Chapter Text
Robin Buckley hated Nancy Wheeler, this was an irrefutable, undeniable fact.
Ok, maybe 'hate' was too strong a word, but she definitely disliked Nancy Wheeler for sure. How could she not? Nancy had hurt her best friend, had shattered him, she didn't care. She walked over everything, broke everything without a care in the world. She had ignored Steve straight up when he had told her he loved her. Two days after Hawkins had cracked open, she never bothered to call, not once, never bothered to ask Steve to talk about what he had said to her. Robin had to do everything in her power to physically restrain Steve from calling Nancy, and it wasn't easy. Steve was broken, emotionally and physically. They all were, but Steve had taken Max's coma harder than anyone except maybe Lucas. He felt the need to take the entire burden of guilt at her loss. When he wasn't working or volunteering, he was at her bedside, just talking, saying things that didn't matter, just making sure Max's monitor kept beeping. Most times, he had asked Robin to come with him. She accepted because she knew he didn't want to face Max alone, she knew that because she didn't really want to either. It was mean, maybe, and Robin felt cruel even, but the guilt of Max's coma weighed on her even more than Hawkins cracking open. It wasn't fair. None of it was.
By the end of March, about 50% of the town's population dwindled. Whether it was because of a culmination of events starting with a young boy 'dying' and then coming back to life and ending with gruesome murders that a cult was blamed for, or just the earthquake that destroyed half the buildings and homes, or even both- it didn't matter. Those that could afford to leave had left.
Unfortunately, Robin's family was one of those 'couldn't afford to leave' families. The Sinclairs could leave, but Lucas steadfastly refused to leave Max, who couldn't be moved, and whose mother had gone missing during the 'earthquake.' Dustin's mother could afford to move them, but they had nowhere else to go, and Claudia had listened when Dustin said he didn't want to 'start over,' so they stayed, and obviously, the Byers did too. The Wheelers wanted to move. Karen was the first person to make a scene in front of the Party about wanting to get out of there, but Nancy had gotten into a screaming match with her mother, insisting that she had "barely two months to graduate" and that if she left now, she wouldn't be able to rejoin in a new school. That was the only reason Karen and Ted had decided to keep their family rooted. Robin knew that the second Nancy left for college, her family would leave too, taking Mike with them.
Robin knew she only had two months left too. She had gotten into a few schools but ultimately decided on the University of Southern Indiana since it was basically free for her to attend with all the scholarships. Plus, she would be close to home, to her parents, and to whatever disaster was about to take place in Hawkins.
Plus, Steve was in Hawkins and she couldn't leave him behind. His parents had offered him a choice, he could either move or he could stay in Hawkins and keep the house, it would be his, they would transfer the deed to his name, but they would also never come back to visit. They had barely ever been in Hawkins anyway, and after the earthquake, they realized there was nothing left in the town. If Steve wanted to visit wherever they were, he could, but as far as they were concerned, Hawkins was cursed, and they wanted to stay as far away from it as possible. It was a difficult decision for Steve. On one hand, he hated staying in Hawkins where everyone knew him as the former King Steve, but on the other hand, how could he leave the town now? Especially when anything could happen. He had decided on having the deed to the house transferred to his name. That way, at the end of all of this, he could at least sell it and have some money to leave, and Robin had a feeling he would follow her wherever she went- even if he found someone else first.
Weirdly, Steve had stopped hitting on girls after the Upside Down opened. She wasn't sure if it was because of Nancy, or just the guilt of what had happened to Max and Eddie who had been air carried out of Hawkins with his uncle by the government to a secret location when the doctors in Hawkins had told him there was nothing they could do for him. Robin didn't know the details, but she had put two and two together to come up with the realization that this part of the 'government' were the same people who had been there when the Starcourt mall had burned down and they had been asked to sign NDAs about the Russians and the mind-flayer. (Not that it mattered because who would have believed them anyway?) Robin recognized a few of the same people. She only hoped that people who had spent years studying the Upside Down would have a better way to save Eddie from potentially fatal demo-bat bites. Unfortunately, she never heard from them again, and she had no way to contact his uncle Wayne.
