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Upon hearing the rattling of hurried knocks at an ungodly hour of midnight, Kaeya paced towards the door of his house, his weapon ready at hand. Opening the door, he wasn’t sure if he should have felt relief or worry.
“Elzer,” he said, slight surprise bleeding into his voice. Before he could ask the man his reason for showing up in front of his house at such an odd hour, he started talking.
“Master,” his worried tone and expression did little to help Kaeya’s unease. “It’s about Master Diluc.”
Kaeya felt his stomach churn after hearing Diluc’s name, but he was unsure of the exact reason. Diluc had only came back to Mondstadt recently, but Kaeya hadn’t seen the tycoon even once, and to his knowledge, no one else had either. It seemed like he was trying to avoid the public for whatever reason. Maybe he didn’t have the heart to face Mond and its citizens after so long. Or maybe he was just that desperate to avoid Kaeya. They had kept contact during Diluc’s time away, but Diluc’s replies to Kaeya’s letters had come to an abrupt stop in the last few months of his journey. Kaeya had assumed that had something to do with that time the glow of the pyro allogene’s vision had almost fully snuffed out, giving Kaeya one of the biggest terrors of his life. So, he had just let it be, and Diluc had come back a few months after that incident, so he had come to the conclusion that he probably just needed some time to himself, or something like that. Seeing Elzer now, coming to him of all people to probably seek help, he wasn’t so sure of his guess anymore.
Elzer awkwardly waited for some kind of reaction from the captain, but he was only rewarded with silence, so he continued, “Ever since his return, he has been acting differently, and of course, we understand that he has all the rights to feel the way he does, specially-”
The butler suddenly cut himself off and Kaeya scowled slightly, but he didn’t interrupt the man.
“Adelinde has been constantly fretting over his behavior, and today she finally lost her temper and scolded him for not accepting our help. They ended up arguing, but it didn’t last long before Master got too fed up and left the manor unexpectedly.”
That was weird. From what Kaeya remembered, both the head maid and the winery’s master used to be very good at keeping their calm demeanor. It seemed logical that they had both become more irritable after everything that happened, but still, breaking into a full-blown argument seemed unlikely. Adelinde wouldn’t call Diluc out on his stubbornness without good reason. There was a piece missing here.
Kaeya wanted to point out that with their number, the winery staff would obviously have an easier time finding their master than him alone. But considering the hour, that plan had most probably already failed, which seemed to be the reason that the butler had shown up here.
“And? You expect me to go and look for him? You do notice that he isn’t a child anymore, Elzer? And even if I do go look for him, according to what you told me, he is already quite agitated. I doubt he would really appreciate seeing me.”
During the whole conversation, Elzer had avoided looking Kaeya in the eye, but he finally brought his head back up to fully face the captain. “I know this probably sounds pretty absurd to you, and for that, I’m deeply sorry. But please, Master, it has to be you. We have all tried, but it has been to no avail. Please…”
Kaeya knew he wasn’t just talking about finding Diluc. He didn’t like Elzer’s pleading tone, and this whole conversation had made him rather worried, so he finally accepted to help.
“Alright, but you owe me,” he teased to lighten up the mood. Elzer’s miserable expression finally gave its place to a more hopeful one and he told the captain that he’ll keep that in mind and that they were all grateful to him for going out of his way to help them out.
“Oh, also, please use this once you find Master,” he handed the knight a leather bag that he was previously holding, which Kaeya hadn’t took notice of. Curious, he brought a hand to the bag’s latch to check its contents, but he was stopped by Elzer grabbing his wrist.
“Master, please only open it at the time I mentioned.”
Kaeya’s brows pinched together, obviously suspicious of the man’s actions.
“There is something you aren’t telling me,” he accused. The white-haired man visibly winced at that, but he still didn’t add anything more to enlighten Kaeya.
“Well, you better have a good reason for hiding whatever it is you are hiding, dear Elzer.”
His tone was slightly harsh when he said that. He didn’t like being asked for help and then be left out of the details, but they had already wasted enough time so he didn’t push for further information from the man.
“Okay, I’ll be on my way as soon as I’m ready. You can get back to the winery,” he smiled. “And please, don’t worry. I’m bringing that big baby back home as soon as I can.”
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When they were younger, Diluc used to go Wolvendom whenever he needed some peace of mind and alone time. He really liked the lamp grasses there. When they were kids, the older boy was afraid of the dark, so he would always keep a few lamp grasses in a pot to slightly illuminate his bedroom.
Kaeya thought that maybe his sleep-deprived mind had dragged him there in a weird and sudden rush of nostalgia, but it was still his best bet. And upon noticing the familiar crimson mane reflecting the lamp grasses’ glow, he was pleased to see that he had been right. The red-haired man was leaning against a tree surrounded by the glowing flowers, his back to the captain. Kaeya couldn’t help but feel incredibly awkward despite the trouble he had gone through to find the other man. They hadn’t seen each other in person for around four years, and at the time of their parting, they hadn’t been on the best terms either. Still, Kaeya had a promise to keep. And it wasn’t like he hadn’t missed Diluc, either…At least his was a good excuse to talk to him, considering how he was avoiding everyone like the plague.
