Work Text:
Xiaoge is having a good, lazy day.
After a whole week of a disastrous tomb raid that left him injured Wu Xie and Pangzi had been denying any work requests for him until Xiaoge completely recovers and back to full health again. Honestly, it wasn’t the worst injury Xiaoge ever suffered. His stomach just got punctured by an arrow, that’s all. Most of his internal organs stayed inside his body, so Xiaoge thought it was a normal injury. He could recover from this kind of injury in two or three weeks, thanks to his special constitution. Wu Xie and Pangzi, however, were crying when they heard that he got injured and confined him to rest at home.
For a month, Xiaoge has been staying at home and resting most of the time, leaving all work to Wu Xie and Pangzi while he's lying on the bed or the sofa with Xiao Man-Ge snuggled up to his waist. While it’s been quite boring for Xiaoge to do nothing—they forbid him to exercise as well—Xiaoge kind of enjoys this laziness. Not that he doesn’t like doing chores with Wu Xie and Pangzi, he loves them. Xiaoge loves doing mundane things, but he has learned to appreciate the sweetness of doing nothing ever since he retired with Wu Xie and Pangzi.
Of course, he tried to help them with the chores, which was returned by a threat by Wu Xie to tie him up on the bed (in a very unsexy way) if he tried to get up from the sofa. Xiaoge gave up and decided to make use of his rest time before he's going on another tomb raid to provide for his little family. All he’s been doing after waking up is being fed breakfast, bath, nap, lunch, then nap again (usually with Wu Xie, Pangzi, and Xiao Man-Ge), watching TV or playing games on his phone (he's quite fond of Candy Crush), dinner, then sleep. Repeat all of them the next day.
Today is no different from the previous day. He has the house for himself today; Pangzi has gone shopping and brought Xiao Man-Ge to the vet for his routine check-up, and Wu Xie hasn’t been home since yesterday for work with Xiao Hua (someone has to provide for the family and Xiaoge is incapacitated). The wound on his stomach has fully healed a week ago and it’s not bothering him anymore. He gets sleepy from lunch and the wind is nice so Xiaoge decides to take a nap. Xiaoge pulls the blanket Li Cu gave him as a get-well-soon gift up to his chest and promptly dozes off.
Simply put, Xiaoge is having a nice, peaceful, and lazy day.
Wu Xie, on the other hand, is not. He’s having a rough, exhausting day.
He’s been awake for… twenty-four hours? No, perhaps more. Wu Xie remembers leaving for work yesterday morning and hasn’t slept since then. His eyes are blurry even though he’s wearing his glasses. It wasn’t Xiao Hua’s fault, truly. Xiao Hua is just as frustrated as he is, and Wu Xie thinks he hasn't slept for an even longer time, judging from the thick bags underneath his eyes and his level of crankiness. Wu Xie is grumpy as well, cranky enough to take his Kukri out and handle it the rough way; he knows Xiao Hua is tempted to join him on it.
What happened, exactly? Well, Wu Xie and Pangzi were in a dire need of money because the breadwinner (Xiaoge) was out of commission due to his injuries, and Xiao Hua—being a good friend as always—had been giving them work so they could bring food to the dining table. Five days ago Xiao Hua asked Wu Xie’s assistance to be an expert on the antiques Xiao Hua was trying to get his hands on. Wu Xie met with Xiao Hua several times to do a thorough check on the antiques, then confirmed with Xiao Hua the estimated prices. This kind of work actually fit Pangzi more than Wu Xie, but Xiao Hua needed someone who can negotiate, uh, peacefully because the person he was dealing with was an absolute pain in the ass.
Now, Wu Xie was quite confident in his ‘peaceful’ talk, sweet-talking, and using his good look and nice eyelashes to convince someone, but after the meeting with this person, Wu Xie wasn’t so sure anymore. He and Xiao Hua had been trying to negotiate with this person since yesterday to lower the price of the antiques since the price he offered was way too high for them. The person insisted on keeping the high price according to this ‘expert’, who Wu Xie was pretty sure to be a fake expert.