Robin had acted as the unofficial therapist of the group after everything (although she made sure to protect herself from a lawsuit by making sure they knew she didn't have a degree and that if anything went wrong, she couldn't be held responsible). The only person she realized never talked to her from the 'Hawkins Gang' was Nancy Wheeler, who was probably stuck with her tongue down Jonathan's throat too often to do any talking. Ok fine, maybe that was mean, but Robin felt justified in her anger towards Nancy, especially when, with all that was going on, one of the things that Steve had cried about was her. Max, Eddie, the Upside Down, the guilt that Steve carried, and out of all that, Nancy was a reason he had shed tears, and it was unacceptable.
The first couple of days after the Upside Down opened were the worst. Robin refused to leave Steve's side even when the idiot refused to go to the hospital and get his wounds properly checked out. He didn't want anyone looking after him, and according to him, he didn't want to 'make a fuss when people were suffering more.' Robin wanted to smack him over the head but she didn't want to add to his head injuries or his unrelated stupidity. So, Robin stayed with him, and Dustin did too but he wasn't as stuck to Steve's side as she was. The poor kid was taking the loss of Eddie really hard. He couldn't stand not knowing if Eddie was dead or alive and neither Robin nor Steve knew what to say to make him feel better. The only other people who could have taken Eddie's loss as hard as Dustin were Lucas and Mike, but Lucas was very preoccupied with Max, and Mike- well, Robin hadn't spoken to Mike much either so she didn't know, but she doubted he was as broken up over it as Dustin was. That kid loved with his whole heart and not to be mean but Robin doubted any Wheeler could do that.
Surprisingly, Erica was at Steve's side almost non-stop too. She made snarky comments, and she could be mean, but she stayed. She made sure Steve's bandages were clean, she made sure he was drinking enough water ("Dehydration will make your skin look worse than it is, and trust me, you can't afford that. Are you sure you're only 25?" she would ask and Steve would groan and say "I'm only 20, jackass." Robin would berate him for his language but Erica would give a small smile) and made sure he was eating enough.
Finally, his wounds stopped bleeding every time he stretched, or stood, or coughed and Steve couldn't justify staying in bed anymore, not when people were suffering and there were things to be done. Steve couldn't lay by resting when the Hawkins volunteer department needed help. So, Robin, Steve, Dustin, and Erica filed into Hawkins High where volunteers had come together to bring emergency supplies to those in need. Steve had asked Robin to help him scour his house for things he didn't need and they had come up with three boxes worth of his old toys and clothes.
Robin had made fun of Steve, asking why anyone would need so many pairs of jeans but Steve had just shrugged and said, "Hey, it comes in handy now, huh?"
Dustin had made a pun, or at least tried to, by saying "Or leggy, get it? Cause jeans go on legs, not hands?"
Steve rolled his eyes and Erica glared at him, but Robin had at least given him a pity laugh to make the kid feel better.
Then, something happened- ash fell from the sky as it became black, the plants withered and the whole place looked like more of a ghost town than before. No one knew exactly what was happening- no one other than the Party. They recognized the shadow as the mind-flayer, as a spider controlled by Vecna/Henry/001. Robin knew he would come back, but she hoped he wouldn't. Even though his body had gone missing, a part of her hoped he was dead- maybe it was more of a desperate wish than a hope. Now apparently, that possibility had gone out the window, just like Vecna had as Nancy shot him. And even though Robin didn't like Nancy now, even she had to admit that Nancy had been brave in the face of an evil monster. She had shot him relentlessly, not letting him fight back, and sometimes, when Robin had a nightmare, she thought about the way Nancy shot him and it made her feel a little better- even though she hated herself for it.
