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Rin Nohara was 15 years old, and she was terrified. The only thing she knew was that if she got to her village she would destroy everyone there and that, despite knowing this, she couldn't stop moving towards Konohagakure for more then a handful of minutes at a time.
The only thing she knew was that in a few hours time her home would be in ruins and it would be all her fault.
Then Kakashi appears with every intent to save her and she cries because anyone but him, please, but she knows what she has to do. Her stream of consciousness is nothing but apologies and pleas for forgiveness and the ever present ache of missing Obito and every ounce of hope that Kakashi can, somehow, recover from this, as she impales herself on his attack. She looks up to meet his eyes, trying to convey all of her apologies and reassure him that it isn't his fault. "Kakashi-" she gurgles through her own blood, determined to give him some sort of closure, but she never gets the chance.
Instead, she watches his Sharringan transform into a pinwheel shape. Then, louder than even Kakashi's scream (earsplitting, sickening scream), she hears a 'pop', and her vision goes blurry instead of black as she feels something Roar in her.
--
"Kawarama-chan." A soft voice cooed, as Rin gasped awake. She didn't scream, but she would very much like to. Instead she shoved her erratic emotions to the back of her mind and analyzed her situation, like the good Shinobi Minato-sensei made sure she was.
The house she was in was very old fashioned: She hadn't seen anything like it outside of the small villages around ancient temples or the oldest parts of the clan compounds her and Obito would sneak into. The house was made of solid wood and smelled like herbs, and she saw several small plants lining the windows. She was in a wooden baby cradle, and the blanket she was wrapped in seemed worn down and hand made.
With that realization came another: the reason she felt so out of control was because she wasn't in her own body. She was in the body of a baby, one with lighter skin then her own, if not by much. She couldn't feel the purple seals on her cheeks, but she also couldn't feel the overloading anguish of emotional onslaught either, so this was almost definitely not her body.
The thought made her shiver, but it couldn't be anything but the truth. Genjutsu like this...didn't exist.
"Kawarama-chan." the voice repeated, and she clumsily sat up to look curiously at the boy in the door. He was small, almost definitely still a toddler, but he held himself like a Gennin. There was a sword at his hip, and he looked strangely familiar, though she couldn't quite place it. He held a small bowl of mush in one hand, and had a kind glint in his eyes. "It's breakfast time." He grinned, walking closer to her and holding the bowl away from himself. She understood why, when he got closer and she crinkled up her nose. It smelled gross.
"Nnnn." She whined, shaking her head, because she couldn't form words yet. The boy laughed.
"Now now, don't give me that look. Hahaue says you haveta eat good food so you get strong. Like your Aniue, yea?" He coaxed. It fell on deaf ears, quite honestly, but her stomach growled and she realized that she was starving. She scowled, but obediently ate the mush as he spoon fed it to her. She reached out and tried to take the spoon for herself a few times, but he always took it bite after a bite or two, because her useless baby hands didn't have the coordination.
She'd have to fix that, she thought absently, trying to orientate herself. What had happened? Where was she? Was Obito- no of course not- Was Kakashi okay? Minato-sensei? Where were they? Did she destroy Konoha? Did she die?
Rin had a million questions, and her brain was too underdeveloped to hold onto any of them long enough to figure them out. It was frustrating and really just made her want to cry, but she was far too tired by the time the boy left the room to do anything but fall asleep.
--
The dozen meals over the course of half a week followed the same pattern, until she was good enough to feed herself about half the time. One day the boy comes in with a sad and scared look in his eyes. Rin was instantly on edge, gripping the side of the cradle to help her stand and look out at at him.
"Don't be difficult for Tobi-kun and Hahaue just because I won't be here for a while." He warned suddenly, and her head snapped up to stare at him, the only consistent thing she has in her new life.
"Yoo gon?" She babbled, cringing at her own butchering of language. Nonetheless, he seemed to understand, and he winced as he looked away.
"Chichiue said that I'm strong enough to go fight, so he's sendin me out." The boy explained hesitantly, and Rin tilted her head.
The boy was obviously training to be a Shinobi, she had known that since the first day. The notion made her a little uncomfortable, but it wasn't all that uncommon for clans to start training their children when they're very young, from what she heard. She had written his training was as a clan thing and moved on, just like she did with his slightly old fashioned accent. No one she knew besides Obito's gran spoke quite like that.
