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Theo was tentative in his first few steps after Gabe’s hand had gone limp in his grasp. Still reeling from the thrum of borrowed pain under his skin, his heart hammering in his chest as he rolled back onto the balls of his feet, the echo of Mason’s voice ringing in his ears.
You can’t take pain if you don’t care.
Theo had said he had wanted to be in the pack. He had stood there, across from Mason, hands trembling, down in the tunnels with no armour against a monster who could feed off of fear. And said, “Maybe I want to be in the pack.”
Theo wondered if Mason believed him now.
They all met back up with Scott and the rest in the hospital parking lot after Melissa had successfully wrangled them into the elevator, deliberately avoiding the bodies that littered the linoleum floor. There were cheers and handshakes and hugs. Hands slapping against backs. More than one tear-eyed reunion.
Theo hovered on the outskirts. Unsure of what to do with his hands.
There were faces Theo didn’t recognise within the crowd. Names that appeared on the files the Doctors had dropped into his lap on their way back to Beacon Hills. Theo wondered which one of them was Derek Hale. Wondered how many of them had known Allison Argent. Wondered if Isaac Lahey had returned for the final battle.
It seemed the rest of the group who’d been in the hospital were as unsure as Theo was, but still new to the whole supernatural world in a way Theo never could be. Of course, Liam was preening under the attention of Scott, leaning into the arm tossed over his shoulders. But he was tense around the other man with them, shooting a nod of acknowledgement in his direction but making no further move to initiate any sort of reunion.
Theo clung to the lack of familiarity like a lifeline. Hoping it could keep him from dwelling too long on other things. On the hot spike of pain that was still slowly fading from his skin.
Before he had a moment to reflect on the way his forearms burned, Theo was being man-handled into the back of Mason’s Toyota. Scott had thrown out an invitation to celebrate their win that was mostly a half-hearted excuse for everyone to have some hot food and a good night’s sleep. Theo followed along with the crowd.
And that crowd just so happened to be Mason, Corey and a very pushy Liam.
-
Unfortunately, the ride to the McCalls’ was a lot louder than Theo had anticipated.
He’d been shoved into the backseat, wedged in-between Corey and the door, knees knocking against the back of the passenger seat where Liam sat. To the left of Corey was an overnight bag stuffed with clothes the Sheriff had swiped from the station before meeting everyone in the parking lot. It was a good move. Theo wasn’t sure how long the others could stew in their blood stained clothes. He could almost feel Liam getting restless.
Across the front console, Liam and Mason were making easy conversation, Liam’s feet propped up onto the dash in a way that would make Theo want to bash his kneecaps in if he ever tried it in the truck. The smiles that stretched across both their faces were wide but exhausted, expressions packed full of relief as the mindless chatter continued, almost becoming white noise to Theo as he cast his gaze out through the window.
Corey’s shoulder knocked into Theo’s as he shifted in his seat, leaning forward to join into the conversation. No one was really paying any attention to Theo’s silent presence in the back.
The streets and houses of Beacon hills all blended together until they eventually came to a stop to the McCalls’ street, parking a few houses down to leave room for Stiles’ jeep and whatever other vehicles they’d been dragging around with them for the day.
Though Stiles had admirably tried to goad Melissa into making her famous lasagna for everyone once they had arrived to the house, the Sheriff had taken it upon himself to order a mountain of pizza from the place on twelfth, which was remarkably still open, despite the uprising of Civil War within Beacon Hills.
Accepting the slice of pizza that had been dumped into his hands by Scott on his rounds across his living room, Theo stationed himself on the window sill, tucked in between two giant pillows and just removed enough from the group so that he had plausible deniability if anyone ever noted his presence in their post-battle ritual to be out of the ordinary.
They didn’t, though. Which threw Theo more off kilter than he would like to admit. Especially when sleeping arrangements were being made and Theo was considered as someone who was staying, rather than someone who was being sent off into the night. He almost refused the offer, one principle, more than anything else, but the look on Scott’s face left no room for an argument.
