Work Text:
The digital clock on the hotel nightstand flashes from 11:59 to 12:00. Junpei sighs as he puts down his phone, and smacks the switch on the wall carelessly with the back of his hand to shut off the lights.
This morning he had invited Akane to join him in his room tonight, and the way she smiled gave him hope. Even though they didn't see each other for the rest of the day, and he had to get dinner by himself. He's used to that. He whiled away the time in his room instead of exploring the city, in case she came early, and even waited up for her, but one can play only so many hours of Angry Birds 3 before becoming disenchanted.
It's after midnight. She's probably fast asleep in her own room. He's an idiot.
Fuck, why did he bother? That first night after they escaped the Decision Game, he managed to pull her aside long enough to give her the ring. It wasn't exactly the scenery he wanted, some nondescript hotel in Nevada, in dusty, sweaty clothes they hadn't had time to change. But they had gained memories of several other timelines, and he had given her the ring in at least one of those, so surely she knew. And still, she seemed overjoyed. He was very careful to put it on the correct hand this time, and she laughed and teared up and spent several minutes just standing there, cradled in his arms. After she finished debriefing her brother, she even came back to spend the night with him. It was the happiest Junpei had been in a long time, curled up beside her, even though they were both too exhausted to talk for long.
When he woke up the next morning, she was already gone.
He presses his face deeper into his pillow. Why did he expect anything different? He knew she was going to be busy with Crash Keys' new search. He knew she wasn't the type of person who would drop her work just to spend time with him. He overlooked all that at first because it felt so good just to be included. She inducted him into the organization's security system and secret codes and project files with all the other espers from Dcom, and kept him vaguely informed of what she was doing. They saw each other all the time now. No more chasing after her shadow just for an opportunity to talk.
He thought. But here she is too busy for him, again, and he's going to spend another night alone. He knows that's just the way she is. He loves how passionate she is about her work, how she's built this whole genius organization from the ground up to protect the world, like some sort of superhero. But he can't help the jealousy that rises in his throat, the bitter wish that she would ever be that passionate about him.
The pillow is too hot, and he withdraws his face to breathe better and resists the urge to check his phone again. Hey, he has Carlos's number now. They exchanged contact info for work-related purposes, but they've talked a little since then, and he never seems to mind Junpei's messages. That's just the way Carlos is, too, he knows, but maybe... maybe there's potential...
The mechanical whir and click from the door is loud in the silent room, and Junpei's whole body freezes. He can't bring himself to turn over to look toward the door, and instead tries to convince his heart to start beating normally again. It was obviously opened with a keycard; no one's breaking in. No one's here to kidnap him again. The door shuts quietly, as if someone was guiding it slowly back into the frame, and he hears the bolt snap in place. It has to be Akane.
He should be excited, but the mix of lingering disappointment and sudden fear drowns out any relief he might have felt. He still doesn't turn around as he hears her soft footsteps approach the bed.
"Jumpy?" she whispers. "Are you asleep?"
For a few seconds he considers pretending to be. Just to drive home how late it is. But it's almost as hard to hide things from Akane as it is to get information out of her, so instead he turns over and looks at her with as little emotion as he can muster.
It's not hard, after the last year.
She looks genuinely sorry, at least, for whatever that's worth. She wrings her hands together, standing by the side of the bed, and for a moment Junpei wonders if she's going to say she has something else to do and disappear again. But then he sees her folded nightgown tucked under her arm, and realizes she's waiting for him.
She doesn't know if he still wants her.
He feels a stab of pity and something like guilt, and at the same time a sick kind of satisfaction that she's at his mercy for once, that she recognizes she's done him wrong. But his affection wins out - it always does, with her - and he scoots back and turns the covers down next to him.
Even in the dark he can see her relax, and she places her pajamas on the bed and reaches for the hem of her sweater before hesitating. Junpei wordlessly ducks his head under the comforter and hears her begin to pull her clothes off. She's hardly hidden from view - it would be easy to sneak a peek around the blankets if he wanted. But he's tired, and she would probably notice, through the field if nothing else.
The field. Junpei isn't as in touch with it as Akane is, at least not all the time. He tunes it out most of the day and only taps into it when he needs it. But he knows it's like a sixth sense for Akane, always there at the edge of her mind, and suddenly he wonders if she's been able to feel the disappointment radiating off him. It's a little annoying, how hard it is to hide his emotions from her. But then, he's always had a tendency to wear his heart on his sleeve anyway, and if she didn't know how he felt before, she certainly knows now.