But now the boy was talking about going into battle, and that was equal parts baffling and enraging. He couldn't be any older then five years old. Even Kakashi didn't start taking missions with any substantial risk of combat until he was eight, Minato-sensei said so. The academy graduate age was looser in times of war, but most still didn't graduate until they were ten. The only village she'd even heard whispers about sending children out this young was Iwagakure, and she didn't like the implications at all.
She hadn't even considered that she could have been reborn (or whatever this is- rebirth was her current theory) in a different village, which, in hindsight, was dumb of her. She hadn't seen a glimpse of any hitai-ate and hadn't seen outside yet, and she had been working on the assumption she was a part of a Shinobi clan: She should have at least had an idea which one.
really it was just the fact that, somehow, everything seemed distinctly Konoha. It felt like home. It's not like the rock dwelling dullard monsters of Iwa would tell their baby sibling funny stories to force them to open their mouth and eat mush. It's not like any of the bloodthirsty sadists from Kiri could have such a bright smile and eyes full of love and devotion to his family.
"...don d-ai. bee ba soo-n." She said carefully, and her Aniki's face crumpled. She, in her stupid baby body, started to tear up at the simple thought of the older boy never returning. She balled her tiny fists into her blanket and sniffed, refusing to cry. Shinobi don't cry.
"...Okay, ototo. I'll be back soon." He promised softly, ruffling her hair and it was stupid, It was stupid, but that cheered her up enough to banish the tears. The boy left, forgetting the spoon and bowl. She managed to grab them, and started practicing eating in an attempt to get her mind off of how young the boy she just watched walk off to war was.
She couldn't wait to grow up. At least she'd be able to do something.
--
She hid the bowl and she spoon when she went to bed, under her pillow. She held the Spoon as she slept like a Kunai, and slept easy for the first time that week.
When she woke up, it was to a bark of "Ototo." from a comically squeaky voice. She rubbed her eyes and sat up to see that a white haired boy even younger then the other stood passively in front of her crib. He was scowling, stood on a step stool to look down on her properly, and she immediately started tearing up because he reminded her of Kakashi. The scowl turned worried and panicked as soon as she started tearing up, and that just made it worse.
"None of that," The child demanded, but it sounded too much like a question to be taken seriously. "You have a meal to eat." He redirected, and her brain thankfully latched onto the distraction easily. She wrinkled her nose as she always did when the smell reached her, and the boy smirked. She stuck her tongue out at him, and the conniving boy took the opportunity to spoon a mouthful of food into her mouth, clever bastard. Much smarter then the first boy, that was for sure.
Speaking of her Aniue, he did mention not being difficult for another boy that she assumed would be watching over her. She tilted her head and ate a few more bites as she struggled to remember the name he mentioned (stupid baby brain with the memory of a goldfish and the focus of a squirrel-) before it came back to her.
"Tobi-kun?" She asked curiously. To his credit, the toddler only paused for a second before he continued feeding her. She didn't try to take the spoon from him: She wanted to perfect the technique of feeding herself before she attempted it for real again. He obviously hadn't done this before, unlike Aniue, who she assumed had practiced on Tobi-kun. The younger boy kept hitting her teeth or the back of her throat with the spoon, and he was awkwardly stiff with his movements.
"Did you hear that from Aniue?" He sighed, and she nodded. He rolled his eyes. "Well, Aniue can call me that, because he's older. You still have to call me Aniue." He explained, and she frowned. was that how siblings work?
"das co-fuzi!" She whined, and it was his turn to frown.
"...I guess I can see that." He admitted. "you could call me...Anija?" He suggested, and she nodded.
"mk, An-i-ta." She smiled uncertainly. She hadn't had any siblings, unless you counted Obito (she did), so she really didn't know the first thing about them. The boy relaxed a little and smiled at the address before he finished feeding her and stood to leave, so she probably did it right.
She didn't tear up when she longingly thought if only making Kakashi-kun smile had ever been that easy.
--
"Me! Me!" Rin demanded, making grabby hands for the spoon. It was weeks after Aniue left, and Anija was feeding her again, but she was finally confident in her ability to feed herself. Anija frowned in confusion at the demands, and full on scowled when she batted his hand away when he tried to feed her. "Nooo! I wanna!" She whined, and the cautious boy relented, probably annoyed by the screeching.
