Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Eddie was fucked.
Completely and utterly fucked.
No matter the outcome of today, he always would be.

The people of Hawkins were out for his blood, fucking demobats were clawing their way into the twisted version of his uncle’s trailer, but he just couldn’t get the image of Steve’s smile out of his head.
That was stupid, considering he was pretty sure he was going to die.
“Eddie come on! Let’s go!”
The rational part of his brain, the one part desperately clamouring to any sanity he had left, begged him to run.
It would be easy, laughably easy in fact, to follow Dustin through the gate and back to relative safety. To bunker down and wait. Follow the plan.
But he knew, as much as he was a coward, that he would do anything for those kids.
Max was risking her ass to save him, voluntarily walking into the jaws of the beast, guarded only by Lucas and Erica. Not that Eddie thought they weren’t capable - the Sinclair siblings were a force to be reckoned with - but against Vecna? In no way was that a fair fight.
Not to mention Nancy, Robin and Steve were on their way in to the heart of the upside down. Their job was hard enough without the demobats losing interest in his bait.
And Dustin. The idiot brother he never had.

The demobats were almost through the door, and after that it would only be seconds before they swarmed through the gate. Dustin wouldn’t be able to fight them off, and this would’ve all been for nothing.
“Eddie, you’re so close!” Dustin was jumping up and down again, though the excited smile from yesterday had gone, this time replaced with pure fear. “Eddie, lets go!”
Those fuckers weren’t going to take him.
Before he was aware of his body moving, Eddie’s feet returned to the floor of the trailer, determination filling his every pore. Doing his best to ignore Dustin’s pained shouts, he grabbed his makeshift spear, cutting the bedsheet rope with a yell.

Dustin would be better off, he told himself as he ran outside, spear and shield in hand. He’d be alive, and Steve would be there to take care of him. All of them would be happy, and thriving, without having to deal with any of the shit that now came with being associated with him.
In his final moments, as he lay dying in the lap of a kid he saw as a brother, he only wished that Dustin had stayed in relative safety. He didn’t have to see him die like that.
An even more selfish part of him was glad to not be alone.

His eyes flew open as a dull pain radiated across the back of his head.
“Ah - fuck -”
As awareness snapped back to him, he scrambled to his feet, hand reflexively flying to his abdomen. At the lack of blood, he let out a string of curse words, free hand tugging painfully on his hair.
“I’m having a psychotic break,” he said to the trees, manic laughter escaping him as he took in his surroundings, “Or I fell asleep. I - yep. I sat down and fell asleep...”
His eyes locked on to the walkie that lay abandoned on the dirt, scrambling for it.

“Dustin, can you hear me?” He brushed off the sense of deja-vu, panic lighting up his entire body, “Wheeler?”
“Something happened?” Nancy asked, voice tinged with panic, “We’re almost there Eddie-”
The signal cut out, Robin speaking into it moments later “- Dustin is just getting us lost-” She was interrupted, though kept the button held down so that Eddie could hear the rest of the conversation
“I am not!"
Steve spoke next, “I’m telling you, we’re going the wrong way.”
“The compass says this way.” Dustin said, in the tone that suggested everyone else was stupid.
Robin spoke once again, “Just hang in a bit longer, okay?” She lowered her voice to a whisper, “I want to eavesdrop on the young lovebirds.”
“Rob-!”
The signal cut out with the beginning of Nancy’s scolding, Eddie dropping his head into his hands. He tried to shake off the feeling of foreboding, slapping his cheeks to get out of his funk.
“Get it together Munson. You’re not dead yet.”

By the time he had stepped foot on to the boat later that day, watching Steve ‘the hair’ Harrington take his top off, he had all but forgotten his weird dream.
It was just too easy to watch Steve volunteer to jump into the lake, to hold his discarded t-shirt close to his body and do his best to ignore the heat in his cheeks as he watched him dive in with perfect form.
Eddie zoned out staring at the water, chewing his lip anxiously as he waited for Steve.
“Oh Christ!” He flinched as Steve resurfaced, hair still somehow looking good as he swam to the side of the boat.
“I found it.”
“You found it?”
“I found it. Yeah, I-”

Before he registered what was happening, Eddie dropped the shirt and lurched forwards to grab Steve, hauling him back into the boat.
“What the he-” Steve’s complaint was cut off as the tentacle that had been reaching for his leg grabbed Eddie by the wrist, dragging him down into the water.
As he lay on the floor in the upside down, once again being gnawed on by demobats, Eddie’s thoughts wandered back to the dream. Maybe it was some kind of cosmic warning - one that he not only manages to ignore, but somehow trick fate into killing him a day early.
That seemed to be his kind of luck.
He fought off as many of their biting heads as he could, movements slowing as more and more of his body was stripped away.
“Eddie!”
Distantly, he registered a frantic Steve running towards him, oar held aloft.
He looked gorgeous.

“Fuck -” He sprang to his feet, eyes wild as they took in the familiar shape of skull rock. “Oh Jesus.”
He spent the next few minutes, pacing back and forth, hands tangling in his hair as he tried to understand his current predicament.
He must have been pacing for longer than he was aware, as Dustin’s sudden appearance by his side scared him half to death.
“Jesus H Christ, Dustin!”
“Woah-” Steve jogged over to their side, hand landing protectively on Dustin’s shoulder.
“I - sorry, man. You scared the shit out of me.”
The kid smiled warily, moving out from Steve’s hold and patting Eddie on the back, “It’s alright Eddie. We’re here now.”
He bit back a harsh laugh, “Nah man, it’s not okay.”
“I know -”
“No, you don’t know.” He rubbed his hands across his face, holding back a scream.
Lucas looked at him weirdly from his place by the entrance to the clearing. “We don’t know what?”
Eddie threw his arms up in the air, an incredulous smile on his face, “I keep dying!”
The group looked at him as if he had gone insane, and as he let the dark laughter bubble out of him, he thought they might be right.
Dustin was the one to break the uncomfortable silence - of course he was. The kid was too nice for his own good. “Eddie... you what?”
“I have died ...” He took a deep breath, “Twice.”
“You can’t have died -”
“I know! I know it sounds crazy, but I’m telling you. I have.” He was pacing again. “I got eaten alive by those fucking demobats-”
Dustin perked up, “Demobats? Like demogorgan bats?”
“Yeah, you’re the one that named them, dude.”
He grinned, “Sounds like me.”
Lucas frowned, “Wait, bats?”
“In the upside down - they’re there every time.”
“What? Where-?”
Max was the one to scoff, “Oh come on, you cant be seriously agreeing with him right now! He’s suffering a mental break. He’s taken what you told him at the boathouse and got it all twisted up in his mind-” She caught his eye, her tone blunt but kind, “I get how messed up this is Eddie. I do, but to keep dying..?”
Nancy turned to him sympathetically, “You have been through a lot... are you sure it wasn’t just a bad dream?”

Eddie dug his fingers into the flesh of his arm, realising he was fighting a losing battle. Steve looked at him weirdly, and the expression sent a pain through his chest.
Freak.
He thought Eddie was a freak.
He choked down his panic, flattening his expression in to a grimace. “Sure. Sure, I - Yeah.”
He ignored the strained look that Dustin gave him, brushing past the group and sitting heavily next to his walkie, tucking in to the box of cereal Nancy had dropped on the ground.
That loop ended with water clogging up his lungs, flailing about as he once again failed to save Steve from being dragged into the upside down. The last thing he saw was Steve’s soulless eyes staring back at him.

After that mess - and because Eddie couldn’t deal with being looked at as if he was crazy again - he decided to keep his discovery to himself. At least until he had more evidence to support his claim.
The discovery in question? He was in a fucking time loop.
At some point his rational brain had kicked in, his mind was racing with different D&D strategies. One of the first things he always preached to the newcomers in Hellfire?
Perception check.
He spent the next few loops simply observing, following the plan as set out by Nancy and making a mental list.

The gate at lovers lake.
The demobats.
Talking to the kids through the lights.
Vecna possessing Nancy.
Hijacking an RV.
Going to the army surplus shop.
Performing the hell out of Master of Puppets.

He did his best to avoid any alone time with Steve, the stubborn crush that he was developing was only distracting him.
Each loop seemed to inevitably end with him dying in Dustin’s arms.
No matter how hard he made it for the kid to steal back into the upside down, he always found a way.
Once, Eddie had literally gone through the trouble of not only blocking the gate, but making it impossible to get out of the trailer. The clever little shit had instead run down the road to the gate past the forest, jumping through and arriving at Eddie’s side just before he took his last breath.
Eddie didnt know if he was more annoyed or proud.

After he had gathered enough information, he started to try and make bigger changes.
At first he tried sticking to his original plan of pulling Steve out of the water before the tentacle could grab him, but after the fifth time of being dragged down by his neck, he changed it up a bit.
Robin could make it through with little incident, though the looks both Steve and Nancy gave him for suggesting it just wasn’t worth it, especially not when Robin had a panic attack in the woods on the way to the Wheeler house. She made a point of telling everyone how she was ‘going to lose all sense of self and become a big angry rabies monster’ and through her stuttered breathing managed to tell them that ‘the incubation period can be as small as two days, but by then it’d be too late because I’d be dead, Steve. Super, super dead.’

Nancy was talked into diving in the next loop, and whilst she made it through with less injury than Steve, Robin was impaled in her rush to follow her. Steve sobbing when dragging her body out of the lake - “Please Rob. You can’t leave me like this” - was something that Eddie never wanted to hear again.
That sound seemed stuck in his ears for the next few loops.

It took him an embarrassingly long time to figure out that he had to leave the Lovers Lake events just the way they were. Steve was a big boy, and seemed to be the only one that could handle being literally choked out by a demon bat. Only change to be made was to convince Steve to keep his shoes on - the shirt could stay off for... reasons.
Then all he had to do was follow the others into the lake, kick the shit out of some upside down creatures, and get the fuck out of there. Namely, back to Skull Rock, where he could watch Steve get patched up by resident nurse Nancy Wheeler.
Maybe it was wrong of him to say, but he didn’t know anyone could look so attractive when in that much pain. Eddie tried to distract himself from the image of Steve making those same pained moans in his bed by throwing his vest at his chest.
If a possessive part of him found pride in watching Steve walk around in his jacket, then that was nobody’s business but his.

He had wondered if there was any way to avoid the first trip to the Upside Down completely, but both times he had tried to redirect the group away from Lover’s Lake, they had run into the police.
The first time, an angry hick had followed the police on their search, cocking their shotgun and shooting as soon as they saw him. Issue was, as confident as he may have been holding the gun, his aim was shit and instead managed to blast a hole through Lucas’ stomach. In the chaos of that moment, the kids screaming and police running, he had reloaded and sent a shot directly through Eddie’s chest.

The next time, he tried distracting them out the other direction, but Dustin was so determined to prove his magnet-breaking compass theory that he ran off towards the lake on his own, Max chasing after him just in time to push him out of the way as a tentacle reached up through the water.
The following argument had attracted the attention of the police search party, the same angry hick shooting him in the gut from the tree line. It took longer to bleed out, though he found sick satisfaction in watching the police body tackle the man before his vision blurred too much to see.
Eddie decided that he really didn’t like being shot, and that he could handle the cold darkness of the Upside Down.

The walks through the upside down during their initial visit, surprisingly, became Eddie’s main source of comfort.
Sure, there was little difference between the conversations had by the group, to the point where he was beginning to learn them by heart, but the little break between constant terror was incredibly important to his sanity.
He had soon begun using this time to shamelessly flirt with Steve - his crush was too far gone now to be ignored - whilst the girls’ talked amongst themselves up ahead. He figured there was no harm no foul, and Steve was too busy trying to survive an evil monster to put too much energy into being homophobic.
That’s if he ever noticed Eddie was being genuine with his compliments.
As pretty as Steve was, he was apparently incredibly dense when it came to realising he was being flirted with.
“Come on man, Ozzy Ozbourne? Black Sabbath?” At Steve’s blank look, Eddie huffed a laugh. No matter how many times he had tried to explain it, Steve had always met him with a blank look.
“I don’t -”
“It doesnt matter, what I’m trying to say is it’s very metal... what you did.”
Steve gave him a hesitant smile, and god how he loves that smile. “Thanks?”
That loop ended slightly earlier than before, Jason spotting him as he popped out of the RV to use the public toilets just outside the War Zone, levelling the gun at his head and, to the jeering of his jock friends, pulling the trigger.