He slowly approached the man, trying to think of a way to make his presence clear without startling the red head. Yet, he ended up stepping on a twig, which snapped under the pressure. Diluc hurriedly turned around, recklessly pointing his claymore at Kaeya’s direction. Which made Kaeya notice the bandages covering his eyes. What? Was he injured? Was that what Elzer was keeping from him all along? Kaeya lifted the leather bag’s lid, taking a peek inside. Ah. A first aid kit.
“Who is it?”
Weirdly enough, Diluc sounded scared. That was very unlike the usually collected man. But at the same time, Kaeya guessed it made sense, considering that he probably couldn’t see through the bandages. How ridiculously carless of him, leaving the winery in such a condition. The staff were right to be extremely worried about their reckless employer. He wondered if this had been the subject that caused his argument with Adelinde in the first place. Though, it was impressive how he had managed to make it that far without any help.
Kaeya brought up his hands in mock surrender, momentarily forgetting that the other couldn’t see him.
“Well, well Master Diluc! Hello to you as well!”
Upon hearing the familiar smooth voice, the red head winced, sending a pang of guilt through Kaeya’s chest.
“Kaeya?”
Kaeya was shocked to hear Diluc sound so broken and watery. And he couldn’t help but panic internally, questioning the way he had approached their first direct conversation in years, and considering his brother’s vulnerable state as well.
“Is it really you?”
He still seemed suspicious of Kaeya’s true identity, still pointing his weapon at him.
“Of course, who else could it be? A shapeshifter or something?” He chuckled, hoping to ease Diluc’s stress.
Kaeya approached his guarded brother, using one hand to lower the blade and the other to grab Diluc’s hand holding on to its hilt. His eyes stinged upon the contact, feeling the familiar, yet now different skin under his touch. Diluc’s hand had been scarred when they were younger too, due to how often he had trained since a very young age, but still not to its current extent. But despite that, it still had the same warm and soft sensation Kaeya remembered. It used to be his source of comfort when he was troubled, even after they had grown much older.
Diluc seemed to have recognized the sensation of Kaeya’s touch as well, dismissing his weapon a few seconds later. The younger couldn’t fully read his emotions because of the covered eyes. Diluc brought up his hands, reaching for what Kaeya assumed was his face. So, he took them and guided them to his cheeks, letting his brother feel his facial features. After a few moments, to Kaeya’s shock, Diluc’s lips started wobbling and he brought up the back of his hands to his bandaged eyes as he took in a shaky breath. Kaeya stopped him before he could touch the bandages.
“Woah! Maybe don’t do that, yeah?” He said gently.
Before he knew it, his brother latched onto him, making them both fall to their knees, and then pushing his face in the curve of Kaeya’s neck, futilely trying to muffle his dry sobs. Kaeya was completely caught off-guard, unsure of how to react to such an unexpected reaction.
“Hey! hey! It’s alright. I’ve got you.”
His hands awkwardly hovered for a few moments before he brought them down to Diluc’s shoulder blades, pulling him closer.
“Come on, this can’t be good for your injury.”
Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say, because the man’s body started racking with sobs even more than before. At this point Kaeya was starting to feel completely helpless. Had Diluc actually missed him that much? Or was it the injury causing him pain? Whatever the case, they just sat there for a while as Kaeya rocked them back and forth, rubbing Diluc’s back to comfort him. Eventually, Diluc calmed down enough for Kaeya to let go of him. They both felt exhausted.
“Okay, now we really need to change those bandages of yours.”
He put his hand on Diluc’s.
“May I?”
Diluc gave him a small nod, which was barely noticeable.
Kaeya felt his hands tremble as he started to unwrap the white cloth, not sure of the extent of the injury. Nothing could have braced him for the sight before him. His breath caught in his throat and he wanted to throw up. The upper part of his brother’s face was marred by a long, white scar that stretched over his eyes. His formerly brilliant red eyes that Kaeya always adored, now white and lifeless. The tear tracks on his face and the white cloth were both tainted with a pale red due to his crying.
“Diluc…”
He caressed his brother’s cheek with a shaky hand.
“What did this to you?” He whispered.
Because whatever had done that to his brother’s delicate face could not have been human. Diluc didn’t answer, instead he smiled bitterly, leaning his head on Kaeya’s chest.
“I had gravely missed you, you know?”
He let out a sad chuckle, his voice hoarse from crying.
“There was nothing I wanted more than to see you again.”
Kaeya was at a loss for words, so he just listened.
“But I suppose I didn’t deserve that, after what I did to you. Ironic, isn’t it?”
“Don’t say that…And you already know my eye is fine.”
“You say that like it’s the only harm I ever caused you,” Diluc muttered with a bitter tone. “I wish I could have been as forgiving as you.”
Kaeya couldn’t let this continue, so he grabbed his older brother’s shoulders, straightening him and then holding his face in his hands.