"Fine! But when you spill your food on yourself, I'm not getting you more!" He harrumphed, crossing his arms and shoving the mush into her waiting baby hands. She smirked, always amused when her Anija lost his deceptively short temper, and smiled as she started eating. She was ridiculously proud of her basic hand eye coordination.
Minutes later, the food was neatly gone and she handed the bowl back to Anija. He gaped at her as subtly as a four year old could (which was, even for him, not very), and she beamed.
"Where did you learn that?" He squacked, and she smirked again.
"Secwet." She claimed, and he stomped his foot.
"Tell me!" He demanded, pouting, and she crossed her arms in an imitation of him.
"Yoo kee-eep secwet?" she offered, because she had never been good at keeping secrets from people she cared about. He considered it carefully, before nodding slowly. She lifted up her pillow to reveal the empty bowl and spoon.
"An-i-ooo-e lef it!" She giggled, picking it up and mimicking eating. "I pwatis!" She declared, and Anija gave a rare smile- the third one she'd seen in twice as many weeks.
"Good job, Ototo." He praised, before turning to leave. He let her keep her stolen goods, and 'accidently' leaves behind another spoon. She snatched it up greedily.
It wasn't much, but it was enough to count as a good day.
--
A month passed, and Aniue finally came back home. He slammed her door open and presented a bowl of mush, and she almost knocked the crib over when she pushed against the side of it to reach out and hug him. He gave a boisterous laugh and placed the mush down on a desk as he returned her hug, and she felt safer then she has since she woke up in her new life, as she spotted Anija standing in the doorway and watching with a his 6th smile. She laughs freely and loudly, and Anija flinches at the noise. He's a very quiet boy.
Her parents had, apparently, also returned home. She saw Chichiue for the first time when he entered her room to scold her brothers for wasting time and carted them off to training. Hahaue watched her for the rest of the day, and then the rest of the week. The woman is kind enough, but also distant and broken. Rin misses her brothers, and almost hates the woman for being there instead of her brothers. She knows it isn't fair, though, so she tries not too.
She let her Hahaue feed her because the woman obviously has overwhelming motherly instincts that she fights against whenever she looks at Anija and Aniue. She isn't often allowed to raise her children and be a nurturing parent; Rin will give her whatever she can, even if the woman made her uncomfortable- she'd never had a mother before, and wasn't sure what to do now that she did.
Hahaue is obviously pregnant, and the thought of a little sibling excites Rin. Sure, Kakashi and Obito counted as little brothers as far as she cared, and her mind was in constant battle over whether she saw her current brothers as older or younger then her, but she'd never had an actual little sibling before, and it was exciting. What if it was a girl? She almost squealed at the thought! As much as she loved her boys (all four of them), it'd be nice to have more feminine company for once.
(Hahaue doesn't count. She barely counted as any company, with how willowy and distant she is, despite all her efforts. She treated Rin like she couldn't understand a word she spoke, and Rin hated it even if it was a perfectly normal thing to do. At least her brothers talked to her like a person.)
The only time she insisted on really talking to Hahaue was when she wanted to feel her baby sibling kick or babble at them even though she knew they couldn't hear her. She felt their little feet kick and stared in awe every time. She couldn't wait to meet them. She knew, somehow, that they were going to be her favourite person ever, and it almost felt like a betrayal to Obito to even consider it, but she knew.
A part of her was nervous, of course. They would be born into a war they would no doubt have to fight in, if Aniue and Anija were any indication, and that thought was sobering and angering. She swore to herself that she would do the best she would protect them. To protect all of them, really, while she was at it.
This war, whatever it was and whoever it was against, may take many lives. It will not take those of the people close to her.
(She could not fail another brother. She would not abandon her comrades.)
--
An entire month passes, before she sees her brothers again. She spends most of that time with her mother and sibling to be, pretending to sleep in her crib while she worked on building her chakra reserves. She knew better then to push it too much; her chakra coils were still developing, and too much strain was bound to cause any number of issues, up to and including rendering her chakra completely useless. Still, she made due with what she could manage (she was a little upset that this baby body had more chakra potential in infancy then she did until she was at least nine) and, slowly but surely, started building a sensors field.
She had never been the best at sensing chakra, but Kushina-nee had taught them all the basics. Now Rin just had to build on them. Not only was it a relatively safe way to build up her chakra and strengthen her pitiful coils, but, maybe, she could get a better feel of who and what was going on around her, or maybe even what happened in the first place. For all that she loved her new brothers, she missed her team. She was still having trouble trying not to overlay Anija with Kakashi or even, occasionally, Aniue with Minato-sensei.
