Work Text:
hands.
His hands.
His powers.
His mystic energy
And his hands
With those two hands he sent Casey back in time. That’s what the apocalyptic teen said and with the same two hands he opened a portal. A portal that’s saved his brother! That he opened, he did that! He brought him safely home with a closing of a bright grin and winking eye. He had great mystic power flowing through him.
And it hurt so damn much
He would do it again in a heartbeat for any one in his family. He’s supposed to be happy and safe and relieved.
Relieved his family is alive
Relieved the Krang are gone
Relieved the city is being rebuilt
Relieved he has a home
Relieved, relieved, relieved, relieved
Relieved so much so he can pain-
Relieved he can paint…
But he fucking can’t
Mikey drops the paint brush. Their is a red streak going up down sideways any way all over the page of a portrait of his family. This was his 5th attempt at drawing his family. Of trying to draw their happiness and the fact that their all together. And he just can’t get it right.
He’s so frustrated he could cry. But he doesn’t want to cry again. He’s cried so many times already and if he does again he’ll just worry someone.
But he’s so tired and he feels so guilty and he just wants to express himself so badly. To focus on the positive side of things and how he’s alive.
But Mikey is alive when he’s drawing. When he’s painting. Sketching. Spending time with his family and recreating the happy memories of time with his family on a canvas or paper to capture forever.
But he can’t because his mystic hands are shaking too much to even draw a straight line or even color right anymore so he just crumples up his work. His arms are sore and in pain and feel like there still burning after months. He wants to throw his paper and tear down all his previous work and just fucking scream. He’s scared and he’s tired and he still has nightmares.
Nightmares of donnie getting stuck in that stupid spaceship and it not letting him go and keeping him trapped there forever until he doesn’t control the spaceship but it controls him. It would be his fault.
Nightmares of Raph killing his brothers and only snapping out of it when all of them are dead. And he’s alone and he cries and he wants to die too. His fault again.
Nightmares of Leo. Oh god, Leo. Of Mikey failing of opening that portal with his hands only to be too late because Leo is already dead. His damn fault.
His brothers are the same he knows. Of course he knows, he’s Dr. Feelings, he’s always there for him, he hugs them and take care of them and listens to them because it’s the least he can do after all.
But they want to know about him too and how he’s doing and he just gets choked up. He wants to tell them ,really he does. But the words get stuck likes there’s a gate of thorns in his throat making him choke on his blood every time he tries to speak.
So he goes to cope with it the way he usually does. By drawing and creating memories
But he can’t
And he wants to cry because he’s the youngest and drawing is his thing and now he can’t do it because of his hands that are failing him and won’t stop hurting and won’t stop shaking.
He feel the tears go down his cheek before he sees them drop onto his arms where there are burn scars, cracks, that shine like gold upon his arms. As if there healed and glued back together
But he still feels broken
God it fucking hurts
Hands
His hands
Stupid Mystic Hands.