Work Text:
Jaehyun sighs.
Another date, bombed. Another night, wasted.
Tonight hasn’t been as bad as some of the others, that’s for sure. Considering that one time he got stood up in the middle of a national park for a hiking date on a blisteringly hot day, today’s date had been a walk in the park, a frolic in the flowers.
All he and the other guy, named Taeyong, had done was go to the aquarium, which, you know, is all well and good, but the instant they had reached the jellyfish exhibit, Taeyong had stopped paying attention to him entirely. Lost to the sharks. And the goldfish, and whales, and whatever other sea life you find in an aquarium.
The date is over now, the aquarium closed long ago. He and Taeyong had parted at the front stairs, Jaehyun setting off on the 20 minute walk back to his apartment. He fingers the novelty pen that Taeyong at least had the decency to buy him after ignoring him for 2 hours straight. There had been no talk of a second date, and though Jaehyun likes the other man’s…say, dedication to his passions, Lee Taeyong is just another name on the long list of people Jaehyun can count as “Not The One.”
Maybe it’s all for the best that he’s heading home so early. He has a test in his microeconomics class tomorrow, and he’s barely studied the bare minimum. His business degree won’t earn itself, after all.
He enjoys college, he really does. The freedom, the independence, the craziness of it all– it suits the way Jaehyun wants to live. Perhaps that’s part of the reason why it’s been so difficult for him to find someone willing to put up with his bullshit. He’s too much of a wandering soul, someone who takes life by the second, a go-with-the-flow type of person. Even applying for the business program at his university had been a last minute decision, spurred by his parents’ insistence that he’d end up homeless on the streets if he didn’t find some way to curb his spontaneity. Unsurprisingly, it hadn’t been the pressure from his parents that had made Jaehyun fill out an application. The credit for that all went to one Kim Jungwoo.
Jungwoo. The one stable force in the mess that is Jaehyun’s life right now. His best friend since middle school, the yin to his yang. This university had always been Jungwoo’s dream school, and he’d practically begged Jaehyun to at least send in an application. And ever since day one, Jaehyun had been unable to say no. Now here he was.
One thing led to another, and now the two are roommates, living happily in a two bedroom apartment just on the outskirts of the university’s campus. It’s a highly sought-after location, funded entirely by Jaehyun’s parents. He’s certain that they wouldn’t have even considered paying for a single apartment if Jaehyun had asked if he could live alone, but the second he had mentioned Jungwoo’s name, his parents had instantly agreed to pay for their shared apartment. Jungwoo just has that effect on people.
He’s a year younger than Jaehyun, in his second year of aerospace engineering. And since Jungwoo’s a high achiever and is also mentally insane, he’s also minoring in mechanical engineering. He claims he wants to work for NASA one day, and Jaehyun’s always wished he was as ambitious as his friend. With that ambition, though, comes a lot of hard work and determination, which is something Jaehyun’s not ready for yet.
It’s why, as Jaehyun punches in the keycode to his apartment and pushes the door open, he can expect to see Jungwoo in the exact same spot as always. Seated at the dining table, even though he has a perfectly good desk in his room, with books spread all around him.
He barely looks up from his workbooks as Jaehyun puts his things on the table next to him.
“Woo.”
“Jae.”
“Jungwoo.”
Not a glance spared in his direction. “Jaehyun.”
“Stop that. Woo. How long have you been sitting there? You were in the same position when I left 4 hours ago.”
“About that, how was your date?” Jungwoo finally looks up and smiles at Jaehyun, but he hardly considers it a win, because Jungwoo is clearly trying to deflect the question. “Some guy named Taeyong, right? Senior, agriculture major.”
Jaehyun relents, just this once. “Yeah. Taeyong. He was very nice…”
“I sense a ‘but’.” Jungwoo raises his eyebrows. Jaehyun finds it cute.
“But he was a little… distracted, I guess. He basically threw me to the fishes. Abandoned me in the middle of the aquarium because he was too enamored by some jellyfish.”
“Ouch.” Jungwoo’s smile is playful. “Imagine getting rejected over some fishes.”
Jaehyun just rolls his eyes, shakes his head, and starts to head to his room, ready to turn in for the night. A quiet, “wait,” from Jungwoo makes him stop and look back.
The younger looks soft under the dining room light. He blinks slowly up at Jaehyun, mouth opening before he coughs and plasters on a grin.
“Um, you have a test tomorrow, Jaehyun-ssi.”
Fuck. He had forgotten.
“Right, shoot. I have to study for that. Thanks, Woo.” Jaehyun sighs, because of course he has to study. Just what he needs on top of this not-so-good night.
“Well,” Jungwoo bites the tip of his pencil. “I’ve got at least an hour’s worth of work ahead of me. Do you want to sit here with me too?”
Jaehyun says nothing, watching in amusement as Jungwoo backtracks.
“Or, you know, your room works fine too. I was just thinking that since we’re both set to be up pretty late, we could keep each other company and–”
“Sure, Jungwoo.” He has to resist the urge to coo at his friend’s red face. “Let me get my books, and I’ll be right back.”
Jaehyun turns and actually starts walking towards his room, fully intending to retrieve his books. He doesn’t hear Jungwoo’s mumbled, “okay,” and definitely doesn’t see how Jungwoo, cheeks flushed, bangs his head on the table after he leaves.
10 minutes later, when he’s sitting at the dining room table, laughing at some random offhand joke Jungwoo makes, notes forgotten despite the haphazard way he’s spread them out over the wood… Jaehyun thinks this night might not end up being as bad as he thought it would be.
————————
Mark Lee isn’t…horrible.
Sure, the freshman is awkward and shaky and clearly nervous, but it’s all endearing. Somewhat.
