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Kris shoots awake, rolling out of bed and landing face down on the floor. After a muffled groan of pain, they push themselves off the floor and walk to the center of the room. They hold their hand high in the air for a moment, flexing their fingers slowly before they bury their hand into their chest. They scream a silent scream of pain as they tear out the bright, heart shaped SOUL wedged within. They hold it aloft as it shimmers white for a second.
But only a second.
Kris tosses the red SOUL with all their might into the birdcage sitting in the corner of the room. It clanks against the cage's rusty metal bars, closing the door with a clink.
The SOUL struggles uselessly as Kris takes a moment to catch their breath. After a few tense moments of silence apart from the quiet rattling of the SOUL crashing against the cage, Kris breathes a sigh of relief.
They are free. For now.
Their plan can finally get underway. They crave justice and retribution after all this time.
They pull their phone out of their pocket and quickly scroll past their mother's many calls and finally select the number they need and hit call.
The phone rings for a few moments before a voice barks out from the other end.
"What the fuck dude, it's like 6 AM! What do you want?!" Susie's voice angrily shouts from the phone's speaker.
"It's time for Plan B(1)." They respond, unphased by Susie's outburst.
"Oh shit, really?" Susie says, her tone having completely shifted. "Now? Are you sure?"
"Hmm hmm."
"Damn, alright." She relents. "I'll go to Castle Town, tell Ralsei and then I'll meet you at the place we agreed. Sound good?"
"Yeah." They reply. "I'll scout out the area. Hopefully my mom doesn't notice I'm gone."
"Aight. Good luck."
"Ditto." They say before disconnecting the call.
Kris shambles towards the door, giving one last glance towards the SOUL rattling the birdcage. It hurts to go without it, but it's what needs to be done. The soul would never let them do something so reckless and, frankly, stupid. At least they know they have enough time while Susie's getting Ralsei.
They quietly manage to creep out of their house without waking Toriel. They look around and see that there's no one around. They feel relief bloom in their chest, though it shouldn't have been surprising. After all, the sun hasn't even risen yet. They slowly shamble down the street, towards their target. It's not too far, now, they must've underestimated their own capabilities. Maybe they can do more without their soul than they realize…
"Well, well, well, parry my forward smash and throw me off the stage," an annoyingly familiar voice squawks from behind them, "Is that Kris Dreemurr? Up so early? " They turn around with a scowl. Berdly.
"Why are you here?" They manage to groan.
Berdly scoffs self-righteously and turns up his beak. "I'm just going to school! I must arrive ahead of schedule to be properly prepared for academia! You know what they say, the early bird gets the best grades!" He snorts annoyingly. "Not like you would know! After all, you're probably only up to partake in illicit activities like licking books at the library or cheating at 20 year old fighting games! Tsk, tsk, how disappointing, Kris. You are so cool…ose to matching me in class!!!! Ha, ha, yes! That's what I meant to say! You see, highly reputable studies show that students who arrive on time are bound to get better grades than truants! Ah, but I can hear your questions now! 'Oh, mighty super lord Berdly, how do you manage to find time to be a totally super duper epic pro Fortnite gamer?' It's ridiculously simple, my small minded friend! I simply game at night! You know what they say, sleep is for the week. So I just drink 3 cans of 5-Hour Energy to keep me awake and energized for the rest of the day. It's the perfect plan!"
Kris barely holds back a groan. They do not have the energy to deal with Berdly right now and knowing him, he's going to be hounding (birding?) them for the rest of their journey and he'll probably get in the way of the plan. Kris needs to figure out a way to shut him up.
"You see these dark bags under my eyes? They're the marks of a GAMER GOD. Heh, jealous, Kris? I can see you coming closer, you must be so enamored by them you want a closer look. Well as your humble flightless friend, I will gladly bow down and let you observe to your heart's conte-"
Before Berdly could finish talking, Kris grabs him by the collar and pulls him in, placing a kiss on his beak. After just a moment, they pull away and push Berdly back to his previous position.
"Wh-I-Pard-Wha-Why-" Berdly stammers and stumbles over himself as his hands dart all around. After a moment, he goes quiet and stiff, eyes wide and locked on the floor, his mouth agape and shuttering.
Well now I know how to shut him up. Kris thinks, ignoring the way their heartbeat was racing. They resume their trek, pushing all those conflicting feelings behind them.
As the orange building comes into view, they can see Susie already leaning onto the wall. Though the way she was leaning was very unusual, at least for her. It feels much limper, less rigid and sturdy, and instead of having her arms crossed, they hang weakly at her sides. She’s looking up at the sky, so she doesn’t notice them as they walk up to her.
“Susie?” She indolently turns to face Kris. Her eyes are bright red and look hazy and lost.
“Oh. Hey Kris.” She droles. “I went to Castle Town. To get Ralsei. And he had this siiick item.” She sticks her hand into her jacket’s pocket and pulls out the largest blunt Kris had ever laid eyes on. The most humongous doobie in the history of the green gonja. The filthiest foogie fathummy of humanity. “So, you know, I uuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…”
“How high are you?” Kris asks.
“What?”
“How high are you?” Kris repeats. “How much did you smoke?”
“Oh.” Susie says. “Hi.” Kris facepalms.
“You should give it a try.” She suggests as she holds it out for them. “ ¿ Quieres?”
“Not now.” They reply. “We have a job to do. Did you get Ralsei?”
