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“What the actual fuck is this Kazuha?” Kunikuzushi whined, throwing the book to the floor of Tenshukaku, “when I asked for something to read to pass the time, I didn’t want something like this shit.”
“But, Kuni…this is the publishing house’s most popular seller right now!” Kazuha replied.
“So you’re telling me that the entirety of Inazuma is fascinated by a dumbass story about me and you. I know eternity is supposed to be constant change or some shit like that, but every time you bring me a new story they get worse and worse. I didn’t think it was possible to drill through the bedrock of rock bottom that was the story about some random person becoming the electro archon, but here we are.” He rolled his eyes, “You’ve been spending too much time with Yae, haven’t you? I should’ve told her to fuck off and get out of Inazuma when she was born.”
“Well, there aren’t any other sky kitsune in Inazuma, kuni…also the story isn’t specifically about me and you” Kazuha trailed off as his lips curled into a slight smile.
“It’s about the electro archon getting sick and then a kitsune named Kazu taking care of him, who the fuck else is it supposed to be about. Also the writing is absolutely horrendous, how the fuck did Yae green light this? I thought I was the one that should be afraid of erosion.” Kunikuzushi shook his head disapprovingly.
“I think it’s quite entertaining, Kuni,” Kazuha chuckled, “after all the writing people make about you relate somehow to how they see you. You rarely go out in public and when you do, it’s only when we go out together.”
“What are you trying to say, Kazuha? You’re the one that always makes me put up with your stupid shit.” He rolled his eyes, again.
“Well you just don’t have to show this side of yourself to the people, that is of course if you don’t want to go out anymore…I was planning for us to go see Beidou and try some Liyuean desserts with her, but if you don’t want to then that’s fine too.” Kazuha smirked in Kunikuzushi’s face.
Begrudgingly, Kunikuzushi replied, “I suppose I don’t mind it that much, Kazu, but you’re pushing the limits.”
“I’m afraid you tell me that everytime we talk, dear.”
“And one day you’re really going to test my patience” Kunikuzushi grumbled out
“You get so cute whenever you’re mad…” Kazuha commented amusedly while ruffling the other’s hair playfully, “Like a little angry gremlin. Maybe that’s why people like this novel more than the last one.”
“The fuck are you talking about” Kunikuzushi wrinkled his nose and frowned, but the blush on his cheeks portrayed his true feelings.
“I’m just saying that this paints you in a much gentler light than before. The last novel was all about your power, which generates fear. This one was much lighter. The people see you as more approachable, Kuni, isn’t that a good thing?”
“I don’t act like this though!” The archon whined, “I’m not some needy little brat who can’t feed myself! I don’t even need to eat! For Celestia’s sake, I don’t even get sick!”
“You can’t even cook though, Kuni” Kazuha retorted.
“Ok and?” He rolled his eyes for what felt like the hundredth time in this conversation, “None of the other stuff is realistic. I don’t act like that!”
One of Kazuha’s ears twitched slightly as an idea fired off in his head, “I wouldn’t be so sure of that, Kuni.”
“What was that, Kazu?” Kunikuzushi had very well heard what the other had said. Kazuha had definitely been spending too much time around Yae and it was annoying the hell out of him.
“Oh you don’t have to worry your pretty little head about it.”
With that, Kazuha walked out of Tenshukaku, leaving Kunikuzushi all alone again.
“They say that there’s a minor illness going around Inazuma right now.” Kazuha said as he set some food out on the table for them to eat. Scaramouche was already sitting down on one of the cushions eagerly awaiting the food. “People are reporting chills, fatigue, and loss of taste and smell.”
“And I care because?” Kunikuzushi rudely asked, “If they’re not dying then they’re fine. Even then I’m sure Sanganomiya Kokomi could take care of it.”
“Just wanted to let you know,” Kazuha shrugged, “They are your people after all. Who knows, maybe you might even get sick.”