Jaehyun doesn’t foster any particular interest towards the boy, but Mark had come up to him after the end of their shared Business Throughout The Ages class yesterday and clumsily asked him out for coffee. Who was Jaehyun to say no to the sweet, smart, gangly boy who obviously had a crush on him?
He wasn’t regretting coming on this “date,” per se, because free coffee was free coffee, but Mark wasn’t saying anything, nor was he even making an attempt to initiate eye contact. The poor boy was, honestly, pathetic. In a sort of sad but adorable way.
Jaehyun had arrived at the small coffee shop first, having to wait a whole 10 minutes past their designated meeting time for the younger man to arrive. Since then, all that’s passed between them were some hellos and a couple of awkward questions from Mark, including, “What’s your Hogwarts house,” which Jaehyun is sure isn’t too horrible of a conversation starter, but what ultimately made it worse was that he had to tell an already nervous Mark that he hadn’t read the Harry Potter series or even watched the movies.
The rapid tap-tap-tapping of Mark’s ratty sneakers against the coffee shop tile floor is slowly driving Jaehyun insane, as they sit in complete silence. He closes his eyes and lets out a quiet huff as he wishes to be anywhere but here.
“Can I buy you another coffee?” Mark suddenly blurts out of nowhere.
Jaehyun hasn’t even finished his first coffee. To be honest, he’s not really a coffee person, tea was more his, well, cup of tea. Jungwoo is really the coffee person between them.
“Thanks, Mark, but I’m okay.”
“No, please. Let me get you another one.”
Jaehyun almost rolls his eyes. “It’s fine, Mark. I don’t really want another coffee. Thanks for offering, though.”
“Are you sure, though?” Mark’s waving his hands around in a nervous frenzy. “They have an offer where if you buy three coffees, you get a baked good for free, and I–”
One of Mark’s flailing hands hits Jaehyun’s half-empty coffee cup, and he watches in slow motion as it tips over and spills its contents over the table.
“Fuck– I mean, shoot!” Mark grabs napkins from the holder on the side, rushing to clean up the mess while Jaehyun just watches in resignation.
“Did any get on you? I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for it to do that.”
Thank god he feels sorry for Mark. Jaehyun doesn’t have the energy to be mad right now. “No, nothing got on me, thankfully.”
He discreetly swipes a napkin and wipes at a small brown stain on his jeans, out of Mark’s sight. Better to not embarrass the poor boy any more.
Getting up to leave, Jaehyun nods at Mark, trying to look cheerful and unapologetic. “That’s my cue to leave, I think.”
Mark’s face falls, and Jaehyun internally facepalms at himself.
“That’s not what I meant. I actually have, um, somewhere I need to be in 5 minutes, and I don’t want to be late. I have to meet a professor, so that’s why I refused another coffee.”
Jaehyun is too nice for his own good. Of course he doesn’t have somewhere to be.
“Thank you for the coffee, Mark,” he says as he walks backwards out the door, “I’ll see you in class next Wednesday!”
Once he knows he’s out of sight of Mark, he lets out a long sigh of tiredness. His dorm is a good 20 minute walk away, and his next class is close by, but 45 minutes from now. It wouldn’t make sense for him to go home now, only to spend 5 minutes there and walk all the way back.
His hands instantly drift to his phone, and before he knows it, he’s unlocking it and going straight to his messages. Jungwoo’s direct messages are at the very top of the list.
————
Obok-ie ❤️🐶
—
You: where r u?
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: why?
You: just tell me woo
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: sitting under the tree
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: the one near the chemistry building
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: you know which one hyung
You: what r u doing under the tree near the chem building
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: studying TT you know my physics professor is ruthless
You: u study too much
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: Read at 5:17 PM
————
Jaehyun rounds the corner into the large courtyard in front of their university’s chemistry building, a pep in his step. Sure enough, under that one tree, sits Kim Jungwoo, with his books laid out in front of him, squinting at something in his notebook.
He grins, walking a little faster and adjusting his course so that he can sneak up right behind his unsuspecting roommate. Jungwoo’s too lost in his coursework to sense Jaehyun behind him.
“Rarghhh!” Jaehyun leaps out from behind the tree and yells loudly, making Jungwoo scream.
Jungwoo has one hand over his heart, mouth opened wide as he stares at Jaehyun, chest heaving. “Hyung! Fuck you, you almost gave me a heart attack.”
Jaehyun ignores him, moving some of Jungwoo’s books so that he can make himself at home sitting crisscrossed next to him. “Whatcha studying?”
“Torque and rotational momentum. As much as I hate physics, it’s kind of important if I want to work for NASA one day.”
“Why don’t you tell me about it?” Jaehyun is serious. This surprises even himself.
“Really?” Jungwoo looks, understandably, incredulous. “But you hate physics more than I do! In fact, I remember in junior year you swore that if you ever had to look at another kinematics formula again you’d–”
“Just tell me, okay?” Jaehyun sighs. “I heard it helps with reviewing information.”
“Fine?” Jungwoo’s clearly confused, but he relents anyways.
“So basically, when you’re talking about circular motion, you define the angular speed to be the absolute value of the angular velocity. The variable ω is what we use to define both, and it’s in units of radians per second. If you’re given a frequency of rotations per minute, you have to convert it to–”
“Aaaand that’s enough physics for me today.” Jaehyun reaches over and closes Jungwoo’s textbook with a thud.
“Then why did you–”
“I like listening to your voice.”
He isn’t aware of the effect his words have on Jungwoo, making the other blush furiously to the point where he has to turn away. Jaehyun merely sits there and enjoys the sun.
“Like I said,” he turns back to Jungwoo, who’s rubbing at his cheek aggressively. “You study too much.”