After the mind flayer had risen, everything was still the same, but also, nothing was the same. It was difficult to explain- the people who had stayed before, were still forced to stay but no one could explain its presence. Eleven was the only one who could face it, and she managed to freeze the flayer, sort of capture it at the moment that it had emerged. El though had made it very clear that this wasn't a permanent solution. It was just to buy them time- the moment Vecna came back after regaining his strength, El knew she wouldn't be able to keep it frozen, and then everyone in town would be in danger.
The military arrived too and tried to go after El, but one look at the mind flayer frozen in the field, and they decided that they should at least listen to them, and the great big cracks that ran through the town made it a little easier to convince them that a 14-year-old child wouldn't be able to commit such gruesome murders. They didn't leave at first though, they wanted to help, (or claimed to want to help), but they just created more fear among the town before realizing that the mind-flayer was actually frozen and that El's powers had done what she wanted them to do. They offered to come back at any sign of Vecna but Joyce, Jim, and the older members of the Party had scoffed in their faces, claiming that they had handled everything by themselves before the military decided to stick their noses in.
Oh, and Jim showing up again- that probably caused the most turned heads throughout Hawkins, even El, Will, and Jonathan seemed genuinely surprised to see him and it struck Robin as odd that Joyce and Murray went to rescue him from Russia apparently and didn't tell the three kids. Robin didn't want to judge Mrs.Byers, she liked her very much, but it seemed a bit irresponsible- even though that wasn't fair because no one could have seen this series of events and Joyce probably didn't want to get her kids' hopes up.
People muttered about the ghost of the head of police coming out of nowhere, but most people had bigger things to worry about, plus chief Hopper tried his best to stay out of everyone's way. He didn't take his position back as chief, but he still decided to work with the police to sort everything out.
Every day was stressful, Robin woke up every day terrified that the mind flayer would choose that day to start moving again which meant that Vecna would officially be back which meant that she would have to fight. Again. And who knew how that would work out?
She woke up in the middle of the night with terrible images. It's not like she didn't have nightmares before the Upside Down, she did- but those were somehow tamer by comparison. She dreamt of Russians, and Steve dying in her arms, and even the mind flayer occasionally, but after the Upside Down? She woke up screaming, covered in sweat begging Vecna not to take Max, begging the bats not to kill her friends, she even dreamt a few times that she was drowning and it was difficult to come up for air.
But so far, the mind-flayer hadn't woken up. The rest of March passed in tension and anxiety. The Party stayed in constant contact with each other and made sure to keep the others updated about their whereabouts at all times. It was difficult at times, but it was important for everyone to know the others were alive. Then April passed by too. It was odd living life with a figure frozen in the sky. The people of Hawkins Indiana had written it off as a shadow- an odd figure that had imprinted in the cloud, just another cursed part of the already cursed town. Again, those who could afford to leave had already left so it's not like the people left behind had a choice other than to stay.
Jonathan had rejoined Hawkins high and Robin tried her best to avoid him. She didn't really like him before, but now? After what Nancy had done to Steve, she liked him even less. He did bring a friend though, a weird stoner kid who had decided to stay behind for some reason. Robin wanted to ask about his parents and how he got away with moving to Indiana from California, but she didn't. Jonathan's weird friend-Argyle his name was apparently- showed up to school with the correct paperwork and announced that he would be graduating with them and Robin didn't feel the need to pry any further. Robin liked him, he was funny and he gave a shit despite being high most of the time, but she didn't spend much time with him because that would have meant interacting with Jonathan which she did not want to do.
Even though Robin didn't pay much attention to Nancy or Jonathan, even she couldn't help but notice that they were barely together these days. Jonathan sat with Argyle at lunch and Nancy was rarely even in the cafeteria which was good for Robin because she didn't know how to explain to Nancy that she was ok never speaking to the journalist again. And even though Robin didn't spend much time with Max before, the school seemed emptier without her- or maybe that was because it was emptier. After all, many students had moved away. Robin was ok with the loss of those obnoxious jerks though, as long as Vickie stayed, which she did.
