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"Ugh, Meowth, die quietly out there!"
Jessie dug her aching head back under her pillow, doing her best to block out the disgusting sound of their furry team-mate being violently ill outside the small cabin. "This is all his fault anyway," she grumbled. "He was the one who kept making cocktails."
"I don't think cheap wine mixed with store-brand lemonade counts as a cocktail," James mumbled from under the blankets. "They didn't even have little umbrellas."
Jessie growled and did her best to shut out both the complaining and the retching. Her head throbbed relentlessly and her bad mood wasn't helping. She should have known better. Drinking was never worth it.
The retching outside stopped. Jessie allowed herself to relax, seeking the blessed relief of sleep. Unfortunately, the all-too-brief silence was shattered by a wail.
“How can there be mouuuurrrrrgggghhhhh!” Jessie huffed angrily, lifting her head out from under the pillow. Beside her, James was also braving the too-bright sunlight streaming in through the windows as he listened to Meowth’s distressed cries. “Ain’t I empty yeaaaaagghhhhhhh!”
The pair looked at each other as Meowth’s coughs and splutters turned into sobs.
“Well don’t look at me,” James remarked. “You’re the one who wanted to be a nurse.”
Jessie glared at him, then yanked off his blankets.
“Oh look, you’re up.”
James yelped at the sudden loss of heat.
“Please, Jessie, you know I can’t handle throw-up!” he begged, flicking his hands as if they were already covered in it. “If I go, I’ll be sick too! Then you’ll have to take care of both of us!”
Jessie glowered, about to yell, despite her headache, at him to get out there and make himself useful, when Meowth cried out again.
“Somebody help me-e-e,” the Scratch Cat sobbed. “It’s on my paws and whiske-e-ers!”
Heaving an irritated sigh, Jessie tossed the blankets at James and carefully stood up. She ventured to the door of the cabin and poked her head outside. A short distance from the door, Meowth was curled on his side next to a lake of pink vomit dotted with half-digested junk food, crying miserably. Jessie gulped back sympathy puke and took some deep breaths. This was not going to be pleasant.
She turned back into the cabin, resisting the urge to give James, now literally saying “snore” under the blankets, something worse than a hangover to think about. As angry as his refusal to help made her, he was right – he’d be useless in this situation. She filled two buckets with water and rummaged around in their bags for supplies.
Skirting her way around Vomit Lake, Jessie set the buckets down and approached Meowth, lifting him into her arms. Sick was indeed on his paws and whiskers, not to mention all down his front, and drying rapidly.
“Is that you, Jimmy?” Meowth whimpered. “I knew you wouldn’t leave me like this.”
The words gave her a small pang.
“Sorry to disappoint you,” Jessie replied gruffly.
Meowth cringed. “You ain’t gonna yell at me again, are ya?”
“No,” Jessie ground out, “I’m going to clean you up.” Without any further explanation, she plunged him into the bigger bucket, bracing herself for Fury Swipes. When none came, she squirted a dollop of Pokémon shampoo into her hand and began to work it into Meowth’s fur.
“Just hold my head under the water,” Meowth moaned. “Make it quick.”
“Stop whining, Meowth,” Jessie growled, scrubbing at his fur slightly harder than was necessary. “Next time don’t drink so much.” Of course Meowth would assume James, currently all snug in his nest of blankets and doing nothing to help, had come to his rescue. It wouldn’t occur to the ungrateful Pokémon that she might have sympathy for his plight – not that she did – and might want to help him. No, she was the tough, mean, nasty one. Someone had to be. Neither of them appreciated how difficult it was to keep driving them on, defeat after defeat, coming up with new plans and minding the money so that certain people didn’t blow it all on name-brand soda and Magikarp again.
“Close your eyes or this’ll sting,” she warned Meowth – though it served him right if it did – tipping the smaller bucket over his head to rinse him off.
“Hey…” the cat sniffled, wiping his paw across his face. “…I thought I was all outta shampoo.”
Jessie shrugged. “I was shoplifting. It made sense to get everything we needed.”