(the only real silver lining was that she didn't have a parallel for Obito. His absence hurt, she was sure it always would, but she couldn't handle someone that constantly reminded her of him. It was manageable with the other two, but she couldn't bear dealing with the ghost of Obito anymore then she already did.)
She's thankful for her practice because, had she not been working on sensing, she would have thrown a bowl straight into her dumb brother's face when he broke into her room silently, Anija right behind him and slipping the window closed.
"An-i-oo-e!" She gurgled quietly, sitting up alertly in her crib. Aniue jumped at the sudden noise, probably assuming she was asleep, but Anija seemed as amused as she was at the eldest boy's miscalculation. Aniue looked around the room suspiciously, finger twitching for a weapon just in case, until he relaxed as his eyes came to rest on her mildly amused form.
"Ototo!" Aniue whisper yelled, followed by an insistant 'Shhh!' from her paranoid Anija. She suppressed a laugh when it went over both of their heads that the shushing was louder then the outburst itself.
Who's idea was it to make her adorable toddler brother Shinobi, again? She'd like to issue a complaint. Or a restraining order. Or a hit.
--
Here's the thing: Rin, as a baby, had grown used to doors being opened. She rarely even woke at the sound of a door creaking open anymore. Rin, as a baby, had grown used to feeling safe and cozy.
But Rin, as a Shinobi, was paranoid as hell acutely aware how a window sounds when it's opened. Rin, as a shinobi, slept with a weapon under her pillow, even if it was just a spoon.
So, when her window slid open in the middle of the night, her breath expertly didn't stutter as her brain pulled her to awareness. She gripped the spoon in her hand, already forming plans. She was picked up roughly, and she snapped her eyes open. She was held by a Shinobi clad in unassuming civilian clothes, who's eyes went wide and panicked when they met Rin's. She opened her mouth to scream, and the Shinobi covered her mouth with one hand and carried Rin under their armpit with the other.
Like a fresh Gennin (or someone who didn't register a baby as a threat), they didn't even notice the spoon she held. She didn't let herself dwell on it as she gripped it with both hands as hard as she could and didn't think as she snapped the wood in half, stabbing the splintered spoon head into their thigh and squirming out of their hold.
She flipped the splintered handle of the spoon in her hand to wield like the sharpened stick it was, and started screaming as loud as she could at the same time the wounded Shinobi did.
She watched them fall inelegantly to the floor, directly onto the leg she stabbed, driving the wood further into their leg. She kept her eyes on them and the window as she stumbled backwards towards her door, still screaming. The door was thrown open, and she let out a sigh of relief. Her throat hurt.
"Kawarama-chan!" Aniue shouted, eyes focusing on the crumpled shinobi immediately with a protective snarl. There was a reflective flash when he pulled his blade and stabbed the fallen enemy straight through the heart, before flying out the window to clear any other threats that may be lurking. She heard muffled shouts from below, and shivered. She knew the boy had already been sent to battle, but she had never seen him so vicious before.
She'd never seen him as a threat.
Anija didn't say a word, but firmly planted himself in front of Rin, eyes surveying the scene before him. Rin's knuckles were white around her makeshift weapon, and she turned to stand back to back with her Anija.
It was basically meaningless: she knew her brothers would do their best to keep her out of the fight, and she didn't have any real intention of fighting back-to-back with her Anija. She could barely stand on her own two useless baby feet. Still, the position was familiar, and it calmed her. Anija, obviously, insisted on facing the window, so she watched the shadows of the door they came from.
She couldn't help imagining this was how Obito felt anytime he was backed into a corner during a fight and she struck enemies down without hesitation for him. Kakashi always got pissy when she did it because she wasn't supposed to fight unless it was absolutely necessary, and she always got pissed at him because Obito being in danger automatically mean's it's absolutely necessary to fight. Duh. For someone so smart, Kakashi really was an absolute dumbass.
It was a wistful memory, and she felt a cry fighting it's way up her throat. Then Aniue slipped back through the window, splattered with blood, and she looked at her broken spoon, one of the only things she owned-
And she started sobbing. She was wailing like a damn banshee, probably just as loud as she was screaming before, and she was already craving honey tea for her throat in the morning. She absolutely broke down, adrenaline still working its way through her premature veins. It didn't help that, as much as she'd like to deny it, this body wasn't used to life-or-death situations, and adrenaline left it a primarily terrified and confused mess.
