Chapter Text
Yoichi hung up the phone, then scribbled a note on the counter.
“Who was calling our work phone number?” Sanzou asked as he entered the kitchen. The vigilante had his hair pulled back into his usual spikey ponytail. He wore casual jeans and a sweatshirt, instead of the combat gear from back when he and his leader had rescued Yoichi from the vault.
“Oh, I was just leaving a note about that before I headed out.” Yoichi looked up with a smile. “We’ve been asked to find a missing cat.”
“Is it the same owner as last time?” Sanzou snorted. “You’re too nice. I would have told her to pound sand after the fifth missing cat call. Tell her to get a damn collar with GPS.” As vigilantes, not professional heroes, they had the ability to pick and choose among the people who called them for help. Missing cats were generally not top priority.
“I don’t mind. Friends help out friends. I like her, I like all her cats, and she always lets me play with them afterward. It’s not her fault—Tigger is a little escape artist.” Yoichi smiled. “Plus she pays us, which most of our clients can’t afford.”
“Good point.” Sanzou stifled a yawn behind his hand. “The lady is loaded. Her pet blog must be very successful.”
“I’ve been making extra money appearing in her cat videos, too. She says that I always attract more viewers, so she lets me keep a share of the revenue. I’ve got to pay for my hair care products somehow.”
“Aren’t you worried about your brother seeing the videos and using them to track you down?”
“Eh, I don’t show my face or use my real name.” Yoichi shrugged. “Even if big brother saw and recognized me, he couldn’t do anything except fume that I’m having so much fun without him.” He winked. “She did take your suggestion about a GPS collar after last time. She’s just too busy to pick up Tigger herself. Afterward, she’s treating me to lunch at a cat café. I still shouldn’t be gone longer than two hours.”
“When you get back, tell Leader that I’m taking the day off from vigilante work.” Sanzou rolled his shoulders. “I slept funny, and now I have a terrible back ache. I was able to get an emergency spa appointment with a massage.”
“Ugh, sorry to hear it. Treat yourself! You deserve it!”
“I deserve it for putting up with all of you and Leader’s PDA,” Sanzou muttered.
Yoichi chuckled. “Be nice or I won’t send you my newest cat video.”
They both headed outside and went in different directions, Sanzou taking the truck and Yoichi walking to the park.
Yoshimune and Eitoku Nakanishi came from a long line of minions. Their family had sought out the strongest bad guys to serve since long before the first metapower had appeared and villains had become a thing outside comic books. The Nakanishis needed to constantly seek out new employers because theirs died at a prodigious rate, which had led to some unkind people suggesting that their family might be cursed to cause misfortune to any villain who employed them. However, Yoshimune and Eitoku felt confident they had finally broken the curse after finding the ultimate villain to serve: Destro, head of the Metahuman Liberation Army!
Yes, they’d applied to work for All for One. He’d ghosted them after their job interview.
Under Destro’s command, Yoshimune and Eitoku were known as the Bloodhound Twins. The siblings both had a metapower allowing them to find people and objects. According to their villainous résumé, their power became stronger when they worked together. (This was a slight embellishment to prevent villains from deciding they only needed to hire one sibling.) Destro had immediately sent them to find and capture All for One, his largest rival for power among metahumans. Soon, the twins’ humiliation would be avenged! All for One would regret turning down the ultimate minions!
The only problem was that ever since they’d interviewed with All for One, Yoshimune and Eitoku’s abilities hadn’t been working for some mysterious reason.
For the last five hours, the Nakanishi siblings had been followed by a team of fifty of Destro’s best warriors. (Destro himself mysteriously came down sick whenever he might have to fight All for One.) The group was getting restless. Yoshimune struck a dramatic pose with his hand on his forehead. He cried, “Ku ku ku! I feel All for One! He’s definitely close.”
“Yes, definitely,” Eitoku agreed, posing next to her brother. Since Destro very rarely hired women in any position except cleaning work, she was trying twice as hard to prove herself. “I sense a strong evil! A very strong evil!”
The burly men in black suits glared at the twins. They’d wasted the last hour wandering around a large public park, going in circles several time. The hot summer sun had put the group in an even fouler mood. Destro’s men had dressed in civilian clothes to avoid police attention. Unfortunately, they’d picked suits with lots of layers, now soaked in sweat. A man with bull horns muttered, “Are we sure those two are metahuman?”
Eitoku tensed. Destro was not the sort of master who tolerated failure. (Very few villains were, hence why all the Nakanishis had excellent life insurance policies.) In particular, Destro hated those he referred to as “apes faking superiority,” aka people who had mutations causing unusual hair or eye colors but no metapowers. He’d murdered dozens of his own members who’d turned out to be mutants but not metahumans.