“…Oh.” Meowth blinked up at her. He looked down at himself and shivered. “That… that feels a lot better. But it’s real cold.”
There was no arguing with that. Jessie’s own fingers were starting to feel like ice, making her regret not at least trying to warm the water over their little camping stove. But it would’ve meant leaving Meowth in his own mess for even longer. She gave the cat a quick once-over.
“You look clean to me,” she declared. She picked him up and wrapped him in the towel, rubbing him vigorously to get the worst of the wet out. Without warning, Meowth leaned in and butted his head against her.
“You’re the best, Jess,” he purred.
Jessie looked away, unable to stop a smile spreading across her face. She rested her hand behind Meowth’s ears and gave them a scratch. He rewarded her with a pleased little nyaa. For a moment she saw the life she could have had – taking care of sick Pokémon, every patient nuzzling at her hand, grateful for Nurse Jessie’s gentle ministrations.
“Put me in your bed and sing to me,” Meowth begged. Jessie couldn’t help a chuckle as she gathered him up, still wrapped in the towel. She supposed these two idiots needed her just as much as any sick Pokémon ever could.
The inside of the cabin was much darker than it had been, and as Jessie glanced around she saw that someone had closed most of the shutters. James sat cross-legged next to the blankets and pillows, now rearranged from a haphazard pile into an orderly triple bed. Three cups of something sat in front of him.
“I made tea,” he explained.
The words not completely useless went unsaid. Jessie lowered herself to the bare floor beside him, Meowth cuddled into her lap.
“Drink this, Meowth,” James urged, picking up one of the cups. “It’ll settle your stomach.”
Meowth grunted. One paw emerged from the towel and fished for the cup. Working together, Jessie and James pressed the cup into Meowth’s paws, not letting go till he had a firm grip on it.
“You too, Jessie.” James slid the second cup her way. Jessie accepted, blowing on it before taking an experimental sip. It had been sitting a while, the drink warm but no longer boiling hot. Peppermint with a twist of something else. They drank the tea in silence, Meowth finishing first and making himself comfortable on Jessie’s lap. Slowly his purrs gave way to deep, contented breathing. Jessie unwrapped the towel – he was dry enough now – and tucked him into the middle of the makeshift bed.
“I know we’re paying for it now, but last night was fun,” James remarked as she sat back down. He offered her a dry cracker and she took it. “It was nice to forget about our troubles for a while.”
“Mm.” It had been a nice night. The booze had warmed her from the inside while the campfire warmed her from the outside, the world growing fuzzy while James got philosophical and Meowth sang to the moon. “We should do it again sometime.”
“Yes, but next time let me swipe the drinks,” James replied. “I’ll pick out a good vintage and mixers and maybe some cognac-”
“Shut up, Trust Fund,” Jessie murmured fondly. “We’ve got to get better first.”
“Let’s take tomorrow off,” James pleaded. “We can sit outside and sunbathe. It’ll be like a vacation.”
Jessie sighed. “That would be nice, but –” She glanced down at what was left of the cracker. “ – we don’t have enough food to spend an extra day here.”
“Yes we do.” Jessie looked up at James as he explained, “Meowth and I wanted to pig out last night, but you threatened to smear us with honey and leave us for the Beedrill, so –” He reached behind him and opened a cooler with a flourish. “ – ta-da!”
Jessie smiled at the sight of the extra food, stashed away and untouched under penalty of violence. Honestly, where would the two of them be without her?
“Hey!”
They both turned to see Meowth poking his head out from under the blankets.
“Will you two come to bed already?” the Scratch Cat complained. “I need my humans.”
Jessie slid out of her skirt and under the blankets, James crawling in on the other side. Meowth snuggled happily in between them, provoking an “Ooh!” from James as he kneaded him with his claws. The Pokémon was soon fast asleep, a little ball of warmth against Jessie’s back. Jessie slipped her arm under her pillow, letting her eyes drift shut.
It wasn’t easy being mean. But luckily for her team-mates, she was the best at being the worst.