He only tried to include Dustin in his plan once.
He had brought him aside before heading into the upside down for the final assault, and Dustin had believed him after seeing the madness growing in Eddie’s eyes.
“Have you told me before?”
“Once, yeah. My second loop.”
“Did I...” he trailed off, seeing his answer in Eddie’s expression, “Damn. I’m sorry, man.”
“Don’t be, I would’ve thought you were playing a prank on me if you had said that shit.”
Dustin snorted, though the humour fell from his face as the implication set in, “How long have you been stuck?”
“Sixty two loops. Give or take a few.”
The boy hissed, wincing, “So you’ve -”
“Died viciously over fifty times? Yep.”
“You haven’t... done it yourself though, right?”
Eddie shook his head viciously, “No. Almost every time its been the demobats.” He laughed, lifting his sleeve up to show him his tattoo, “Kinda ironic, isn’t it?”
Dustin shook his head fondly, readjusting his grip on his spear as his expression turned dark, “We’ll need a codeword, something that you can tell me so I believe you.”
“Don’t think we’ll get it this time?”
Eddie’s joke fell short.
“This is the first time you’ve let me help. I haven’t had time to really use my genius yet. I’m just covering our bases.” He shrugged, smirking slightly, “Who knows, if you had told me straight away you might’ve been out of this by now.”
Eddie huffed a laugh, grabbing Dustin by the head and messing his hair up, “Don’t go getting too big for your boots there, Henderson.”
The two of them laughed, and for a few moments it was nice to forget the absolute shitstorm they were about to enter into.
“Farrah Fawcet” The name came out of nowhere, and Eddie looked at Dustin weirdly, waiting for him to elaborate. “The codeword should be Farrah Fawcett.”
“Like... the actress?”
“Yes.”
“Can I ask why?”
Dustin levelled him with a serious look, “I promised to never say.”
Eddie raised in hands in surrender, “Roger that.”

That time, before plugging in the amp, Dustin grabbed his arm. “Promise me you’ll tell me.”
“You won’t remember any of this-”
“So not the point, man. Promise me, and -” he averted his eyes, “don’t kill yourself.”
“As much as I’ve grown acquainted with death recently, I can assure you suicide is still not that high up on my bucket list...” He trailed off, Dustin looking at him expectantly. With a sigh, Eddie nodded, “Fine. I’ll do my best.”
Dustin held his gaze for a few moments, before nodding, seemingly satisfied. “Let’s do this.”

As Dustin bled out in his arms, Eddie screamed at the sky and begged the gods to take him instead. He would quite happily die a thousand times over if it meant he never had to see him choke on his own blood again.
Damn the promise, damn the surviving, damn everything.
As soon as he stopped moving, Eddie grabbed his spear, cupping Dustin’s cold cheek with his spare hand and looking into the red sky.
“Sorry, Dustin.”
He then proceeded to shove it through his chest.

After that, he ran.
He ran from the group, ran from the lake. Ran until his feet stopped dead in front of a familiar hedge - the Harrington house.
He had visited a few years prior, to deal weed at one of ‘King Steve’s infamous parties. He knew the way to the back gate, breaking open the back door and making his way directly to the front room, the glass shelves of alcohol standing proudly.
He instinctively reached for the bottle of whiskey, popping the top off and chugging the rest of the bottle. Wincing at the sharp taste, his shaking hands grabbed another bottle at random, gritting his teeth before pouring that bottle down his throat.
He stumbled over to the radio, turning it on to fill the suffocating silence of the room, letting out a crazed laugh as the beginning notes of ‘I’m Still Standing’ began to fill the house.
The universe had a sick sense of humour.
“Fuck you!” he shouted, throwing the empty whiskey bottle at the wall, smiling as the bottle shattered to pieces. As he worked his way through the booze, the front room became increasingly filled with smashed glass. There was something incredibly cathartic about trashing the place, releasing all the pent up emotions within him.
With only a bottle of wine left, he stumbled his way out to the backyard, losing his footing at the edge of the pool. His head hit the coping around the edge of the pool, body ricocheting into the water.
Different to the blind panic he felt in Lovers Lake, the pool had an aura of calm. The slightly warm water seemed to guide him gently to the bottom, and Eddie couldn’t find it in himself to fight the pull.

For twenty consecutive loops, he continued to visit the Harrington’s house, drinking himself into a stupor with their fancy liqueurs, and always dying as the pool embraced him in it’s unforgiving arms.
Still, the image of Dustin’s empty face remained.

Finally sick of waking up with a consistent hang over - fucking time loops should get rid of the alcohol’s effects, surely - he stopped running, too tired to keep going.
He must have been massaging his temples for too long, as Steve’s voice echoed through the clearing. “Oh, boom! Bada bing, bada boom. There she is, Henderson. Skull Rock. In your face, man. In your stupid, cocky little face.”
“Doesn’t make sense...”
Eddie’s heart clenched painfully at the sound of Dustin’s voice, his hands creeping up to dig his nails into his scalp. He couldn’t make himself look up.
“Even with it staring you in the face, you can't admit it. Can't admit you're wrong, you butthead.”
Eddie could feel the practiced words at the base of his throat, but his body felt too heavy, too tired. He instead stayed half-hunched over in the crook of Skull Rock.
“Where is - hey, Eddie?” Dustin’s voice got closer, boots entering his vision as a light hand landed on his shoulder, “Ed?”
A sob ripped it’s way out of his throat, and before he knew it he was pulling Dustin into a crushing hug.
“Don’t you ever do that again,” he said into his shoulder, words muffled.
Dustin, confused, just patted Eddie’s back, murmuring reassurance. “We saw - we didn’t know what to think.”
Peeking up from behind his hair, he saw Steve ushering the rest of them to turn around. Eddie was glad not to have too much of an audience.

Once he had gathered himself, he pulled away from Dustin, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “Sorry, man.”
Dustin just shrugged, eyes sad, “It’s okay.”
“Seriously dude,” Steve said, “I think that’s the most logical thing you’ve done this week.”
Max shuffled awkwardly, offering Eddie a small smile. “I think everyone’s kinda feeling like that at the moment.”
Nancy and Robin nodded their agreement, Lucas joining after being elbowed not-so-subtly by Max.
“Right! Right, you - this can’t be easy on you, man.”
Eddie laughed, bordering on maniacal, “Oh you have no idea Sinclair.”
That looped ended like the rest, though Steve had stuck closer to him than normal. He was a protector at heart, after all.

They were walking through the upside down again - Eddie still couldn’t figure out how to avoid this trip - when Robin grabbed his arm, turning so that she could see all around it.
“The hell, Buckley?”
“You went all zoned out -” she explained, grabbing his other arm and repeating the action, “I’m making sure you weren’t bit by one of those bats.”
“As much as I appreciate the sentiment,” he said, pulling his arm back and crossing them protectively across his chest, “I can assure you they didn’t get me.”
“Okay, so what are you zoning out for?”
He bit his guitar pick necklace anxiously, before looking at her with as much sincerity as he could muster, “The inevitability of my death.”
“Uhhh -”
Before she could answer, another one of the ‘earthquakes’ ripped through the upside down, dislodging a tree branch right above Robin’s head. Without thinking, he shoved her out of the way, falling underneath it’s trajectory instead.
He made sure not to zone out in the woods again.

Eddie was at a loss.
He felt trapped, like nothing he ever did actually made a difference. Which, realistically, it didn’t. Every single time he thought he was close to figuring out a way to live past his time in the upside down, he was quickly met with the cruel embrace of death and the day reset once more.
He had had enough.

“Farrah Fawcett.”
He said the name as soon as the group entered the clearing, making steady eye contact with Dustin.
There was a stunned silence, broken by Steve whacking Dustin across the back of his head, “What the hell, man?”
“Wha - I didn’t-” Dustin screeched, looking at Steve before whirling around to Eddie, “How did you -” He swivelled back to Steve again, “I swear I never -” and back to Eddie, “Tell him I never -”
The metal head couldn’t hold his laughter in, “Your face! Priceless, Henderson.”
“What is going on.” Max laughed, slipping the headphones off of her head, “Why does Dustin look like he’s about to have a stroke?”
“I - you - they -”
Lucas snorted, patting Dustin on the back, “You’ll get there buddy.”
Robin, forever curious, had gone over to Steve’s side and begun poking him in the arm, “What is it? What is it? I know you’re dying to tell me what it is Harrington so tell me!”
Steve waved her off, Nancy pulling her back, before he walked towards Eddie with a mixture of defensiveness and curiousness. “Why did you say that?”
“Honestly?” Steve nodded. “I’m stuck in a time loop and Dustin told me that should be our code word.”

“I know you’re all thinking that’s crazy,” Dustin said, after a considerable amount of time had passed, “But I know I never told him that, and it’s definitely something I would use as a code word.”
“Time loop... as in the one at the beginning of the campaign?” Lucas asked, frowning slightly.
“Yes and no,” Eddie replied, somewhat shocked at how effective using the words had been. It was only really Nancy and Robin looking at him like he was insane. Max just looked slightly interested, but Steve? Steve looked as if he was torn between agreeing with him or strangling Dustin.
As Lucas and Dustin started rapid firing questions at him, Steve walked closer, lowering his voice so that only Eddie could hear. “If he did... He didn’t... tell you why he chose that word did he?”
“No, just that he promised to never tell.” Eddie answered, a smirk pulling at his lips, “Why? Is it something really messed up, Harrington?”
“Wha - no -”
He moved closer, fully grinning now. “Because the way you’re acting? It’s highly suspicious.”
“I am not a highly suspicious person -”
“Guys can you stop for one moment and actually think here?” Dustin asked, annoyance clear in his voice, “You can’t just drop this bombshell on us then ignore us asking questions!”
“I’m sorry!” Eddie said, raising his hands in surrender, “Last time you didn’t exactly believe me this easily.”
“Last time -” Max trailed off, “Assuming that I believe you... how long have you been trapped exactly?”
“Uhhhhh...”
Robin’s eyes widened, “More than 50?” He nodded. “More than 100?”
“At this point? Probably, yeah.”
Nancy crossed her arms, “I’m still not convinced.”
Eddie sighed, rubbing his hands over his face, before meeting her eyes, “There’s a gate in Lovers Lake. Vecna opened it when he killed one of the assholes who were chasing me -” He turned to Lucas, “Sorry man, I know you knew him, but the point still stands -” He looked back to Nancy, “The gate leads to demobats, we end up getting stuck in the Upside Down, kids get arrested-”
“Arrested?!”
“Wait what -”
“- and then we end up having to go to a store full of angry hicks to get weapons, Jason’s there buying a gun.”
He took a deep breath, looking at the groups’ wide eyes before continuing, “Then we follow the plan Nancy makes, Dustin and I make a distraction, which may I tell you is fucking awesome, and then I die.”

