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There’s something about Steve Harrington and the way he loves. Too different from the way Eddie loves in the most beautiful way possible. It drives him a bit insane if he’s being honest.
Barely six months after what Eddie has every right to call The Worst Spring Break Ever and he’s already thinking about the L word. Fuck him.
He supposes there’s something to be said about how trauma turns people tender and harsh. Something to be said about how sometimes other tender and harsh people are the only ones to completely get each other.
It starts easy enough. Or as easy as it can be, taking the world ending into account and all. Stolen glances while planning escapades into the Upside Down. Wandering hands that look for excuses to touch each other while making shitty weapons that won’t really protect them. Teasing nicknames and confused looks all over. Easy.
But then the world didn’t end and Steve Harrignton, all churned looks and devastating smiles, had swooped in.
“Did you mean it? When you called me ‘love’?” Harrington asked, open and vulnerable; like Eddie’s love wasn’t something to be feared.
‘Love’ had always been Eddie’s favorite nickname for him. In part because he could dramatically act like he was some pining Victorian boy after some forbidden maiden. In part because of the prettiest pink that dusted Harrington’s cheeks whenever he used it.
“Uh. Yes?” It was the only answer his adrenaline drunk brain could muster. They had just saved the world and Steve Harrington was looking at him like that. Sue him.
A curt nod. Understanding eyes. A shy smile. Those, in order, were the last things Eddie saw before he felt a tentative kiss against his lips and a hand holding his face with way too much care and adoration for two boys who shared so little time together— but he supposes they also share too much of literally everything else.
It could have probably been ranked in the Worst Kisses Ever. And they may have actually made it pretty far up on that list.
As soon as Eddie felt lips against his, he had immediately gone all in, too much energy being contained by his sole body. And there was Upside Down gunk smeared all over their faces. Harrington gave it his best effort and tried to redirect the kiss but it all became a clank of teeth and cold lips. All in all, a pretty pathetic kiss. It was perfect.
“I’m going to call you ‘my love’ now.” No room for discussion left in Eddie’s voice.
Steve just gave him a small smile and murmured a little ‘yeah’ before kissing him again.
Upside Down spores be damned, if he dies because he kissed the prettiest boy his heart has ever desired so be it.
Then it had turned into holding hands over the driving stick of their respectives cars. Not so secret make out sessions in between Hellfire meetings or in the backroom of Family Video (which miraculously had survived). Giggles exchanged over staring contests. Not easy but not too difficult.
“You ever think about getting out of Hawkins?”
Steve let out a carefree laugh behind the blunt they are sharing, “I sure hope so. If I didn’t have hope I’d make it out of here one day I’d go insane”.
His boyfriend, because now Eddie is the type of person who gets to have nice things like a relationship and real friendships, had paused for a second. “Not till all the kids have graduated and are safe far away from here though, I’d make sure everyone is safe elsewhere and doesn’t need anything here before moving.”
Eddie had just smiled and dragged Steve into a lazy kiss.
Because that statement shouldn’t have felt as devastating as it did.
But Steve’s love is so selfless . It’s all making sure Robin’s food doesn't touch because it drives her crazy, it’s surrendering all his free time for a whole week so he can help the kids build a big ass fortress for enacting their little adventures, it’s taking as many shifts as he can at the emergency center.
Selfless, stupid, endearing Steve Harrington that just keeps on giving while Eddie takes, takes and takes.
That’s all Eddie really does, doesn’t he? He takes and Steve is readily there to give and ask if he wants seconds.
If Steve’s love is selfless in nature, then Eddie loves selfishly. Eddie is all complicated pasts and even more convoluted futures. Eddie is no good for Steve, not worthy and decidedly not good enough. Eddie is all grand gestures so he can make sure he gets as many of Steve’s smiles because of him and for him only. Eddie is all demanding to be held and never ending kisses. Selfish.
The problem here is he does not care.
He doesn’t care how bad he is for Steve or how much he doesn’t deserve him. Does not care. Not one bit.
Eddie wants, wants, wants. And this want fills his being, seeps surely into every tiny crevice of who he is. So he lets himself feel guilty and unworthy all he wants but exactly because he’s such a twisted creature he has no plans of letting go.
If Steve stays in Hawkins, Eddie is going to find a small two-bedroom (one room for Robin or anyone who needs it at the time). If Steve leaves, Eddie will follow him and stay by his side. No questions asked.
“Sometimes I feel like I’m too selfish with you.” Eddie confessed quietly one night, the night that marks the six months together on their calendar.
“Selfish?” Steve asked back, sluggish and spent, tracing lazy symbols into Eddie’s skin.
“Hmmm,” Eddie agreed easily, “I keep telling myself I should let you go so you can find someone who truly deserves you and your future but…”
He took a second to breathe and continued before Steve could protest, “but, I’m not letting you go. I’ll keep loving you and being selfish with you for as long as you’ll have me. You are going to be all mine till you throw me out.”
Steve held his face between battled hardened hands and said, loud and clear: “‘I’ll get it through your thick head someday that you deserve all the good and all the love and most definitely all of me too,” he licked his well kissed lips before continuing. “I’m no good with words but I think it takes a lot of courage to love selfishly.”
Eddie arched a brow, his eyes never leaving Steve’s starry ones.
“Yeah, it takes a lot of fucking courage to love and not let go.”