So that was how Theo had found himself sitting alone in the McCalls’ kitchen, hands trembling as the adrenaline wore off. Trying to swallow down whatever was clawing at his throat as he heard the murmur of voices above his head, the others all having fractured into their own groups and spread out across the entire house. Whether it be in the bedrooms, the living room or down in the basement.
It was not as if Theo had any right to be jealous or even annoyed that everyone had disappeared off into their own corners. He’d literally thrusted his hand through Scott’s abdomen not even two years prior to this whole Monroe fiasco. And he had really only just been ripped up from his eternal punishment by a trigger-happy, eager to please beta werewolf who wanted to lend a hand in an inter-universe, ghost-cowboy, World War Two inspired battle that no one had any idea how to win. So really, not much time had passed since Theo was last left loose in the town of Beacon Hills.
Theo also wasn’t exactly that forthcoming once released back into the general public with nothing but a general warning of ‘don’t do it again.’ Sure, he was available if they were in dire need of assistance. But tracking him down was a task in itself; and until he showed up at the Sheriff’s station with two betas from Satomi’s pack, no one had thought to ask for his new phone number.
Besides, Theo wasn’t under the illusion he had somehow become the poster-child for emotional stability and support in the minutes it had taken him to walk out the hospital doors. Why would anyone even attempt to strike up a conversation with him if they were searching for empathy?
Except , Theo supposed, Gabe changed things. He saw this kid, knocked down off his perch by the people he trusted, so devoted to a cause that he was willing to bleed out on the floor of a hospital hallway with no one to mourn him. So aware of the bridges he had burned. And yet, looking so young as his breathing turned laboured and his eyes grew wide with fear.
Theo recognised that image. And somehow, despite trying with all his might to relieve Mason of every ounce of pain in the tunnels, Theo had managed to show Gabe a sliver of mercy in his last few moments. Had stripped away the suffering. Had saved him from suffering a fate Theo was all too familiar with.
Theo’s stomach flipped at the thought.
So, despite popular belief– and herculean effort on Theo’s part– he wasn’t a lost cause. In fact, it seemed he was passing the final exam of his twelve step rehabilitation program with flying colours. But unfortunately, that didn’t mean any of the McCall Pack had to put up with his presence for longer than deemed necessary. Even when told he could stick around.
Theo was used to the loneliness. He’d been alone for most of his life, if you didn’t count the ghosts. And usually, Theo didn’t. Mostly because he wasn’t sure if they even wanted to be around him.
The loneliness wasn’t by choice, obviously. He was the first and only chimera to be a success. Stripped of everything that made him human and rebuilt to be nothing but a pretty face with fangs and mismatched flesh.
There was probably some psychology book out there on the importance of raising a kid to be social and not keep him locked up in a cage in the sewers. Theo could attest to that.
“Oh.”
Theo didn’t move as Liam paused in the doorway. Glancing between him and the stack of pizza boxes on the kitchen counter, very obviously weighing his options. Theo understood the apprehension. Him and Liam had yet to manage to hold a conversation for more than five minutes without it morphing into some sort of argument. Usually because of Theo’s sharp tongue or Liam’s short fuse, and especially after a stressful situation.
So he waited to see what Liam’s next move would be, studying the grain in the table as the silence lay thick on his shoulders.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Liam asked after another beat, finally making his decision. Theo looked up to follow the line of his broad shoulders as he walked across the tiled floor and over to the pizza planted next to the sink.
Theo hadn’t actually eaten that much after the hospital. Polishing off the slice he had been given and just watching as the others ate and chatted, content to sit in his corner and observe. Studying their interactions like he wasn’t the only lab rat in the room.
Theo lifted a shoulder, fingers curling around the edge of the hardwood table. “Didn’t even try.”
They fell into silence again as Liam flipped open the box at the top of the pile, his back to Theo as he raked his eyes over the mismatched pizza. Theo allowed his gaze to linger on the way the white fabric of the borrowed t-shirt stretched across Liam’s back as he leaned forward to pick up his slice.
Then, after Liam had flipped back around, chewing thoughtfully on a bite of pepperoni and pineapple pizza– a crime, in Theo’s not-so-humble opinion, Liam spoke again. “I can’t believe I have to go back to fucking school on Monday.”