“We already went over this, Kazu” He would’ve rolled his eyes, but they were too preoccupied with eyeing the scrumptious butter crab that Kazuha had made today. Kazuha made all of Kunikuzushi’s meals and took care of the archon most of the time, even though he wouldn’t admit it.
“You never know,” Kazuha answered as he placed a plate in front of Kunikuzushi, “anyway here you go!”
Instantly, Kunikuzushi picked a piece of juicy butter crab and placed it carefully into his mouth savoring all of the flavors and textures that danced across his palette. Except, none of that happened.
It tasted like nothing, absolutely nothing. It was like eating a pile of gray tasteless mush. Kazuha’s cooking was usually quite exquisite, so something like this was unexpected. He looked over at the other sitting across from him who was happily eating each graceful piece. Kunikuzushi could see the other’s ears twitch in satisfaction. Maybe it had just been that part of his butter crab. Frantically he took a piece from the other end of it that was grilled and juicy.
Except, the same thing happened again. It tasted like gray flavorless mush. Where was the flavor, where was the seasoning, where was the spice?
“Are you ok, Kuni?” Kazuha asked from across the table, eyeing the other suspiciously, “You don’t seem to be eating much.”
As immortal beings they didn’t need to eat, but they both enjoyed the flavors and the experience of dining. That was one of the ‘human things’ that Kunikuzushi liked.
“It just tastes a bit odd, that’s all, Kazu” Kunikuzushi replied. He didn’t want to hurt Kazuha’s feelings by saying the cooking was bad, but it didn’t taste like anything at all. Thankfully, Kazuha didn’t seem offended in the slightest by it.
“Lemme see” Kazuha slid Kunikuzushi’s dish across the table and grabbed a piece for himself to try. After chewing for a few seconds and swallowing, he replied, “seems fine to me, Kuni, what’s wrong with it?”
“It just didn’t really taste like anything, Kazu, I dunno”
“Hmm, how about you try some of mine then?” Kazuha took one of his own crab pieces and fed the other by hand. After a few seconds he asked, “taste anything?”
Kunikuzushi shook his head. They all tasted the same, like nothing.
Kazuha furrowed his eyebrows and reached a hand out to feel the other’s forehead.
Kunikuzushi preemptively moved his head forward slightly thinking that Kazuha meant to reach out to ruffle his hair, but instead was greeted with a cold hand against his forehead. Luckily for him, his embarrassment was partially saved when Kazuha did ruffle his hair afterward too.
“You’re feeling a little warm, Kuni, like you have a fever. Are you feeling ok?” Kazuha worriedly asked.
“I’m fine, Kazu” Kunikuzushi replied, though now that he thought about it his head was starting to hurt a bit, “I think I’m going to go lie down…I have a headache.”
“Ok…” Kazuha hummed, as he continued eating his share of the meal, “Just let me know if you need anything then…I’ll be heading back to the shrine later tonight to help Yae with some things.”
“I told you I’m fine.” Kunikuzushi firmly replied, but the hand that clutched the throbbing ache in his head said otherwise as he hobbled across the room to his own bedroom.
“If you say so…” As soon as Kunikuzushi disappeared from sight, Kazuha’s lips curled up into a sly smile. Maybe Kunikuzushi was right. Maybe he was spending a little too much time with Yae lately. Placebo worked quite well.
Kunikuzushi lay down in his bed, violet sheets wrapped around his body. He felt cold and the pain in his own head only kept increasing with every passing moment. His body felt fatigued, but the pain plaguing his head wouldn’t let him fall asleep. As he shut his eyes again in an attempt to rest, a gentle knock was placed on the door.
“Kuni? Are you ok? Are you sick?” a voice said from the other side.
Oh, it was Kazuha. “I’m fine Kazuha, and I already told you I can’t get sick” Kunikuzushi yelled back, but his throat felt a bit dry as a cough worked its way out at the end.
There was a silence on the other end of the door for a few seconds. Kunikuzushi knew Kazuha didn’t believe him.
