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Shiratori Aira knows he’s not as good as other idols. From the jump, his defining factor in the entirety of Starmaker is having an entertaining personality. But really, it’s just so hard to tell others about his… limitation.
Sometimes he’s so jealous of the men he's surrounded by everyday that he could honestly cry. People like Hiiro who don't have to work themselves to exhaustion just to build some muscle, or guys like mayoi who can have long hair and still be seen as handsome. Meanwhile he has to pray each dance practice isn’t the one where his binder kills him, because he can almost never take it off. He can’t even afford to get surgery without potentially asking his company, and god knows if they’ll fire him for it. Arashi senpai still faces her struggles being out and proud, even if people are more accepting as far as he’s aware. But he’s not as brave as her at all..
But it does nothing to be negative right now! The rest of Alkaloid is going to be gone for at least a few hours, so he’s going to take the time to wash all his binders, practice some of his favorite choreography, and hopefully enjoy breathing. Gosh, he’s excited already-
He quickly shoots another text to Hiiro reassuring him that yes, he really doesn’t want to come to dinner with them before changing to a loose tee and flopping into his bed. In all honesty, he really hates binding, and doesn't really want to, but the mere thought of someone seeing his chest keeps him pretty vigilant. For now though, he’s gonna watch a bunch of interviews he’s missed, and binge on snacks, and-
“Aira! I thought you might be feeling sad since you still said you wouldn’t have dinner with us, so we came back for movie night!” Aira couldn't even lift a finger as the rest of his groupmates burst into the room, mayoi carrying some bags of snacks from the convenience store.
“I, uh, hey Hiro-kun, I really was fine, you need to stop assuming things..” He trailed off from his attempt at a distraction seeing Hiiro’s eyes already strayed below his face. “Hey, what’s on your chest?” Ah, thank god for Hiiro and his simplemindedness. Aira thankfully doesn't have much of a chest to begin with but he still forgets it’s a little noticeable. He quickly prepares a simple lie to tide Hiiro over before he remembers the other two in the room. Damn, there's no way to get over on them with some lie, and he’d rather not cause conflict so..here goes.
“It’s…my chest, I’m not really wearing a binder right now because they’re all washing and I didn’t think you’d come back so I wasn’t prepared at all and yeah but what I really mean to say is, I’m, well, trans?” He quickly shuts his eyes fully expecting them to leave or yell or frown, but hearing the silence, he chances a peek.
Mayoi is grinning almost fiendishly, Hiiro is still staring, and Tatsumi is as calm as ever? He’s a little confused until Hiiro loudly blurts out “What’s trans?” He couldn’t say why, but the sudden question ended up sending Aira into a fit of nervous giggles. And Hiiro still sits there with a dopey smile as the blonde tries to gain his composure. “Jeez Hiro-kun, you’re so oblivious. It basically means, well,” His nervousness keys up again as he plays with the hem of his shirt. “Basically, I was a girl before..but it wasn’t right so I changed. If that makes sense. And my binder helps cover..these, since I can’t really get surgery.”
“Binder?”
“It’s like a tank top that flattens everything out.”
“Oh. Why do you need surgery?”
“So I don’t need the binder. Hiiro, do you…really not care?”
At that, Hiiro swoops him in a crushing hug and smiles. “Aira is always Aira! As long as you are safe and happy I don’t care because I love you! You’re my best friend!”
He couldn’t help but sniffle a bit, before making eye contact with Tatsumi. “Ah! And are you and Mayoi san ok wit-”
“I’m nonbinary!! I have told Tatsumi-san and I thought it would be hard to tell you two, but I'm glad we are similar! Oh, but please don't let a lowly one like me equate themselves to youuu-”
The new knowledge makes Aira gasps and hops out of Hiiro’s arms to clasp Mayoi’s hands. “Mayo-san it’s Ok! It’s actually so lovelyy~ So, they them? And yes Hiro we’ll explain that later. But wow, who would’ve thought! I’m so, well, happy. I was really struggling a lot, so I’m glad I have people around me and gosh, I really don’t know what to say..”
Tatsumi gently laid a hand on his shoulder, smiling at the scene. “Aira-san, I’m sure we can help you with this knowledge. Our lord believes that we should help others be the most comfortable with themselves. Ayase-san told me that binding too long greatly inhibits one’s health. If you’re comfortable, what if you wear something less restricting during private practice and when you are around us? We can also allocate some of our funds to help with anything you need since you deserve care to do your best as an idol.”
Nobody could even blame Aira as he almost collapsed into a blubbering mess, simply nodding along as he clinged to whoever was closest.
“Thank you, thank you guys so much. I’m so lucky to have you.”