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Where it all started

Summary:

Depa knew that someone was watching her. The Crèche Masters told her to concentrate on other things, that she was worrying about nothing, but Depa was not worried. She didn't feel in danger, she wasn't afraid.

Chapter Text

   Depa knew that someone was watching her. The Crèche Masters told her to concentrate on other things, that she was worrying about nothing, but Depa was not worried. She didn't feel in danger, she wasn't afraid.

   Some people told her gently to grow up, that it was time for her to accept reality as it was, without the artifices and dreams of youthful magic... But Depa was a grown-up, she knew what she was saying: someone was watching her from afar, and that someone was watching over her. She liked this protective guardian angel very much, she felt very protected.

     - Little one, it's very good to feel safe, but you're already three years old, you shouldn't talk about such things, it's probably the Force and its presence that you feel, so concentrate on your relationship with the Force.

   Except Depa 'knew' it wasn't the Force, she was a young Jedi, she could feel it!

   It was like a call, a soft and reassuring melody, a feeling of warmth and comfort, of habit and love the likes of which she hadn't experienced in a long time, and Depa longed to find the source of these diffuse emotions the Force was sending back to her.

   But dreaming of a family was not the way of the Jedi, all the Masters told her. Jedi were supposed to forget their bonds for the common good, to listen only to the Force and preserve the peace.

   She wasn't supposed to think about the fact that she had a biological sister somewhere, or that her parents were dead, and that they only owed their survival to a Jedi who had brought her back.

   She wasn't supposed to think about her sister and this saviour... but she did.

   She didn't know anything about the Jedi, their name, their age, their species... but she would really like them to come and see her one day, she would thank them for saving her and bringing her to the Temple, because she liked being a Jedi, she was happy here.

   One night, Depa was bored after finishing her homework for the day when she felt that call in the Force. That feeling again. The little girl didn't hesitate, she put her things down and slipped through the doors to run through the corridors, it was really convenient that most of the doors weren't locked in the Temple - everything was symbolic, the Temple wasn't a prison and everyone was always willing to help, so their doors were open.

   She ran on her little legs but soon found herself out of breath and lost, it was late and she had never been out alone before.

   She moved more calmly, fiddling with her tunics to keep her hands busy, when a voice from 'just behind her' stopped her.

     - What are you doing here, Initiate?

     - "Discovering the Temple," Depa answered seriously as she turned quickly to bow, standing still.

     - And you're not afraid to be here alone?

     - No, I'm safe here.

   A small, amused gasp came from the Jedi before he told her to sit up, and at first glance she knew she hadn't been mistaken: the Force wanted her to meet this man.

   He was a strict, hairless, dark-skinned human whose frown slowly faded to a slight, tender smile. He really was young, probably a Knight, but his looks and the confidence he exuded made him seem much older.

   Depa smiled happily at the tall man, inwardly exulting: it was him! She hadn't made him up! However, despite her satisfaction, she didn't say anything, she didn't want to scare him, he probably had a reason for not showing up despite the Force's insistent call.

     - It's time to go home, young lady. The Crèche Masters must be worried that they can't find you.

     - "Okay," she replied with a smile, holding out her arms in a universal gesture that the Jedi understood very well.

   He looked at her with a confused and curious look before slowly bending his large body - he was so large! - as if to give Depa a chance to back off. As if she might be afraid of him. Large hands came to rest on her waist and Depa was lifted up and carried carefully in his caring arms.

     - "And what is your name, Initiate...?" he finally asked, even though Depa suspected he already knew.

     - I am Depa Billaba, Master, and you?

     - Mace Windu.

   Depa hummed and threw her arms around the Jedi's neck, clinging to him, breathing into his neck. Mace Windu.

   He didn't ask her to hold on in a better way for a Jedi, so she didn't move until they reached the Crèche.

   He set her down and she waved happily before going inside.

     - Thank you!

   Thank you for many things, but mostly thank you for finally allowing her to put a name and a face to that call of the Force.

   They would meet again, Depa knew it.

Chapter 2

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

   It had been months since Depa had seen Knight Windu. To be precise, it had been eight months, two weeks and six days. An eternity.

   She didn't blame him for not coming, the life of a young Knight was said to be exciting and full of adventures all over the Galaxy, and he hadn't actually been around much, she would have sensed that, but... she missed him. They'd only spoken once, but he'd been there most of her life, a shining presence, a beacon in the darkness, and now that he was no longer on Coruscant, she was lonely. There was one tiny Twi'lek girl who clung to her, but outside of Vokara, she was quite lonely.

   She only needed one person to be happy, and now he was approaching. Depa had felt it for days, a tugging in the back of her mind that struck like an increasingly heady reminder, and it was in the night that she had realised. It was him.

   He was coming back to Coruscant, and since it was long, it was probably in a civilian ship, so she was patient.

   Vokara had noticed her unusual impatience and tilted her head to the side to question her. She spoke only Ryl, and she'd refused to speak a word since Master Tiin had rescued her from slavers anyway. She had been sold by her own family, from what Depa understood, so she was the only one who didn't pity her for losing her parents and being in the Temple since birth, she even frankly envied her. What Vokara had gone through must have been horrible, but Depa still found it nice not to be looked at with pity for not having grown up with her family before coming to Coruscant. In fact, she was quite happy, because she didn't have to leave people behind, she didn't miss anyone and no one would miss her, it was better that way.