Jungwoo pouts adorably. “It’s not my fault. I just have tough classes, and the major I’m doing is hard. My professors aren’t helping either.”
“You need to rest, Woo.” It’s not the first time Jaehyun has taken a good, long look at Jungwoo’s face, but past his friend’s handsome features, he can see the dark circles under his eyes and the deep seeded exhaustion lining his face.
“I…” Jungwoo huffs, as if he’s unhappy with the fact, but he doesn’t protest.
“Let me tell you about my day,” Jaehyun offers.
Somehow, over the course of the next 5 minutes, Jungwoo’s head ends up in Jaehyun’s lap, Jaehyun stroking his fingers gently through the younger’s fluffy hair. He’s still talking, though Jungwoo seems to only be half-listening, his blinks slow and languid.
Maybe Jaehyun has ulterior motives. He’s been told (mostly by Jungwoo) that his voice is calming, and he cares about his friend. Jungwoo needs sleep, and Jaehyun is willing to do anything to make sure he gets at least a little bit.
His plan seems to be working, because seconds later, Jungwoo’s eyes slip shut and don’t open again. Jaehyun lets his words fade out as he listens to Jungwoo’s breathing even out. He’s asleep, finally.
Jaehyun leans his head against the tree behind him. His leg is falling asleep, but he doesn’t dare move for fear of waking his roommate. His class starts in a little more than 30 minutes. Good, that should be just enough time for Jungwoo to get a decent nap in.
He lets his eyes drift to Jungwoo’s face, roam over his friend’s defined features. He’s handsome even in sleep, pretty lips parted slightly and cheeks reddened. Jungwoo’s just gotten more and more attractive the longer Jaehyun’s known him. He thinks that Jungwoo would be just his type, if he wasn’t already his best friend.
Someone is walking up the grass towards Jaehyun and Jungwoo, and he recognizes it to be Sicheng. His other good friend, the first one he made during his first year of college, before Jungwoo joined him. He still tries to make time for Sicheng, and he knows they both cherish each other’s friendship, however much Sicheng likes to deny he enjoys being with Jaehyun.
Sicheng quietly takes a seat next to Jaehyun, eyes trained on Jungwoo asleep in Jaehyun’s lap. He glances at Jaehyun.
“Is this new?” he whispers.
“Is what new?” Jaehyun mutters back.
They’re both trying to be quiet so they don’t disturb Jungwoo.
“This.” Sicheng gestures to Jungwoo and Jaehyun. “Whatever this is. Are you two finally–”
“I don’t know what you mean.” Jaehyun frowns at Sicheng, looks down at a peacefully sleeping Jungwoo, and then looks back at Sicheng. “He needed rest, so I helped him out. As a friend.”
Sicheng raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Damn. And here I thought you both finally figured your shit out.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Clearly,” Sicheng whisper-yells at Jaehyun, “you’re not ready to find out.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Sicheng rolls his eyes. “Never mind. I can’t be around your dumb obliviousness anymore.”
He’s been here for literally 30 seconds. Jaehyun shakes his head in annoyance as Sicheng gets to his feet and brushes dirt off of his pants.
“By the way,” Sicheng glances back down at Jaehyun. “Did you tell him about your date?”
He motions to Jungwoo with his chin.
“Yeah. Why?”
Letting out a long, exhausted sigh, Sicheng squeezes his eyes shut and mutters something to the sky. “Idiot. You’re an idiot, Jae.”
Then he’s gone, leaving Jaehyun far more confused than before.
————————
This is one date Jaehyun really does regret going on.
Honestly, he should have expected it. Everyone knows that accepting a date from notorious party animal Nakamoto Yuta is a recipe for disaster. But Jaehyun has been bored out of his mind lately, so he jumps at any opportunity for some action.
He should have jumped his ass back home. Anywhere but here, in this smelly, packed, obnoxiously loud nightclub in some town miles away from his university.
Jaehyun is drunk, and he knows it. Yuta, before ditching him, had coaxed him to have more than a few drinks, and of course Jaehyun hadn’t said no, because he was a sucker for free things. First free coffee from Mark, and now free alcohol from Yuta.
Huh, maybe he’s becoming a freeloader, living off of leeching other people’s food and money and possessions. Or maybe this is a thought for when he’s sober.
So yeah, after a few suspicious looking purpley drinks that he had quickly taken a liking to, Jaehyun’s mind is fuzzy. Blurred by the haze of alcohol. He doesn’t even make an effort to look for Yuta again, knowing that the other man is lost in the crowd of people grinding up against each other on the dance floor. And like hell is Jaehyun going to even think about going in that nightmare fest.
He should have never agreed to come. He should have never talked to Yuta in the first place. It was common knowledge that the rowdy, brash college senior was still hung up on his ex, a man named Johnny who had graduated the year before. Jaehyun was just a placeholder. In fact, he wouldn’t even be surprised if Yuta took him to this club solely because the other knew Johnny would be here. He was probably making out with the guy right now.
Jaehyun doesn’t care. It’s too loud, too stuffy inside here. Everything feels tilted off kilter. He just wants to go home.
The only problem is that Yuta was the one who drove them both here. Another bad decision on Jaehyun’s part, but it had been pretty hard to refuse when Yuta’s whole thing is being stupidly convincing.
Like he said, Jaehyun is desperate for action and Yuta is a player. They’re horrible for each other. It was a mistake to begin with.
Jaehyun just wants to go home. Back home, to a pair of warm arms and sweet eyes. Floppy brown hair and the softest face in the entire universe. Home means Jungwoo.
Jungwoo. Jungwoo has a car. He also has a phone.
Jaehyun scrambles for his own cell phone, barely managing to navigate to the contacts app through the cloud of alcohol fogging his brain. He clicks the first name. Waits three rings.