That startled a laugh out of Theo. Not prepared for the bluntness, nor the mundane-ness, of the statement at all.
“What?” He said, turning to actually face Liam. “There isn’t any sort of reprieve for the town’s saviours?”
“The board doesn’t deem a staff member committing mass homicide unusual enough to ward us the extra few days off.”
Which, when Theo thought about it, was fair, all things considered.
“Huh, guess there’s no rest for the wicked.”
Liam tipped his head. “Or Finstock.”
Theo grinned at that. A metaphorical olive branch. “Does he not fall under the previous bracket?”
Liam’s eyes flicked across his face.
It was strange how easily Theo fell into this type of dynamic with Liam. Sure, it never lasted long. But for some reason, Liam was always the most willing to hear Theo out. And Theo appreciated that, even when it resulted in a punch being thrown his way more often than not.
Theo relished in the feeling of his knuckles colliding with skin, content to air his grievances out with the smash of a fist, and he was sure Liam felt the same way. Their sparring matches were probably more therapeutic than any of Monroe’s meetings had been.
The buried part of him, the Theo drowning in guilt and unsaid apologies, fought to gain control of his tongue. Suddenly desperate to fill the lull in conversation by spilling years worth of regrets out onto the table for Liam to stare and pick at as he pleased.
Instead, he wrinkled his nose in a sign of disgust. “ God , how can you eat that?”
“Eat what?” Liam asked, polishing off the crust of his slice. Theo could tell his fingers were slick with grease from where he was sitting.
“The end bits,” Theo stated, feeling like an idiot. He was sure he sounded like one too. But the amused quirk of Liam’s eyebrow aimed in his direction was too good to lose now that he had come so far.
“The crust?” The question sounded incredulous.
Theo nodded. “Yes.”
Then, because Liam was looking at him incredulously, eyebrows raised and mouth open, a spark of delight in his gaze. So different from the usual downturn of his lips and hard as steel stare, he added: “Awful.”
Liam’s mouth stretched out into a wide smile when he realised Theo was being dead serious. Theo’d never been on the receiving end of something so bright in his entire life, he tried not to preen under the attention. Maybe the whole reformed villain gig wasn’t so bad.
“Who knew Theo Raeken had such-” Liam paused, eyes raking across Theo’s entire body. “-juvenile tastes.”
Theo had to be hallucinating.
“Fuck off.”
“No, no,” Liam pushed himself away from the counter. “This is something we need to unpack–”
“Liam.”
“-you’re the one who brought it up, you can’t just back out now–”
Liam moved even closer.
Theo didn’t budge.
When their eyes met, Theo felt a weird sense of deja vu. Something that tasted like the burn of antiseptic against an open wound and sounded like the firing of guns and felt like his heart hammering in his chest as his eyes dropped down to Liam’s lips and Liam turned his head to look at the door, jaw set in a way that made Theo’s stomach plummet.
“Okay, okay, fine,” Liam relented, stepping away again. That felt familiar too.
Theo watched as Liam dropped down into the chair across from him instead of resuming his position at the other side of the room, finally crossing the wide cavern on white tiles that had separated them before.
They lapsed into silence again.
It was hard toeing the line of camaraderie and nuisance. Walking along a tightrope that caused him to teeter, swaying to either side depending on where Theo put his foot: in front of him or in his mouth.
“Thank you,” Liam said after the quiet had stretched on far too long for it to be actually considered comfortable. Theo’s attempt to initiate banter aside, there wasn’t really much they could talk about. At least not without addressing the elephant in the room, which it seemed Liam was charging at like a bull out for blood.
Which is something Theo should’ve expected, really.
“Thank you?” Theo asked, because he was an idiot at heart. Following the clear path to his own demise that was laid out in front of him. Led there by Liam and his blue eyes and Scott’s name on his phone.
“For saving my ass,” Liam replied, he didn’t look at Theo as he said it, scratching his thumbnail into the ridges at the edge of the table. “Don’t know why you showed up, but thanks.”
