozen.
Saul snickered, before pouring a bottle of coke into the glass.
Link tapped Saul’s shoulder behind the counter. Saul swivelled his head slightly. “Be with you in a second.”
A few minutes went by and Kirby was happily sipping on his coke.. Cap watched in amusement as Link chatted with Saul.
“Could I get a lemonade in a cup that isn’t see-through?” Link softly spoke. Saul looked at him as if he had two heads
.
“Sorry, what? All I got was ‘in a cup that isn’t see through.”
“A…lemonade,” Link scoffed, stroking his throat. No notice from Cap and Kirby. He sighed. Saul glared at him
.
“Speak up. I can’t hear a thing you’re saying.”
Link whipped out a slip of paper. A pen lay in his front pocket and he slowly scribbled the contents of his drink.
Saul read it with ease and stared up at him.
“Why are you-”
“Just…get me the drink, Saul.” Link said, pleading. Saul nodded slowly, and pivoted around to the counter.
The three sat together in harmony, laughing about the pranks Sonic pulled on Chrom earlier that day, and the reaction of Chrom as he chased Sonic around the mansion with a roll of toilet paper. Cap sipped on a peroni while Link slurped down his hidden lemonade behind his back. Kirby sat comfortably in the middle, finishing another glass of coke.
“Anyway, guys. Forgot to ask you. Any of you started preparation for the upcoming comp?” Kirby asked, leaning his head on the bench.
“Nope, but Master Hand says it's serious. He’s talking about prizes and like massive audiences and shit. I’m not entirely sure of the details.” Link muttered, slowly quaffing on his drink.
“I have. Me, Cloud an’ Mac have been working our asses off for the past…week and a half.” Cap conveyed proudly.
Saul slid a glass of gin over to Cap. He gulped it down with enforced might, his cheeks smothered in bubbles. “Thanks!”
Kirby giggled before handing his glass to Saul.
“That’s all I want today, Saul. Add it to my card, will you?” Kirby said, delivering his card over to Saul’s bench.
Link spluttered, lemonade landing on his pants. “Hold on, hold on. Don’t take that card, Saul.” Link said, anger welling in his eyes.
Kirby looked at him puzzled.“What makes you think you’re paying for that?”
“Well, I gave him my card first – guess I’m paying,” Kirby shrugged, a smile shooting across his face.
“Nuh uh!” Link exclaimed, chucking his card at Saul. Saul glared at him, then placed the card upon the register.
Kirby leapt over the counter, snatching the card and bounded back. He quickly replaced the card, and sat neatly in his seat, a smug grin rippling his face.
“Aha! Props to being absolutely tiny!”
Link scowled and slumped his arms over the counter in a huff.
Cap stared at them, an odd look arousing his face. “You guys realise you’re fighting over money, right?”
“Oh who gives a hoot, Cap!” Link yelled, sipping the last drop of his lemonade. Kirby smiled.
Saul faced the trio and pronounced the bill. “Two glasses of coke, one glass of gin and a glass of lemonade That’s-”
“HOLD UP!” Cap bellowed, shuffling his body around to look Link directly in the eyes.
“You ordered a lemonade?” Kirby’s non-existent eyebrows raised.
Link sputtered, trying to form a phrase that would be suitable to explain.
“What happened to being a ‘straight-up alcohol dude’ eh?” Cap retorted.
Link slapped his hands firmly on the bench. “ALRIGHT, HERE’S THE DEAL-“
They had their eyes fixated on Link. Even Saul.
“WELL I- never really liked alcohol,” he said, slouching back in his chair. “It just tastes so…rusty – so…alcohol-y.”
Link stared openly into a void of nothing but crazed faces and worried looks. Saul passed Kirby the bill while his eyes still watched Link with sheer interest.
“Guys, you can stop looking at me as if I killed someone now – that’s the end of it.”
“Fucking shit.” Kirby said sternly, his small spherical hands clasping his head. Cap raised a brow.
“What’s up?”
“Master Hand.”
“What about him?” Link yawned, his head leaning on the bench.