She was distantly relieved her brain didn't really grasp the natural revulsion of stabbing another person with a spoon. That was not something she was looking forward to coping with at the moment. She already went through 'first kill hell', thank you.
She fell to the floor with Anija still to her back, and she glimpsed Aniue hurrying over to her before she put her hands to her face in a desperate attempt to stop herself from crying. It didn't work.
"Kawarama-chan? Kawarama-chan, what's wrong? are ya hurt?" Aniue fussed, trying to pull her hands from her face to inspect her. All he really succeed in doing was getting snot to mix with a patch of blood on his sleeve, as she yanked away from him and kept wiping at her eyes. Shinobi don't cry, dammit, she used to be good at this.
To be fair, she also used to be good at walking, but at least she was getting better at that. It felt like even after months of being stuck here her brain wasn't growing at all. How long did it take useless baby bodies to grow into something semi-functional? She wasn't really paying attention when she was a baby the first time. Kakashi had graduated at 5, so less then that? But Kakashi was, like, insanely smart and strong. Was he a fair measuring stick for a regular babies development? Was Kakashi even ever a baby?
The confusion made her cry harder, and then she got more frustrated at how much she was crying, which also made her cry more. By the Sage, was there anything that didn't make her cry?
"Are you hurt?" Her Aniue repeated, more insistant and with a firm grip on either of her arms. She panicked and yanked herself back, having no desire to be touched so soon after an attempted- Kidnapping? Murder? Bad Scary Thing.
"Nnn-no." She manage to gasp out between sobs, and both of her brothers relaxed a little. She took their moment of calm to scoot herself against a wall and take a deep breathe. She couldn't regulate her tears, but she could regulate her sobs and whimpers and gasps, somewhat. It was better then nothing. "I- Sumone besis A-ni-ta or A-ni-ooo-e pick-ted me up an' sto-oppt me fum scweein. "Bu dey din' take my poon!" She blubbered, gripping the splintered handle of the spoon even harder. "So- so I. I bwoke i-it," She continued, and her breathing started to speed up against her will as her lip trembled. "I bwoke it, an I stapped dem so dey'd lemme go! An I stated scweein f-fo A-ni-ta an' A-ni-ooo-e, an yoo came, bu! Bu I bwoke my poon!" She wailed, throwing her arms out and hitting the ground with her fists.
It took her several long, embarrassing minutes to calm down somewhat again. She was feeling light headed by the end of it, and her brother's hadn't said anything. When she looked up, Anija was lighting a lantern with a confused scowl on his face, and Aniue was pushing the assailent's corpse out of her still open window. In one hand he was holding something she couldn't see, and she focused on it as he came closer. He sat in front of her, Anija sitting beside him as the lantern finally lit up, and reached out for her hand still holding the spoon handle. She flinched back, and he looked hurt. She shook her head.
"I-I no' fwaid a yoo, A-ni-ooo-e." she tried to reassure, biting her lip. "Jus don- don touch me. pwease. fo now?" She asked, lip trembling again. She was sad at the thought of hurting her big brother's feelings, but she was still jumpy and, honestly, a little scared of him. His protective snarl echoed in her head and, though she knew from experience (With Minato-sensei, with Kakashi, with herself) that it'd grow to be a comfort soon enough, it wasn't yet. She might owe Obito an apology, if she had scared him like this once upon a time.
She didn't think that Aniue believed her, but he nodded anyway and smiled. It was a sad, tired smile, but it was a smile, and it made her stop shaking a little bit.
"Ok, Kawarama-chan." He nodded, movements slow. "Can I have that?" He requested, pointing at the stick in her hand. She gripped it tighter and shook her head. It was hers! She didn't want to give it to him!
"Don't worry, I'll give it right back!" He promised, smile growing conspiring and playfully arrogant. "I'm just gonna do a ninja-magic trick to fix it, is all." He whispered, like a secret, and it made her pause. She thought about it, really, but mentally recoiled with some weird sort of separation anxiety.
Obito came to mind again, when she would offer to replace his banged up goggles and he would stubbornly refuse to part with them. She resorted to stealing them while he was sleeping and returning the restored goggles before he woke. Sage, she missed Obito.
Aniue frowned and sat back, apparently unsure how to proceed from there. Anija got up suddenly, and walked over to her cradle. She fidgeted anxiously, wanting to see what he was doing but also not wanting to leave the safety of the wall.
