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She’d had a lot to drink; it was a celebration after all – her brother just got married! – and the buzz she felt made her lightheaded to the point of agreeing to join Maura on the makeshift dancefloor without a single protest coming out from her lips when the softest hand pulled her up from the chair she had set tent on.
The doctor-turned-best seller author had been kind enough to let them use the backyard of her family’s beach house in Nantucket for the ceremony and even offered to pay for the food catering services, which Nina had immediately refused.
“It would be my wedding gift for you.”
“Girl, you’re already being kind enough with the venue.”
“But that’s free of cost to me.”
“Lucky you! Besides, you know Ms. Rizz and her food. And Frankie is a mama’s boy, you can’t take that away from her. Be glad we’re taking that hit for you.”
“I don’t think Angela would try to impose the types of food that would be served on my hypothetical wedding.”
“But she would on Jane’s.” Nina smirked, making Maura blush.
“Nina!” she hissed. “I already told you there’s nothing going on between us. And you know I have no reason to lie, so honestly, I would appreciate if-”
“Yeah, yeah, I know, but the blushing and distress is not helping your case.” Nina rebutted, earning a frustrated sound coming from her honey-blonde friend. “Look, just because there’s nothing going on now, doesn’t mean it won’t. Never say never and all that.”
That seemed to end the discussion.
The upbeat music brought out Jane’s silly dancing moves that matched Maura’s impeccably, like non-stop shifting puzzle pieces that always managed to fit perfectly, no matter how impossible it might look.
After a few songs, the slower tempo that took over the dance floor and acted like a magnet to couples of lovers made the silly disappear, giving way to a seducing wave of hips, enticing, calling for Jane’s hands to make their claim and find home in Maura’s motioning curves.
Jane getting out of her haze and not one to make a fool of herself unless it’s on purpose, decided to take a breather by the shore, letting Jordan, Nina’s best friend from Chicago, take over her vacant spot, communicating with Maura by squeezing her deft fingers, avoiding the confused look she left behind.
She found home in a hidden spot – hidden for those who didn’t know where to look – not bothering with getting sand in every surface available in her brand-new dress. The come and go of the waves, the calming sounds of sea water, the smell of wet sand and salty air, the changing colors of the sunset horizon entranced her, the party happening not far from there in second plan, a white noise, almost inexistent.
It didn’t take much longer for her to be involved once again by the familiar scent of expensive French designer perfume, one that she used to smell every summer evening for years, before stubbornly moving states for a job she thought she needed to make her heart beat faster, but knowing it was something – someone – else that would make her feel whole again.
They stood in silence for a while, just looking at life take its natural course, watching the last lights of a sunny afternoon transform into darker hues of blue and a colder breeze, their hearts beating in peace.
A pale, velvety open palm reached for the tan, branded one. Curious, smooth fingertips traced the small line of enduring rough skin (even after all these years), never making them forget the trauma, the fear of never being able to experience this – whatever this may be.
“Jane…”
“Maur…” was the only answer she was given, followed by a flirty giggle.
“Come a little bit closer, hear what I have to say.” Mirthful eyes called.
The lanky woman repositioned herself on the sand, fluctuating towards the heat emanated by her companion, who laced their fingers, locking their connection in place.
“Just like children sleeping, we could dream this night away.” She offered and planted a kiss where the taller woman’s neck met her shoulder, sweet breath hitting her nostrils, making her intoxicated all over again.
“I- I don’t want it to be just a dream.” The brunette whispered, almost afraid of letting her deep feelings take over, afraid of what the unknown might bring.
After another silent moment, Maura tried again “There's a full moon rising, let's go dancing in the light.” Getting up to pull Jane up with her, to bring her back to the party (to her life), to enjoy every breathing moment with her, the feeling they would part soon, once again, bringing a heavy darkness to her chest.
“We know where the music's playing, let's go out and feel the night.” The brunette pulled her partner in the opposite direction, away from the party, looking for a place where there would be just the two of them.
Long legs led the couple to the small one-bedroom guesthouse at the very end of the property, of the beach, where Maura preferred to stay whenever she was in Nantucket, opting for cozy and quiet in lieu of the rambunctious main house, that was serving as accommodation for the newlywed couple and closest family.
As soon as she locked the double doors, she was embraced from behind, moist lips peppering feather kisses over the golden skin of her back, moving her long dark curls out of the way with one hand, while the other roamed freely over her arm, then her abs.
Jane turned around and deeply looked into Maura’s green-hazel eyes, pupils dilated with want. She brought her hands to the sides of the other woman’s face, thumbs caressing her cheeks, her lips. A freefalling sensation hit her, whole body tingling in anticipation for what’s to come, for those sweet, enticing lips melding with her own.
The initial brush of lips, maybe too delicate for what their bodies desired, set the tone. They shouldn’t rush, despite of the awareness of having too little time to do what they ached for. An exploratory pink tongue, moist and curious, paved the way taking advantage of a breath intake, determined to find home in the other woman’s delightful mouth, softly caressing its companion. The heat it found spread all over her, pooling in between her legs, peaking in her chest. The need for more, for the other, for consumption made her moan, dizzy and breathless.
“Maur…”
“Hmmm.” A sigh.
“We should, uh-” Jane tried to clear her throat, her thoughts.
As if sensing, knowing what her best friend was too scared to ask, Maura offered. “Because I'm still in love with you, I want to see you dance again.”
“You know I don’t dance.” The brunette went for humor, her usual chosen weapon against intimacy.
“Don’t be obtuse, you know I don’t mean it literally.” She lightly pulled the brunette’s earlobe, making clear they were finally having that conversation. “I want you to be happy again.” And kissed that same lobe, hands circling her nape, holding her in place.
Jane’s hands that early were so ready to roam, to claim, to possess rested cojoined over the shorter woman’s lower back, bringing their bodies impossibly closer, ensuring she was there to stay, no matter how hard the exchanged words might become.
“But why now?” it’s been months since Paris, since the night that changed everything.
Or not changed, in reality, since they cowardly and unspoken-ly decided not to do anything about it. Until now, apparently.
“Because I'm still in love with you, on this harvest moon.”
They laid awake, hands wandering over each other naked bodies, limbs tangled, hearts sated.
“You know, when we were strangers, I watched you from afar.” Jane shared, remembering with fondness their first interactions, awkward at their best, not understanding back then the pull she felt towards the other woman with so little exchanged.
Maura remained quiet but smiled in return, letting her love openly share whatever she pleased.
“When we were lovers, I loved you with all my heart.”
“Paris?”
“Before.” She offered, knowing that what happened in Paris was just the drop that overflowed the glass. Her feelings had been growing for years, she had been loving way before she was allowed to love. “But now it's getting late, and the moon is climbing high.” Parting ways now will be much more difficult than she anticipated. How was she to return to DC when her heart, her soul, was in capture with the other woman miles away.
“Jane, this is just the beginning.” The unvoiced promise of moving, of closeness, of (re)union took the weight off the brunette’s shoulders, brought the warm happiness in form of human sunshine to lighten her life once again.
“Then I want to celebrate, see it shining in your eye.” The brunette smirked, wiggling her eyebrows, ready to pounce. She stopped last minute, kissed Maura with all that she had, and said back the words previously proffered to her “Because I'm still in love with you, I want to see you dance again, because I'm still in love with you, on this harvest moon.”