If Liam saw the way Theo flexed his fingers, he didn’t comment on it, and Theo was eternally grateful. “Don’t mention it.”
Then, after the silence started to creep in again, he added. “Scott called me, said you were in trouble.”
This caught Liam’s attention, his head snapping up to study Theo. Suddenly a lot more willing to finish the conversation out than he had been a moment ago, even though he was the one who had initiated it in the first place.
Sure, others were mentioned, Theo remembered the call vividly. But the key name was Liam.
‘Wherever Liam and the others are, get them out of there.’
Theo had turned around before he had figured out where he was supposed to be heading. Truck already speeding away from the sign that said ‘you are now leaving Beacon Hills’ and the possibility of Theo ever being able to leave the town behind. Forever doomed to come back, like every other before him.
“So you came?” He asked, slow and careful. Like he was considering something. Like he had just been presented with the most thought-provoking puzzle ever created.
Theo looked away this time. Skin heated under his gaze, the veins in his arms burning. “So I came.”
-
Theo had always been an early riser, even before the Doctors had made themselves at home in his mind and under his mattress.
As a kid, he’d slide out of bed when the sun was only just beginning to rise and tip-toe his way across the house, making sure to not disturb his parents or sister on his way to the kitchen. When he’d gotten a little older and his bedroom became an old operating theatre in the sewers, he’d still rise at the exact same time. Cold and aching from whatever procedure he’d been put through the night before, probably a lot more furry than he had been when he had curled up to sleep. Torn clothes draped over a canine torso. Electrically charged chain-link fence looking a lot more threatening when on all fours.
It seemed to be a nervous tick he had developed. His body’s final attempt at taking back its autonomy in whatever way it could. Sure, Theo was able to control the shift. He could snap his bones and sprout hair from his skin and fall down onto all fours without breaking a single sweat. Tail swishing in the wind as his skin rippled and peeled when he launched himself into combat, his padded feet pounded on the ground as soon as he broke out into a sprint. He had years of experience under his belt. Hours spent locked up as he shifted to a wolf and back, studied by the Doctors like some circus act.
But that didn’t mean the ability didn’t slip from his tight hold sometimes. It was something he technically wasn’t supposed to be able to handle, or do. If the knowledge everyone has on werewolves is to believed. Spinal cord too weak and just not built for the purpose of a full shift. Or, Theo supposed, his own spinal cord would be like that. The one underneath his skin was stolen so he'd be able to do exactly what wasn't expected of him. Keep everyone on their toes.
Unfortunately, everything was harder to maintain when you weren’t a real werewolf. More exhausting, more painful. Not that Theo would ever let that show. He’d been trained better than that.
And though he had more control over his abilities than your run-of-the-mill supernatural– if he ever qualified as a supernatural– intense emotions could trigger intense reactions, just like they would for any other teenager werewolf.
So when he woke up the next morning, the room a lot bigger in size, and his body feeling lighter than it should, Theo huffed out a breath, snout slamming down onto his paws.
After their interaction the night before, Theo had traipsed down stairs and into the basement after Liam, crashing on the dusty, old futon as Liam spread himself out across the pull out couch.
Theo hoped Liam was still asleep as he stood and shook himself out of the blanket, peering over at the heap of pillows and limbs on the couch cautiously. Timid developing friendship be damned, Theo was not ready to deal with the mountain of questions Liam spotting Theo fully-shifted would bring.
Carefully, he peeled himself off the futon. Padding until he was somewhat obscured from the view of the stairs if anyone decided to come down for an early morning wake-up call.
He closed his eyes as he tossed his head back and allowed his limbs to contot, cursing the way his joints popped back into place. The noise was loud, sickening and wet. Theo rolled back onto his heels, his bare skin cooled by the breeze that curled in through the basement window they had left open the night before.
“Well,” Liam started from his spot on the pull out couch. Ignorant to the way Theo froze. “That was painfully unsubtle.”
Theo scoffed as he stood up, not really one for modesty. Just general avoidance of personal discussions. “I was trying to be polite.”
