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If induction was a vortex, then the graduation portal was a maelstrom. Howling cosmic winds pounded me from all sides as I was ripped through the ether, squeezing through the fabric of the world with all the violence four years of magical interest could yield. The screams I couldn't have even hoped to suppress were crushed back into my throat by the pressure of the portal, suffocating me with my own agony.
Then, just as suddenly as it had started, it stopped. My feet hit solid ground, sending spikes of pain up into my locked knees, and burning white seared across my eyes, blinding me. The scream that had been caught in my throat ripped free, ragged and raw, and I couldn't stop it from pouring out of me.
I didn't even want to.
My body heaved, sending me crashing to my knees as my stomached wretched violently, emptying itself of everything I had eaten in the last three days. My vision was still swimming, my back hopelessly exposed, but all I could think was Orion. OrionOrionOrionOrion.
Suddenly cool hands were on my forehead, smoothing away the wild pieces of hair that had slipped free from my plait. The smell of rosemary and mint filled my nose, covering the sour stench of vomit, and the rippling wave of my mother's healing swept through me, finding every raw and bruised and sick part of me and smoothing it away just like her hands did my hair.
Every part but my heart.
“My girl, my darling girl. Hush, you're safe, you're safe now, it's over.” Her voice sounded exactly like I had remembered it, in those five minutes a day I gave myself to think of her.
But she was wrong, so wrong that my stomach heaved again in rebellion. Because it wasn't over. Not yet. Because Orion –
“Phone,” I croaked, forcing the word out of my burning, abused throat as I pushed myself upright, staggering and blinking. “I-I need to get to a phone...”
Mum – my mum, my wonderful, amazing, brilliant mum, standing in front of me in the flesh, just the same as I had pictured her all these years, held close to my heart and leaned on when I needed comfort, wisdom, guidance, or strength – fumbled in her pocket and pulled out a small, scuffed cellphone, her blue eyes so warm and earnest that I almost couldn't hold back the tears burning in my eyes.
“I borrowed one from a lady in town, in case you wanted to call anyone,” she said, pressing it into my hand, and I almost started to laugh hysterically. Only my mum would have ever believed that her rainstorm of a daughter would actually end up with the types of friends that you called after graduation. But I had, and I had never been so grateful for my mother's unwavering faith in me as I was in that moment.
Grabbing the phone, I all but ripped the sutras off my back, handling them with less care than I ever had before as I pulled the thin piece of paper with everyone's phone numbers from between the pages and dialed the one I thought I would never use.
Chloe picked up on the first ring. “Hello? El, El is that you?”
The choking mass of grief that had been so briefly pushed back by the sight of my mum came rushing back at the sound of her voice, all of the too fresh memories of the graduation hall – of Orion – swooping in to smother me once more.
“Orion – ” My voice broke on his name and I felt a tear slip down my cheek. But she had to know, they had to know. Because we were going to save him. We had to save him... “Orion, he – ”
“Oh my god, El, El! Hold on, hold on, let me get – ” Static-y rustling crackled across the phone even as I tried to choke the words 'he stayed' out passed the suffocating lump in my throat. Distantly I could feel my rage howling, screaming promises of death and destruction, promises to bring the whole Scholomance down on top of Orion's thick, miserable head, monstrous maw-mouth and endless void be damned. But it was far away, locked outside the agonizing hollowness in my chest.
“He... he... Chloe, he – ”
“El?”
I froze. Every muscle in my body went tight, and my lungs refused to draw in air.
“El, are you there?” The voice was thin and tinny, distorted by the thousands of miles between Wales and New York. But it didn't matter. I knew that voice, would have known it even in the depth of the void itself.
“Orion...”
“Yeah,” he replied, and I could hear the smile in his voice, that stupid, lopsided, awkward, brilliant smile that did things to my heart that I would deny until I was blue in the face. “Yeah, El, it's me.”
“But – But you stayed! You stayed to fight Patience like the idiotic hero that you are, and...” I trailed off, unable to think of any other scenario. He was Orion Lake, unflinching noble fool with the survival instincts of a lemming. He had never chosen to turn his back on a fight.
“I – I though about it,” Orion admitted, his voice soft. “I almost did. But... I want something different, now.”
