Chapter Text
“Citizens of the Republic!” Palpatine announced, on the holonet live, entirely unaware of the Skywalker twins hiding in the corner waiting for their opportunity to strike. “As you have seen recently on the holonet, the Jedi have been plotting to overthrow the Republic! Yes, I know, it is quite tragic. They have gone to extreme lengths to create the illusion that people have time traveled from the future, all in the name of convincing the world that I am an evil Sith Lord!”
“How much longer are we going to let him go on?” Leia asked impatiently.
“Shh, Leia. Father said we’d know when the time was right,” Luke reminded her.
“No, he didn’t. He said to just charge him with a lightsaber,” Leia argued.
“...Which father are you talking about?”
“Former Sith Father.”
“I’m talking about Jedi Father.”
“Oh. When you said we should follow Father’s plan, I thought we were talking about the same plan!” Leia hissed.
“Me too! Well…” Luke hesitated. “We’ll improvise!”
Leia sighed. “Brilliant plan, Luke. Nothing could go wrong with that.”
“Exactly!”
Leia shook her head at the hopelessness of her twin brother and shifted her Focus back to where Palpatine was elaborating on how the Jedi needed to be hunted down and defeated and yada yada yada.
“Okay, I’m feeling the time is now!” Luke told Leia.
“Great.” Leia stood up, grabbed her lightsaber, and charged Palpatine.
Luke stood up, chasing her. “Wait! Leia, I said improvise, not follow Former Sith Father’s plan!”
“This is me improvising!” Leia exclaimed as she swung her lightsaber at Palpatine on the live holonet, leaving him with no choice but to expertly block her with his own, having only his Force-enhanced reflexes to thank for saving his life.
Unfortunately for Sidious, the Force-reflexes and red lightsaber, both being currently shown on the live holonet, were proof that the time travel was real, the Jedi were right and everything Palpatine had said in the past ten minutes had been a speech full of lies and deception.
“See?” Leia said with a smug look at Luke. “Sometimes, Former Sith Father knows what he’s talking about.”
“I didn’t say he didn’t, I just said that I was trying to follow Jedi Father’s plan!” Luke whined. “Which is what I am now going to do.” Luke took the mic. “Citizens of the republic,” he said as Palpatine dusted himself off and tried to hide the fact that he was a Sith, which really was a futile objective at this point. “As you can see, this is a liar and a Sith. I’m Luke Skywalker, the son of Anakin Skywalker from the future. That’s my twin sister, Leia Amidala. She was actually raised by the Organas in the future, so if you’re watching this, that’s your future daughter, kind of! She chose to take the name of our mother, Padmé Amidala. Anyway, everything that Jedi Father said on the holonet about a week ago now was true, and if this doesn’t prove that I have no idea what does. I mean, the Jedi ran genetics tests on Leia and I, and we’re definitely Anakin and Padmé’s children, despite not being that much younger than them. So that’s proof enough, right? Anyway, I’m not great at this giving speeches thing, but we’re going to kill the Sith now. Have a good day.” With that, Luke pulled out his lightsaber, which he had only recently constructed (at the same time as Leia), and also attacked Sidious.
While Sidious was a powerful Sith Lord and Luke and Leia were just twin teenagers who had recently gotten lightsabers and been given superficial training, between the camera flashes, the confusion, and Palpatine’s panic over having been exposed, he was dead pretty quickly. Luke and Leia still aren’t sure if they killed him when they stabbed him in the chest from opposite sides in unison, or if he was already dying from a heart attack before they did that.
Either way, Sidious was dead.
Luke and Leia deactivated their lightsabers, dusted themselves off, and smiled for the cameras. The press seriously was going to eat this up. Leia took the mic, and said, “By the way, I think Mother should be the new Chancellor. She rules.” Luke and Leia then exited the scene, camera flashes following them all the way back to the Jedi temple.
At the temple, they were immediately greeted by a very grumpy looking Mace Windu. “Young Skywalkers.” Leia coughed. “Young Skywalker and Amidala. Why was I not informed of this… plan, that I just witnessed take place on the holonet?”
“That’s cause it was Father’s plan,” Luke explained brightly. “And he doesn’t like you guys very much!”
Windu’s frown deepened, and he leveled a glare at them both, which deterred neither twin. “ Which father?”
“Both!” Leia exclaimed. “It was Former Sith Father’s idea to charge him with a lightsaber,” she began.
“...And Jedi Father’s idea to give a confusing speech to the holonet so everyone’s just too bewildered to not believe us!” Luke finished.
Master Windu stared at them for a moment. Then he dialed someone on his comm. “Is this Han Solo?”
“Yeah, hi, Mace. Let me guess. Skywalker antics?”
“Yes. Too much of them. You wanna go for a drink or ten?”
“Absolutely. I’m done playing cards with Darth Vader, I know he’s cheating. Sorry, sorry, Former Sith Anakin! And of course I believe you weren’t cheating!” Han sighed. “Meet you there.”
And with that, Jedi Master Mace Windu walked off to the bar to meet Han Solo and attempt to drink the Skywalker problems away.
“Huh. That was easy!” Luke said brightly. “Come on, let’s go inside. I bet we can beat Former Sith Father in cards, cheating or not. Then you can rub it in Han’s face.”
Leia got a mischievous gleam in her eyes. “I like that idea.”
Now it was Luke’s turn to look mischievous. “Maybe he’ll be impressed and you two will finally go out on a date!”
Leia’s face fell and she blushed furiously. “I do not want to go out with Han Solo!”
“Yeah, yeah, sure. Sure you don’t. OW! ”
“That’s for insinuating that I like Han Solo!!”
“You didn’t have to hit me that hard!”
“Yes I did, I’m your sister.”
The bickering continued as they made their way into the Jedi temple, both of them entirely oblivious to the fact that technically they just assassinated the Chancellor of the Republic with absolutely no legal grounds.
And they would never come to this realization that they were criminals because literally no one would care.