Liam’s gaze did not stray from Theo’s face, as he grinned. “Yeah, right.”
There was that ease again. The one they had fallen into the night before. The type that stretched on for those few minutes in his truck after the zoo before insults were being flung in each other's direction instead of addressing the elephant in the room.
Theo wanted to bask in it. Let himself be warmed by the way Liam’s eyes shone. Let himself believe that whatever limbo he had entered that made him now so different from the him before the hospital would continue on for however long it was going to last.
Unfortunately, Liam had other planes.
“You do that a lot?” He asked, waiting as Theo turned in search of the Sheriff’s bag of clothes that had been tossed down into the basement after they were finished with it yesterday. Theo kept his back to Liam as he squatted down to rifle through it for something to wear since the shift had left his previous borrowed clothes in tatters. An inconvenient side effect when you were living on a budget.
“Not really,” Theo said as an answer, ignoring the way he could feel Liam’s gaze on the back of his neck.
“Huh,” Liam said, slow and deliberate. Theo could feel the accusation coming. “You looked familiar.”
Theo remembered the way the school hallways had felt beneath his paws and he’d chased after a scrambling Mason and Liam. Remembered the glow of Liam’s eyes and the flash of fangs and the way Mason looked like he was in awe rather than trembling in fear. Foiling Theo’s attempt at driving a wedge in-between them. Even if it ended up better off in the long run. Theo wasn’t sure how much Liam could’ve survived with Mason’s support.
Cause it was me, Theo thought, stepping into the leg of a large pair of sweatpants.
“Weird.” He said instead.
Theo stood, still shirtless, and turned to face Liam, arms crossing over his chest. “I’m not the one in whatever wolf-themed fantasies you have Liam.”
Liam studied him for a second, then his grin grew wider, eyes flicking up and down. “You could be.”
Was Liam skipping the belligerent up and coming friendship in favour of homoeroticism, or was Theo still asleep?
The sweatpants hung low on Theo’s waist as he huffed and turned away from Liam’s stare, heading back to the futon to see if he could somehow salvage what was left of the grey t-shirt he had on the night before since there was nothing but plaid left in Stilinski’s bag.
“It was you, wasn’t it?” Liam asked, watching as Theo picked at the tattered fabric. “In the school?”
Theo looked over his shoulder. “Yeah.”
Liam threw the white t-shirt he’d been wearing yesterday at Theo’s face.
“I’ve been trying to figure out who that was for ages,” He complained, finally getting up from his make-shift bed. He didn’t sound upset. More amused, than anything else. Theo wasn’t sure how they had managed to have two civil discussions in the last day and a bit, but he prayed it would continue. Especially if Liam kept aiming that smile in his direction.
“My bad,” Theo said, not sounding apologetic at all. He pulled the t-shirt up over his head. Thankful to not be having this conversation while still shirtless. If he was going to have to revisit his greatest hits as a super-spy, he’d like to at least look like his dignity is still intact.
Liam watched unabashedly as Theo tugged the t-shirt down over his abdomen, standing significantly closer to Theo than he had been a moment ago. It seemed to be a welcome distraction from whatever was whirring around in that brain of his. He looked like he was mulling over his words, crafting the sentence he was going to say next. Like whatever was about to come out of his mouth was going to send Theo hightailing out of Beacon Hills.
Theo supposed it was a valid concern. There were very few things Theo wouldn’t consider a sign to skip town.
“Guess I owe you two favours now,” Liam said, and Theo furrowed his brow.
Oh, we’re keeping score? He thought, keeping his gaze steady as Liam met his eyes. Theo didn’t mention the fact he was probably more indebted to Liam than the actual people he had killed. After all, Liam was the one who brought him back.
“We’ll call it even,” Theo said, running a hand through his ungelled hair.
Liam watched the movement with that same stupid grin that made Theo’s inside flip. “Yeah, okay.”
Theo’s eyes dropped down, distracted by his lips. Liam looked away. Again. But patted at Theo’s shoulder as he made his way towards the stairs.
“Even sounds good.”