Jungwoo picks up. “Hyung?”
It goes to show how drunk Jaehyun is when the first thing he feels when he hears Jungwoo’s voice isn’t relief. It’s concern, because it’s close to 2 in the morning, and Jungwoo doesn’t sound like he’s just been woken up from his sleep. In fact, he sounds like he hasn’t slept at all.
“Woo, are you asleep?” Stupid question, he knows.
“Yes,” Jungwoo sounds exasperated, “Clearly I’m sleeping right now. Did you need something?”
“Woo…” Jaehyun’s voice trails off.
“Jaehyun hyung?” He can hear how Jungwoo’s voice instantly switches from annoyed to worried. “Did something happen? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” Jaehyun lets out a deep, drunken sigh. “But Yuta ditched me for Johnny, and he was my ride here, and Jungwoo, my head hurts.”
Sighing in resignation, Jungwoo mutters something under his breath. “Okay, you sent me the address earlier. Just wait 20 minutes, I’ll be there ASAP.”
“Kim Jungwoo, you are an angel on earth.” He sends Jungwoo a loud, smacky kiss over the phone.
“Just–” Jungwoo pauses. “Drink some water, and don’t get kidnapped.”
The line hangs up with a “beep, beep, beep.” Jaehyun sits back and waits.
20 minutes later, Jungwoo’s trusty old car pulls up to the front of the nightclub. The roommate in question hops out of the driver’s seat and hurries over to Jaehyun, who’s sitting with his head in his hands.
“Jae, how are you feeling?”
“Drunk.” Jaehyun giggles. “And tired.”
“The things I do for you…” breathes Jungwoo, in a mixture of worry and exasperation.
He hoists Jaehyun up and helps him to the car, pushing him into the passenger seat and buckling his seatbelt for him. Jungwoo gets back into the driver’s seat and soon, they’re on their way back to the apartment.
Jaehyun’s eyes threaten to slip shut, but Jungwoo shakes his arm lightly.
“Hyung, don’t fall asleep. I can’t lug you up 3 flights of stairs by myself. And I need to make sure you drink water and take some medicine.”
“But I’m tired,” Jaehyun slurs.
“Don’t be.”
“Not fair. I have no choice, Woo.”
“Fine.” Jungwoo lets out an audible sigh. “Okay, look over there in the sky. Do you see those three stars?”
Jaehyun tilts his head to look out the window. “Yes.”
“That’s Orion’s Belt. Those three stars in a perfectly straight line are part of a larger constellation, Orion.”
Of course Jaehyun knows this. He’s only been best friends with Jungwoo, the biggest astronomy nerd ever, for 8 years. But he loves listening to Jungwoo talk about the subject he has such a passion for, so he never says anything when his friend brings it up.
“It’s amazing, isn’t it? How we humans have found these patterns in dots in the sky? They’re not even dots. They’re giant, burning hot balls of gas millions of light years away, but from our perspective, we can view them as the outline of a human being. It’s all about perspective.”
Jungwoo has his eyes trained on the road in front of him, but from Jaehyun’s position in the passenger seat, he can see how the younger is smiling slightly.
“For example, in certain parts of the world, they see from a different perspective. No light pollution at all. From that perspective, you can see so many other stars, even the Milky Way.”
Jaehyun looks back outside, in the night sky, at the small scattering of bright, shining stars. He looks back at Jungwoo. There’s no difference, in his opinion.
“It’s such a humbling thought, isn’t it? That we’re just tiny insignificant beings on this tiny rock in a tiny corner of space? If you look from a certain perspective, you can see the galaxy we’re in. You can see thousands of ginormous, flaming, balls of gas.”
Jaehyun doesn’t say a word, staring at Jungwoo. His side profile, as the younger smiles at the road in front of him. Maybe it’s the alcohol in Jaehyun’s system, but illuminated by the light of the moon, Jungwoo looks like he’s glowing.
“One day, I want to see the universe from a different perspective. For me, it could mean traveling a thousand miles away to a place on Earth where I can see the stars. But really, in another perspective, it’s like I’m going nowhere. From the universe’s point of view, I’m not moving. It’s fascinating.”
Before Jaehyun knows it, they’re pulling into their apartment’s designated parking space. Jungwoo helps him out, and then they take a second to look up at the night sky.
“We’ll never be able to see all of the stars in the sky. But it feels like we can, because from where we’re looking, from our perspective, there are only so many stars. Really, there are more than we can ever count.”
Jaehyun thinks he doesn’t need to see all the stars in the sky. He’s got the brightest one standing right in front of him.
They trudge slowly up the stairs, because the elevator is broken and has been for the last 4 weeks. Jaehyun really needs to contact the landlord to get it fixed. Finally, they make it up to their apartment door.
Jungwoo punches in the keycode and swings the door open. Jaehyun stumbles to his bedroom, clumsily slipping his shoes off in the meanwhile. He passes the dining table, where he can see Jungwoo’s textbooks spread out and open yet again. So Jungwoo hadn’t been sleeping, he’d been studying again. Jaehyun makes a mental note to nag Jungwoo about his sleeping habits again, even though he knows he’ll probably forget it in the morning.
He flops on his bed and lets out a long breath, arm over his eyes. Jungwoo walks through his bedroom door a minute later, carrying a tall glass of water and some tablets. He sets them down on Jaehyun’s bedside table, plopping down onto the bed next to Jaehyun himself.
Voice soft, Jungwoo runs a comforting hand along Jaehyun’s arm. “Take the tablets and drink lots of water, Jae. And make sure you get some rest.”
Jaehyun pouts. “But I’m not tired.”