     - "He's coming home today," she explained briefly and in a low voice so as not to be noticed by their teacher.

   Vokara didn't need to ask who she was talking about, Depa had told her enough about the Jedi for her to know.

   The next few hours were never-ending, but as soon as her classes ended, Depa rushed to the entrance with a big smile on her face. At last

   Seeing his face calmed something restless inside her, until she giggled behind a column. He had hair! Little short curly hair, tied in braids along his head, it was so cute!

     - Would you like to share the reason for your hilarity, Initiate Billaba?

   Depa bit her cheeks before straightening up and bowing.

     - You look very cute with your hair like that.

   This time Depa heard a chuckle from somewhere else and... yes, it was clearly the Temple Guards laughing.

     - I'm past the age of being called cute, youngling.

     - Did you? That's a shame.

   Knight Windu looked at her indulgently and nodded before slowly walking away. He must have been tired from his journey, but as they had not officially finished their conversation, Depa chose to follow him, glad that the grown man was in no hurry.

     - What were you doing, Knight Windu?

     - I was working.

     - A mission for the Temple?

     - No, I was working for a civilian theatre group.

     - You're in the theatre?

   Surprise and incomprehension – because, really, what use is that? – turned into genuine admiration. Apart from the usefulness, there was a lot of work and conviction to put into one's work to be a good theatre actor.

     - It's incredible! Tell me everything!

   Depa learned that most of the performances had been on Rodia and the major Rodian communities, and that Knight Windu had a preference for tragedy over comedy, whose burlesque device was usually too excessive to be plausible to her, whatever that meant. She was going to check some words in a dictionary

   As soon as she returned to the Crèche, Depa retrieved her datapad and filled in the selection form for the next language she wanted to learn.

   She was looking forward to understanding Rodese to the point of understanding Knight Windu's plays!

Notes:

Mace: I'm not good parent material at all.
Depa: Hi!
Also Mace: I'm not going to walk too fast for her, it isn’t the done thing.

He was already ready for his future baby Jon 😊

Chapter Text

   Depa did not know who was more surprised between her and her teachers: it seemed like she was smart. Like, really smart. She had a hard time realizing it, she did not feel any better than anyone else, but luckily Vokara had helped her rationalize it all.

     - "Don't exaggerate, you're not a genius either," Vokara said in that deep accent that Depa found beautiful.

   Then the words registered and she threw a pen at her friend who dodged it without even looking, but a smirk was proudly on her lips.

   Depa could not express how happy she was that Vokara finally felt comfortable enough with her new life to speak up and not just be terrified. She had a much more determined and cutting temperament than she did, she was not exactly gentle either, but she... well, they still got along great.

     - I know, but it's strange to be distinguishable from the group.

     - We're all different, Jedi yes, but general education isn't for everyone. You’ll just go and see other people, do other things, it shows you're different in the class. Everyone else is just thinking about playing and shouting, you're more... you know, you don't cry for nothing and you don't have whims.

   Explained like that, it was better. She understood things faster than others, and she had excellent emotional balance. Okay, she could go on about that. It was something she had finally admitted when she looked more closely at her age mates, in hindsight. Apart from the taciturn Twi'lek who had enough trauma to fill a three-hundred-page book, the others were perhaps... a little carefree? They were immature, but she was used to that, there was always one person who had to be a little more rational and calmer than the rest of her class, so... she did not really question it.

     - "But I've lived here all my life, I don't remember anything else, the others left their families and were civilians until recently," she objected.

     - The reason doesn't change anything, you are different, and being with grown-ups will probably benefit you. But we still eat together.

     - Of course we do. And we'll still study together.

     - So there's no reason to panic.

   She wasn't panicking, not really... Except that she had learned to speak Rodese in a few months, mainly by self-taught, and apparently it was not normal, and Depa did not want to be a bother.

   I mean, it was not unheard of, but it was rare enough that she had undergone extensive testing that revealed that the reason she was bored in class was because things were going too slowly for her. Which, yes, it was, but she thought it was the same for everyone else, not just her. Except it was not.

   She was moved to another class for all her classes, and then again when it turned out that the students a year older than her still did not fit in. She found herself with a class that was finally moving at a pace that suited her and she made a friend with a red Nikto boy who spoke little but intelligently, always with great intensity and conviction. She really liked Ima-Gun, he helped her a lot with her lightsaber training, even though she was not allowed to use it outside of classes with Master Yoda, she watched him a lot and he was already giving her tips.

   She was really looking forward to learning how to fight by herself!

   He also sometimes came to eat with Depa and Vokara and he helped her to meet her new classmates a bit more officially.

   The only negative in all this seemed to be the burning disapproval of one girl in the class. She was still looking at Depa angrily, and for the life of her she could not guess what it was... had she ever pushed her around? Spill something on her in the mess hall? She did not know, but the other girl avoided her like the plague.

