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Romance was something that only people without a goal would seek out. Only the most lost people would crave a warm set of arms to come home to. Only the most confused people would crave the praise of someone they considered a little more than a friend.
And no matter how much Kanade tried denying it, she was one of those people.
When she hadn’t stuffed her face with work or a goal for the day, she often sat in her desk chair and thought about things. About her music, her parents, Enanan, Amia, and especially Yuki.
No, Mafuyu. She requested Kanade call her by her actual name: Mafuyu.
Kanade’s heart flared a little at the thought, the thought that Yu- Mafuyu had trusted her and her only. So much so, she personally requested she used her real name.
She hadn’t done this for the others. Did she think of Kanade in the same way Kanade thought of her?
No, Kanade was reaching too far. She always did this. There’s no way that such a depressed individual like Mafuyu would even have room to consider love.
Kanade dug her nails into her thighs.
She wished Mafuyu would want her the same way Kanade wanted her. She wished Mafuyu would look at her the same way Kanade looked at her. She wished she could have what she wanted for once, even if it was just a week. Even for a few hours. She wouldn’t mind being delusional if it meant she could be happy with Mafuyu.
A knock to her bedroom door jumped her out of her thoughts. She lived alone — who would be knocking at her bedroom?
Kanade stood up with a slight blur in her vision, being way more relaxed than she should be. The girl was hardly ever cautious, when would she ever learn?
She opened her bedroom door, immediately covering her hands with the sleeves of her hoodie. When all she saw was a neck, she looked up a little and almost had to blink twice.
It was Yuki- Mafuyu. Mafuyu was in her house, standing before her.
Mafuyu leaned in a little, close to her ear. Kanade stared straight ahead at the plain wall behind her.
“You left your front door open. Stop being so careless.”
Kanade sighed.
“Sorry.”
She moved aside a little, trying to indicate Mafuyu was free to enter her room. Mafuyu understood the gesture and walked in, waiting for Kanade to walk ahead and sit down in her desk chair.
Once Kanade was seated, she instinctively looked up to where she expected Mafuyu to be standing, just behind her, where she could look over Kanade’s shoulder and at her screens. Instead, she felt something brush her thigh, and looked down to see Mafuyu sitting on the floor right beside her chair, with her head against Kanade.
Kanade felt her eyes widen, and her cheeks heat up.
“Mafu..yu..?” She said, almost asked, her voice a surprised whisper.
Mafuyu didn’t respond. Instead, she turned her head to the side a little, so that she was basically nuzzling Kanade’s thigh .
Kanade looked away, fighting her burning hot blushes.
She dug her nails into her thigh again, making the mistake to dig into her left thigh; the one Mafuyu was resting against.
“M-Mafuyu, aren’t you here to review the sample I prepared?” Kanade asked, her flustered state making her voice uneven and shaky. She was panicking so hard, she could hear her heart beating rapidly in her chest. Her thoughts were running at the fastest pace they’ve ever run. She couldn’t think straight, she never could when Mafuyu was involved, but right now, it felt like she would melt if she even tried to speak a coherent sentence.
Again, Mafuyu didn’t respond. It was making Kanade anxious.
She dug deeper into her thigh.
Mafuyu stirred a little against the chair and Kanade, moving her hand to.. grasp Kanade’s.
Kanade’s brain stopped working. It felt like her heart was about to stop working too. All she could feel was the way Mafuyu gently loosened her grip on her thigh, and laced her fingers with hers.
At first, they weren’t exactly intertwined. Just resting on each other. One finger away from intertwining.
When Mafuyu felt Kanade relax into the touch, she slowly entwined one of their fingers.
Then another.
And another.
She kept slowly letting her hand hold Kanade’s until they were completely laced together, fit together like a puzzle piece. Like they were made to hold each other.
“You’re anxious. Stop it.” Mafuyu finally said, squeezing Kanade’s hand a little. “You’ll scar your skin.”
“I’m not.” Kanade whispered.
“You’re lying. Stop it.”
They sat in silence for a little. It wasn’t uncomfortable, nor was it tense, it felt accepting… sort of. Kanade didn’t know how to describe it. It felt like Mafuyu was waiting for her, without a hint of judgement.
Finally, she broke the silence.
“I’m sorry.”
Mafuyu scoffed quietly.
“For what?”
“Worrying you. I left my front door unlocked. You must’ve worried.”
Kanade felt Mafuyu look up at her, and soon felt her eyes on her.
“Don’t act like I’m the only one who needs saving.”
…Huh?
Kanade made a quiet sound of confusion that sounded like a ‘huh’ cut short. She lowered her head a little, still not facing the girl who was basically cuddling her thigh.
“Look at me, K.”
“Kanade.”
“Kanade. Look at me.”
She hesitated a little, before slowly looking back towards her left, immediately getting lost in the gentle look in Mafuyu’s eyes. She had never seen this side of Mafuyu before. It excited her, but it also made her nervous.
When Mafuyu looked at her cheeks and let out a quiet giggle, only then had she suddenly remembered her face must be deep red from all of this. She quickly raised her arm to hide her face when Mafuyu’s free hand grabbed her wrist lightly, stopping her from doing so.
She took Kanade’s hand into her own, now holding both hands with care.
“You aren’t the only one who’s drowning. You aren’t the only one who locks herself away with her thoughts. You aren’t the only one who has to save someone.” Mafuyu told her, squeezing her hand.
Kanade bit her lip.
Mafuyu unlaced her fingers from Kanade’s and reached up to free her lip from her teeth.
“Stop hiding yourself. Stop shying away. I want to see you too.”
“Why?”
“It’s comforting.”
“What is?”
“Knowing you’re also alone. I come over to be lonely with you. We’re both lonely. We could use each other.”
Kanade felt a surge of different emotions at once. Is she dreaming?
“I want to save you too, Kanade.”
“I-I.. I think I love you.”
“Yeah? I love you too.”