The negotiations failed and it wouldn't pose more problems if they ended there. No, something bad happened. Just a few hours after Wu Xie and Xiao Hua left the location—tired and pissed—the guy reported that the antiques were stolen and accused Xiao Hua of doing it. He demanded Xiao Hua find those antiques else he’d have to pay the exorbitant amount of the lost antiques. Everything screamed SCAM in huge, yellow neon lights and it was so ridiculous that Xiao Hua got so baffled he cracked the hotel’s wooden coffee table.
Xiao Hua was an effective and efficient guy, so he immediately went to work on it. Wu Xie felt bad for Xiao Hua and stayed to help him. Heavens help them, whoever was hiding the antiques was moving them around and making it difficult for Xiao Hua to track them. Xiao Hua was still trying to use the ‘civil’ way of resolving it, but his patience was running thin.
Fast forward to the next day, Wu Xie and Xiao Hua are slumped on the sofa (Wu Xie) and the table (Xiao Hua), both are at the end of their ropes. Xiao Hua’s secretary entered the hotel room a few minutes ago, took a look at them, and promptly left without a second word.
“I’m going to handle this the rough way,” Xiao Hua suddenly says, and Wu Xie lifts his head from the throw pillow, blinking his eyes blearily.
“…what?”
“I’ll teach that person to never mess with the Xie Family.” Xiao Hua smirks, a sign that it won’t bode well for anyone standing as his opponent. “He’ll regret ever making me his enemy.”
A shiver runs down Wu Xie’s spine. “Don’t let yourself get caught.”
“Oh, no one can link it to me when I’m done with it.”
(Wu Xie is so, so, so relieved he’s on a good term with Xiao Hua.)
“Alright, do you need me to help with anything?” Wu Xie rubs his eyes and suppresses his yawn. “I don’t know what you’re planning in your head but I can rough someone up.”
The scary smirk on Xiao Hua’s face melts into a softer one. “No need to dirty your hands like that. You should go home.” He pats Wu Xie’s shoulder. “Go rest with Xiaoge at home, you've done well. I'll transfer the money as soon as I'm done with this.”
Wu Xie would like to go home and sleep now, but at the same time, he's reluctant to leave Xiao Hua alone. “Are you sure, though? I don’t mind helping some more.”
“Your work was to appraise the antiques, that’s all. For this, Hei Xiazi will be more useful than you.” Xiao Hua takes his phone and types a quick message. “You’ll only get in the way in your condition.”
‘Ouch, that hurts.’ Wu Xie thinks. ‘But he’s right. I do need to sleep.’
Xiao Hua is kind enough to have someone drive Wu Xie home—because he's not sure about Wu Xie’s capability of navigating himself to his own home when exhausted. Still, Wu Xie is unable to drift off in the car, even when he’s too tired to keep his eyes open. Maybe it’s the adrenaline rush left from hours and hours of frustration, or maybe he’s just not feeling safe enough to sleep in the car when Xiao Hua isn’t here. Wu Xie ends up playing games on his phone, which doesn't help with his tired eyes.
(Pangzi gives an update that Xiao Man-Ge is a very healthy, very strong, very energetic dog according to the vet.)
The car pulled over in front of his house about two hours later, and Wu Xie is drained to the core. He thanks the driver and trudges inside, wanting nothing more than to sleep until tomorrow. After this, he's going to change his clothes, eat something light, and take a warm shower, then he might convince Xiaoge to cuddle him. Yeah, that sounds like a good plan.
Except that those plans fly away from his head upon seeing Xiaoge peacefully napping on the sofa with several yellow birds also napping on his hair and shoulder. Wu Xie is overwhelmed by strange jealousy at those little birds; they get to nap on Xiaoge while he’s standing here, exhausted and sleep-deprived. He mentally slaps himself for getting jealous over birds of all things. Why should he get jealous? He could just nap on Xiaoge and recharge himself.
That gets the overworked, un-oiled gears in Wu Xie’s head turning.
Nap on Xiaoge. Nap on Xiaoge. Nap on Xiaoge.
Nap on Xiaoge… sounds awesome.
Bye, all of his plans. Hi, Xiaoge’s very inviting body.
“…?” Xiaoge who was roused up from his nap by the sound of the door, is a bit surprised to see Wu Xie looming over him, his face both tired and murderous. Like he can’t decide if he’s going to fall asleep on his feet or chop someone to pieces and cook them, or both. “Welcome home…?”