   It was weird, and also very frustrating, especially as she had Chalactan braids, she would have liked to get on well with her! Chalactan were not a species, but it was a peculiar mix of religion, tradition and nationality plus a matriarchal social system with a focus on self-development, and she would really like to talk to someone about it.

   She probably would one day, but not with this girl.

   The weeks passed quickly and Depa adjusted to this new balance, chatting every few days with Knight Windu who used to come to a quiet Garden where they now crossed paths in what had clearly become an unofficial date for them.

   Everything was going well, until she noticed the impatient and determined look on The Girl's face as she walked out of the classroom last after the last lesson of the day and saw the Chalactan coming up to her with a determined look in her eyes.

   Okay. It looked like it was time for a confrontation.

Chapter 4

Notes:

There's no rhythm planned, I could even stop it there, we all know what the end will be, but maybe I'll add more chapters later so I'm not putting this work down as finished.

I hope you like the way I've approached things 😊

Chapter Text

     - I've got something to tell you, follow me.

    - "Ok...ay", she replied, but the other was already far away, changing corridors to stop in a deserted area, turning to face her with her arms folded, clearly defensive. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

     - My name is Sar Labooda.

     - "... Depa Billaba", she introduced herself in return, unsure of where this was going.

     - I know.

   Good for her… but Depa did not understand. She did not know anyone called Labooda, she did not even know another Chalactan by sight and she had never even spoken to this girl before, so what the hell was going on?

     - Look... I've spoken to the Masters about this because it makes me feel uncomfortable, but... I'm your sister. We have the same father.

   Depa felt a wave of heat rush through her body, building up towards her head and heart, leaving the rest of her body cold. She was sweating. She never sweated.

     - You... my sister?

     - Yes, I am.

     - "Why didn't I know?" she cried, hurt.

   She could not remember a life other than this one, but... she had never known, never at any time had she been told that when she had been rescued, she had a sister who was also a Jedi! Rescued and orphaned children that the Order could not raise were entrusted to trusted families or structures, but... she had been there the whole time? Who knew but had not said anything? ... Did Master Windu know?

     - "Jedi aren't supposed to have attachments or ties to their biological families", Sar reminded her in a cold tone. "You were a baby, I was placed in a Clan while you lived with the babies, that's how it goes."

   How could she be so detached? How could she...

   Then Depa realised what the other had not clearly said but which was obvious to anyone familiar with Chalactan culture. They had the same father. The same father. If they had the same parents, she would have said so, but Sar's insistence on their father could only mean one thing: they did not have the same mother.

     - Your mum...?

     - Dead, Dad remarried your mother before... they died.

   They did not have the same mother, which was why they did not have the same name, because the Chalactan were one of the few cultures where the name was passed down through the mother. By her reckoning, Sar was about six years older than she was... and it was obvious to anyone that she had no place in her heart for Depa. She was the daughter of the previous wife, so depending on the reason for her mother's death, the speed of the remarriage and her conception... it was possible and even highly likely that she did more than just not like her. She hated her, because she was the result of her misfortunes.

   Her own sister hated her, Depa could see it in her eyes.

   She could feel that she was going to cry, but she tried to resist. She had to be strong, there was no-one to comfort her anyway.

     - I'm only telling you this because you were going to find out for yourself eventually, I just wanted to get ahead of this and get it over with. We don't know each other, we have nothing in common and we're Jedi, remember that.

   Depa did not point out that it would be easy to remedy the situation. They would just have to... you know, talk. She wanted to, but she did not say anything.

   It was not what Sar wanted to hear, it was not what she wanted at all, and Depa did not feel like fighting for a lost cause. In fact, she did not feel up to do anything.

     - "It's okay if you don't want to be my sister or talk to me," Depa promised.

   Her sister looked at her with a complicated expression that Depa did not really understand, but quickly walked away anyway.

     - Good, I'm glad you understand.

   Depa had understood, but she wished she had not, and immediately fled for her peaceful sanctuary, relieved to find it empty, taking refuge on their bench, her heart beating wildly. She had understood, but she had the feeling that she had not understood anything. Finally, because she was more upset than she had expected even though she knew she was doing the right thing and that there was no reason to feel so bad about an unknown and inconsequential girl about which she might never have known the truth of the bond between them, Depa began to cry, and once the tears started to flow, she could not stop. Knight Windu found her like this and became concerned, managing to elicit a half-understandable confession from her in a patient interrogation. She thought he was going to say something, but he remained silent after that, accepting to pick her up and give her a comforting hug. Depa cried over him, discreetly wiped her snot off on the cloth around the man's collar and refused to get off when he tried to let her go.

   When she woke up – when had she fallen asleep? – she was in a small, unfamiliar room, warm, still leaning against the Jedi who had not left her, absent-mindedly stroking her hair as he read something, Depa safely against his chest. Pretending not to be surprised, she pulled up the blanket that had slipped off and hugged the big man again, her eyelids heavy.

     - Everything's going to be fine, Depa, don't worry, I'm here.

   She just hoped her tired brain had not imagined what followed.

     - And I always will be.