The twins locked eyes, conveying a shared desperation. Then they looked in all directions for someone, anyone with white hair.
A skinny young man with straight white hair falling over one green eye inched down a tree branch, reaching for a stuck cat. In a gentle voice, he said, “Here, kitty kitty.” He held out his hand. The Bengal kitten puffed up and hissed.
Pointing, Eitoku shouted, “That’s All for One!” The man’s face even looked rather similar to All for One’s. Surely her ability had finally worked! She did not question why All for One would climb up a tree to save a cat.
Destro’s men leapt at the tree, activating all their metapowers at once. With fifty attackers, several hit each other in their mad frenzy. The tree was burned to cinders. The young man grabbed the kitten. As he fell, he rolled his body to hit the ground first and protect the kitten in his arms. The impact knocked him unconscious.
Everyone stared at the white-haired man crumpled on the ground. Eitoku had a suspicion that most of these men hadn’t expected to find All for One and didn’t dare fight the legendary villain.
Moving first, Yoshimune leapt forward and kicked the man. “Don’t let him wake up!” The kitten leapt away, limping on an injured paw.
Seeing the unconscious man not even fight back emboldened the others. Destro’s men piled on top of the presumed villain All for One, slapped him in stun cuffs, and carried him away.
For nearly a year, Hisashi Shigaraki had been brother-less. He’d reached the point where he was one more nightmare from lining up every last person in the city and killing anyone who wasn’t Yoichi. The bloodstains would have ruined his coat, so fortunately he’d found another solution first. Two idiots with the power to find people had shown up at a job interview, so he’d stolen their abilities then sent them on their way.
Alas, Hisashi had not yet figured out how to activate the ability. Most metapowers came easily to him, but this one must have some strange activation trigger. Perhaps he should have kept those two idiots around long enough to tell him. Or perhaps not. The Nakanishis had a certain reputation in villainous circles. Hisashi had been following online villain forums ever since he’d been a young child. Yoshimune and Eitoku Nakanishi had worked for nearly fifty criminals since high school, all of whom had met an unfortunate demise.
Most notably: Japan’s greatest jewel assassin had been found dead of poison, an international art thief had been brained by a falling painting, and a network of scam companies had all their information released online. No one could prove it had anything to do with the twins, but older members of the forum whispered that the Nakanishi family line was cursed to cause destruction to any villain who they served. Purely out of curiosity, Hisashi had done his own research and discovered that the first convenience store the Nakanishi twins had worked for had been shut down after a freak gerbil infestation. In elementary school, the twins had accidentally removed a ladder causing their teacher to fall, then the school lost the paperwork to expel them.
Hisashi didn’t believe in magical curses, but he did believe that those two were terrifyingly incompetent. So he’d mailed them a job advertisement for the Metahuman Liberation Army.
Alone in his office, Hisashi spent an hour trying to track down Yoichi using his stolen powers. At this rate, he’d either have to give the power to someone else to try—but he hated giving up powers, it felt like losing a limb—or see an information broker. But the best information broker in Japan was Reina Miura, who had a grudge against him for some insignificant reason. What had he done again? Stolen her metapower? Probably, that was the usual reason people hated him. It might be time to make peace with her, and maybe even give back her power if he could remember which one it was. Hisashi would make such great sacrifices for his dear little brother.
Machia threw open the door to Hisashi’s office. Tears poured down the giant man’s cheeks. He pounced on his boss and hugged him. He wailed, “Lord, you’ve been kidnapped! What am I going to do?”
Even with his supernatural strength, Hisashi strained to push the giant off him. “I’m right here, Machia. Do you think anyone in Japan could capture me?”
Machia gasped. “Of course not! I have committed the cardinal sin of doubting Lord. I must commit seppuku.” He turned around and marched for the door.
Hisashi grabbed his bodyguard’s shirt. “I order you to stay alive. You’re useful to me.”
Machia flung himself on Hisashi again. “Lord! I’m honored beyond words that you esteem me so highly!”
“Also, I need you to tell me about this supposed kidnapping.” Hisashi brushed Machia’s tears off his expensive silk shirt.
Machia stood straight and saluted. “We received a ransom note from the foolishly defiant Destro. He said that he had you in his clutches, and he would kill you unless your organization surrendered to him.”
Hisashi felt a headache coming along. “I suppose he spread this news across the underworld.” Machia’s loud voice had certainly informed everyone in the building. Hisashi stood up. “I’ll have to make a public appearance to counter Destro’s claims.” This would be a mess to sort out, but at least he’d make Destro look like an idiot.