Nancy’s brow deepened in thought, as Robin anxiously began chewing on her fingernails,“Did you say bats? Like - feral bats? They could have rabies, which is like, my number one fear. Did you know that once the symptoms set in that’s it. You’re dead. Super, super dead.”
“You know what, you have actually told me that before,” Eddie smiled, “Fastest incubation period is... 2 days, right?”
Robin blanched, “You’re kind of scaring me, I’m not gonna lie Munson.”
“This is- how did you start it?” Lucas asked, hands flying to his head, “The implications of this are insane - when does it restart? Is it the same every time?”
“I always wake up here, two days before I die. Never earlier, never later.”
“And it resets when you... die?” Dustin’s voice was quiet, greatly contrasting the excitement of Lucas beside him.
Eddie nodded.
“Wait, so pretending I believe you for a moment, you’ve never made it past dying during the distraction?” Nancy interrupted, “So you don’t know if any of that plan works in the first place?”
“Uh - no.”
She quirked her eyebrow at him, “You’re telling me in over 100 loops you’ve only ever died the way you did the first time?”
“I didn’t say that. I’ve died in quite a few different ways... just never later than that.”
Nancy just raised her eyebrows at him, Max huffing a laugh beside her.
“You’re stupid.”
“Thank you Max.”
“You’re welcome.”

Steve just continued to look at Eddie as if he were about to break down any second, Robin nudging him. “You’re staring.”
“Well the plan is simple,” Nancy stated, “We go check the lake out, and see if Eddie’s right.”
“So you’re just going to fight the bats... with your hands?” Lucas asked, unimpressed.
“Assuming there are any in the first place,” Nancy shrugged, “We’ve fought worse than bats. Besides, we don’t have time to go get any.”
Eddie just shrugged, “If we go about it as normal, then we don’t die.”
“There you go then.”
Robin raised her hand, “I vote for not going through the gate at all. I hate bats.”
“Not a choice, Rob -”
“But -”
Steve just gently pushed her hand down, shaking his head. “Worse case scenario, we die for as long as it takes for Eddie to reset the loop.”
Robin’s face dropped, “Wait, what? We’re just going to die?”
“You won’t remember it anyway,” Eddie said, trying to sound optimistic, “So technically you won’t have died at all.”
"But what if this is the one time the loop doesn’t reset - what if - what if you don’t die this time around and we’re all just dead -”
Eddie walked up to her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, “Buckley, I promise you that I’ll die.”
She nodded, patting his hand, “I never thought I’d be thanking someone for saying that -”
“You don’t have to. It’s a skill at this point.”

As Nancy gathered everyone and began the walk to the lake, Dustin pulled Eddie to the back of the group, frown even deeper than earlier.
“How long ago did I tell you that code word?”
“What?”
“Don’t bullshit me Eddie. How long have you tried to do this on your own?”
Eddie avoided Dustin’s eyes, instead fixing his gaze on the back of Steve’s head, “Long enough.”
“Oh that’s such crap - you know I would’ve helped you -”
“Dustin -”
“You don’t have to be alone in this! Maybe I could’ve helped more-”
“Ever stop to think that that might be the problem, Henderson? God. There’s some things that I should protect you from, and this was one of them, okay? Can you just -” He sighed, biting his bottom lip as he tried to steady himself, “Can you just trust me on this, please?”
Dustin went silent at his side, though Eddie forced himself not to look. He knew even just one glance of his pouting face would lead to him accepting the kids’ help.
His thoughts were cut off as Dustin engulfed him in a hug, the sudden movement almost tripping Eddie over.
“You’re not alone in this.” Dustin said, words muffled by Eddie’s jacket.
Tears began to fill his eyes, Eddie clearing his throat before returning the hug. “Thanks, man.”
It’s not his fault that he didn’t understand just how alone Eddie was.

Soon enough, they were at the edge of Lovers Lake, Steve arguing with the kids about where they should go. Nancy and Robin were discussing something under their breaths to the side, leaving Eddie to wordlessly move in practised motions, pulling the boat out from under the tarp and dragging it to the waterline.
“- but Steve!”
“No. Eddie said you get arrested, so you need to scram.”
“Where are we supposed to go exactly?” Max replied, unimpressed.
Lucas chimed in, agreeing with Max, “We can’t just leave you!”
“Im sure Eddie - hey, Eddie. Where are we supposed to go?”
“Uhh. I don’t know.”
Max crossed her arms, staring at him in disbelief. “You’re telling me you’ve been stuck in this loop for so long and you’ve never once stopped us from being arrested?”
“Well when you say it like that it sounds horrible. It just... wasn’t that important.”
“Not that important?” Dustin screeched, “What do you mean not that important?”
Eddie raised his hands in surrender, raising his voice slightly, “Well I’m sorry, okay! But when you’re marching back to your death because you have no clue what the fuck else to do, stopping you guys from being interrogated for a half hour is hardly that high up on my list!”
“Children, children!” Robin called, placing herself in between Eddie and the kids, “Now is not the time to fight.”
“He left us to the mercy of the law!”
Steve cocked his hip out, looking ever the image of an overworked mother, and sighed. Eddie could only nod in agreement.
“We could have been seriously injured-”
“Oh please. You just sit in the Wheeler’s front room while Max bullies the police officers. Then you talk to us through the lights when we get stuck in the upside down.”
Dustin looked at him, unimpressed. “So you think you’ve got it all figured out.”
“Well, yeah. Yes I have.”
Lucas laughed sarcastically, putting his hand on Dustin’s shoulder as the two of them slow-nodded in sync. “Well, Eddie the Banished, ever think that the reason we get delayed so much is that you’re just going along with how it’s always happened?”
“I agree with my friend here,” Dustin said, “Maybe if you weren’t so afraid of how people would react and just sped through what you know, you may win more time before dying.”
Eddie huffed a laugh, “Fine. In that case, I guess we don’t need to let you have your little ‘I worked it all out, hoorah!’ moment. So yeah, I guess you do get arrested for nothing.”
“Uh - Steve!”
Harrington ignored Dustin’s outcry, grinning instead as he helped the girls in to the boat, sarcasm strong in his voice, “Sorry Henderson - we can’t waste time, remember?”
Max snickered, sticking her tongue out at Lucas as he lightly elbowed her.
Nancy was the one to call order, “We stick to how it’s always happened for this loop. We can’t chance anything going wrong before it gets to the important point, got it Munson?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“That goes for you three as well. Stay safe and don’t be stupid.” When she was met with silence, she raised her eyebrow, “Do you understand?”
“Yes Nancy.”
Patting Steve’s shoulder as he clambered into the boat, Eddie waved sarcastically at the kids as the other man began to push the boat out.
“Have fun kiddies!” Robin called, arguably having too much fun watching Dustin’s mini meltdown, “Max, you’re in charge!”

Steve broke the surface of the water as always, the girls jumping slightly at his arrival.
“Munson was right, the gate -”
“You’re about to be dragged into the gate,” Eddie stated, “We’ll be right behind you.”
“Wha-” His words were cut off as he was dragged under.
Eddie sighed, grabbing Steve’s discarded shoes and stepping to the edge of the boat. Turning to the girls, he raised his eyebrow lazily, “You coming?”
They were sat looking at him as if he was crazy, Nancy throwing her hands into the air, “If you knew that was going to happen why didn’t you stop him?”
“I’ve replayed this far too many times, and this is the only way we all survive it.” He looked down at the water, “Though if we wait much longer Steve’s a-goner. Come on!”
He jumped into the water, two splashes following after him.
Once the bats were killed, Steve settled Eddie with a glare, “No warning? Seriously?”
He shrugged apologetically, already beginning to back towards the woods, “I can give you a warning now though - there’s a whole swarm of them about to arrive, so we need to get to the Wheeler’s house ASAP.”
Robin started to follow him immediately, muttering about rabies under her breath as she went past. Nancy lingered at Steve’s side for a moment before following, Steve being the last one to approach the woods.
“Seriously dude, no warning?”
Eddie gave him a sheepish smile, placing a hand on his back and guiding him towards the trees, “You always handle it fine.”

The half-run to Skull Rock was silent as always, the group too worried about attracting attention from the swarm of bats that were following closely behind. Eddie could hear Steve’s ragged breaths, and moved to put his arm over his shoulders, helping to steady him.
“Really I’m -”
“Steve, I know how bad this hurts. Just let me help you to the rock, okay?”
Harrington just nodded, too focused on staying upright to make a come back.
“Under the rock - and don’t touch the vines.” Eddie ordered, guiding Steve underneath before holding his hands out to help Robin and Nancy - they were fine without his help but he always found it better to help them, if only so Nancy stopped looking at him as if he would have a breakdown any second.
He shushed them all just moments before the bats flew overhead, Robin clutching on to his arm. The four of them sat in silence until the frantic flapping of wings could no longer be heard.
“Oh - okay,” she said, releasing his arm and crouching out from under the rock, “That was close.”
“Oh.. shit.” Eddie was by Steve’s side in a second, gently placing him against the rock before he could fall. As Steve started his ‘I’m fine’ spiel, Eddie silenced him with a look, stepping aside so that Nancy could approach.
She looked at his wound critically, frowning. “You’re not okay. You’re losing blood - come on, sit.”
Steve did as she said, Eddie crouching down beside him to tap his ankle, “I’m going to put your shoes on while she wraps you up okay?”
Steve looked at him hazily “I - yeah. Thanks man.”
“So, good news, I’m pretty sure wooziness is not a sign of rabies,” Robin began, rambling to fill the tense silence as Nancy ripped the bottom of her jumper, “but if you start having hallucinations or muscle spasms or you start to feel aggressive, like you wanna punch me, just let me know.”
“Robin?”
“Yeah?”
“I kinda wanna punch you.”
Eddie laughed, tying his shoelaces up before stepping away, giving Nancy the proper room she needed.
“Good, sense of humour’s still in tact. That’s a good sign.” As Nancy started to dress Steve’s wounds, Robin turned to Eddie, voice low. “He’s alright, right?”
“Lil ol’ Steve? He’s made of stronger stuff than some demon bats.”
Robin nodded, “Right. Right of course.”
He threw his vest at Steve on instinct, a smile creeping up his lips at Steve’s shocked noise. “For your modesty, dude.”
“Right - thanks.”
Nancy clapped her hands together, as if clearing her head, “Guns. We need guns.”
“We need to go to your house for bikes, Wheeler.”
“And the guns I have in my room.”
“They’re not there, but...” He trailed off, moving his hands in a dismissive gesture, “It’ll be easier to see it. Come on.”

As always, as soon as they re-entered the forest, the girls moved ahead, leaving Eddie with Steve at the back of the group.
"You know, I think you’re the only one that could make biting a bat look hot.” Steve raised an eyebrow. “Well, except Ozzy Osbourne.”
“Who?”
“The lead singer of Black Sabbath. He bit a head off a bat onstage - very metal.”
“So..?”
“So, babygirl, I’m saying watching you bite a bat was hot as fuck.”
He watched Steve’s cheeks turn a deep scarlet, kicking himself for not using that pet name sooner.
“I -"
“You’re cute when you’re flustered.”
Steve’s face turned a darker red, clearing his throat. “Well, thanks.”
They walked for about a minute in silence, before Steve spoke again.
“Do you always flirt with me?”
“After about the fifth time we talked in the woods, yeah.”
“Ah.”
“I can stop if it makes you uncomfortable. I just figured, no harm no foul, you know? You don’t remember and it’s not like you’ve called me a slur yet, so -”
“I would never, I-” he cut himself off, eyes darting to Robin before refocusing on Eddie, “I wouldn’t. Say those things, that is.”
“Okay, cool.” Eddie smiled, “And the flirting?”
Steve cleared his throat, looking torn on what to say. Deciding on mercy, Eddie held his hands up, grinning. “I’ll stop, I’ll stop. Changing topic.”
“Thanks.”