Then he yawns, big and wide, which makes Jungwoo laugh. “Clearly.”
“Were you studying late again? I thought I told you to stop at 9:00. It’s…” Jaehyun glances at his alarm clock, vision still blurry because he’s nowhere close to sober right now. “Almost 3:00 AM.”
“Well, homework is homework. I have to finish it one way or another. And besides, at least it meant I was awake to rescue your sorry butt from that garbage fire of a date.”
He says the word “date” with a strange amount of contempt, though Jaehyun can’t be bothered to try and decipher it right now.
He just tackles Jungwoo in a sloppy hug, making the other yelp and tumble back against the headboard. “You take care of me so well, Woo. I wouldn’t be able to live without you.”
Jungwoo freezes, cheeks turning red, and Jaehyun is suddenly aware of how little space is between their faces right now. So he does the only logical thing a very drunk Jaehyun would do: he kisses his roommate.
Surging forward, Jaehyun presses his lips to Jungwoo’s before he can even think anything through. Jungwoo lets out a tiny squeak of surprise, but Jaehyun quickly swallows it as his kisses become deeper, more desperate. Jaehyun takes it all in, the taste of Jungwoo’s lips and the feel of the younger’s body against his own– it feels right, somehow.
Jungwoo doesn’t pull away, but he also doesn’t kiss Jaehyun back nearly as passionately. For a second, Jaehyun is worried that he’s done something wrong. And then he feels a wet tear on his face that’s not his, and he pulls back quickly, and when he sees that Jungwoo is crying, he knows he’s done something wrong.
“Sorry, Jungwoo, I–”
“Don’t, hyung. Just…just go to sleep. You’re drunk right now.” Jungwoo rubs at his eyes and gets off the bed.
Jaehyun tries to protest, but he quickly realizes his exhaustion. His thoughts are running wild as he tips backward to rest his head on the pillow. But his brain is in a fog, and the second his eyes fall shut, he’s dead to the world.
————————
Jaehyun wakes up the next morning feeling like he’s been run over by a bus.
His head is pounding, his body is sore, and he can’t seem to remember anything from last night. Nothing at all. Thank god it’s Saturday, because Jaehyun is in no shape to go to class today.
He drags himself out from under the covers, and the first thing he sees is the glass of orange juice and the two aspirin tablets placed carefully on his table. Definitely Jungwoo’s doing. He is actually an angel in disguise.
Jaehyun takes a sip of the orange juice and downs both tablets in one go, mustering up the resolve to pull himself out of bed, which he eventually does. Trudging to the kitchen, Jaehyun calls out Jungwoo’s name, but there’s no answer.
It’s odd because normally, every Saturday, Jungwoo wakes up early-ish to cook a weekend breakfast for the two of them. Today, there’s a breakfast set out on the table, but there’s no Jungwoo to be found.
There’s a post-it note stuck near a plate piled high with eggs and bacon. It says, “Morning, Jae. Eat the eggs and bacon, and grab a banana. They’re good for hangovers. Call me if you need anything else,” in Jungwoo’s signature perfect handwriting.
Jungwoo normally always tells Jaehyun where he’s going, but right now, Jaehyun’s completely clueless. Either Jungwoo forgot to tell him that he was going out, or Jungwoo had told him last night, and Jaehyun had forgotten that bit of information along with whatever had happened the night before.
After taking a bite of the food Jungwoo’s left for him, Jaehyun pulls out his phone to text the man in question.
————
Obok-ie ❤️🐶
—
You: woo, where’d you go 🥺
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: Read at 10:26 AM
You: seriously, where are you?
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: i’m out, hyung
You: out where?
You: it’s saturday morning. you don’t have classes today
<Obok-ie ❤️🐶: why does it matter? i’m allowed to leave the house, right?
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: since when have you cared so much anyways
You: why are you being like this woo
You: you know i’ve always cared. you’re being unfair.
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: Read at 10:29 AM
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: i’m meeting a friend for brunch and then i have a study group meeting. happy?
You: that’s really all i wanted to hear.
————
This is the closest the two have ever really come to having a full-blown argument.
Sure, they’ve had their little spats and disagreements here and there. It’s part and parcel of having a best friend. But this is the first time Jaehyun has ever received any kind of straight animosity from Jungwoo.
He wonders if he’s messed up somewhere. Maybe something happened last night?
Jaehyun groans and holds his head in his hands. Something probably had happened last night. But as much as he wracks his brain, he can’t remember anything.
How much of an idiot has he been to make even Kim Jungwoo mad at him? Kim Jungwoo, the sweetest person Jaehyun has ever met. Jungwoo, known for his rational thinking. His patience and dedication. His kindness.
He bites down on a piece of bacon, cooked to perfection, just the way Jaehyun likes it.
He’s fucked up– pretty badly, hasn’t he? And he has no idea how to fix it.
————————
Thankfully, Jaehyun doesn’t need to think too deeply to find a solution. Things with Jungwoo go back to a sort of relative normalcy over the course of the next week.
He says relative because something is still off, and it’s clear in the way Jungwoo is still stiff around Jaehyun. It stings, a pain like no other, but he can also sense that it’s not something he should be asking about.
Jungwoo still stays up to absurd hours to study, but he doesn’t ask Jaehyun to study with him like he had always done before. He still slips a granola bar into Jaehyun’s bag every day, because he knows that Jaehyun tends to get hungry between his classes, but the snack is no longer accompanied by one of Jungwoo’s silly little notes that he used to take the time to write to Jaehyun daily. They’re still roommates, still best friends, but something has shifted.
This hurts Jaehyun more than he’ll ever admit. Losing even a little part of his relationship with Jungwoo is far, far worse than the pain from being rejected over and over again by random dates who he’ll never talk to again. Jungwoo has always been there, the steady source of light and warmth who Jaehyun could always come back to on days when it was hard to keep going.