-
Despite the fact Liam was now sitting on one of Theo’s worst kept secrets, the rest of the morning went by pretty smoothly.
Theo was almost left to his own devices, existing on the outside of the general hustle and bustle of Melissa McCall’s kitchen as breakfast was dished out and the chatter reached higher levels of volume because everyone’s exhaustion was seemingly cured by one night of mostly fitful sleep.
It was interesting seeing them all exist in such casual conditions. Sure, Theo had got a taste of it when he was masquerading as an ally back before he was sent to hell, but he wasn’t really allowed in the fold like he is now. Accepted as if he was just another decoration in the room. As if it wasn’t unusual for them to see a sleep rumpled Theo leaning up against the side of the fridge.
After their interaction, Theo had launched himself into the shower to try and scrub away the ache in the bones from the shift– and the phantom buzz of Gabe’s pain. Cursing how inhuman he felt, his skin stretching out over his muscles and joints in all the wrong ways.
Liam had slipped up the stairs as soon as he had deemed their conversation over, possibly the first of the rest of the house to make his way to the kitchen. Theo hung back for a while after he finished his shower, listening as the others all woke up and started the day. Offering casual greetings as they convened for the feast Melissa and Argent were cooking up.
He had stayed in the basement, crashing down onto the unmade pullout couch, letting the noise of the house wash over him until Scott eventually sent Stiles, of all people, down to let him know that if he didn’t hurry his ass up, all the food would be gone. The threat was more kind than anything, something Theo might actually think to analyse at a later date.
Right now, however, he was waiting for the crowd around the buffet of breakfast foods spread out across the counter to thin out. Arms crossed over his chest as he observed the chaos from a safe distance.
Malia was scarfing down bacon as Scott grinned fondly over the rim of his coffee cup. Lydia was peeling an orange and exchanged half of it with Stiles as they spoke to one another. Liam was pointing a fork in accusation at Mason for something Theo couldn’t quite catch and Theo could see the way Corey was trying to hide the laughter behind a slice of toast and Liam became more heated.
It was the type of scene you’d see in a movie. The hero and his family all crammed onto one tiny table, trading insults and smiles as they munched on takeout from whatever restaurant sponsored the film, the atmosphere all goofy and feel-good.
Theo was more than happy to just observe for a little bit longer. He wasn’t sure how he’d even insert himself into the situation. His days of being a tactical, undercover spy were far behind him. Pushed away by the increasing number of times he’d been caught sleeping in the back of his truck and ease at which they’d gotten under his skin. (And buried him.)
A hand dropped down onto his shoulder before Theo realised someone had come up beside him. The touch was soft, but Theo still flinched.
“Welcome to the madhouse,” Melissa said, instead of mentioning it. Theo tried not to dwell on the kindness in her tone. Tried not to think about how the very same hand had slammed against Scott’s chest in an attempt to revive him.
“I think hell was more appealing,” The joke was probably in poor taste, and honestly, Melissa wouldn’t really get the entire context of it, but her lips quirked into a smile anyway.
And then, just like that, he was propelled forward, shoved by her hand over to the counter and the food and the others.
“So you finally decided to join us, huh?” Liam said as Theo sat in Stiles’ suddenly vacated seat, dropping a plate of what was left of the bacon and half a grapefruit onto the table. He then leaned over and nabbed some bacon off Theo’s plate.
There was a look exchanged by Mason and Corey that Theo decided to not read into. And he ducked when Stiles swatted at his head in retaliation for swiping his seat. Trying and failing to suppress the smile that spread across his face at the realisation the action was fond , even if it was a little stilted.
Mason then nabbed the extra piece of bacon from Liam, raising an eyebrow at the beta’s indignant squawk. “You ate all of mine.”
Corey rolled his eyes as the two fell into another argument, and Theo chose to answer Liam in his head instead of interrupting the flow of the conversation.
“So you finally decided to join us, huh?”
Yeah, Theo thought, stabbing his fork into a strip of bacon, exchanging a look with Lydia as Liam tried to rope Scott into agreeing with him on the importance of bacon in a werewolf’s diet, yeah I guess I did.