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Trust yourself, Andrea. Those were the last words Andy heard before she felt pulled out of time and space; weightless, noncorporeal, and drifting in blackness. The words came again, as if she had ears to hear them, in Miranda’s quiet, measured voice, “Trust yourself, Andrea.”
And just like that, Andy could see. Thousands of tiny lights. Stars! And beneath her was a boundless surface of dark, moving waters, ripples reflecting a brilliant Full Moon. Breathtaking in its expansiveness, Andy felt no fear despite floating above the surface. Just as this realization occurred, a single low bass piano note rang out, as if in surround sound, defying her understanding of spatial acoustics. Then, to her utter amazement, she heard her own voice projected into this new environment. She recognized it as the voice of her own inner intuitive self and the awareness brought an undercurrent of comfort, knowing a part of herself was reaching out to all other parts.
In the ocean, there's a mountain
As it was spoken, a mountain sprang from the ocean in front of her; the tectonic plates colliding, rumbling, driving up the earth’s crust as if in hyper-speed; a million years' worth of uplift witnessed in a matter of seconds.
On the mountain, there's a forest
Effortlessly rising, Andy floated upwards past the granite base, up the cresting slopes, until she was above a forested summit of ancient trees.
In the forest
In the forest, there's a garden
In the forest, there's a garden
In the forest, there's a garden
Gotta get in there, gotta get in there
As if she were a bird, Andy circled lower and lower. A thrill shot through her as she spotted an opening in the trees. Moving faster than should be possible, she dove into a verdant, fragrant, and clearly tended garden. It, too, felt familiar in spite of its newness.
In the garden, there's a flower
In the garden, there's a flower
In the garden, there's a flower
In the garden, there's a flower
Taking in the lushness, Andy spotted many flowers, wild and vibrant against the green. Turning in a full circle, she spotted it; a Protea that spanned at least a foot, regal in its presentation. The sharp, hot pink fading to white petal-like bracts were evenly spaced, framing the conical cluster of tightly pressed, unopened flowers.
Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry
Got to pluck it, got to pluck it
As Andy drew near, the pollen presenters unfurled in her direction and instantly, without thought or intention, she felt herself embody a new form and land upon the sweet yet yeasty smelling flower head. She extended her awareness into her new form; instead of a nose and lungs, she had spiracles, drawing the heady scent into her thorax. Glorious sweet nectar. Andy steadied herself on her six legs and with four eyes, gazed upward. The individual stars were no longer visible, but with her new compound vision, she could see the fuzzy stripe of the Milky Way streaking across the sky. She looked backward upon her shiny external emerald elytra wings of her Protea Beetle body and hoped Miranda was witnessing her new sparkling, jewel-like form. Suddenly, she felt the urge to scrabble around the cluster of flowers and wheedle her way into the center, the feeling of the pollen catching on her tufts of orange hair indulgent.
In the flower, there's a nectar
In the flower, there's a nectar
In the flower, there's a nectar
In the flower, there's a nectar
Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry
Got to taste it, I got to taste it
Got to taste it, I got to taste it
Andy munched through the thick pollen, sucking up the nectar.
Got to taste it, I got to taste it
Got to taste it, I got to taste it
In the nectar, there's an answer
In the nectar, there's an answer
In the nectar, there's an answer
In the nectar, there's an answer
Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry
Deploying her membranous alae underwings, Andy launched aflutter, weaving her way from the flower; her new body feeling heavy and intoxicated, buzzing loudly. She could feel a shift in her consciousness; a realization crystalized that everything around her and that was her was also within her.
Got to know it, got to know it
Got to know it, got to know it
In the answer, there's another
And within her was the power to shift her outer reality. With a twist, she felt released from her beetle form. Expanding into her nude human form, Andy landed softly, back upon the grass, legs and arms splayed, the blades tickling behind her knees. She couldn’t help but giggle at the sensation as understanding kept blooming within her.
And another, and another
Not only did she have the power to shift her reality, but she could create it.
And another, and another
And to create it, she only had to will it. Extending her right arm upwards, she waved her hand in an abrupt motion while thinking of water. To her shocked delight, a glass of cool water appeared out of thin air, just like Miranda had done earlier. She drank it down greedily and with a wave, watched the glass disappear. Incredible. Standing on unsteady legs, she surveyed her environment. This is me. I am this. At the thought, a large cocoon-like structure appeared in front of her and she knew she needed to go inside it, become it, be transformed by it. Just as she was about to touch it, her inner guide voice projected once more.
Slow down, slow down
Slow down, slow down
Gotta get in there, gotta get in there
Gotta get in there, gotta get in there
Slow down, slow down
Slow down, slow down
Gotta get in there, gotta get in there
Gotta get in there, gotta get in there
Oh!
In the blink of an eye, everything disappeared, and she was falling. With a splash she found herself in the dark waters, an eclipsing Moon overhead. No no no, I was so close! Andy knew she was being tested. Rising effortlessly from the water, droplets running down her skin, she joined her internal voice and spoke into the darkness:
In the ocean, there's a mountain
On the mountain, there's a forest
In the forest, there's a garden
In the garden, there's a flower
In the flower, there's a nectar
In the nectar, there's an answer
In that answer, there's another
And another, and another
And another, and another
Andy, from her floating position, watched the re-creation of everything she had first seen. As if watching a film, she saw her birdlike form disappear into the garden, and the scene zoomed in as she witnessed herself transform into the beetle burrowing into the flower. And as beetle Andy once again consumed the nectar, a revelation cascaded down her existence. All of this wasn’t just her. A together-but-separateness was inherent in all things. And just as she, Andy, yearned to be known, everything around her also had the same yearning.
Music erupted in the silence, and Andy smiled as she felt the vibrations. A chorus of voices from all the matter and life around her, the mountains, the trees, the flowers, the ocean beneath her, began chanting:
A-E-I-O-U A-E-I-O-U A-E-I-O-U
A-E-I-O-U A-E-I-O-U A-E-I-O-U
A-E-I-O-U A-E-I-O-U A-E-I-O-U
If you speak my name
Use my real name
The one I gave myself
A word can suggest my likeness
As a painting
Suggests distance
But mountains are not pictures of mountains
Or the letters that spell the word
In the language we are speaking
The foundation and its meaning
Does not crumble underfoot
For those who do not have the word
They stand, stand
Regardless
They stand, stand
RegardlessA-E-I-O-U A-E-I-O-U A-E-I-O-U
A-E-I-O-U A-E-I-O-U A-E-I-O-U
A-E-I-O-U A-E-I-O-U A-E-I-O-U
As their voices crescendoed, Andy felt herself being wrapped, snug, warm, cocooned by her magical core, now broken open. Breathing deeply, she gave her full weight and trust to the process. It was an undoing and a remaking, not to become someone new or different, but to become fully herself.
Smiling, she opened her eyes and met the loving and intensely focused eyes of her lover. My Miranda.
"You were right, love."