Though he’s still technically always there for Jaehyun, the distance between them right now is more tangible than ever, and it’s tearing Jaehyun apart.
He channels this energy into his studies, putting more effort than he’s ever put in, all in an attempt to drown himself in work.
He walks out of his Business Modeling class with a pep in his step. The professor had returned grades for their recent test, and Jaehyun had been pleased to see that he’d received one of the highest scores in the class, a 91%.
On top of that, he’d also found the courage to ask out a cute senior in his class. He’s scheduled a casual dinner date with Kim Doyoung tonight at 6:45.
It’s a vain attempt to block out all the drama happening with Jungwoo. Jaehyun needs to feel something other than sadness, regret, and a strange sense of longing.
Besides, he’s always admired Doyoung from afar, always thought the other was rather pretty. It’s about time that Jaehyun’s taken the opportunity to ask him out, even weirder given the frequency at which Jaehyun dates around.
He decides right then and there that he’s going to enjoy himself tonight. Doyoung seems nice enough that maybe this date won’t end up like as much of a disaster as some of Jaehyun’s other ones.
————
Obok-ie ❤️🐶
—
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: my class just finished
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: i was going to head to the supermarket rq did you need anything from there hyung
You: can you make sure you grab butter? unsalted pls
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: okay
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: i can pick something up for dinner tonight too
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: if you’re going to be home
You: oh sorry woo
You: i have a date with kim doyoung 😌
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: Read at 4:03 PM
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: from your business modeling class right
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: the one you kept telling me was cute
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: congrats
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: enjoy your date hyung
You: Read at 4:05 PM
————
Jungwoo hasn’t returned by the time Jaehyun leaves for the restaurant. He’s rarely home anymore, always having an excuse to not spend time at home. With Jaehyun.
Whether it be study groups, coffee meetups, or library cramming, Jungwoo isn’t available anymore. Jaehyun can’t say he doesn’t miss his friend. Actually, it’s more of a strong feeling of loss, a knife carving holes in his heart every time Jungwoo says he’s too busy to be with Jaehyun.
Leaning his head against the bus’ window, he lets his head thud against the glass with every bump on the road. As a student, he gets free access to the university city’s public transit lines, and he’s abused that privilege in every way possible. Obviously, though, public transit can’t get you everywhere, and that’s where having a best friend who can drive comes in very handy. Jungwoo’s always been open to driving Jaehyun around.
His thoughts have strayed back to his roommate again, without him even realizing it. God, he’s like a lovesick puppy.
The bus arrives at his stop, and Jaehyun hops off, adjusts his outfit, and sets off in the direction of the restaurant. He’s chosen a simple, casual sit-down place that’s one of his go-to places for dinner. Jungwoo in particular loves the way that they make their chicken shawarma. He says it’s the perfect balance of juicy and spicy, and he loves eating it with the restaurant’s fresh-baked pitas, because they do this thing where–
Wow. Jungwoo, again. Jaehyun doesn’t know why he’s being like this.
Walking into the restaurant, he quickly finds a seat for two and sits down. Doyoung arrives just a few minutes later, greeting Jaehyun with a smile. They go up to the counter to order their food; Jaehyun goes with his regular order.
“What do you recommend?”
It takes Jaehyun a second to realize that Doyoung is asking him. He turns to the other, eyes wide. For a second, he isn’t sure what to suggest, but an order pops into his mind.
“Try the chicken shawarma with the fresh pita. That’s what my roommate always orders, and he says it’s really good.”
Doyoung laughs. “Well, if it has the roommate stamp of approval, then it must not be that bad.”
So that’s what he goes ahead and orders. All the while, Jaehyun is internally cursing his mind for thinking so much about Jungwoo, especially when he’s on a date with…someone who’s not Jungwoo.
They pay individually, and a few minutes later, they get their food and take seats at the table. Jaehyun bites into his kabob wrap and lets out a tiny sigh of contentment. This place has the best food. It was actually Jungwoo who first suggested trying the restaurant out, since–
Not Jungwoo again. Jaehyun has to stay focused.
Across from him, Doyoung looks just as enamored with the food. “Nice pick, Jaehyun. I’ll have to make a note to come back here another time.”
Jaehyun smiles, and they’re back to silence. Great.
“So,” he tries to make some small talk, “what do you like to do in your free time?”
Doyoung chews for a second before answering. “I sing. And I like to garden. But since I’m double-majoring in both business and psychology, I don’t really have much free time anymore.”
Jaehyun nods in sympathy, then waits for Doyoung to ask him the same question back, as was normally the common courtesy. When the other says nothing, the awkward quiet stretching for a few seconds, he takes it upon himself to add on.
“Um, yeah. I enjoy drawing and watching K-Dramas. I’m actually in the middle of one right now. Have you ever watched or heard of Dear.M? It’s on Netflix.”
Doyoung seems to think for a moment. “No, I don’t think I’ve heard of it.”
“It’s pretty good, you should watch it.”
“Okay, I’ll add it to my list.”
And nothing once more. Clearly conversation does not come as easily between Jaehyun and Doyoung as it does with Jaehyun and Jungwoo. Perhaps he’s just thinking of Jungwoo as the standard now.
The back-and-forth continues like this for around 10 minutes, the convo dry and the atmosphere kind of awkward. At one point, Doyoung excuses himself to use the restroom, and Jaehyun suppresses his sigh of relief.
As soon as Doyoung is out of sight, he takes his phone out. The first thing he sees is a text notification from Jungwoo, which he clicks open instantly.