Eddie hit his thighs rhythmically, chains jangling, “You know, Henderson told me you were a badass. Insisted on it in fact.”
“Henderson said that?”
“Oh yeah, shit. Kid worships you dude - like annoyingly so. I guess I can see why now though.” Eddie gestured at all of him, “As much as I dont like caring so much about what that little shrimp thinks, I guess he was right. I just couldn’t accept the fact that Steve Harrington was actually a good guy.”
Eddie had committed this little speech to memory, and even though Steve never remembered it, he felt like it was important that every version he met got to know just how much Dustin - and by extension himself - admired him.
“Rich parents, popular, chicks love him and not a douche? I thought no way man, that shit like flies in the face of all the laws in the universe and my own personal Munson doctrine.” Steve laughed at this, an embarrassed humble laugh like always. Eddie leaned into Steve’s space as they walked, smiling teasingly, “Still super jealous as hell, by the way.”
Eddie cut himself off before going into the speech about him running off - there was no need to keep up the pretence this time.
Steve went to rub the back of his neck, wincing as the movement pulled at the cuts on his torso. “He talks about you a lot too, you know.”
“Really?”
This was new.
“Yeah. I kinda -” He laughed again, though this time it was slightly self-conscious, “I kinda thought you were replacing me. It’s always ‘Eddie said this’ or ‘Eddie did that’... we used to hang out a lot more before he joined that Hell club.”
“Hellfire?”
“Yeah. He thinks the world of you, I can tell. Probably his favourite person.”
“Are you kidding? He adores you, dude.” As Steve looked up hopefully, Eddie continued, smiling. “Talks about you all the time - of course I didn’t understand why he said you were such a badass ‘til now.”
“Hey, I was plenty badass in school.”
Eddie raised an eyebrow, following words coming out bluntly, “An asshole more like.” To his credit, Steve did look genuinely ashamed of himself, opening his mouth to apologise. “You would’ve thought that I hated you, but even then I couldn’t find it within myself. Even as you were calling me a freak I still thought you looked hotter than hell.”
“If you think me fighting with an oar was hot, you should’ve seen me with my bat.” Steve flashed a smile, though it quickly fell. “I am sorry, though. I was awful in high school - I - I like to think I’m better now.”
“I mean even the fact that you haven’t joined the mindless herd chasing after me and calling me a murderer is proof that you’re better than you were. Let alone everything else you’ve done.”
“I guess...”
Eddie smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder, “For what it’s worth? I like this you.”
Steve cleared his throat, eyes watering slightly, “Thanks.”

As if waiting for the end of their conversation, the earthquake ripped through the trees, Eddie jumping to steady Steve before he strained his cuts.
“Second on my list of unfavourite things, earthquakes. I’m unsteady enough as it is!” Robin whined, spreading her arms out as if that would help centre herself. Nancy looked at her for a moment before speeding out of the tree cover, “Nancy! Nancy, where are you going?”
As Steve and Robin turned to him for explanation, he gestured in the direction she ran, “It’s the house. We’re here.”

Thankfully for Eddie, Nancy took one look at the diary and managed to figure it all out, explaining it far better than he could’ve. By the time they’d talked to the kids through the lights and made it to the the fucked-up version of his trailer, Eddie was starting to feel something he hadn’t in a while.
Hope.
The feeling was dangerous, but goddamn it it if he wasn’t glad to feel something other than the endless black hole of despair that he had come accustomed to.
Through all of his previous loops he still hadn’t worked out how to break Nancy out of Vecna’s trance. He had collected a list of almost everyone’s favourite songs on his third loop - Steve had refused to answer every single time he’d asked - and had committed it to memory, but he didn’t have the tapes in his trailer. He also knew that it was important for Nancy to see the visions that Vecna gave her.
That still didn’t make it easy to watch as Nancy’s feet began to lift from the floor.

“Eddie! Do something!”
“She snaps o-”
Robin let out a horrified half-scream, “She snaps?”
“Gets out of it! Bad wording I’m sorry!”
Dustin pushed past the both of them, Eddie’s cassette tapes in his arms, “Come on people! Hustle! Hustle!”
As he dropped them on the floor, Robin began sorting through them, “We need Madonna, Bowie, Beatles - music! We need music!”
“That is music!” Eddie yelled, rubbing his hands over his face exasperatedly. He took a steadying breath, tugging on the end of his hair before standing underneath the gate on the ceiling, clearing his throat.
“Eddie what -”
“I swear, if any of you brings this up again, you’re dead.”
“What-”
Max shoved Lucas, “I wanna hear this.”
“Revvin' up your engine, listen to her howlin' roar, metal under tension, beggin' you to touch and go,” Eddie sang as he tapped out a beat with his foot, ignoring the eyes of the others on him, “Highway to the Danger Zone. Ride into the Danger Zone.”
“Tom Cruise,” Robin murmured, smiling slightly.
“Headin' into twilight, spreadin' out her wings tonight, she got you jumpin' off the deck -” he paused as Dustin shoved his acoustic guitar into his hands, throwing the strap over his shoulders before strumming, “ Shovin' into overdrive. Highway to the Danger Zone, I'll take you right into the Danger Zone -”
He stopped singing as Nancy came back to herself, gasping.
“Hey, hey, hey, woah it’s okay. I’m right here. Thank god you’re okay, come on -” Steve said, shoving the rope into her hands, “Let’s get the hell out of here.”

As soon as they had tumbled on to the mattress, Max pointed out that they’d be better off waiting in her trailer as her mum was on a night shift, so Steve quickly herded them across the road.
Eddie kicked into action, letting himself in, grabbing the spare blankets from the cupboard and meeting Nancy with them at the door, swaddling her with them and guiding her to the armchair.
“I keep forgetting that you’ve done this before,” Robin said, looking at him weirdly.
Eddie laughed, shrugging, “Might as well be useful.”
Robin gave him a strained smile, before moving to Nancy’s side, placing a hand on her shoulder. The rest of the kids got comfortable on the sofa, Steve sitting in between them.
“Hey Red, I’m going to make us some food if that’s ok?”
“Yeah, sure. You seem to know your way around here better than I do anyway.” She shrugged, too focused on Nancy’s shaken figure.
Steve moved to get up, Eddie holding a hand out to stop him, “You should hear what she has to say. Don’t worry about the food, I’ve got it.”
He looked as if he was going to argue, but Dustin’s hand on his wrist stopped him. The kid was more shaken up than he let on, and Steve seemed to recognise that, settling back into the chair and pressing his shoulder against Dustins’.

As the sun began to rise, Nancy spoke.
Eddie went about the practiced movements of making a fry up, using most of the food left in the Mayfield’s fridge. He did so as quietly as he could, not wanting to distract too much attention from Nancy as she explained Vecna’s vision.
He had the speech memorised by now, along with every horrified look that his friends’ faces held as they heard it.

Friends.
It was weird that that’s what they were to him now. Lucas and Dustin had always been in that box in his mind, but Robin? Max? Nancy Wheeler? Steve ‘the King’ Harrington? Never in his life did he think that he would call any of them a friend.
The weirdest thing was that he felt like he knew most of them inside out, but they only knew the little that they’d seen of him as his life fell apart. Any in depth conversation he had with them was wiped away with each loop, only impacting him. The implications were maddening, and with each loop the guilt and grief seemed to multiply as he watched the people he loved suffer again and again.
He was brought out of his trance as a hand landed on his shoulder.
“I think the bacon’s cooked enough there, Eds.”
Steve carefully took the pan out of his hand, taking it off the heat and adding the bacon to the plate. “Max is trying the Byers again, but we need to start talking about making this plan a reality.”
“Right - yeah. Uh -” he shook his head, slapping on what he hoped was a reassuring smile, “I’ll just put this on the table and get ready.”
He picked up the food-piled plate, placing it on the coffee table. “Grubs up. Eat what you can - it’ll be the last opportunity for a while.”
“Meaning?”
“We’re going to steal a trailer and go get guns.” He replied, matter-of-factly, “Oh, and Max I’m gonna need to borrow your halloween mask.”
“The mask... why?”
“For... dramatic flair.”
Dustin rolled his eyes, “Where do we get all these guns?”
"The War Zone, big gun shop just outside of Hawkins. It’s got everything, guns, knifed, grenades-”
“Grenades? How is any of this legal?” Robin asked, shocked.
“Well, lucky for us it is.” Nancy said, stepping into Eddie’s space and catching his eyes, “My plan - you said you don’t know if it works?”
“I’ve never made it that far, no.” He admitted, “But I can tell you that everything up to me dying during the distraction works perfectly.”
His attempt at humour failed again, Dustin frowning.
“We need you to stay alive long enough to see if it works.,” she replied, eyes glinting with determination, “Is there any point after the distraction that you can get to safety?”
“Yes. I get an opportunity.”
Steve interjected, “You’ve never taken it?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“It would mean me leaving the three of you to deal with an army of bats.”
Nancy settled her shoulders, “All that matters is that you see if it works. You can always reset the time loop.”
“Woah, woah - I know we believe him and all, but I still don’t really want to die.” Robin said, voice squeaking slightly.
“We won’t die,” Nancy reassured her, “We’ll just have to get out faster than before.”
Steve crossed his arms, “As much as I hate to say it, all we need to do is make sure that Vecna dies. If we’re doing all of this for nothing, at least then Eddie will know for next time and can correct the plan.”
Lucas looked at Steve weirdly, “I’m surprised you’re not telling us to sit this out.”
Steve huffed a laugh, “Oh, don’t get me wrong, you’re all going to stay as far out of danger as you can. Max is already going to be facing up to the lizard guy, you and Erica will just need to make sure she’s as safe as she can be out there, got it?”
“Roger that.” Erica saluted sarcastically.
Max re-entered the room, throwing the Michael Myers mask at his chest, “Let’s get going.”
He held the mask to his chest, “And if anyone needs the toilet, go now. We won’t be stopping on the way.”

Steve’s presence over his shoulder was comfortable and familiar, though Eddie had to fight to keep his focus on hotwiring the RV. The other kids had piled in through the window, and he knew it would only be a few moments until the couple outside realised what was happening.
“Where did you learn how to do this anyway?”
Eddie huffed a laugh, “Well, when other dads were teaching their kids how to fish or play ball, my old man was teaching me to hotwire. I swore to myself that I wouldn’t wind up like he did, but now I’m wanted for murder and hot-wiring a car, so.” He frowned slightly, “Really living up to the Munson name.”
“Eddie,” Robin piped up from her spot next to Steve, “I’m not sure I really love the idea of you driving.”
“Oh, I’m just starting this sucker,” he looked up from the wires, lifting half out of his seat to lean into Steve’s space, “Harrington’s got her, don’t you big boy?”
He pressed the exposed wires together as he watched the blush work it’s way up Steve’s neck, a grin spreading across his face. It only grew as Steve launched himself into the driver’s seat, Lucas screaming for them to go in the back.
As the RV began to move, Robin grabbed on to the back of the seat, looking at Eddie knowingly. He brushed off the sudden wave of nervousness, clearing his throat and focusing on the windshield with sudden intensity.
“They look pissed -”
“Well it’s not every day you lose a house and car in one foul swoop!”
Steve pulled out of the trailer park, Dustin and Lucas breaking out in applause, Eddie whooping along with them. He lived for this kind of chaos, and he took every win he could get these days.
Erica shook her head disapprovingly, though even she couldn’t hide the smile that was making it’s way across her face. Even Max was laughing, headphones over her ears.
“Remind me to never do that again,” Steve said, voice shaky.
“Are you kidding Harrington?” Eddie grinned, squeezing his shoulders lightly as he leaned over his shoulder, “You were insane!”
“Never thought I’d agree with grand theft auto,” Nancy said, voice light with humour, “But I’ve got to admit, that was quite fun.”
Robin’s mouth dropped open, "Did Nancy Wheeler just say she enjoyed stealing an RV?” She turned to Erica, “Pinch me, I’m dreaming.”
She did so, “You’re not dreaming, the world’s just going to shit.”
“Erica!”
“Just the facts!”