Thankfully, he wasn't there long. He grabbed her other spoon and her breath hitched, but he calmly walked back over and sat in front of her again, holding the spoon out.
"Can we trade?" He offered curiously. He still seemed generally confused, but this transaction seemed important to him. In her frantic and babbling baby brain, she couldn't hope to figure out why.
She stared at the spoon blankly in thought, considering the proposition. It wasn't something she wanted to do but...it was something she'd be okay with. She took a deep breath and nodded, reaching out to grab the spoon he was holding. He pulled it out of her reach and she glared up at him through tears, angry. He said they'd trade!
"If I give you this, you give that to Aniue." He said slowly, and she pouted and rolled her eyes, sniffling. She knew what it meant!
"K, A-ni-ta. Me fws." She demanded, reaching for the spoon again. He seemed apprehensive, but let her take it. She looked down at her hands, fought off the almost overwhelming urge to keep hold of them both, and handed the splintered one to Aniue. Anija smirked, like he had just solved a puzzle.
Aniue looked relieved, and opened his closed hand that she had focused on earlier. In it was the head of her spoon, and she gasped. He theatrically put the two splintered ends together. Her eyes boggled as the splintered pieces flattened back out and meshed back together, and the spoon was as good as new in only a matter of minutes: The only evidence that anything had happened was the jagged bloodstains on the upper part of it. As promised, he handed it right back to her, and she held it reverently.
Anija yawned and she looked up at him, both spoons in one hand. He looked out of her window.
"Do you need anything else, Ototo? It's late, and Aniue and I have training in the morning when Chichiue gets back." He said as kindly as he could, and she thought about it.
"Ca-ca yoo move my bed away fwom da window?" she asked softly. The tots looked a little grim, but nodded, letting her point to the corner in front of the door and as far as possible from the window. She crawled into her crib, said goodnight to her big brothers, and asked them to leave the lamp on in her room. Just for tonight.
--
She didn't sleep that night, instead staring at the fixed wooden spoon. There was something she was missing. Whatever Aniue had done to it, some part of her mind knew what it was, and it was nagging instantly at her brain. She spaced out for what might have been hours, trying to figure it out until it suddenly hit her: it was Mokuton, the Kekkei Genkai of the Shodaime and Nidaime's nearly-extinct clan.
After that thought it was like a damn broke, and things that had been bugging her started lining up.
The Shodaime and Nidaime, who were Senju brothers of the main branch of the family. The Shodaime and Nidaime, who entered battle when they were very young because that's how shinobi life was, before Konoha. The Shodaime and Nidaime, who were born in a time with much lower grade technology and tools then there were in the modern age. The Shodaime and Nidaime, who's faces one might vaguely recognize upon meeting them if said person had, say, been staring at giant recreations of their faces for her entire life. The Shodaime and Nidaime, who had two little brothers that died when they were young: Itama and Kawarama.
The Shodaime and Nidaime or, as she apparently knew them, Aniue and Anija.
--
Her brothers- because, even with this revalation, that's what they are- become a lot more protective of her, after that night. She is half-awoken in the middle of every night by one of them checking in on her, and she'd be annoyed if it wasn't so sweet. Instead she just hides her face in a pillow and smiles, to avoid them feeling guilty about waking her up.
After weeks- months? She'd never been good at keeping track of time- of chakra sensing and strategic napping, her Chakra coils are as developed as a toddlers. That still doesn't mean very much, she can't even stick a leaf to her head, but still she's- proud. It's an accomplishment, when those are so sparce for her, especially now, and she'll take what she can get. Especially because it's helping her shape up to be a rather impressive sensor, if she does say so herself.
She can talk better, and always gets to feed herself, and she can toddle around, and she grabs each achievement greedily. Her brothers were there when she takes her first steps, and their eyes widened in horror at just how quickly she was able to walk- she's barely seven months old. She knows they don't know she knows that they're concerned, but she's heard them whisper about Chichiue finding out about it and starting her training, like he did with them. She's heard them whisper about how they could delay it as long as possible.