“Ok…well I have some matters to attend to at the shrine tonight, so I won’t be back until tomorrow. So if you need anything then ask now, or if you need me to stay then that’s fine too. I can always reschedule the shrine-”
“I am fine, Kazuha” Kunikuzushi cut in, “I don’t need your help, just go.” It came out a bit harsh, but with the headache and the fatigue, Kunikuzushi was already feeling a bit on edge.
“Ok…then, good night Kuni!”
Silence again. Kunikuzushi could hear the faint shuffling of feet and the closing of the main door to Tenshukaku. He tried to close his eyes, and focus on resting, but his head pulsated with each heartbeat as blood rushed to his ears.
It had only been a few minutes and Kunikuzushi was already regretting not asking Kazuha to stay. He knew that he wasn’t able to take care of himself in this sickly state, but of course his pride had to get in the way of asking for help.
If he couldn’t fall asleep and rest, then maybe he could try to do something productive. Tea was supposed to help with colds, or something like that. Kunikuzushi didn’t know. How hard could it be to boil some water?
Slowly he sat up in the bed dizziness filling his vision as the room around him swirled. He was fine. There was nothing wrong besides just being a little tired.
As he got up he could feel his legs shaking and it felt like he was moving across the room while simultaneously staying in the same place. His eyes tried to focus on the door but of course now his tiredness overtook him and he could feel his eyelids sagging with every lengthening blink.
It wasn’t long until black flooded his vision.
Kunikuzushi could feel something cold pressed up against his lips, he tried to make some sort of sound as his head lay in something warm and comforting.
Before he could make as much as a peep, a finger came to shush him, “Shhhh…”
It was Kazuha. “Drink this, Kuni, it’ll make you feel better,” he quietly whispered into the other’s ear, “It’s called a rainbow aster. It has some mint and lavender melon.”
Slowly, Kazuha let the refreshing remedy flow through Kunikuzushi’s lips.
After a long sip, Kazuha asked, “How are you feeling, Kuni?”
“M’better”
A gentle hand passed through the archon’s indigo locks, “that’s good…do you want me to stay with you?”
“Mhm” Kunikuzushi mumbled out.
“You’re much politer than you were earlier,” Kazuha teased.
“M’sorry” Kunikuzushi muttered as he tried leaning more into Kazuha’s comforting warmth.
“How about I forgive you if you ask nicely?” Kazuha suggested slyly.
“Can you stay with me please, Kazu?” Kunikuzushi opened his eyes to look into those of his lover.
“Hmmm…maybe” Kazuha tried to get him to go further.
“Pretty please, Kazu” Kunikuzushi pouted.
Kazuha put a finger to his chin as if thinking it over a bit, but accepted, “Of course, Kuni…now how about you go back to sleep again…”
That was a weird dream.
Kunikuzushi woke up inside the warmth of his own blanket. That was weird; he didn’t remember tucking himself in. Regardless, he was feeling much better. He looked at the table beside his bed and also saw an empty glass. Strange, he didn’t remember bringing something to drink.
Kunikuzushi got up feeling much better and back to normal than he had before. He hadn’t gotten sick. Kazuha was wrong. Speaking of the kitsune though, Kunikuzushi hoped that he was back now.
It was just then that Kazuha gently turned the knob and entered the room.
“Oh! Kuni, you’re awake! How are you feeling?”
“Fine” Kunikuzushi shortly replied, “I told I didn’t get sick.”
Kazuha stifled a little laugh, “Oh do you not remember last night? You lay in my lap and drank out of that little glass” He pointed to the one sitting on the bedside table.
Kunikuzushi opened his eyes wide, looking back and forth between Kazuha and the glass. It hadn’t just been a dream.
“You-” Kunikuzushi's cheeks heated up in embarrassment in rage.
“I what? Hm? You get so cute when you’re confused. ‘Pretty please, Kazu’ that was priceless…” Kazuha teased, he taught the other his much needed lesson and now he could stamp ‘Pretty Please, Kitsune Kazu’ as a true story.