Eddie smiled, slipping into the passenger seat as Robin pulled Nancy into a conversation.
“How are you coping?”
“With the car? Pretty well, considering it’s literally a house.”
Eddie huffed a laugh, kicking his feet up on to the dashboard. “It’s weird, but you kinda suit this-” he gestured at the RV around them.
“You know, it’s funny...” he cut himself off, shaking his head. “Nevermind, it’s silly.”
Eddie smiled, poking him gently in the side with his foot, making sure to miss his wounds, “You can’t just tease me with that, come on.”
“I - I always thought that I’d end up having a big family, we’re talking like five or six kids. A full brood of Harringtons.”
Eddie ignored the weight that settled in his gut, forcing a smile, “Oh yeah? Six?”
“Yeah, and I figured that we’d all pack up into something like this and drive around the country, spending time at places like the Grand Canyon, the Rockies... maybe Yellowstone.” He began tapping out the beat of the song on the radio on the steering wheel, looking intently at the empty road ahead, “Maybe we’d end up at the East coast for a week. Learn how to surf.”
“Is that... is that something you did with your family?”
Steve laughed, a short bitter noise. “No, no. My parents aren’t the loving type.”
“Damn man, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Guess it’s made me want to be better. For my kids.”
The weight in Eddie’s gut twisted painfully. As if he needed another reason his stupid crush on Steve wouldn’t work.
“I guess I’ve kind of got my wish, as unconventional as it is,” Steve said aloud, eyes darting to look at the kids in the rear view mirror. “Might not be going to the Rockies - or even have all my kids with me - but I’ll take it.”
Eddie laughed affectionately, “Once all this is done, I’m sure we can find a way to make that wish of yours come true. It might not be a brood of Harringtons, but I’d say a survivors trip might be just as good.”
Steve chanced a look away from the road, eyes soft. “You think?”
“Yeah, I’m sure that’s something we can work out. Other kids included.”

Steve lit up at the mention of this, and Eddie had to physically hold himself back from placing a kiss to the smile lines around his eyes.
“Oh, Eds you’d love them. You know Mike already, but El and Will are just the sweetest kids you’ll ever meet. El was the girl with superpowers, a complete badass - oh and Will? You’d love Will. He’s Johnathon’s younger brother and he loves that nerdy game you guys play -”
“D&D?”
“Yeah, he used to host a lot of those games for the kids."
“A fellow DM, he sounds cool already.”
Steve nodded, the smile never having left his face.
“You really care about these kids.” It was a statement, without judgement.
“Yeah,” Steve said softly, “I do.”

The two of them settled into a comfortable silence, the soft music of the radio filling the space between them. After a while had passed, Steve turned to him.
“Have we... had that conversation before?”
Eddie shifted in his seat, “No. If I’m honest I usually don’t build the courage to sit next to you during this trip.”
Steve hummed thoughtfully, “You seem plenty full of courage to me.”
“You live out a day enough times, the fear pretty much disappears.” he shrugged, biting the ends of his hair self-consciously, “You shoulda seen me the first few loops. I was a wreck dude.”
“I don’t think anyone can see what we’ve seen and be completely okay with it,” Steve countered, “I think you’d actually be more insane if you were calm.”
Before Eddie could answer, Robin was leaning in between them and pointing through the windscreen, “Straight ahead.”
Steve let out a low whistle, “It’s busy.”
"Just get in and out of there as fast as you can,” Eddie said, patting Steve on the back as he left, “You’ll be fine!”
“And no one thinks it’s weird I’m walking in with blood and bandages?”
Robin made a face, patting Steve’s shoulder sympathetically, “Maybe steal some clothes while we’re in there.”

As the majority of the group piled out of the RV, Eddie moved to sit at the table, Lucas and Dustin joining him.
“Are they okay in there?” Lucas asked, leg bouncing with anxiety.
“Who them? They make it out without incident - Jason is in there but Nancy stands up to him, or so I’m told.”
Lucas simply nodded, bringing his knees to his chest.
“So you haven’t really said...” Dustin shuffled closer to Eddie, “How often do you get to this point?”
“Pretty much all the time,” Eddie shrugged, “I’ve been through some rough patches, drowned a few times. Oh! I’ve also been shot before - not cool.”
“Shot?”
“Yeah, no biggie.”
Lucas looked at him with a straight face, “Dude, being shot is a big deal.”
“Yeah - you know I’d be more inclined to find it a big deal if I didn’t immediately come back to life. If I found everything that killed me a ‘big deal’... well let’s just say I don’t have the emotional energy for that.”
“Shit man.”
“Shit indeed.”
Dustin ran his hands over his face, groaning. “So let me get this straight. You’ve never made it past the second trip to the upside down?”
“That’s what I said, yes.”
“So you don’t know if we actually succeed in what we’re doing?”
“Also right.”
“And the Byers... we never contact them?”
Eddie shook his head, “After this we go straight to a field where we gear up. Nancy saws off a shotgun -”
Lucas’ mouth fell open, “Isn’t that illegal?”
“A felony, yes. Kinda not the point here - what I’m trying to say is we go straight from the middle of nowhere into the upside down. We don’t have time to try the phone again.”
Dustin frowned, “But surely their disappearance off the face of the Earth is related to all this, right?”
He turned to Lucas for support, who shrugged in response, “I’ve already said it feels weird. Joyce would have called us back by now.”
“So, let assume that they’ve been pulled in to something - what if we can get them to Hawkins before we have to fight Vecna?”
“Only one problem there, Henderson.”
“Which is?”
“They’re hours away by plane, and that’s assuming that they can even get last minute tickets. No. There’s got to be another way.”
“Another way to what? You’ve said it yourself, you always die at the same point-”
“That’s not to say that anyone else has to,” Eddie interrupted, biting his guitar pic necklace anxiously, “I’ll - I’ll figure it out.”
“Im not trying to be a dick, Eddie, but you’ve been trying. Nothing’s changed-”
“I know! Okay?” He shocked himself at the volume, the noise reminding him of his father. He immediately lowered his voice, “God, don’t you think I’m aware how many times I’ve failed?”
“i’m sure he didn’t-”
Eddie cut Lucas off, holding his hands up in surrender, “I’m doing my best, okay? I realise that I’ve literally got the fate of Hawkins on my shoulders, and I’m sorry that it isnt up to someone more capable, but goddamnit I am trying!”
A laugh bubbled out of him, Eddie backing out of the mini seating area and sitting on the bench across from them, “There’s only so much I can do.”

The two boys looked almost guilty, Dustin moving to get up just as the Winnebago door slammed open, Steve rushing in.
“We’ve gotta go - your old friends are here.”
Dustin whirled around to face him instead, “Shit! Lets go, lets go!”
“I’m going, I’m going!”
Erica chimed in, “Not fast enough!”
Eddie avoided eye contact for the rest of the trip, willing himself to be calm for what was coming. Dustin had tried to approach him at one point, veering off to sit with Lucas and Max instead. As Nancy recited the plan once more, the gnawing feeling returned to Eddie’s gut.

He had allowed himself to get carried away with the group’s blind optimism, to think that everything was going to be okay. But here he sat, four hours away from his death, more lost than he was before; because not only would he have to start again, he knew he didn’t have it in him to sit through the same conversations, the same battle plan, the same false hope.
He would be truly alone again.

As they arrived at the field, Eddie smiled at Dustin, albeit sadly.
Everyone split up into smaller groups once more, the two of them began hammering nails into dustbin lids - Eddie’s technique refined with practice.
“You know,” Eddie said, breaking the heavy silence, “Your name is like... one letter off from dustbin.”
The kid snorted, “Ass.”
His words seemed to break the suffocating cloud that seemed to surround them, Dustin moving his makeshift work station closer.
“How’s she feeling?” Dustin asked, looking up at Eddie as he lifted the shield into the air.
“Light but durable,” he smiled, thrusting it into the air, “Deadly... but reliable.”

Dustin laughed, and Eddie allowed himself to get lost in the familiarity of the moment, banishing his panic from his mind for now.
“Hear me now,” he growled, putting one foot on top of the box and pointing at Dustin, “There will be no more retreating! No surrender!”
The kid laughed, “Wow, you’re really ready for bat-tle... get it? Bat-tle? B-A-T. Cos... the bats?”
“You know, no matter how many times I hear you make that joke, it doesnt get funnier.”
He threw his hands into the air, “Well of course it won’t! You’ve heard it so many times it’s sucked out the funny! I bet the first time you heard it you were in stitches!”
Eddie made a pained face, Dustin shrieking in outrage the next second. “I’m funny! I have good jokes, okay? Here - uhh... oh! What’s a bat’s favourite holiday?” He grinned at Eddie, not waiting for a response, “Fangs-giving.”
At Eddie’s blank stare, he jumped up and down on the spot a few times, hyping himself up. “Okay, this is a good one: whats the difference between batman and a robber? ... Batman can go into a store without Robin.”
He hadn’t heard that one before, and before he could stop it the left side of his lips were quirking up into a smile. Dustin laughed victoriously, pointing at him. “I knew it! I told you I was funny!”
“You know, for future reference, when you have to tell the other person that you’re funny, that generally means you’re not.”
“Yeah, whatever man, I made you laugh.”
Eddie rolled his eyes, grinning as he moved to tackle Dustin.
“What are you doing?” he yelled, wrestling back. As Eddie pushed him away, Dustin matched his grin, running towards him with a yell, “You son of a bitch!”
As the two grappled, Eddie couldn’t help but feel like this is a big part of what he was fighting for - why he hasn’t just given up - he wanted to have more time with Dustin, outside of the world going to shit. He wanted to take him to gigs and look after him like the brother he always wished he had.
Even as the little bastard screeched, “No wedgies! No wedgies!”, Eddie knew, the same as he did in his very first loop, that he would do anything to keep him safe.
“Never change, Dustin Henderson,” he said, holding the boy by his cheeks, “Promise me?”
“Wasn’t planning on it.”
“Good. Good.” Eddie shook the emotion from his eyes, letting Dustin go and turning towards Lucas, “Hey Sinclairs! How are the spears going?”
At Lucas’ thumbs up, he turned back to Dustin, “Battle practice time.”

The silence in the RV was unsettling, Robin placing a reassuring hand on Eddie’s leg. “We’re getting you out of this.”
“Right, yeah.” He watched as Max, Lucas and Erica got out of the RV, heading into the Creel house.
“They’re gonna be fine.” She reassured him, “Besides, they have a way smaller chance of getting rabies there, so I’d call that a win.”
Eddie laughed in spite of himself, eyes moving to rest on the back of Steve’s head. Nancy was sat in the passenger seat, the two of them looking the picture of suburban fantasy.
If Robin noticed where his attention strayed, she didn’t mention it, moving to sit with Dustin and leaving Eddie in his quiet contemplation.
As ridiculous as it was to have stomach-churning jealousy while literally staring in the face of death, he couldn’t shake off the feeling of inevitability. It seemed almost destined that Eddie would be stuck in this loop forever, to fail over and over again. That King Steve Harrington would always find his way back to Nancy Wheeler's side, leaving Eddie in his irrelevancy forever.
Those thoughts swirled through his mind, distracting him up until Steve pulled into the forest, parking the RV.

“I want to run through the plan one more time.” Nancy said, “Phase one.”
“We meet Erica at the playground.” Robin replied, “She'll signal Max and Lucas when we're ready.”
“Phase Two.”
Steve answered this time, “Max baits Vecna. He'll go after her, which'll put him in his trance.”
“Phase Three?”
“Me and Eddie draw the bats away.”
The metal head ruffled Dustin’s hair approvingly, looking around weirdly as everyone stared at him expectantly. “Oh - right. I leave with Dustin through the gate.”
Nancy nodded. “Four.”
“We head into Vecna's newly bat-free lair, and...” Robin swirled the molotov threateningly, "flambé.”
“You’re going to have to leave through the gate on the road instead - if I’m not distracting the bats away from the trailer park then they’re either going to keep trying to tear it apart, or they’ll be flying right back to the house.”
“We’ve got this,” Steve reassured him, “If we need to use the other gate, we’ll use the other gate.”
“Nobody moves on to the next phase until we've all copied. Nobody deviates from the plan, no matter what. Got it?”
At the chorus of agreement, Steve opened the trailer door.
“Oh and Eddie -” she waited for him to look at her before continuing, “No matter what happens, don’t you dare die before you see if the plan works.”