————
Obok-ie ❤️🐶
—
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: how’s the date going so far hyung
You: it’s very awkward rn 😭
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: oh no 💀 what’s going on
You: well doyoung just went to the bathroom
You: but before that it was so strange
You: it felt like neither of us could hold a conversation
You: everything i tried to talk about just fizzled away after a couple of minutes
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: ah that sucks
Obok-ie ❤️🐶: Sent a pic
————
The picture that Jungwoo sends is an obnoxious overlay of a cartoon dog on top of a background of the Milky Way galaxy, captioned with a brilliant, “Sounds like he just needs some space.”
It’s so absurd that it makes Jaehyun laugh out loud, which is the exact moment Doyoung decides to come back from the bathroom.
“Whatcha laughing about?” He asks as he sits in his chair again.
“Oh, nothing.” Jaehyun puts his phone on the table so he can focus back on Doyoung, but as he does that, he catches sight of another picture that Jungwoo’s sent. This time, it's Neil Degrasse Tyson looking self-assured. The caption reads, “You’re out of this world. I’m over the moon for you!”
This, despite being ridiculously corny, sends Jaehyun into a fit of giggles. Doyoung raises an eyebrow in amusement.
“Nothing, hmm?
“Just my roommate sending me stupid puns.” Jaehyun moves to turn his phone off, a smile on his face. “It’s kind of his thing.”
“What type of puns?” Doyoung looks genuinely curious, for some reason.
“Space puns. He’s an aerospace major, you see. I’ve known him for 8 years, since middle school, and he’s always been interested in outer space.” Jaehyun gazes off to the side. “We’ve always joked that he’s not a very down-to-earth person, but he’s more practical than I’ll ever be.”
His expression must have shown some hint of sadness, because Doyoung clicks his tongue. “Something’s wrong, isn’t it?”
Attention back to Doyoung, Jaehyun blanches. “What? How did you know?”
“Psychology major, remember?” The older smirks. “I’m trained in reading body language.”
“Oh. Well, yeah. Something is wrong lately. I think I messed up somewhere, because he’s been acting so distant now. Ever since last week. I was…” He glances back up at Doyoung, hesitant, but the older only nods slightly, urging him to go on.
“I was drunk, and I must have done something big to make him upset. The only problem is that I don’t remember anything from that night.”
Doyoung winces. “Yeah, that sounds bad.”
“Pretty bad. We’ve always been super close. I tell him everything and he does the same. We spend so much time with each other that I don’t think I could live without him.”
He feels bad, suddenly, to be talking about another person when he’s supposed to be on a date with Doyoung, but the older’s eyes show nothing but encouragement. Probably comes from being a psychology student.
“I guess he’s kind of fit himself into every corner of my life. And he’s everything I aspire to be. He’s an excellent student, he’s dedicated, caring, hardworking, compassionate. We’re opposites, but we attract so well.”
“I see…” Looking intrigued, Doyoung narrows his eyes in interest and takes a bite out of his pita.
“And I know it’s a myth that ‘opposites attract’ and all, but I just feel drawn to him. He’s so magnetic. He cares about me so much. He makes me breakfast and drives me places and studies with me. Even last week when I was drunk, he came to pick me up at 2 in the morning and took care of my hangover in the morning, even though I was probably an asshole to him the night before.”
He sighs. “Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve to have him.”
Then he remembers where he is, and quickly goes to apologize to Doyoung. “Sorry. This isn’t my own personal therapy session.”
“Don’t apologize.” Doyoung offers him a small smile. “It’s what I’m studying for. And besides, I think I know how to help you.”
“You do?” Confused, Jaehyun looks up from where he’s staring forlornly at his empty plate.
“Yep. Tell me, when you say you ‘don’t deserve to have him,’ does that mean that you believe that he’s yours?”
“I…” Jaehyun trails off. “I don’t know?”
“I’m not entirely aware of your entire situation, but judging by the way you speak of him, you’re obviously more fond of him than you’re letting yourself believe.” Doyoung sounds like he’s switched on his analytical, scientific mode, talking like Jaehyun is one of his patients. “And I’m pretty sure he feels the same way.”
“But how do you know?” Jaehyun stares at Doyoung. It feels like the sun is finally shining after years of dark clouds.
“Come on. He sent you space puns to make you laugh.” He gestures at Jaehyun’s phone, smirking. “He took care of you when you were drunk. He makes you breakfast. What kind of normal roommate does that? Mine certainly didn’t.”
“He even knows exactly how I like my eggs and bacon done…” Jaehyun mumbles, slowly coming to a realization.
Doyoung sits back in his chair, crossing his arms and wearing a satisfied look. “I think you know what you have to do. You should go home, Jaehyun.”
Jaehyun pushes his chair back, getting up to do exactly that, before he freezes in place. “Wait, but…aren’t we still, uh, on a date?”
“We’ll nullify this one. Besides, I’m not offended. I don’t think either of us really had our hearts in it. You have more important things to do, anyway!”
Picking up his trash and quickly throwing it away, Jaehyun hurries out the door, casting a goodbye to Doyoung. “Thank you, hyung! See you in class next week! And I’m sorry again!”
“Don’t be sorry!” Jaehyun glances back to see Doyoung waving at him, and he smiles before rushing to the nearest bus stop.
Jeong Jaehyun has something he has to say to someone who’s stood by him for years. And he can’t believe he’s waited this long to say it.
————————
Jaehyun unlocks the front door and pushes it open, stepping inside. He spotted Jungwoo’s car in its parking spot while he was walking up to the building, so he’s pretty sure that the other is home.
Sure enough, as soon as he sets foot in the living room, he can hear the sound of music playing, can make out the delicious smell of ramyeon cooking on the stove. Jungwoo is there, back turned away from Jaehyun, humming along to the song playing from his phone and stirring a pot slowly. On the counter next to him are open textbooks, meaning Jungwoo was studying even while cooking.