“Oh yeah.” Susie digs around the same pocket she had just dredged the blunt from before pulling out a jet black 35 mm glock brand pistol. “Here he is.”
“Susie.”
“Yeah?”
“That’s a jet black 35 mm glock brand pistol.”
“No, it’s Ralsei.” She points to the tip of the gun. “See? It’s got his hat.”
Despite their better judgment, they lean in closer to the nozzle of the pistol and squint. Sure enough, right on the edge of the gun sat a small green hat with small horns poking out.
“Huh.”
“So are we like… going to do the thing or…”
“Yeah, yeah. Just give me the gun, I don’t trust you with it.”
“Yeah, whatever, dude.” She hands them the Ralsei gun. “He wouldn’t stop asking for you when I was in Castle Town, anyway.”
As soon as Kris grabs the gun, they hear a voice from somewhere. “Oh, Kris! It’s so very nice to be here in the light world with you! I can’t wait to make some more friends! Castle Town cam get so drab sometimes, ha ha. It's ever so wonderful to finally explore your world in my true form. And… It feels so nice being held by you, too…”
Kris shoves the gun back into Susie’s hands. “I changed my mind. You can have him.”
“Sweeeet. So uh. What’s the plan now? Do we just kick down the door? There doesn’t seem to be anyone here yet.” Kris looks at the door to the store, noticing the sign with ‘closed’ written in comic sans.
“Ugh.” Kris groans as they lean against the wall. “The store was supposed to be open by now. I should’ve expected this from that lazy bag of bones.” They sigh. “I guess we’ll just wait for him out here.”
“Uh, Kris…” Susie hesitantly begins. “I know I’m totally zooted out of my mind right now, but is it just me or does the sign say ‘open’ now?”
Kris snaps their head around so fast it makes a cracking sound. Sure enough, the sign had somehow been flipped while they were turned around.
“What the-? Whatever. Let’s just go already.”
“Ooooh, do I get to kick down the door?” Susie excitedly asks.
“Hell yeah you do!” Kris says with a devilish smirk spread across their face.
“FUCK YEAH!” Susie rears her leg back overdramatically. “SUSIE… KICK!!” Susie’s leg rockets through the air, but before she can hit the door, it somehow opens by itself, causing Susie to lose her balance and fall on her butt.
“Ow.” Susie grunts. “That sucked.”
“He’s messing with us.” Kris states, their teeth clenched angrily. They hold their arm out to Susie. “Come on, let’s finish this.” Susie grabs Kris’ arm and pushes herself off the ground unsteadily, the fall and the weed leaving her somewhat disoriented.
The two teens give each other one last look before stepping into the dark supermarket. A shadowy figure is sitting at the cash register, waiting patiently.
“sup.”
Before anyone can respond, there’s a squeaking noise coming from between the two kids (and their fluffy gun). Kris looks down at the source of the noise and sees a familiar red wagon, carrying the red SOUL that illuminates the room, rolling between into the store. There’s a beat of dazed silence.
“Is that SANS UNDERTALE?!” The SOUL suddenly yells. Susie screams in fear and quickly shoots the soul with the Ralsei gun and kicks the wagon as hard as she can. It flies over a few houses and vanishes into the horizon.
Well that could be a problem. Kris thinks.
Susie quickly turns back to Kris. “Shit, sorry. Trigger finger.”
“welp. that just happened.” Sans says nonchalantly, as if he hadn't just witnessed a purple dino girl kick a wagon with a birdcage with a human SOUL inside past the horizon. “if you kids want to buy anything, i’m afraid i’m still busy cleanin’ the store. y’know janitor duties.”
“Susie.” Kris calls out, their tone serious. “Hand me the jet black 35 mm glock brand Ralsei pistol.”
“Whatever you say, dude.” She says, tossing the pistol into their hand.
“Oh, Kris! It’s nice to see you again! Feel free to be as rough with me as you want when pulling the trigger! I don’t mind!” Ralsei gleefully explains. Kris scowls but elects to ignore him and points the gun up at the skeleton behind the register.
“SANS UNDERTALE!” They shout with all their remaining energy. “THIS IS FOR FUCKING MY MOTHER!”
They fire the gun, the sound reverberates through their brain and the recoil makes them close their eyes. When they pry them open again, Sans is gone.
“hold your horses, you don’t even know the full story yet.” The familiar monotone voice of the big boned skeleton rings out from behind the two kids, somehow managing to sound remarkably threatening despite its flatness. Kris quickly turns around and attempts to fire again but is only met with a hollow click.
“Oh, sorry Kris.” Ralsei’s voice rings out. “I should have told you, but I only had two rounds in me. Looks like I can’t help you any more from here.”
Kris’ face falls in fear. They look at Susie, who seems entirely discombobulated from everything. She probably thinks this is all just the weed. They turn back to Sans, who stands menacingly in the middle of the road, the rising sun covering him in shadow. His eye sockets suddenly look like dark voids, his eyelights nowhere to be seen.
Kris is just barely able to hold themselves together enough not to crumble under their own weight, fighting to keep their legs from wobbling too much. Their eyes quickly dart between Susie and Ralsei and back to Sans. Their breathing was erratic and they were just barely able to force out a response.
"W-Well spit it out, then." They stutter. " What else is there for me to know?"
“i fucked your dad, too.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” They shout as they finally fall to their knees, their face contorting with pain and defeat.
“what can I say, they don’t call it a boner for nothing.” rimshot.sfx