The run through the trailer park went without fail, and soon he was watching Steve disappear through the gate. Familiar anxiety began to pull at him, but he pushed it away. He couldn’t be distracted.
As Steve looked up at them victoriously, Robin muttered sarcastically under her breath, “Oooh, what does he expect us to do, applaud?”
Eddie snorted, “Nah, I think he’s expecting flowers.”
Everyone piled into the upside down, handing out supplies before leaving the relative safety of the trailer.
“Hey, guys, listen.” Steve said, turning around as he always did, “If things here start to go south, I mean, at all, you get the hell out of here. Draw the attention of the bats, keep ‘em busy for a minute or two, then abort. We’ll take care of Vecna. Don’t try to be cute-” he glanced at Eddie, before focusing back on Dustin, “- or be a hero or something. Okay? You guys are just-”
“Decoys, we know. Don’t worry, you can be the hero Steve.” Dustin then turned to Eddie, as if saying ‘who does this guy think he is’. “Does he give that speech every time?”
“Yep, pretty much.”
“Wow, talk about trust.”
Eddie shrugged, teasingly, “I think it’s cute.”
“Shut up, man.”
Steve turned back to the girls, Eddie finding his feet taking the steps forwards. He did this every time, always backing out before he said what he actually wanted to.
“Hey, Steve-?”
Still, this loop was different than the others, he had already had conversations where he didn’t know every practiced answer and response. So, he threw caution to the wind and opened his mouth to speak.
“Come back to us, okay?”
It was as close to the truth as he could say, especially when Robin was eyeing him as if any second he would break out into a walking pride parade.
Steve seemed to stare into his soul, frowning slightly as he tried to uncover the hidden meaning. Seemingly at a loss, he just nodded, readjusting the strap around his shoulders before walking towards the Creel house.

Him and Dustin watched them go, the kid only turning to him once they were out of the trailer park, “What was that?”
“What was what?”
“That -” Dustin gestured at the air around him, “That intensity!”
Eddie just huffed a laugh, pushing past him and back into the trailer. Dustin followed him in, continuing to talk at him while Eddie took two sheets of metal that lay on the floor and began to hammer them into the ceiling, sealing off the vents.
“Don’t just brush me off! There was something happening there! What was it - Eddie!”
“It was nothing, you little twerp. Come on, we’ve got to get ready so they’re not walking into a trap.”
Dustin narrowed his eyes, “You’re telling me what it is later.”
His chest clenched painfully at his innocent words, “Sure, man. Later. But now? We’ve got some construction to do.”
“So, does this actually hold them off?” Dustin asked, drilling a sheet of metal that they had torn from an old trailer on to the walls.
“Pretty much yeah, though the first few times they got in through the vents -”
“Oh, so that’s why you started wrecking the trailer.”
“Yup. I’m trying to do pretty much everything I can to make sure that those bats can’t follow you -” Dustin whacked him in the arm. “Sorry. Follow us through the gate.”

They fell back into the rhythm of working, Dustin letting out a proud whistle as they stood back to admire their work.
“So?”
“Best we’ve done yet,” he grinned, offering Dustin his hand for a high five.
“Is it time?”
“Oh, yeah Henderson. It’s time.”

Playing his guitar in the upside down was truly an experience and a half.
No matter how many times he had done it, he never got bored of seeing Dustin’s face light up as he played. He had made a promise to himself many many loops ago that if - when he got out of this he would teach Dustin how to play.
“She’s in. Move to phase three,” Robin said, voice crackling through the radio.
“Copy that, initiating phase three.” Dustin replied, placing the radio down on the roof and plugging in the amp.
“Hand the radio over Dustin, we don’t want it to get left up here.” He clipped the radio on to his back pocket, reading his fingers on the strings. “You ready?”
“Let’s get metal, baby!” Dustin yelled, turning the volume all the way up and squatting in place.
As Eddie began plucking the familiar notes, he allowed himself to get fully immersed in the experience, using this moment to get out all his frustrations.
He watched the army of demobats break over the horizon, Dustin gestured a 30 at him. Eddie shook out his shoulders, jumping up and down on the spot slightly as he finished the guitar riff, hyping himself up.

The final note ringing through the air, Eddie dumped the guitar on the ground, grabbing Dustin and lowering him on top of the truck, jumping down after him.
“In the cage!” He yelled, making sure Dustin was safe before following, slamming the fence shut. “The trailer, come on!”
Dustin did as he was told, slamming the door behind Eddie with a huff. “Dude! Most. Metal. EVER!”
They both broke into laughter, adrenaline still pumping through their veins. As it wore off, Eddie started to corral Dustin towards the gate.
“No, you first.” He said, planting his feet on the ground, “I’m not letting you back out last minute.”
Eddie rolled his eyes, fighting against his common sense as he began to climb up the makeshift rope. “You follow right after me or I swear to god Dustin I will end you.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
As soon as Eddie landed, he cleared the way for Dustin, the kid making true to his word and landing on the mattress seconds later.
“We’re in uncharted territory now.” Eddie said, heart thumping out of his chest.
He had made it out.

Dustin grabbed the walkie talkie off of Eddie’s back pocket, pressing down the button and speaking, “Erica? Do you copy?”
Static was their only reply.
“Shit.”
“Shit.”
“Quick, help me with this and then we’ll - shit -” Eddie dragged the metal sheet he had put aside to directly under the gate, bringing over a chair to climb on, “we can take the RV. Get to the Creel house.”
Dustin hurried over to get the power tools, handing Eddie the drill. “Is this really necessary?”
“Those bats don’t give up ‘til they get into the trailer. Do you really want them spilling out into Hawkins?”
Dustin swore under his breath, pacing back and forth as Eddie drilled the metal sheet into place. “This might not hold them forever, but hopefully it’ll be long enough.”
He all but pulled him down from the chair, urging him to run towards the forest. “Come on - if Erica isn’t answering then somethings really really wrong.”
Eddie agreed, biting his lip as he started up the RV, “Get ready for a bumpy ride!”
“Just go!”

By the time Eddie approached the Creel house, he had fully bitten through his lip, mouth filling with the taste of metal. Just as he was coming to a stop, he spotted Erica running into the house.
“Fuck!"
The two of them followed her, doing their best to keep up.
“Should’a parked - closer” Dustin huffed, slamming the front door open.
Erica rushed past them, tearfully shouting something about a phone.
Eddie pushed on, running even faster towards the staircase, following Dustin as he made a beeline for the attic.
“Erica, help!”

They broke into the room as Lucas shook Max’s body, repeating her name over and over again. It didn’t take long to add up what had happened - the broken walkman on the floor, a discarded gun and Jason, beaten up on the floor.
“Max, stay with me - Max! No, no, no, no.”
Dustin ran over to Lucas’ side, hands hovering by him, unsure of what to do, “Max?”
An anguish sob ripped through Lucas as Max’s eyes turned blank, Dustin pulling him into his arms, rocking them back and forth. The sobs echoed through the room, Eddie staring at the scene in shock.
The clock began to chime, Eddie approaching the kids, “We’ve gotta move.”
“Max -”
A cough from across the room caught Eddie’s attention, Jason looking at him with a hate-filled glare, “You.”
Before he could say anything else, the floor began to open, tentacles ripping the earth apart. Dustin and Lucas sprang to their feet, dragging Max’s body away from it, Eddie swooping in to help move her feet.
As the crack continued to spread, he covered the three of them with his body, only looking over his shoulder to make sure Jason wouldn’t try to use that moment to hit out at him.
He felt nothing as he looked at Jason’s decimated body.

Once what he could only describe as the opening of hell had seemed to come to a stop, Eddie sat back.
Lucas had not let go of Max’s body, though his whole face lit up with panic as he realised Erica wasn’t with them. “My sister -”
“Was on her way out of the house as we came in. We’ve got to assume that she’s safe until we can get out of here.” Eddie said, tugging his hair as he tired to ground himself. “The walkie! She should still have her walkie-”
Dustin handed it over to Lucas silently, face frozen in shock. He couldn’t seem to drag his eyes away from Max’s unmoving face.
“E-Erica? Erica answer me!”
“I’m oka- almost at - a phone -”
Lucas let out a relieved sob, Dustin tightening his grip on his shoulder.
Eddie gently took the walkie out from Lucas’ hand, “Stay by the phone when you get there. We’ll try to get out of the house and come to you.”
“Okay, I’ll be at the payphone left of the house.”
“Roger th-”
His words were cut off, the walkie dropping from his hand in shock.
“M- Max?” Lucas’ hand gently touched her cheek, almost scared to touch her, “Max?”
She was breathing.

“Help her on to my back.” Eddie demanded, squatting down, “I’ll carry her out. If we can get her to your sister then she has a chance.”
Dustin finally looked away from Max. “Eddie... if they see you.”
“I’m dead, I know.”
“You - you can’t die yet.” Lucas said, voice thick with emotion, “You need to find a way to stop this.”
Eddie grunted as Max’s limp body was placed on his back, “I’ll drive off in the RV - keep the walkie on me if you need to tell me anything.”
“You can go to Hopper’s old cabin” Dustin suggested, “Park the RV outside of it - no one knows it’s there.”
“Let’s just worry about Max first.”

As the three of them made their way out of the house, avoiding the red pulsing cracks that almost completely took out the stairs, Eddie let his mind race with possibilities.
He began walking to the RV, Lucas and Dustin catching on and rushing ahead to open the door, making sure the backseat was clear so that they could lay Max safely across it.
“I’ll drop you off with Erica and then go to the place you told me -”
“Take the back roads,” Dustin demanded, “Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”
Lucas grabbed him by the shirt, tears still steadily falling from his eyes, “Find a way to save her. She can’t - she needs to - just -” He broke into a sob, “She can’t die, Eddie. Please.”
His grip weakened, Dustin came to ease Lucas off of him, hugging him from the back.
“I’m not going anywhere until I know how to save Max. That’s a promise.”

Ambulance sirens approached the kids as Eddie pulled away, dipping into the side roads. The urge to reset the loop hit him full force, only held off by the walkie that sit in the passenger seat, still scarily quiet.
It only sprung to life ten minutes later, just as he was pulling up into the clearing.

“Eddie? Eddie do you copy?”
He almost dove across the RV to grab the walkie, pressing his forehead to the plastic before answering, tears settling in his eyes. “Steve?”
“Yeah, we made it out.”
“The bats?”
“Circled around, like you said they would. It took us longer to get out than we’d hoped but none of us are too worse for wear-”
His voice cut off, replaced with a frantic Nancy, “Max. Is she dead?”
“No, close but no. They should be on their way to the hospital right now.”
“How? What happened?”
“Jason jumped Lucas at the house - I have no clue how he knew they were there. The walkman got crushed in the fight.”
“Shit.”
Eddie nodded, hugging his knees to his chest as he bit his fist, trying his best not to start ripping his hair out, “You were right, Wheeler. Those visions? He was showing you everything that was gonna happen. He’s ripped Hawkins wide open.”
“Then we need to find a way to stop him - where are you right now?”
“Uh - a broken old cabin? Dustin said something about it being Hopper’s?”
“I know where that is - we’ll be there in 30. Over and out.”
Eddie placed the walkie down, leaning back against the wall and staring at the drop of blood that stained the cushion.
He didn’t know what to do with this. The knowledge of the upside down was enough to cope with on his own, but this? How was he supposed to look them all at skull rock, fresh-faced and hopeful, and tell them that the whole town was going to be ripped apart?
He couldn’t. He couldn’t do this again.
As the panic began to rise within him, he finally allowed his tears to fall.
He was stupid for letting it get this far. He had somehow convinced himself that this would be the last time he’d ever have to go to the upside down, to stare death in the face and say ‘fuck you’.
He had actually made progress with Steve, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he was breathing the clear night air in Hawkins without the impending threat of fighting demobats hanging over him.
Yet, still, it was all for nothing.
Max was fighting for her life, Hawkins had been torn apart, and everything they had fought so hard for was for nought - Vecna still lived.
He would still end up alone, and he was no closer to figuring out how to stop the shitstorm that Vecna caused.