May passed by too, and it came time for the seniors that year to graduate. The class had gone from like 200 to barely 50, and the school made the difficult decision that year to not hold a ceremony in the 'wake of a great tragedy.' Robin was fine with that. The last thing she wanted anyway was to wear an itchy gown and listen to the principal call out the names of people she didn't even like, standing in hundred-degree heat, and walk across the stage for a piece of paper that proved that she had finished high school. The school mailed the seniors their diplomas, and no one was really in a mood to celebrate either.
Steve had asked Robin if she wanted him to throw a party for at least her and Vickie, but he had asked it so half-heartedly that Robin knew he didn't want to do that. It's not like Robin wanted to celebrate either anyway. The day after graduation, Steve started pulling away from her, not picking up calls or answering his walkie-talkie until she finally rolled her eyes exasperated, and told her that she was only a half-hour drive away and that she would still see him basically every day. He didn't seem totally convinced but at least he stopped ignoring her. She meant to keep her promise to Steve, even if it meant having him move into her dorm with her.
Vickie on the other hand was leaving for New York. She had somehow gotten a job at her ex-boyfriend's father's fashion company and decided to postpone college until she made enough money for it. They weren't particularly rich either. Robin and Vickie weren't officially together, they had shared conversations and stolen glances over March, and then finally kisses over April and May, but they both knew there was a ticking clock on this relationship. They both knew that come August, it would be over, at least for the foreseeable future, so Robin at least tried her best not to get very invested. It wasn't particularly hard actually, not to get invested. And if Robin was being perfectly honest, she was getting... bored of Vickie. They were too similar, too alike, and yet, they had no shared experiences. Vickie talked and talked, but said nothing and Robin couldn't talk, not to her. And Vickie never even seemed to notice.
Eventually, Robin told Dustin and Erica about her own sexuality without outing Vickie. Erica didn't look shocked or impressed. Her reaction was "Well, that still doesn't mean I want to hear about your love life, okay?" but Dustin, Dustin had gone open-mouthed, and then a grin spread across his face. "That's why you and Steve haven't been dating!" he exclaimed. "Ugh, I was starting to think you two were just keeping it from me, but to be fair Steve's not that good of a liar..." The kid had at least smiled for a couple of minutes which was more than Robin had seen him smile in weeks.
If Steve realized that Robin was getting bored of Vickie (which he probably did, he was an idiot but he wasn't completely clueless), he didn't say anything. Robin didn't either. There was so little happiness for any of them anymore, and even though Vickie did ramble, she was at least funny and light, because she didn't know about the Upside Down, and honestly, Robin, wanted to keep that around for as long as she could. The week before she left to college though, she did break up with Vickie but neither of them cried real tears.
Over the summer, the temperatures climbed even for Indiana, and Dustin, Mike, Will, and Lucas had collectively decided that Vecna would not be able to heal over the summer, or at least, not be able to heal as quickly, since as Will had said: "he likes it cold." Also, they had come to the conclusion that Will had some sort of connection with Vecna, but they had not been able to figure out the details. All Robin knew was Dustin, Lucas, and Mike had a conviction to keep their friend safe from a looming threat- one that Will had not raised the alarms for yet.
Turns out they were right because, through summer, there was nothing, no animated mind-flayer, and especially no Vecna coming out of nowhere to suck the eyeballs out of some other traumatized kid (which at this point could have been anyone in the town). Then in August, it was time for Robin to leave. She didn't realize how difficult it was going to be for her to go. She thought it would be much easier for whatever reason (mostly the mind-flayer stuck frozen in the skyline), but it wasn't easy for her to leave at all. She cried and cried because she couldn't bare to leave Steve alone. Even her parents would be fine, they had each other. She was mostly worried about Steve. Especially since Dustin had started pulling away. Dustin kept trying to look for answers and had asked the military where Eddie was when they came to town, but no one had answers for him(none that they were willing to give anyway).