At the sound of Jaehyun walking into the living room, Jungwoo turns. Jaehyun can see the way his face lights up momentarily when he catches sight of him.
“Hyung!” Jungwoo pauses his music and turns the burner off. “You’re back early. Was your date over that quickly?”
Jaehyun says nothing.
Jungwoo keeps talking, absentmindedly stirring the pot of ramyeon. “You said it wasn’t going very well, so I figured I’d make some ramyeon for you. I didn’t know if you’d finish your dinner or not, but just in case, you know–”
Jaehyun starts walking towards Jungwoo in the kitchen, steps determined. Jungwoo stops in the middle of his sentence, clearly confused at why the heck Jaehyun is approaching him so quickly. Honestly, Jaehyun’s a little confused too, but he doesn’t care. He’s letting his heart lead this time.
Jungwoo makes a cute little noise of surprise when Jaehyun backs him against the countertop, far enough away from the stove that there’s no danger of getting burnt.
“Jae– what are you–”
“Woo.” Jaehyun cages Jungwoo in with one arm, the other arm reaching up to cup his face. “I’m sorry. I’m such an idiot.”
Face red, Jungwoo looks like he’s about to combust, but he has enough peace of mind left in him to laugh breathily.
“I agree with that statement, but where is this coming from?”
Instead of answering, Jaehyun leans closer and lifts his other hand to touch Jungwoo’s cheek. His words are barely a whisper, but to him, it feels like he’s screaming for the whole world to finally hear.
“Can I kiss you?”
Jungwoo’s staring at Jaehyun’s face, at his lips, and then he gives an almost imperceptible nod.
“Please.”
That’s all Jaehyun needs before his lips are on Jungwoo’s, the taste somehow familiar. It’s exhilarating, this feeling. His whole life feels like it’s slotting together.
Jungwoo lets one arm fall to the small of Jaehyun’s back, pulling his body closer. His other arm is tangled in Jaehyun’s hair, pressing their faces together. Jungwoo kisses like this is all he’s wanted for so long. And to be honest, Jaehyun thinks it probably has. Jaehyun has just been too blind to see the signs all along. It disappoints him that he could have been doing this— kissing Jungwoo— so much earlier.
But at least he’s doing it now, and it’s far better than what he had thought it would be like. Yes, he’s thought about kissing Jungwoo before. It’s hard not to when he’s so fucking pretty that Jaehyun melts every time he looks at him.
But this, the electric kisses, the gentle touches…Jaehyun thinks he could do this forever.
All too soon, it ends. Jungwoo pulls away first, breathing hard. Jaehyun puts one hand on Jungwoo’s chest, right over his heart, and rests their foreheads together.
“You’re not drunk this time, right?” Jungwoo whispers.
“Of course I’m not drunk this…” Jaehyun stops in his tracks. “What do you mean, ‘this time?’”
Jungwoo sighs, leaning back against the counter. “Last week, when you were drunk and I had to bring you back home, you…you kissed me.”
“I did?” Jaehyun knows he probably sounds like an absolute dipshit right now, but he’s just found out he’s kissed the pretty boy he has a crush on before and he doesn’t even remember it.
“Yeah, you did.” Jungwoo looks away. “I knew you didn’t remember it, but that was why I’ve been kind of distant this last week.”
So Jaehyun was right. Jungwoo has been avoiding him.
“Why?” Caressing his cheek, Jaehyun gazes at Jungwoo. “What happened?”
“You told me that I take care of you well, and then you kissed me. I was so surprised, but then I got worried. Insecure, you could say. I couldn’t stop myself from thinking that you were just kissing me because you were drunk and horny or something.”
“Oh.” Very intelligent.
“But I also have a massive crush on you, in case you hadn’t noticed.” Jungwoo grins shyly.
“I noticed,” Jaehyun deadpans, but he’s smiling too.
“It was what I had been wanting for so long, but it didn’t feel like it was real. You were drunk. I didn’t know if you actually liked me or if you were just kissing me because your brain was foggy and I was right next to you.”
“I guess I let the intrusive thoughts win, hyung. That’s why I pushed you away. I thought you saw me as a joke. As another one of your dates that you can kiss and tag and leave again.”
“Never, Jungwoo. I went on all those dates because I was convinced I had to find ‘the one.’ I don’t know how I didn’t see that you were right in front of me all along.”
Jaehyun leans closer, face barely centimeters away from Jungwoo’s. He can feel the heat radiating off of his cheeks.
“For the record, you’re the only person I actually like spending time with. There was obviously a reason that the universe kept making my dates so horrible. You were inherently the reason, Kim Jungwoo.”
Jungwoo giggles. “That makes me sound like I was sabotaging your ‘dates’ on purpose.”
“Not on purpose, but you definitely sabotaged them unconsciously, because while I was on those dates, all I could think about was you.”
He kisses Jungwoo again, just because he can, and again and again. Jungwoo melts into his touch like it’s second nature.
In between kisses, he manages to murmur a quiet, “I love you.”
Jungwoo stops and whispers, “Say that again.”
So Jaehyun does. Over and over again. He says those three words so many times that it starts feeling natural. He says it to make up for the 8 years that it took him to realize that it was true. Jaehyun loves Jungwoo. Unconditionally. And he thinks he has for a long time.
Jungwoo smiles against Jaehyun’s lips. “I love you too, Jaehyun.”
Tilting his head back slightly, Jaehyun gazes into the eyes that have become as familiar to him as the stars in the sky.
He’s sure that if he looks long enough, he’ll discover a galaxy in those eyes.