He winced as he re-opened the cut on his lip, wiping his eyes dry as the trailer door swung open.
“Look, my mum’s going to be going insane so I can’t stay long,” Nancy said, stepping into the trailer.
“Mine too,” Robin said, picking at her nails, “We just wanted to make sure that you’re okay.”
Steve was the last to enter, concern painting his face as he took in Eddie’s appearance. “Your lip-” Eddie felt his face heat up as his finger brushed his lip, the man seeming to realise what he was doing and whipping his hand away.
“I know you might be wanting to reset the loop,” Nancy said, stepping in front of him, “But I need you to hold out for just a few days. We need to see if we can get in contact with the Byers - if they know something it might be essential to us beating this thing next time.” Eddie grimaced. “Please. Just wait.”
Robin leaned over Nancy’s shoulder, “At least you didn’t die horrifically.”
“Rob -”
“What? It was a compliment.”
He laughed weakly, shaking his head. “I’ll wait.”
Nancy squeezed his arms, “Thank you.”
He just nodded, feeling helpless to do anything else. “Well, I guess you’ll all be leaving then. I’ll just... I’ll just stay here.”
“Keep the walkie on, okay? You need anything, use it.”
He had no intention of doing that. “Sure.”
Steve frowned, moving to follow the girls out, but hesitating by the door. “Maybe I should stay with you tonight.”
“Don’t you have to get back? Won’t your parents-?”
“They’re out of state. They won’t call anyway... it’s not their style.”
Robin looked between the two of them, slowly beginning to smile, “That’s a great idea Steve!” she said, elbowing Nancy. Eddie just glared at her.
“Ow - right. Yeah, that’s... very kind of you.”

Before the two of them could say anything, Robin had grabbed a hold of Nancy’s arm and began to drag her away from the trailer.
“Well. That was weird.” Steve shrugged, closing the RV door and leaning against the wall.
“Robin’s a weird person.” Eddie nodded, “A good weird though.”
“Yeah - she means well.”
The air seemed to settle around them awkwardly, both of them not quite sure what to say. Eddie’s eyes strayed to the kitchenette, “You know... unless they got to it before we could steal their trailer... I sold the owners a good joint.”
“...Weed? Really?”
“Unless I’ve remembered wrong, you enjoyed taking the occasional trip.” He said, walking over to the cupboard and pulling out the tin marked as ‘coffee grounds’, tipping it upside down and catching the joint and lighter in his hand. He scanned the rest of the cupboard while he did so, registering the bottle of vodka stashed on the top shelf.
Steve laughed then, raising his hands in surrender, “I never said I didn’t, just... is it really the best time to take it? Won’t it make us paranoid or some shit?”
Eddie shrugged, “This is a pretty small joint, not too much THC either so it should be pretty chill. We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
He pushed off the wall, moving to sit around the table, “If you’re sure you’re alright, then yeah.”
Eddie grinned, sitting opposite Steve and lighting the joint, offering him the first drag. He watched as he inhaled it, pursing his lips as he exhaled. Even such a simple motion was enchanting, Eddie having to literally shake himself out of it as Steve handed the joint back.

“Is Dustin okay?”
Eddie sighed, massaging his temple with his free hand, taking a long drag. “I think so? He’s seen some shit today... I’ll be glad when he doesn’t have to remember any of it.”
A sad hum made him look up, Steve looking unsure what to say.
“It must be hard... to remember everything when everyone around you forgets.”
Eddie huffed, tension building in the back of his throat as he willed his tears to stay down. “It’s like I’m alone, even when I’m around people.” He eventually said, looking out of the window to avoid Steve’s sympathetic eyes. “I - I feel like every single one of you is my friend, and then the loop resets and I’m just... that guy who’s being hunted for murder.”
A hesitant hand settled over his, the simple gesture making Eddie’s heart flutter.
“I’m sorry.”
That made him turn around. “Sorry? Why would you be sorry? You can’t control it.”
“I know that, but...” he paused, taking another drag and passing it back to Eddie, exhaling the smoke as he spoke, “It can’t have been easy.”
Eddie’s eyes flickered to their hands, “No. No it hasn’t.”
As he took another hit, Steve squeezed his hand slightly, “But hey, you made it out. Furthest you’ve got so far!”
“Out to what? Hawkins on fire and Max in the hospital?”
“Okay, so it’s not the best outcome, but at least you dodged death.”
Eddie snorted a laugh “I’ve delayed it by a few days, but yeah. I’m glad not to have been ripped apart today.”
The tense atmosphere lifted slightly, Steve laughing.
“This is all fucked, isn’t it?”
Eddie began laughing too, nodding. “It’s all just fucked, man.”
Laughter turned into giggles, the spliff being passed between them until it was pretty much burned to a snub. At some point, Eddie had turned his hand around, fingers intertwining with Steve’s as if on instinct. Their hands stayed in the middle of the table, the younger man absentmindedly fiddling with Eddie’s silver rings.
Steve didn’t realise how much the little action was driving him crazy.

They had settled into a comfortable silence, the clinking of the rings being the only disruption. Such a level of calm was something that Eddie wasn’t accustomed to, and he could feel the tiredness sweeping over him. As if reading his mind, Steve yawned.
“I’m beat. Is there anywhere to sleep in this thing?”
Eddie laughed affectionately, “They lived in here, so yeah.”
Steve didn’t let go of his hand, so Eddie leaned back smiling, waiting to see how long it would take for him to realise.
He used this time to analyse his face - the way his lashes contrasted against his skin, the small smile that pulled at his lips as he fiddled with his rings, his hazel eyes that were slightly rimmed with red.
The dark ring around his neck had begun to bruise, turning a deep purple. He thought that hickeys would be a better way to mark his skin.
“So? Is there - oh.” Steve released Eddie’s hands, blushing, “Sorry.”
“No worries, babygirl.”
The blush intensified, “Why do you call me that?”
“What, babygirl?” Steve nodded. “Because it makes you blush.”
Steve covered his face, “No it doesn’t.”
Eddie just laughed, shaking his head, “Sure it doesn’t.”
He moved out from the table, moving to the seats at the back of the RV, lifting up two of the pillows and pulling out the sofa bed, bowing theatrically, “For you, my good sir: a bed.”
Steve snorted, “Why thank you.” He went to shuck his shoes off, pausing. “I’m dirty.”
“What?”
“Oh - sorry I thought I said the rest of that... was in my head.” He took a deep breath, gesturing to his torso, “I need to wash or I’ll mess up the bed.”
“Lucky for you, Dustin told me there was a lake nearby.” Eddie grinned, “So, what do you say, King Harrington? Shall we take an early morning stroll to the lake?”
Steve huffed a laugh, “Let’s just hope it hasn’t been swallowed up by the evil cracks in the earth.”
Eddie nodded, “That would be royally fucked - might make a good jacuzzi though.”

He ushered Steve to the door, the weed seeming to hit the jock harder than he had expected. Eddie held back a laugh as he watched Steve stumble over himself, reaching out to steady him by holding him gently by the hips, helping correct his course.
“‘S been a while since I smoked,” Steve said suddenly, jumping out of the RV with a little flourish, “I haven’t... needed it as much. Recently.”
“Oh?”
“Before - before I dated Nancy, I had friends. Lots of friends - but they weren’t friends, y’know? They wanted... King Steve. Not me.” He kicked the dirt, “She made me realise that... was the first one to see me for me. When she left... now I’ve got Robin, and she makes the emptiness feel less suffocating.”
“Emptiness?”
“Loneliness, I guess. It’s like - my house right? It’s big. Yeah, I used to host parties there, and that made them full, but it still felt like I was alone. When Robin comes over... she sees me. It feels more full with her there than it ever did with those people.”
“The two of you are close -”
“And Platonic, with a capital P!”
Eddie laughed, reaching out to move Steve away from a stray branch. “Okay?”
“She’s my best friend... and sure I would’ve dated her if she wasn’t a le-” he cut himself off, eyes widening as his brain caught up with his mouth. “A - a loser! I meant loser!”
Eddie filed that information away for later, feeling a massive amount of relief that Robin wouldn’t be likely to out him any time soon. “Wow, calling your best friend a loser, that’s not very nice of you Harrington.”
He shrugged, “Well it’s true. Though I guess I’m a loser now too, so it’s fine.”
“I don’t think you’re a loser.”
Steve looked at Eddie, eyes flickering to his lips just long enough for the other man to register it, before moving to something behind him. “Lake!”

Before Eddie could fully register what was happening, Steve was shrugging off his clothes, making a beeline for the water. He laughed, following suit, jumping in next to Steve.
The two of them spent a few moments simply enjoying the feeling of the water, before Eddie turned to the other man, mischief in his eyes. He wound his arm back, propelling a mini wave in Steve’s direction.
“Hey!” He began laughing as if it was the funniest thing in the world, running away from Steve as best he could. “You’re so going to regret that Munson!”
They waded into the shallower water, splashing each other as they went.
“This is not what I thought I’d be doing with my night,” Eddie confessed, wiping the wet hair out of his face.
“Neither... ow fuck.” Steve winced, taking off the sodden bandages and throwing them on to the bank.
Eddie began to step closer, bending slightly, “Can I...?”
Steve just nodded, resting his forearms on top of his head to give Eddie a better view. The bites were deep, though most were scabbed over there were a few still slowly oozing blood, most likely reopened during their trip to the upside down that night.
“When we get back to the RV I’ll clean and redress it properly,” Eddie said, giving in to his urges and letting his finger reach out and trace around the wounds, “I’m sure there’ll be a basic medkit in there.”

He jumped slightly at a touch on the back of his arm, standing up straight.
“I haven’t had a good view of these before,” Steve explained, fingers tracing the Wyvern that decorated the backside of his forearm. “They’re cool.”
“Thanks,” Eddie smiled, “I’ve got 6 of them.” He gently grasped Steve’s wrist, moving his hand so it rested on his right collarbone, just over his spider tattoo, “This was my first one.”
His breath stuttered in his chest as Steve traced the shapes, moving on to the demon right under it. As he moved to the bats, Steve laughed. “Bit ironic.”
“Trust me, I’m aware.”
“It’s probably my favourite though.”
“Really, why?”
“I dunno. Just nice.”
“Wow, thank you for that amazing explanation.” Eddie drawled, laughing as Steve shoved him. “Do you ever think of getting any?”
“Tattoos?”
“What else?”
“Uh - Yeah, I’ve thought about it - I’m not sure what I’d get though.”
“Anything. Whatever you want.” Eddie grinned, “That’s the beauty of tattoos, no one can tell you what not to get.”
“Have you done any yourself?”
“Stick n pokes?”
“Yeah.”
Eddie nodded, “Only one,” he said, showing his wrist, “It’s a D20″
Steve smiled, grasping his hand gently and turning it so he could see the tattoo more clearly, “Dustin has those - its for D&D, right?”
“Sure is.”
“Do you think you could do one for me?” Steve asked, eyes shining in the sunrise.
“Sure,” he smiled, ignoring the returning gnawing feeling in his gut, warning him not to fall too deep, “I’d love to.”
“When this is all over?”
It felt like a promise, an oath made under the rising sun - that this conversation would be had again without the fear of forgetting. Eddie smiled.
“When this is all over.”