Robin was worried for Steve and even though he tried his best to assure her he would be ok, and that he would keep her to her promise of seeing him almost every day, she still worried about his nights. She worried about who would listen to the Party, who would be there for Steve when he showed up looking terrified half out of his wits at her door in the middle of the night. She worried that he might forget she wasn't there and come by anyway and although her parents were well-accustomed to Steve's night terrors, she worried that they wouldn't be able to take care of him as she did. And finally, she worried about herself- there were the normal anxieties of course. "Will I succeed, will I make friends, what will I major in, how well will I do without my parents?" etc. But now it was more than that. She wasn't really a normal teenager anymore. She had seen more than any teenager outside her friend group did. The only person who would maybe understand was Nancy since Robin was sure that she was going off to school too, but there was no chance that Robin was going to bond over shared trauma with Nancy, no matter what.
And that's how summer vacation ended for her, with Steve at her house all day, helping her do last-minute packing, ensuring she was ok, and suddenly Dustin was there, then Erica and even Will and Eleven showed up. And the six of them sat around in anxious silence and Robin felt her stomach churning because she was no longer sure she wanted to do this. She wanted to stay in the safety of whatever this known moment was rather than the unknown arms of a campus no matter how close by it was. Robin didn't want to leave, but she wasn't sure she wanted to stay either. She just wished that this moment had never come, and yet, here it was. And she had to go.
Dustin took a shaky breath and hugged her. She could tell he didn't want to lose her too but he didn't say any of that. Then Erica, who refused to hug her at first, held out a trembling hand to shake hers, but Robin could tell Erica was trying to hold back tears too. And finally, Steve, who she had talked out of coming with her to help her move in. She knew it would be hard for him to be on campus and she didn't want to do that to him.
She was about to pile into the back of her car with her parents in the front when an entire group of people came by to stop her. A group headed by Lucas Sinclair.
First, Lucas got out of the car, then Mrs. Byers and Chief Hopper who Robin was not expecting, got out, then finally, Nancy and Mike.
Nancy gave her an awkward smile and Robin's stomach turned. She didn't want to see Nancy before going off to college. She had enough on her mind.
"You didn't really think you were leaving without saying goodbye, did you?" Mrs. Byers asked rhetorically, coming over to hug Robin who had gotten out of her car when she saw their car pull in. Mr. and Mrs. Buckley waited patiently in the car.
"I didn't want to make a fuss," Robin muttered lamely but no one wanted to hear it. Robin got an earful from Lucas about how she had said goodbye to his sister but not him, and even Chief Hopper gave her a handshake along with a "be safe kid and know you can contact us whenever you need us." Mike nodded, his eyes wide, Robin knew he would never show emotion, but he said "and we'll let you know if anything changes." They all looked towards the horizon where the Mind-flayer had been frozen so long, and even though they couldn't see it from where Robin lived, a collective shudder still passed through them.
"Seriously," Mrs. Byers nodded. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to contact us. You still have your long-range radio?"
Robin nodded. Ever since Dustin found out she was going to college, he had been working on making her radio long-range too, and even though it wasn't as powerful as Cerebro, she knew it would still work from her University just because Dustin had made it. "I haven't left it more than three feet away since-" she waved at the horizon. "You know."
They all nodded.
Finally, the two adults and two kids piled into the car leaving only Nancy standing around the car with Robin. Robin looked down, determined not to be the first one to make conversation.
"I've um- missed you," Nancy said tentatively, also not looking directly at Robin. Robin didn't reply and Nancy cleared her throat and continued. "You know, around school? Most of my friends left, and even if they stuck around, I don't know how much we would have had to talk about."
Robin understood what Nancy meant, it was exactly how she felt about Vickie, but she was never going to admit that to her.
"Yeah, I've been busy," Robin lied. 'Busy being there for my best friend after you shattered his heart.' But she didn't say that.
"I get that. I've been busy too, I guess. I'm leaving for NYU next week." She let the sentence linger for a moment but Robin didn't take the bait and reply. "I'm thinking journalism, I guess that's obvious with my work at the Hawkin's Post. What about you?"