Wu Xie tears the blanket away from Xiaoge’s body, then unceremoniously dumps himself on Xiaoge’s body between his spread thighs, knocking the breath out of Xiaoge’s lungs. The little birds fly away in fear, and Xiaoge is relieved that his injury is healed now; else that move would tear open his stitches. Though still surprised by the sudden weight on his chest, Xiaoge wraps his arms around Wu Xie’s back. At this point, hugging Wu Xie’s body whenever he’s close is something akin to a reflex for Xiaoge.
“Wu Xie?”
Xiaoge asks, and Wu Xie ignores him, proceeding to plaster himself as close as he can to his boyfriend. Wu Xie sighs in relief at the feeling of Xiaoge’s warmth seeping into his skin. All the tension and the fatigue melt away like heated butter, and Wu Xie’s whole body goes slack.
Ah, perfect. This is what he’s been wanting since he was in the car, snuggled up to Xiaoge’s strong and warm body, then falling asleep surrounded by his presence. Wu Xie is like a drained battery and Xiaoge is the power station. Xiaoge only needs to plug Wu Xie and he will get charged up.
The analogy seems dirtier than he expected.
Fuck that, he’s too tired.
“Tired. Not moving.” He pats Xiaoge’s head mindlessly—almost poking Xiaoge in the eyes, then his arm falls limply next to his head. "Nap. Cuddles. Now.”
Apparently, Wu Xie has lost the ability to form a proper sentence, which shows Xiaoge just how exhausted his boyfriend is. In this case, Wu Xie will make true of his word and not move until he's had his fill of naps and cuddles. There’s no way to slither out of this cage that is his boyfriend. Xiaoge smiles and shifts to rearrange themselves into a more comfortable position since Wu Xie has turned into a limp goo on top of him. He then pulls the discarded blanket over both of their bodies to prevent Wu Xie from getting cold. Wu Xie’s head now is resting on Xiaoge’s left shoulder, his glasses digging to Xiaoge’s collarbone.
“Your glasses—” Xiaoge tries to get Wu Xie to lift his head so he can take it off.
“Nu-uh. Not moving.”
“It will break.”
“Don’t care.” Xiaoge still tries to move his head and Wu Xie pins the arm down with his own. Neither of them is going to get up from this sofa until Wu Xie’s battery is recharged, and that’s final. “Have spares.”
Satisfied that Xiaoge now stops moving and stays put obediently, Wu Xie grins and snuggles deeper into his chest. Within seconds, he’s already asleep; mouth slightly open and snoring. He’s going to get drool all over Xiaoge’s hoodie later, but it’s a problem for later.
The smile on Xiaoge’s face grows wider, and he accepts his current roles as Wu Xie’s pillow, bed, and cuddle partner at the same time. He knows Wu Xie was having a hard time at work to get money for him and Pangzi, so the least he can do—for being a lazy sardine—is to provide him with as much comfort as he can. Using his only free hand Xiaoge pulls Wu Xie’s body closer to his chest, fisting the blanket to keep it there.
Wu Xie’s snoring is growing louder and louder, almost echoing in their living room. Xiaoge turns his head to the side and presses a soft, lingering kiss on Wu Xie’s forehead. His boyfriend makes some snuffling noises and presses himself impossibly closer to Xiaoge as if he's trying to worm his way inside Xiaoge’s body.
(Xiaoge will reward him for the hard tonight by letting Wu Xie inside him properly.)
Giving one more kiss on Wu Xie’s forehead, Xiaoge closes his eyes and resumes his interrupted nap; this time with his beloved boyfriend safe in his arms.
An hour later, Pangzi sends several photos to the group chat of the five of them of Wu Xie dead to the world and drooling on top of the napping Xiaoge. What’s adorable from the photos is the five little birds on Xiaoge’s shoulder and chest, playing around happily and pecking at the loose threads on Xiaoge’s hoodie. After more pecking and playing, the little birds settle down on various places on Xiaoge’s head and chest, then follow the two lovebirds to the dream world.
Pangzi snaps several more photos from different angles and leaves them to sleep, calling Xiao Man-Ge so as to not disturb them.
He’ll let them sleep for a little longer.