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Starry sky, eyes on me

Summary:

Jon had never noticed it, to be honest. It was... sudden, like the blink of an eye. The moment before they were on patrol as usual, and the next moment... the next moment, sitting on the roof of their favorite building with their usual hamburger, Damian's genuine laughter made him miss a beat and he hopelessly thought how good it was to hear him really laugh, to hear the happiness and fun in that laughter instead of the usual sarcasm. And at that point Jon began to think he was screwed 'cause he imagined how good it would be to hear Damian laugh like that all the time, and especially with him.

Work Text:

    Around them there's only silence, palpable and deafening under the blanket of stars that illuminates Kansas on that hot summer night.

    Lying on the damp grass, arms crossed behind their heads and in total silence even between them, they enjoy those moments of absolute calm, and neither of them seems to want to break the thin veil between them. If he closes his eyes and concentrates, however, Jon knows that the countryside is more alive than he wants to seem: the chirping of crickets, that of cicadas, a few dogs barking from a farm not far away; Jon can hear all this only 'cause of his super-hearing, but he concentrates just enough to isolate any sound except Damian's heart. It's a steady beat, a slow, relaxed tum-ta that over the years he has learned to recognize among a thousand others, though he's ashamed to admit that simple truth to his best friend.

    It's been six years since they first met, so it shouldn't be strange that he knows his heartbeat by now, but the knowledge that he can always feel Damian as if he were by his side, know how he feels and what he feels just by listening to his heart, embarrasses and forces him to keep his mouth shut, 'cause he's afraid that confessing it might make him confess even things he's not yet ready to admit, either to himself or to Damian. Especially to Damian. And it also makes his heart beat furiously, and he's always grateful that his friend doesn't possess his powers and cannot realize the nervousness he feels in his presence that he has only recently begun to come to terms with.

    Jon had never noticed it, to be honest. It was... sudden, like the blink of an eye. The moment before they were on patrol as usual, and the next moment... the next moment, sitting on the roof of their favorite building with their usual hamburger, Damian's genuine laughter made him miss a beat and he hopelessly thought how good it was to hear him really laugh, to hear the happiness and fun in that laughter instead of the usual sarcasm. And at that point Jon began to think he was screwed 'cause he imagined how good it would be to hear Damian laugh like that all the time, and especially with him.

    A thought that has made his head ache for days, weeks, months, and now that they are there in Smallville, at his grandparents' house, Jon can't help but think that he would like to see Damian so happy every day. His gaze is turned to the sky, occasionally whispering something in such a low voice that even Jon can hardly hear him, and he talks about the constellations, sometimes even pointing to one without ever taking his eyes off the sky; it almost seems as if the stars are shining in those green eyes, and Jon bites his lip to keep from stating that phrase aloud. Damian's mouth is curved into a smile, a small dimple at one side of it blends into the crease of his lips, and his heart beats as calmly as Jon has ever felt it in his life, and he continues to watch raptly as Damian continues to speak softly so as not to disturb that stillness, his face turned to the sky and his profile illuminated by the moonlight.

    Jon didn't think he would accept the proposal to spend the summer in Smallville before returning to school, and he could not contain his joy when Damian finally shrugged and simply told him it was okay. Going to see the stars was the next step, although Jon did nothing but stare raptly at Damian's face. Even there he thought Damian would mock him and claim he had better things to do, but instead they both found themselves lying on the grass, over the fence behind the barn, staring up at the sky dotted with stars. That night is particularly dark blue, a color they hardly get to see when they are in town, but Jon admits that at the moment the sky, the stars, or the moon do not interest him at all since he only has eyes for Damian.

    He smiles unconsciously at the same time that Damian does, and he hears him whisper something about the seven bright stars of Ursa Major, which, according to ancient Chinese legends he has studied - sometimes Jon tends to forget that Damian also has Chinese ancestry - represented the seven Entrances to the night sky and the seven doors of the heart, and Jon can't help but think that they weren't so wrong after all. There, lying together with Damian watching him gaze at the stars, he feels as if he has walked through one of those doors and is ready to open his heart a little, too. He could do that. He could tell Damian everything he feels, how he feels, the confusion and affection that overflows inside him day after day, and he is certain that Damian wouldn't blame him under any circumstances even if he did not reciprocate.

    It's at that moment that Damian turns around, looks at him as if finally realizing that he has done nothing but stare at him since they have been lying there and blinked, but against Jon's expectation, Damian lifts a corner of his mouth in an even bigger smile and he is almost sure that his cheeks have turned a little redder as his heartbeat quickens and his blood flow becomes more frantic. Whatever happened in reciprocating each other's gaze, whatever they are both feeling at that moment, they are sure it's not embarrassment or nervousness or a desire to go and hide as far away as possible, but a strange awkwardness that makes them feel good and pushes them closer together, sliding slowly across the grass.

    «You didn't listen to a single word, did you?»

    Damian's voice is still a whisper, a rustle that's lost in the cornfields and wanders far away among the countryside carried by the wind, but to Jon's ears it's crystal clear and makes him smile even more.

    «I listened to everything... but I didn't need to look up to see how beautiful the stars are.»

    The phrase comes spontaneously from his lips, reddening his freckle-spattered cheeks and coloring the tips of his ears, and for a moment he feels the overwhelming instinct to bite his tongue for fear of Damian's reaction, but the latter responds with his usual tongue-snapping under his palate, a faint “-Tt-” that Jon would recognize even if he plugged his ears, and his heart beats a little faster as he snuggles silently with his head against Jon's shoulder.

    They didn't need to say anything to each other, but it's as if they told each other everything, and Jon's heart suddenly becomes lighter as, smiling, he lowers his gaze to the short black mop covering Damian's head. Now that they are there, one against the other, Jon is certain of one thing: he may have flown among those celestial bodies together with his father, felt the sensation of being able to touch them and experienced the spectacular wonder of seeing the beauty of the earth from space... but no star in the firmament is as beautiful as it can be looked through Damian's green eyes.