“A meeting. He’s hosting a meeting.”
“And?”
“We’re fucking meant to be there.”
A swirl of hands rested on the bench. Two jaws splattered on the ground.
“Holy shit, HOLY SHIT!” Link shrieked, his body plunging to the floor. Cap sat motionless, his frail body quivering.
Saul hurriedly gave Kirby his card back and watched the three of them race out the door.
He smiled, wiping more glasses as he watched the clutter of hallway doors swing open.
“Crazy boys, they are.” he beamed, stacking more cups upon a mantel.
The sound of heavy footsteps across freshly cut grass echoed throughout the province. Captain Falcon was in the lead, his long legs and large torso giving him a slight advantage. He wasn’t any match for Kirby though, who bounded through the grass like a flash of lightning. Link may appear slow and youthful, but he was just as fast as the others. Eventually, they caught up to each other, darting under bridges and stone fountains.
The view of the mansion was at full display, its marvelous palette of bright colours and luminescent structures bursting through the sky. Master Hand’s voice could be heard booming through the main hall.
The trio drew closer and closer to the main entrance, and when they finally reached a hand for the door and bombarded their bodies through the main hall entrance, all eyes were on them.
“Anyone wanna go back to Saul’s?” Link buzzed, his mouth staying fairly closed.
“Care to explain your absence?” Master Hand solemnly stated. Cap saw Samus out of the corner of his eye, who was shaking her head and smirking. Cap smiled.
“What’s so funny, Mr Falcon? I asked you a question. I expect an answer-”
“We were out collecting strawberries, Master. In the gardens just east of the mansion.” Kirby gulped. A few laughs rang out from the back.
“Quiet! Is that so, Kirby? Maybe I shall call up Saul’s to see where you’ve really been.”
“You don’t need to do that!” Link blurted, his hands wrapped around his lower back.
“Kirby is most definitely right. You see, it’s a new hobby of ours. We make gift baskets out of ‘em. Hand the gift baskets out to children in Smash City. Right, Cap?” Link claimed.
Cap scowled at Link, before facing Master Hand with his shoulders shaking.
“That’s correct, Master. We got sidetracked today, lost track of time.”
Master Hand strided over to the three terrified smashers, with their faces paler than ghosts.
“May I see said baskets?”
“We don’t have them with us today, Master. We left them down at…Town Hall in a secret room so…the children don’t steal them!” Kirby proclaimed.
Master Hand flicked himself around to face the rest of the smashers.
“Let this be a lesson to all of you. Don’t ever be late to gatherings. You’ll end up like these strawberry-picking delinquents.”
The three hung their heads in shame while the group snickered. While it appeared as if they were truly embarrassed, they were grinning the whole time.
“Anyways, you missed the entire meeting. Now you have to rely on your peers for the entire announcement.” Master Hand declared, dismissing the group.
“Shit!” Link howled, tugging on the fabric of his pants.
“Ain’t nobody gonna tell us anything! They’ll just laugh at us!”
“Well, I mean, let’s be honest here. Are we really certain it was something that was actually…meaningful?” Kirby disclosed, holding his hands out in front of him.
“No. But it could’ve been the upcoming comp! And do you really want to miss out on info about that? ‘Specially since you guys are already behind.”
Link and Kirby shook their heads.
“Guess we’re gonna have to figure it out the hard way,” Link suggested, slowly drawing his sword from his side.
Kirby followed, pulling out a live super waddle doo.
“Whoa whoa whoa. Ain’t nobody slicing people and…eating weird alien creatures, okay? We’ll figure it out later. Right now, I have a training session to attend. I’ll see you losers later!” Cap said, racing off.
Link watched him dash around corners.
“How does he still have energy after running a whole city block?”
No response.
“Kirb?” Link said, swivelling around. Kirby was gone. It was as if he was never even there.
“Huh.” Link muttered, strolling off by himself.
“Stupid strawberry-picking, link-ditching, gin-drinking idiots.” Link scowled, crossing his arms as he walked.