She's come to realize that toddler Tobirama is fairly different then what she learned about him. She knows, logically, that it shouldn't be all that surprising, but it still throws her for loops. He doesn't vehemently hate the Uchiha- he's mostly fixating on the downfall of the Kaguya, who are the closest hostile clan to the Senju borders and thus the most likely to be a threat to Aniue when he goes on missions- nor to mention the ones that almost kidnapped her. Sure, he is against the Uchiha, but he in that casual way that was common even when she was growing up in Konoha. He was also far more reverent of Hashirama then the history books said. He trusts their eldest brother implicitly, and she can't imagine what happens to give him a reputation of being so skeptical of their Aniue.
Hashirama, on the other hand, is fairly in line with the history books she was so engrossed in growing up. He wanted them to live, be happy, and have peace- in that order. He's sweet and goofy, as she already knew, but far more mature then any 6 year old should be. He was highly opposed to either of them having to fight, especially so young, and she can respect that- the biggest fight her and Obito ever had was over their first kills, after all.
She can respect it, sure, but she unfortunately can't honestly say she has any intention of honoring it. Aniue may be still starry eyed and hopeful that he can somehow save them from the same war-torn fate he can see just a few years in his future, but he's already lost his chance with her.
Rin was a shinobi, and a fairly good one if she did say herself. It wasn't particularly fair, to Aniue or to the baby she possessed, but she had already seen more then her share of the horrors of war.
Granted, the Warring-States period was reportedly far worse then the Third Shinobi World War. She had made a fair amount of Child Solider jokes in her day- everyone, even Kakashi, did- but only the monsters in the likes of Iwa sent children under 10 to their deaths regularly. Kakashi was the exception in Konoha, while they had been rumored to be the rule in Iwa, and the thought of seeing and slaying such small faces made her stomach turn, but she could hardly afford to care.
Her shot at innocence had been shot years ago, when she was 12 and killing people before Obito could even try, just to delay his first kill as long as she could. When she was 13 and purposefully broke the medic rules and codes on a regular basis so the Med-Nin Corps. wouldn't try to recruit her away from her team, even with her talent for Iryou-Ninjtusu. When she was 14 and-
She winced at the morbid recollection, but her point stood, just like she did. She couldn't afford to let Aniue try to coddle and defend her from the world, especially when there wasn't anything he could coddle her from. So she took a deep breathe, discarded Anija's threats that she'd get in trouble if she ever walked in front of adults, and silently apologized to Hahaue as she grinned up at the woman and proudly toddled around the room.
Rin stubbornly looked as the woman flinched and her face fell. She watched the motherly love in Hahaue's eyes dim with bitter sorrow, and wished that she didn't hear the woman's sorrowful voice call out to Chichiue. Then Hahaue rested a hand on her stomach, and Rin saw the beginnings of tears as she walked briskly out of the room before Chichiue came in.
Rin swallowed a sob of her own- shinobi don't cry- and tilted her head curiously at the man in front of her. He smiled, and a shiver went down her back, flight instinct screaming louder then she could ever remember. Her head hurt- too much complex thought in it. She wished she had enough Chakra control to heal the head ache.
"Come here, Kamawara." Chichiue demanded, and she swallowed her torrent of unwelcome emotions and obeyed. She went as carefully as she could, one foot in front of the other with what little grace she could muster.
She reached his arms and smiled up at him, and he scowled, and she had to stop her stupid eyes from watering at the disapproval. He stood and demanded she follow as he strutted out of the room, and she fell to the ground a few times trying to match his speed.
Each step felt like a descent into something she'll never recover from, but she didn't care. Each step was one step closer to being able to protect her brothers- all three of them- and that made it worth whatever it would cost her.
--
After the first night of her training, she's more then tuckered out and ready to sleep for ever by the time she gets to bed, and can't bring herself to feel the usual rush of endearence she feels when her brothers wake her up in the middle of the night to check on her.
"M tiyawd, A-ni-ta." She grumbled, turning over to glare at him, and then flinched back when she blinked and he was standing right next to her crib with a critical eye. For the second time, she watched horror pool in Anija's eyes, and she refused to feel ashamed. She was doing this for them.
"Ototo, what happened?" He asked, voice edged with anger and suspicion, and she wanted to scoff. He knew what happened, he just didn't like it. She really didn't have the energy to indulge him, and settled for rolling her eyes as he bared his teeth. "Training? Already? You aren't even one." he seethed, and she sighed.
"I wanna help." she demanded with what was almost a hiss, and he glared at her. She sighed and rolled over. "M not sowwy, but I am ti-rrr-ed. lemme sweep." She whined, and he stormed off. She finally felt a pang of guilt, but it faded quickly with her consciousness as she welcomed sleep-
"Kamawara-chan???" Hashirama demanded in a whisper shout, barreling into her room as quietly as he could. She winced and reluctantly pried her eyes open to look at the boy. so close.