“Stop making it sound like you were the only one at fault. I messed up big time too. If only I hadn’t been so selfish, maybe you wouldn’t have suffered like this. Maybe this would have never happened to you-”
His speech came to a halt as Diluc tightly grabbed his wrists.
“Yes, maybe both of us are to blame for the things that happened on that night. But this is something I brought upon myself by my own foolishness. Don’t. You. Dare stupidly blame my little brother for something that has absolutely nothing to do with him, understand?”
Kaeya nodded before thinking, but then remembered that he had to voice it to get the message across.
“Yeah…”
“Can we maybe…talk about all of this later? I think I’ve hit my limit for the night,” he laughed quietly.
Kaeya started to attend to the injury, disinfecting it before starting to bandage it again.
“Just one last question and I promise I’ll leave it there.”
“Depends on the question, but do ask.”
Kaeya hesitated, mustering up the courage to ask the question again.
“How did this happen? Just give me a short answer, please. I won’t be able to stop thinking about it.”
Diluc’s mouth formed into a straight line, visibly uncomfortable with the subject.
“I…had a run in with some harbingers.”
“What?!” Kaeya exclaimed. He was exasperated and ended up tightening the cloth a little too hard which gained a pained gasp from the injured man.
“Ah, sorry…I won’t push you for now, but know that this conversation is far from over. That’s not something I can easily ignore, you know?”
“I understand.”
Once Kaeya was done dressing the wound, he finally got off the rough ground with a pained groan, pulling the bag’s strap over his shoulder. He hauled Diluc up by his hands, and kept his hold on one to guide his brother through the woods. They walked slow enough for Diluc to find his footing and not stumble over rocks and thick tree roots.
“Why do you refuse your staff’s help? They are practically family to you. Do you really not trust them? They truly just want the best for you. You would be surprised at how panicked Elzer was when he showed up in front of my house and hour ago.”
Kaeya chose his words wisely, avoiding any words that had to do with sight. It was probably unnecessary and he was being too sensitive, but he didn’t want to even slightly upset his brother anymore. He didn’t need that.
Diluc sighed, “I just don’t want to feel helpless. Relying on others after four years of handling everything on my own…it just feels so overwhelming. I really don’t want to hurt them, but it’s what I end up doing anyway. I’ve been so selfishly harsh recently…”
He sounded genuinely sorry.
“I guess you guys just have to talk it out. They will understand, Diluc. They know that you are having it rough,” he said as he squeezed Diluc’s hand. His brother squeezed back. Kaeya took that as an affirmative gesture.
Their walk on the way back to the winery was quite peaceful and uneventful, weirdly enough for Wolvendom. As they exit the woods, Kaeya broke the silence once more.
“Why did you come all the way here anyway? And how?” He questioned with a slightly teasing tone.
Diluc faced towards the sky he couldn’t see, while answering.
“Well, I wanted to be alone of course, and I remembered Wolvendom to have been a comforting place to younger me. Funnily enough, it seemed like I knew the way by muscle memory. I did use my claymore for support, but it wasn’t exactly the most suitable tool,” he huffed a laugh. “When I got to the woods, narrating my way was easier thanks to the lamp grasses’ glow. I can still sense light to some extent. Getting over the obstacles though…”
Kaeya let out a soft giggle at that.
“I see. That’s quite impressive. But maybe you should try learning to use a polearm? That would be a much handier weapon in your case. I learned some skills from Rosaria, so maybe I could help you out if you want to give it a go.”
Kaeya wasn’t foolish enough to hope for the older to fully give up on battle. That wouldn’t do his mental state any good either. It was his main strength after all.
“I would like that,” the red head muttered with a smile.
Seeing his brother’s genuine smile warmed up his heart. He smiled back, hoping that Diluc could somehow feel his delight.
The winery had started to come into view, but they still had some time before reaching their destination.
“Remember the early days after father took me in? There were so many things that were new to me, and I had never seen them in my life. And I couldn’t really speak your tongue properly either, which was a real hassle. I felt so scared and lonely, left in an unfamiliar place with a bunch of strangers.”
reminiscing about those pleasant memories, they both smiled fondly.
“But you would take my hand and drag me everywhere, excitedly explaining new and unknown things to me. I couldn’t really understand you, despite your ridiculous efforts at body language,” he snorted. “Still, your presence was oddly comforting to me, I didn’t feel as lost and lonely when you were around. I was truly grateful, despite the constant guilt,” he said facing the ground.
He then came to a sudden stop, turning around and grabbing both of Diluc’s hands.
“I know you don’t like it when it’s dark, Diluc. I know you hate being left alone in it,” he said as he tightened his grip.
“You were the light in my life when I was left in the darkness and nothing made sense. Please, will you let me be the same for you?”
He heard the hitch in Diluc’s breath and then he quickly pulled him close for the second time that night. His older brother entangled his fingers in the cloth of the younger’s shirt, unwilling to let go.
Diluc asked with a wobbly voice, muffled by the younger one’s jacket, “Will you stay tonight?”
And Kaeya answered with a soft voice, “I’ll stay as long as you want me to.”