The mattress dips next to him and Junpei resurfaces as Akane settles down and pulls the comforter up around her.
"I'm sorry," she says, lying on her side facing him. "The mission took a lot longer than we expected. Aoi is still going over the data."
Junpei doesn't even know what the mission was, other than that they needed to be in this city for it. Akane tends to give out information on a need-to-know basis, so he's lucky she even told him where she was going, much less let him come along.
"It's okay," he says, though his voice is flat enough that he's sure she doesn't believe it, either.
Akane moves closer to him, shifting down to press her face against his chest. Automatically he wraps his arms around her and buries his nose in her hair. It's a nice feeling, even if it is several hours too late. Akane must be exhausted, too, after being out doing who-knows-what all day; it probably won't be long at all until they both fall asleep.
This isn't really how he imagined the night would go. He didn't expect her to be back before dinner, although it would have been a nice surprise, but he was hoping she would show up in the evening. Maybe just after dark. Anytime before he wanted nothing except to be done with today. If she was here then, he would have been up for almost anything. Going out for drinks, or watching a movie, or putting up the Do Not Disturb sign and helping her "de-stress." Now he feels stupid for having expectations. She probably didn't have any of that in mind, just a bed to sleep in that isn't in her brother's room.
When they decided to put the wedding off until they stopped the fanatic, Junpei was optimistic. He could easily wait a year, even two. They had planning to do, anyway; they haven't talked at all about specifics, except who to invite. (It's become something of a running joke at headquarters that when someone displeases one of them they get uninvited from the wedding, though it only takes a day or two before they're back on the list.)
But lately he's been imagining two years turning into five, this project turning into the next one, and then another beyond that. Always a reason to delay. He had thought at least they would have their engagement to celebrate during the long wait - he's happy enough to be her fiancé, if not her husband - but sometimes he feels like their whole relationship is on an indefinite hold.
He's not asking for the fucking moon. He knows he'll never have all of her time or all of her attention, and that's okay. He just wants to listen to her complain about work over dinner, and fall asleep together in their shared room. Maybe watch some TV and cuddle before bed. Maybe a little more than cuddle. He wants to take her out now and then, and make normal excursions feel like a date. He wants her to be there.
Is she capable of that? Or is half her mind always going to be on some mission, some other timeline, some part of the field?
That fucking field. She probably knows exactly what he's thinking, and suddenly he feels guilty. Even if he does have every right to be mad, it feels wrong to be thinking like that while he's holding her. How long has he been waiting for even this much? He's not going to settle, no, but he can at least appreciate what he has. Who knows when she'll next come back to him, after all.
So he tries to relax, runs his fingers in idle circles between her shoulder blades. Akane has already sunk into the mattress, the tension gone from her back, her body warm against his. Junpei can tell from her breathing that she's still awake, but he's not sure what else to say. It's not as if he has any fun stories about what he did tonight. There wasn't even anything good on the free TV channels.
Suddenly Akane shifts, nuzzling up into his neck. "Junpei," she says, low, and her breath is hot against his skin. "When we leave tomorrow... Can I ride with you?"
Junpei breathes out slowly, and her hair tickles the skin around his lips. He had driven himself here, because they left while he was still working and because he had to transport some extra equipment for Aoi (ostensibly their reason for letting him come). It wasn't that long of a drive, in the grand scheme of things, but it did take them over state lines, and Junpei spent the second half of it flipping through radio stations trying to find something decent to listen to.
"Of course," he says, imagining the disgruntled look on Aoi's face when Akane tells him to take the van back to HQ alone. Well, it's only fair.
He can feel Akane smile against his neck. "We can leave after breakfast. My brother will pack up and follow a little later."
"Maybe we can stop somewhere for lunch on the way back," Junpei suggests. If they drove straight there they could be home in time for lunch, but he'll be damned if he doesn't try to make this last as long as possible. Maybe he'll even drive the speed limit.
Akane yawns. "That would be nice," she mumbles, clearly slipping into sleep already. Junpei shifts his head into a position that's a little more comfortable, suddenly feeling a lot more relaxed himself. He's too tired to hold on to any of his earlier anger, and he falls asleep with a spark of new hope in the back of his mind.
And when he wakes up the next morning, she's still there.