"yeah, Aniue?" She yawned, and flinched as he picked her up, annoying fear of him flaring up again, and she felt him flinch in turn. "Aniue! put me dow!" she demanded, glaring at him in protest, and he strategically fell to the floor with folded legs to be able to better look her over.
"ahh, ahh, calm down Kamawara-chan!" He cooed. "Let Aniue check up on you, yeah?" He requested, but she knew it was anything but. She knew when she was fighting a losing battle. She forced herself to stop tensing up and went limp, but blew a raspberry at him in protest to make her position crystal clear. He nodded at the childish action as if it were a valid point in an argument, and carefully inspected her with a pained and guilty look.
She was riddled with bruises from falling while going through the exercises she was put through, or from being pushed down when Chichiue decided she wasn't doing well enough and had to be reprimanded and restart. He glared at them as if his ire would make them go away, and she sighed as the guilt returned again.
Rin didn't regret starting her training, but she did regret that it made her brothers so upset. She let him look her over a total of five times before she grew tired and twitchy again and couldn't tolerate it. She pulled away like her instincts had been screaming at her to, and tried to beat back the fear before Aniue caught sight of it.
It wasn't fast enough, though- it never was. She looked up at Aniue, and he looked more wounded then she was. She wanted to reach out, hug him, assure him that she loved him, but she couldn't. Everytime she blinked, her imaginative and absurd mind replace Aniue with the monster her brain had twisted him into on the night she was almost kidnapped.
"...'M fine, Aniue." She whispered, managing to make eye contact and offer a small smile. "'M fine, an' 'M gonna help. you'w see." She nodded, and he teared up.
"Oh, I don't want you to help, Kamawara-chan. I just want you to be ok." He shook his head.
"You need it, thow." She sighed, and his face fell again. Sage, she did not have the energy for this. Shinobi don't cry. "You don' wan' my help, but you need it. You wan me to be ok, but I wan you to be ok Aniue. You and Ani-ta." She affirmed stubbornly, and his lip curled at the claim- the fact. She didn't care how terryfying her brothers would be in a few years, right now they were 6 and 5 and needed all the help they could get.
Aniue's face kept twisting trying to form an argument or denial that wasn't a flat out lie, and he came up blank. Desprate, he turned to Anija- somone who, despite his young age, was already impressively level-headed.
Anija didn't meet either of their eyes, but he remained damningly silent.
"Das what I thought. Now go 'way. I wanna sleep." She comanded, turning on her side and facing away from them again. Minutes passed and, eventually, she heard a defeated sigh as her Aniue bid her goodnight and left. Anija didn't say anything- he was already gone.
She had the strange and inexplicable urge to scream and cry and sob and whine, like a child.
Instead she took deep breathes and forced herself to fall asleep. Shinobi don't cry looped in her head like a lullaby, and she didn't dream of anything.
--
Training with Chichiue is, quite frankly, exactly what she expected- absolute hell.
He puts her in weighted clothing to start getting her ready for the body amour that all Senju wore in the Warring States period, and then starts her on exercises that are, to his credit, completely safe for babies. She can only imagine that the training regime is something that had been tweaked and twisted for maximum efficiency without permanently damaging the child, with how precise it it.
Before she's 10 months old, she can walk without wobbling or toddling or, Sage forbid, falling. She doesn't think even Kakashi could claim that. Probably.
Over the months, it becomes something of a past time, actually- debating whether or not Kakashi was more advanced at her age. She had mental debates with herself that could span hours on whether Kakashi held a Kunai before he was a year old, or started practicing katas and forms before he was 15 months old. Could he walk the house silently before he could consistantly pronounce his R's?
Sage, she missed Kakashi. And Minato-sensei. And Kushina. And Kuranai. And-
(She still couldn't even think of Obito.)
Aniue and Anija become more protective of her, of course, and doted on her when they could. She now owns a fork and a third spoon- they either aren't stealthy enough to steal much of anything besides disposable kitchenware or they don't feel the need to try any grander gestures, given the warm and light laugh she gives every time they sneak her new stolen silverware.
She can't help herself- it's so childish and simple, it's impossible not to be charmed into laughter at their attempts to cheer her up.