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It was just a button. Gwen kept saying that to herself. It was just a button, no need to be nosy, Owen wore buttons on his coat so why couldn’t Jack? …Because it was strange. He never really was one for accessories (surprisingly). Gwen glanced down at the pin on Jack’s suspenders as he spoke to her. She nodded along but was too caught up in her thoughts as he asked her a question. The Captain stopped speaking, signaling Gwen to answer.
“So? What do you say?”
Gwen fidgeted with the edge of her shirt.
“Oh yes! I say….” She glanced away and tried to remember what he said, she eventually gave up though.
“I- sorry Jack what was it you asked?” Gwen slumped down into her seat a little, embarrassed.
“Nothing,” he said wearily, “are you alright? You’ve been acting kind of strange.”
Gwen glanced to Tosh typing at her computer a few feet away. As Gwen saw that she was too busy to hear their conversation Gwen decided to ask what had been on her mind for all of a week.
“Jack, I don’t want to be nosy but.. what’s with the button?”
It was a medium sized pin, with three stripes. The top stripe was pink, the middle was yellow, and the last was blue. The thing was so simple, yet it enticed her.
Jack looked at her, a strange look on his face. It was a mixture of confusion and surprise.
“Oh! This? It’s just a Pride Pin.”
Jack looked at her like she was supposed to know what that means.
Gwen tapped her fingers on the desk.
“What’s a Pride Pin?”
He smiled at her.
“You know how I don’t just like women? Well, Pride is a celebration for that, for people like me to show off who we are and stuff like that. June is the month chosen to celebrate it, but it’s not just in June that it’s recognized”
Gwen nodded, so it was a gay thing.
“But I thought the rainbow was the thing?”
“Yes, but there are individual flags for different identities. This one is Pansexual, it means that I like people regardless of gender.” Jack pointed to his button as he told her that.
Gwen thought to herself for a moment. She knew about some stuff like that, but she never really had anyone to ask or talk about it. This could very well be her only chance to get any information about different sexualities. So she questioned with a few things on her mind.
“Is that the same thing as liking both women and men?”
“Not exactly, that’s called bisexual. That’s only liking two genders as pan is liking any.”
Gwen definitely liked men. With definitely liking men, she let herself look at women sometimes. Yes, she liked handsome, large, burly men. But… sometimes when a woman was strong, had a nice jawline, and maybe had a large and nice chest Gwen would give her a double-take or glance at her bottom for a little while. But didn’t every woman? Wasn’t it a science thing or something? Gwen had never thought that hard about her sexuality. All she knew was that she loved Rhys very much, and if she didn’t get mad at him for looking at other women’s chest’s because she was looking too, doesn’t mean anything. But then there was Suzie. Goddamn Torchwood, it was the start of all of her problems. As Gwen watched over on the car lot on that faithful day, she wouldn’t deny that she wanted to meet Suzie personally and get to know her. Totally just for friendly reasons though. Not because her hair looked very soft and it framed her tired but pretty face nicely. And it was strange when they revived her awhile later. Gwen, for some reason, really like the idea of her and Suzie running away together. As friends. Yes, as friends.
Gwen always looked up to Jack and how free he was. He did and talked about what he wanted. If only she was as brave as him. Gwen wrung her hands together and looked at Jack’s face. No fear, no annoyance, just a small smile as he wondered what she was thinking. Gwen wondered what she was thinking too. Maybe she did have a strange connection with women. Was she bisexual? Should she talk to Jack about it? Gwen felt as if she had bothered him enough though.
“Thank you, Jack. Sorry for being nosy, what was it you asked me to do?”
~~~~
A day later after work, Gwen sat at her home desk and stared at her computer screen, reading. Rhys napped on their couch. The late evening sky flickered darker as it neared 9:00 pm. Gwen’s eyebrows furrowed together in concentration. She was reading personal posts and stories of people finding out and coming to terms with their queerness. With as many good stories there were, were equally as many bad ones, so she couldn’t predict anything. Gwen was bi. And the first thing she wanted to do was tell Rhys. The thing that made her hesitate was the stories she read. People told of their partners leaving them, thinking that they would be cheated on. Or worse, people telling of their partner hurting them. Rhys had never and would never physically hurt Gwen. But bigotry and hatred can make you do regretful things. But why should she tell him now? Nothing would (should) change if she told him. But it’s part of her identity, she thought. He should know about everything in her identity (except Torchwood (for now)).