By the time they got back to the RV, the sun had fully risen.
“Let me redo your bandages and then we can crash for a few hours,” Eddie said, fighting a yawn. Steve simply nodded, perching on the edge of a chair, eyeing the bottle of vodka.
“Is that to drink?"
“I was going to use it to sanitise your cuts, but a little liquid courage couldn’t hurt.” Eddie shrugged, handing him the bottle before continuing to dig through the cupboard, emerging a few minutes later with a victorious shout. “Bandages!”
Steve took a few sips of vodka, handing the bottle back to Eddie with a wince, “Let’s just get this over with.”
Eddie downed a few gulps himself, before gently pouring the vodka over Steve’s torso, wincing sympathetically as his muscles tightened in response. Allowing it to air dry for a few moments, he opened the fresh pack of bandages, unwinding it slightly before kneeling in front of Steve.
He took a few moments to allow his eyes to run over every scar and cut that decorated his skin, seeing a few lighter scars scattered among the fresh ones. He filed that information away for later, clearing his throat.
“Tell me if it’s too tight.”
Steve just nodded silently as Eddie began to re-wrap his wounds, thumbs brushing his side with each loop. Once he was satisfied, he leaned in to bite the bandage, ripping the extra off and putting it aside.
“You can breathe now” he teased, watching as Steve released the breath he had been holding.
“You’re shaping up to be a proper nurse.” Steve breathed, having not quite caught his breath, “Should buy you a uniform.”
Eddie laughed at that, getting up from the floor and placing his hand on the side of the chair, leaning over the other man slightly. As Steve looked up into his eyes, Eddie smirked, “Just say you want to see me in a sexy nurse’s costume, Harrington.”
Steve huffed a laugh. “Oh, so it’s like that now?”
“Yeah, I guess it is.” he replied, grinning as he stood up straight, retreating to the bed at the back of the RV, “There’s got to be some spare clothes somewhere...”

He could feel Steve’s eyes on his back as he rooted through the drawers.
“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in anything other than black skinny jeans.”
“Didn’t know you took much notice of my fashion choices, Harrington.” he replied, fishing out two baggy pairs of trousers.
“You were pretty hard not to notice.”
“Because I’m a freak?” he asked, words coming out lightly.
“Wha - no. No, you were just...” Steve scrambled to find the right words, catching the trousers as they were thrown at him, “Loud.”
Eddie laughed at that, slipping on the trousers before continuing to search for tops, “I guess that’s true.”
"I hated that - how you could take up so much space and just be... unashamedly yourself."
"So you hated me - no news there." Eddie huffed, ignoring the small pinch of pain that went through him at the confession.
"No - no! I didn't hate you. I just - I spent all of my time being who other people wanted me to be... and there you were, just being yourself and not giving a shit if people hated you for it."
"You gotta give yourself more props, Harrington." He took a moment to face Steve, wanting him to see the sincerity on his face, "From what I've heard, you've been protecting those kids since you were just a kid yourself. Who gives a fuck if the people of this town like you or not - you may have pretty shitty parents, but you do have a family that loves you."
"I do?"
Eddie nodded, offering him a small smile. "Family is more than blood. You have the kids, you have Robin, and Nancy..."
"And now you." Steve cocked his head to the side, as if challeneging Eddie to disagree.

Silence fell over them once more, along with the tension of things unsaid.
It was broken with Eddie throwing a floral crop top at Steve’s head, “For your modesty.”
“You’re kidding,” he deadpanned, holding up the top, “This is the only thing?”
“Well, there’s one more you could try,” Eddie snorted, holding up a dress, “Might not be a sexy nurse outfit, but I bet you could still rock it.”
Steve frowned slightly, pointing at the blue flannel shirt by Eddie’s foot, “Why can’t I wear that one?”
Eddie simply answered by shoving it over his head, shrugging. Rolling his eyes, Steve slipped the top on, glaring as the other man laughed.
“What?” Eddie asked, batting his eyelashes, “I think you look hot.”
His glaring quickly turned to a glower, “Shut it.”
Eddie raised his hands in surrender, though he couldn’t hide the smile on his face, “Okay, okay. Now are we gonna get some sleep or not?”
“Gonna spoon me, Munson?”
“In your dreams, cupcake."
Steve chortled, “That’s somehow worse than babygirl.”
Eddie grinned evilly in response, flopping on to the bed with an ‘oomf’ and patting the empty space. “Get your tight little ass in here, Stevie. I don’t know how much sleep we’ll be allowed to have.”
“Allowed?” he asked, burrowing under the blanket and looking at Eddie expectantly.
“Do you really think the girls will just leave us alone?” he replied, “They’re probably scared that I’ll do something stupid.”
“Not with me here, you wont.”
Eddie let out a breathy laugh, adjusting to a comfortable position, arms folded behind his head, “I guess I won’t.”

He was awoken a few hours later, eyes squinting against the sunlight that poured into the RV.
At some point during their sleep, Steve must have shifted, his head now lying on top of Eddie’s chest. The ends of his hair were still slightly damp, curling up slightly at the bottom.
Eddie reached out to play with it, gently twisting the strands around his finger. As he did this, he took their position into account, smiling to himself as he registered the jock’s arm thrown across his torso, left leg entwined with his.
Steve Harrington slept like an octopus.

He held back his laughter, so as not to wake him, instead letting himself enjoy the closeness of their bodies. Some deep part of Eddie was deeply touch-starved, the endless loops giving him limited opportunity for soft touch.
He managed to get a hug every now and then - Dustin would tackle him with a hug on certain loops when it was just too hard to keep pretending to be okay; Lucas, on the rare occasion he was away from Max for long enough, would give him a consoling ‘bro’ hug.
Robin, weirdly, was the one that seemed unafraid of casual touches. Almost every loop she would pat him on the shoulder or back, the small touches helping tide Eddie over.
But Steve - god, Steve.
His touch was dangerous. The more Eddie was given, the more he craved. The man himself was like nicotine, and Eddie was the sucker that got hooked.

There was one loop back in the early days where Steve had pulled him in for a hug. Perhaps it was the look of desperation on his face, or maybe it was genuine concern borne from watching him get suspended in the air by a demobat, but Steve had pulled him into his chest and held him.
Seeing his face the next time the loop reset, unaware of the scary vulnerability of that moment, killed him.
As much as he knew allowing himself to get this close to Steve - who was definitely a straight man, who was he kidding? - would hurt worse than any time before, he couldn’t seem to pull away.
He had accepted his fate, to be hopelessly in love with a man who only met him for a few days at a time, before time ripped him away. It was the kind of pain that settled just under his ribcage, constant and aching - a reminder that despite everything, he was still here.
Pushing away those thoughts for now, Eddie tasked himself with memorising every groove of Steve’s sleeping face; to remember every freckle, every scrape.
He could’ve happily have laid like that forever, but the crackling of the radio coming to life ruined the quiet serenity of the morning, Dustin’s voice filtering through the static.

“Eddie. Steve. Do you copy? Over.”
Steve groaned, burying his head further into Eddie’s chest. The feel of warm cotton underneath his face seemed to register in the next few moments, the man scrambling off of Eddie with a rushed apology.
The metalhead simply laughed, sitting up to grab the walkie.
“Yes, little shrimp, we copy.” He continued holding the button, turning it so the speaker faced Steve.
“Yeah, man. We’re here.” At Eddie’s look, he continued, “Oh - uh - over.”
“Did you make it to Hopper’s safe? Over.”
“Yep, all good here.” Eddie said, looking at Steve as if asking the question.
“All good.” Steve parroted, eyes flicking to his lips for a split second.
“How’s Max? Is she stable? Over”
“The docs said she was legally dead for over a minute - she’s on machines, but she’s alive” Dustin replied, voice tired, “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you earlier. My mom freaked out when she got here...”
“Hey, don’t apologise for that shit Henderson, do you hear me?” he interrupted, “The whole town broke apart, you needed to be there for your mom. Over.”
He could feel Steve’s eyes on the side of his face as he waited for Dustin to reply, though he didn’t look up, scared that he wouldn’t be able to look away from him.
“I know... Are the two of you okay? Over.”
“Wishing that we’d taken a better stocked RV. You don’t wanna see what we look like right now, man.”
Steve reached over to take the walkie from his hands, “Eddie looks fine - I’ve got the shit end of the deal.” At Eddie’s laughter, Steve shoved him, a smile threatening to ruin his rant, “If anyone’s coming with a goods drop I’d very much appreciate some of my own clothes. Over.”
“Mom doesn’t want to let me out of her sight. I’ll call the Wheeler’s and ask Nancy to bring you some stuff. Over.”
“Okay, you give Mrs Henderson a hug for me, will you? Take care of yourself, we’ll see you soon. Over and out.”
Steve put the walkie down with a sigh, running his hands through his hair. “She’s alive.”

Eddie shook his head, bringing his knees up to his chest and biting on the ends of his hair, “You didn’t see her, man. Her eyes... I held her on my back, and I could feel her joints just - swinging -” He cut himself off, a comforting weight landing on his shoulder. “I don’t know how someone can come back from that.”
“So we find a way to stop it.”
Eddie laughed tearfully, jumping up from his seat on the bed and pacing up and down, “It resets for you. I get that. You didn’t have to see, and you won’t have to see that - ever. But me?” he laughed again, more maniacal this time, and threw his hands in the air, “I’ve seen almost every one of you die. Those are images that will forever be seared into my brain, and when something goes wrong after I’ve tried to change the other bad things? Then it’s my fault.”
“Eddie -”
“I don’t let anyone else be the distraction because I’ll be damned if I have to watch another one of you get ripped apart - I have to let you dive through the gate and watch you get hurt, because if I don’t then someone else dies - there are so many choices that I have to make and none of them leads to a better ending.”
“Eddie -”
“Even when I get out, it’s all for nothing! Vecna’s not dead, Hawkins has cracked open, Max is dying and still I have no idea how to fix any of it!”
“Eddie!” Steve yelled, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him slightly, “It’s okay! You’re okay.”

He broke down into tears then, shaking his head, “No, it’s not okay. I don’t think any of this can ever be okay.”
Steve’s face crumpled, placing his hand on the back of Eddie’s head and gently guiding him into the crook of his neck. He held him as he broke down, murmuring reassurance into his hair.
As Eddie’s sobs turned into quiet tears, Steve spoke, his words carefully measured. “I know there’s nothing I can say to you to make this better - no words could help you cope with all the shit you’ve witnessed - but I think you deserve to hear these: thank you.”
“What?”
“Thank you for not giving up on us. All of these loops... the fact that you’re still fighting to fix everything is amazing.”
Eddie scoffed, pulling his head back and meeting Steve’s eyes, “Not like I have much of a choice.”
“No, man. You do.” As Eddie went to look away, Steve grabbed him by the chin, forcing him to look at him. “I’m serious, Eds. You didn’t have to tell any of us what was going on. You didn’t have to keep trying to fix everything, but you did. You kept trying, and that’s more than most would do.”
“You give me too much credit -”
“No. No I don’t.”
“You do.” He freed his chin, not wanting to see the disappointment in Steve’s eyes. “There were about 20 loops near the beginning where I would just... break into your house and drink all the booze.”
Steve looked at him closely, a small frown on his face as he ran the words over in his head. “Yesterday, before we went into Lovers Lake you were talking to Dustin... You saw him die, didn’t you?”
Eddie’s throat tightened, “Yeah.”
“Wouldn’t let anyone else be the distraction” Steve echoed, frown deepening, “Did he -”
“He wouldn’t go back through the gate.” Eddie explained, throat hoarse, “I tried to - he wouldn’t - said he didn’t want me to be alone”
“The bats... they didn’t get you?” Eddie shook his head. “So you...” He didn’t need to answer, Steve’s face dropping at the words unsaid. “Shit, man.”
Eddie finally looked up, forcing a smile and shrugging, “I wasn’t going to wait around.”
“Have you... did I..?”
“Once. Third loop.”
Steve whistled, fingers absentmindedly touching the bruise around his neck. “You know, that’s a really weird feeling... knowing that I died.”
Eddie huffed, weakly smiling. “Welcome to the club.”
He laughed at that, in a way that no one other than Steve Harrington could, impossibly lifting the heavy atmosphere.
Wiping his face clear of tears, Eddie took a steadying breath. “Right. Let’s see what shitty excuse of a breakfast we can cook up, yeah?”