Machia nodded vigorously. “Destro bragged about how you surrendered without a fight! He called you many bad names! He must be punished.”
Hisashi’s headache worsened. “Perhaps Destro’s head mounted on my wall would be an even more fitting proof.” If Destro truly believed his insane claim—and Destro believed all his own hype—then he would be taken completely off-guard by an attack. It was time for Hisashi to deal with this thorn in his side for once and for all.
“Machia, assemble a team to move against the MLA.” Hisashi rapidly gave Machia orders. As soon as the bodyguard left, Hisashi used an ability to mop the tears off the floor. He sat down again, opening his laptop to investigate Destro’s location.
The window smashed, sending glass shards into the computer monitor. Hisashi raised a glowing shield to protect himself.
Kaiji landed on the carpeted floor, crying, “All for One! Release Yoichi, or I’ll blow up this entire building!” He held up a remote control.
Although Hisashi usually didn’t remember the names of his enemies, he could never forget the scarred face and spikey hair of the man who had stolen his brother, and then stolen his brother’s stockpiling power: the second user of the power his foolish little brother had named “One for All.” (A blatant plagiarization of Hisashi’s own villain name.)
“I haven’t seen my little brother since you kidnapped him.” Normally, Hisashi would have committed murder by now, but a cold pit of fear had formed in his stomach. He needed answers slightly more than he needed the spikey-haired vigilante’s death. “Did something happen to Yoichi?”
“You don’t know?” Kaiji’s eyes narrowed. “You’re a goddamn liar! If anyone kidnapped Yoichi, then it would have to be you!”
“You’d be surprised,” Hisashi said wearily. “My little brother is exceptionally kidnappable. When he was in elementary school, so many people tried to drag him off into vans that I started blowing up every white van I saw in self-defense. In high school, every single talent agency in Japan tried to kidnap him and force him to sign a contract with them. He always had stalkers, but they escalated to more kidnappers by college. The fool never saw a crime scene he could leave alone, and it always ended with the criminals trying to take him hostage. Most recently, he got kidnapped by you.”
“That wasn’t a kidnapping, that was a rescue. You had Yoichi locked up in a creepy dark bank vault!”
Hisashi crossed his arms. “And you lost him. Maybe now you see the necessity of my bank vault. The only reason I haven’t killed you is so that you can give me information. When did you last see my brother?”
“I suppose if you’re the kidnapper, then I wouldn’t be telling you anything I didn’t already know.” Kaiji watched All for One’s face carefully as he spoke. “Yoichi went out to help a friend find her lost cat. Witnesses said that a group of men wearing black H&M suits knocked him out and dragged him away. Naturally, I thought of you.”
“There’s nothing natural about it. My people wouldn’t be caught dead in cheap H&M suits. I dress them in Oxford or Kiton like a proper villainous overlord.” Hisashi sniffed. “Only posers with no taste shop at H&M.”
Kaiji gripped his remote control tightly as he glared. “I don’t know any of those shitty brands, but somehow I find that more convincing than when you claimed not to be a kidnapper. The men wore ties. Hmm.”
Hisashi didn’t like that look. “No matter what my foolish little brother told you, I don’t wear ties as a choice, not because I can’t fasten them.”
“You said your ‘people’ not your men.”
“Don’t go off on a tangent, I’m not done questioning you,” Hisashi growled.
“All of Yoichi’s attackers were men. You’re a lot of things, but you’ve never been sexist. You hire depraved people willing to sell their souls of all genders.” Kaiji shook his head. “It wasn’t you. Dammit.” He turned back toward the window.
Hisashi activated a speed ability and appeared in a flash to block the vigilante. “You’re not leaving until you give me back my brother.”
“Not that I would ever betray Yoichi to you, but I don’t have him.” Kaiji sneered. “Are you slow? Did you hit your head? Dare I hope that you took permanent brain damage?”
Hisashi gritted his teeth. He hoped his little brother would appreciate his sacrifice of not killing this fool immediately. But Yoichi would probably just blah blah some more about how Hisashi shouldn’t kill anyone. Hisashi growled, “Unfortunately, you’re still my prime source of information. If this turns into a hostage situation, then I might need you.” Specifically, Hisashi would need Kaiji as a hostage to stop Yoichi from trying to self-destruct rather than end up back under his loving older brother’s protection. “I know an information broker who can help us, but she’s blacklisted me. She hates me so much that she wouldn’t tell me anything even if I could get close enough to torture her.”
“Did you steal her metapower?” Kaiji asked.
Hisashi raised his eyes to the heavens. “I’ve committed many more creative and terrible deeds than I can possibly be expected to remember.”