Robin shrugged, now very aware that they had at least six pairs of eyes on them. "I'm undeclared for now." Robin didn't want to share any more information with Nancy, she didn't even want to be talking to her and Nancy didn't seem to be taking the hint.
Nancy nodded. "Undeclared. That's good, it gives you more freedom to explore options."
Robin raised an eyebrow and crossed her hands and finally, Nancy seemed to understand that Robin didn't want to speak to her anymore. "Did you-" she hesitated. "I mean, is Steve- is he ok?"
Robin's mouth fell open. After all this time, she had been avoiding a one-on-one conversation with him and she was asking Robin, his best friend if he was- ok? How was Robin even supposed to answer that?
Nancy's eyes widened, then she shook her head and looked down. "Never mind," she said quickly. "Stupid question. Of course, I know the answer to that. It's how I feel too. I just was wondering since-" she hesitated again and Robin got the feeling that she was going to admit something about her relationship with Jonathan- something that Robin didn't really want to know about.
"Since what?" Robin asked anyway. As much as she wanted to stop talking to Nancy, as much as she wanted to learn as little as possible about Nancy's life, she was clearly in distress and Robin's therapist instincts kicked in.
"I don't know. Jonathan's been back for five months now, and we haven't really talked. He told me he's not going to college and we had a sort-of fight about that? I don't know, but ever since then, we've been toeing around each other afraid to take a real step. I feel like both of us are too scared to fight considering- everything, so we're sort of at a standstill." Nancy said all of this really fast and Robin got the feeling she had never admitted this to anyone before, maybe not even herself.
Robin felt a jolt of evil glee that Nancy and Jonathan were fighting. 'Good,' a part of her said. 'Why does she get to be happy with Jonathan while Steve's miserable?' But Nancy looked genuinely distressed and that thought quickly fell away.
"Listen, Nancy, I don't know what to say, but tiptoeing around each other isn't going to solve anything. Sometimes talking is the only way out."
Nancy sort of nodded and opened her mouth like she was going to say something else but thought better of it.
"Good luck," she said finally. "And Dustin's given me one of those long-range devices too so you'd better radio in once in a while."
Robin nodded, hoping Nancy wouldn't go in for a hug, knowing that she had no real intention of singling out just Nancy for conversation. Luckily, Nancy seems to sense that Robin didn't want to hug her, and even though a flicker of sadness and longing passed over her eyes, she quickly blinked it away.
Nancy turned to walk back to the Byers' car, but she turned back, halfway and waved to Robin. Robin couldn't help remembering how she had waved to Steve that day at the trailer park after Chrissy had died.
Robin only half-waved back.
She had already said goodbye to Max, promising that she would come to visit whenever she came to town- not that Max would know any different. She wasn't doing any better with signs of life and the doctors were starting to think she would never wake up.
"Permanent brain damage," is what they had said with no real finality. Obviously, they did not know that she had almost been murdered in her mind by a psychopath with powers, but brain damage seemed to be the closest diagnosis to even what El could tell. As each day passed, the hope that she would ever wake up dwindled more and more. That made Robin want to end Vecna even more.
Now though, she had another journey to best, another path to take, and taking Vecna out would have to wait. Months of planning and exhausting every other option had left them to meet them on Vecna's battlefield. There was no way to find him- no way to get to the Upside Down even. The gates had shielded themselves off the moment that a very exhausted Steve, Nancy, and Robin managed to pull Eddie out of the pit. If it were up to them, they would have gone back down to the Upside Down Creel house and chopped off Vecna's head (which was what they should have done in the first place but fear of getting too close to him got in the way) a day later once they had some strength back. That's probably why Vecna closed off all the gates- he was fooled once into being attacked while being lulled into a false sense of security while attacking Max. He must have known that if they could get to him again, this time they would finish the job.
Finally, with one last look at her house, the home she had grown up in, she got in the car and allowed her parents to pull out of the driveway and into her future.