Gwen walked to her living room. As she walked she could hear blood rushing through her ears. Her nerves made her hands shake, she gripped the edge of the shirt she wore (an over sized Beetles t-shirt even though she didn’t listen to them). She stared at her boyfriend as he slept. Gwen tapped her feet, trying to gain confidence. She lingered at the foot of the couch.
“Hey-hey, Rhys. Rhys get up.” She said, gently pushed him.
Rhys startled awake, but calmed as he looked at Gwen.
“Yeah? You need somethin’?” He said as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.
“No, I just have something to tell you, is all.”
“Oh god, are you pregnant?”
“What? No! God no!” Gwen giggled, causing Rhys to laugh too.
“No, I-I just…when I tell you this just know that this doesn’t change anything. I’m just telling you because I just figured this out, but…” Gwen’s throat dried, she wrung her hands together.
“I’m…Bisexual. I’m attracted to women and men.”
Rhys’ eyebrows flew up, obviously it wasn’t what he had thought she would say. He opened his mouth to speak but ended up closing it. He did this a few more times, before finally finding what he wanted to say.
“…I support you Gwen. As long as you don’t leave me for some pretty lady, I’m good.”
Gwen let out the breath she was painfully holding in as she grinned. Her shoulders slumped down in relief.
“Yeah no, I’ll stick with you for now.”
Rhys playful pushed her, she pushed back and he ended up tackling her to the couch, kissing her softly. Gwen smiled and laughed as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She was relieved that he understood, and felt as if a weight had been taken off her chest.
~~~~
It had been a few days since Gwen’s sexuality revelation and, like she thought, nothing had changed. Well, maybe one thing had changed. She got a button. It was smaller than Jacks, and the flag was different. Pink, purple, and blue. Gwen rubbed her fingers over its smooth surface as she thought about what would happen if she wore it to work. Nothing should happen, and if something did then Jack would have her back. Gwen was excited to tell Jack about her findings. She gave a toothfull grin as she pinned it to her jacket. She spun around in front of the mirror for fun for a few minutes before setting off.
The first day after Gwen admitting to herself and her boyfriend that she was bi went without difference. It was only on day three that Rhys had stood in front of their bedroom with a large smile on his face and his hands behind his back, showing the first small changes in their dynamic. Gwen grinned questioningly and stood in front of him. She raised an eyebrow and he raised one back.
“Whatcha’ got there big guy?” She asked.
“Just a little present for you.”
“Oh really!” Gwen exclaimed, leaning in for a ‘thank you’ kiss.
Rhys handed her a small box, about the size of a large apple. He led her to their bed as she looked for scissors or a box knife for it. Gwen cut the tape around the box open, and she took out the plastic wrapped contents. Inside was what appeared to be about a dozen tiny bisexual Pride flags. The flags were paper with toothpick like ‘poles’. The other item in the wrapping was the button. Gwen stared down at the items, her glee and surprise fought inside of her.
“Oh Rhys…” she murmured lovingly.
Rhys’ smile some how grew bigger. You could tell he was praising himself a lot on the inside, as he looked down on the gift with pride (pun intended). Gwen pulled him into a large hug and stuck a flag in both of their hair. They laughed together and Rhys kissed Gwen’s cheek.
“Thank you, you dork.” She said, once again, lovingly.
Gwen entered Torchwood, excited but still full of nerves. The pin shone brightly on her chest and she felt as if she shone brightly too. She first greeted Ianto, as he was holding a cup of coffee to her. He glanced down at her button, his eyebrows raising but he tried to keep them down.
“Good morning. Nice button.”
“Mornin’. Thank you.”
She smiled and he squinted (She really did shine bright).
“Are you in a good mood?” Ianto questioned.
“Can’t I be?” Gwen replied.
“Apparently.” He said, jokingly.
They chatted about their week, and he didn’t mention the pin again.
“Hey Gwen, where did you put that- oh! Nice button! Happy Pride!” Jack exclaimed, smirking.
Gwen blushed but held her smile.
“Did you just find that out?” He asked.
“Yes, went through a few hoops but here I am! Loud and proud.”
“If you think that’s loud, you should have seen the pride parade on Pluto in a few hundred years!!” Jack laughed to himself as he reminisced.
Ianto and Gwen exchanged the ‘just another Jack thing’ look to each other.
“But, anyways, I’m glad you found that for you. You should feel good about being your true self out loud.”
The three of them smiled and headed towards their days of work. In the end, it wasn’t just a button. It was them being who they were. They have fun there at Torchwood.