Kaiji nodded. “You stole her goddamn metapower. I can’t think of any other reason you’d sacrifice a valuable source of intel. It’s what you always do. You’re a one trick villain.”
“For your information, I’m about to kill Destro just for being too stupid to live, and his metapower isn’t even worth the effort.” Ugh, what a mess. Why did Yoichi have to get kidnapped at the same time that Destro made a mistake? It would be a shame to miss out on this chance to attack. Was there any chance that Destro might be connected to the kidnapping? Probably not, because Destro wouldn’t have bothered to take All for One’s brother as a hostage if he’d deluded himself into believing he’d captured All for One himself…
Realization slapped Hisashi on the upside of his head. Destro was exactly the type of classless person who would dress his men in H&M suits. In addition to championing metahuman superiority, Destro had also loudly espoused male superiority. Was even Destro stupid enough to mistake Yoichi for his far more handsome older brother? Yes, absolutely!
“Destro…” Hisashi hissed, red light crackling down his arms. How dare that B-ranked villain touch Hisashi’s greatest treasure?
Kaiji turned and hopped out the window.
“Get back here!” Hisashi growled, leaping out after the vigilante. Unfortunately, Kaiji’s role had just become even more necessary. Destro had many bases. Time was of the essence because Destro might harm his captive if he realized Yoichi was not All for One. If Hisashi attacked recklessly, his little brother might be taken hostage. He required the services of the information broker. After Yoichi had been reacquired, spikey haired’s use would be up. Landing on the grass outside, Hisashi glared. “Do you want to save my brother or did you already find a new crush to kidnap?”
Kaiji dodged a piece of glass from the window. “It sounded like you were going to kill Destro, so I’m leaving to look for Yoichi.” He raised the remote control connected to the bombs warningly.
Hisashi growled, “Destro took Yoichi! Judging from the threatening note he sent to my organization, he mistook my little brother for me.”
Kaiji gaped. “Is Destro blind? You’re as ugly as sin!”
Reminding himself that his dear little brother’s life hung in balance, Hisashi restrained himself from murder. His fists clenched and unclenched. In the voice of a man on the edge of madness, Hisashi said, “Neither of us knows where to find Yoichi. You don’t know the name or location of the information broker. I’ll take you to her and give you the money to pay her exorbitant fee. You’d be too poor to get a minute of her time. After we know where Yoichi is, we can part ways and launch our own rescue attempts. I’m sure you’ll make an excellent distraction.” In reality, Hisashi had no intention of letting the brother thief leave alive. Perhaps Hisashi would murder Kaiji and launch his corpse at Destro as a distraction. Just thinking about it made him smile. “Do you care enough about Yoichi to work with me to save him, or do you care more about your pride and vaunted moral principles?”
Regarding him coolly, Kaiji said, “I’m only doing this because I love Yoichi. Deal.” He stuck out his hand.
Hisashi eyed the hand with disdain. “I’m not touching that. I don’t know where it’s been.”
“My hand was on your brother’s dick last night.”
With an incoherent howl, Hisashi grabbed Kaiji’s neck and choked.
With a boom like an avalanche, Kaiji triggered the bombs.
OMAKE TIME!
Omake: If Hikage Got Kidnapped for His White Hair
Eitoku: This is a small child, but he has white hair, so he’s clearly All for One.
Destro: Yup, looks like All for One to me. He must have misused a deaging power.
Eitoku: All for One has multiple powers? Huh, I totally should have gone to work for him instead.
Later:
Hisashi: Yoichi, come with me if you want to live— (Sees Hikage locked up in a cell.) Nope! (Shuts cell door.)
Hikage: Someday I’m going to make that guy regret this moment as he chases me around a forest without ever being able to find me.
#
Omake: The Naming of One for All
Yoichi: I’m going to call my power One for All.
Kaiji: Isn’t that too similar to All for One?
Yoichi: I’ve never been great at thinking up names. It’s your power too, do you have any ideas?
Kaiji: STD quirk.
Yoichi: …One for All it is!
Kaiji: Come on, it’s funny! Just think how much All for One would hate the name!
#AFO would hate it even more than being plagiarized #“Finally I met someone with worse taste in names than my foolish little brother” #They should have kept the name STD quirk because then AFO wouldn’t want to steal it #But now nobody wants it
#
Omake: A New Record for Fastest Truce-Breaking Murder Attempt
Fear No Evil All for One: As soon as I’ve found my son, I’m killing All Might.
Fear No Idiocy All for One: As soon as I’ve found my brother, I’m killing the spikey-haired menace.
Kaiji: Your brother nearly killed me in bed last night.
Fear No Idiocy All for One: No thoughts in brain, only murder.