All of the air left my lungs, punched out of me in a gasp that was almost wounded. I saw my mum shift out of the corner of my eye, but it was lost under the crushing weight of what Orion had said.
He wanted something different.
He had chosen something different.
The realization crashed over me in a wave, and I couldn't speak, all of the emotions in my throat choking off the words.
But Orion knew.
“Get to the gateway. I'm coming to you.” Then the line went dead and I was left clutching the dark phone like a lifeline.
“El? Darling, is everything alright?” My mum's face was pinched, her hands reaching out to me, arms open and waiting, just as they had been all my life.
I swallowed. “Yeah. Yeah, Mum, it is.”
Then I collapsed into her arms and began to sob.
The gateway to the Trans Atlantic Highway was only a short train ride from the town near the commune, and I spent it telling Mum about Aadhya and Liu and Chloe, about my freshmen and Precious and the sutras. I didn't talk about the graduation – the last graduation – or the maw-mouth or the enclave war that had almost started within the walls of the school itself. She knew, of course, knew that I was leaving wide holes in my recounting, but she didn't push me, and I was painfully grateful. Instead I told her about Aadhya's hugs and Liu's good heart and Chloe's generosity. I told her about snack bar runs and the mice's antics and adding to the mural on Chloe's wall.
“And Orion?” Mum prompted gently when I reached the end of another story, her blue eyes soft and knowing. The sound of his name made my heart stutter in my chest and my throat tighten with a hundred emotions I barely knew how to name.
“He – I – He's... important. So important to me, Mum. I – I don't...” I trailed off, clenching my fists in frustration.
“Shh, darling, it's alright,” my mum soothed, laying one hand over mine and squeezing gently, her eyes heavy with understanding. “He will be with us soon. So tell me more about the others instead. You said Aadhya in an artificer?”
“Yeah,” I replied, then launched into describing the siren spider lute Aadhya had made with warm pride. But I also opened my hand and threaded my fingers with hers, squeezing gently, chest warm with gratitude. Mum squeezed back, her face full of understanding, and the wave of love for her that swept through me made me blink rapidly.
I couldn't talk about Orion. Not yet.
The gateway was tucked away in a small building that was warded so that mundanes' eyes slid right passed it. My heart was hammering in my throat as we approached the door and I had the wild urge to flee. But Mum's hand was wrapped around mine, small and warm and firm, and that gave me the strength to step across the threshold.
The room wasn't empty, but the few wizards standing inside did little more than flick their eyes over to glance at us before returning to their books and phones. I let out a shaky breath, then squared my shoulders and marched over to the softly glowing board listing arrival times and departures.
I didn't even have a chance to read it, however, before the portal started to appear. It was so similar to the graduation portal that for a moment I was back in the hall, fear beating against my skull and the torrent of mals rushing passed me. But then Mum squeezed my hand, anchoring me, and I was able to push the memories back, focusing instead on the shapes starting to appear.
First was on older man in a suit, then a middle-aged woman with a bag. Two slightly younger women came after her, their hands linked, then a man with a shining white beard and bald head followed quickly by a smiling woman who was probably his wife.
No one else came after her, and I felt my heart begin to sink. Of course he wouldn't come. He was the Domina's son, the prize jewel of New York. No way would they let him walk out the door to chase after a loser indie girl from halfway around the world. I had gotten too used to Aadhya and Liu, too used to the Scholomance, too used to being valued. But we were on the outside now, back in the world, and reality meant that Orion –
– was there.
Suddenly, with none of the slow materialization of the other travelers, Orion Lake was standing on the gate platform, the portal all but snapping shut on his heels. His hair was wild, as if he had been running his hands through it, and his clothes were askew and looked a size too small.
But that didn't matter. None of it mattered. Because he was here, whole and real and alive, his eyes sweeping rapidly across the room until they landed on me.
For a moment neither one of us moved. Then my mum nudged me slightly, and I was walking forwards, body moving automatically. Orion did the same, his face splitting into the stupid, goofy, beautiful smile as he came towards me. He reached out, arms open, and I stepped into him, putting my hands almost hesitantly on his chest, my breath catching as I felt the strong, racing beat of his heart beneath my palm.
And then I shoved him for all I was worth.
“Lake, you utter bastard! You pig-headed, idiotic, wood-brained – I ought to beat you to death with your own femur, you suicidal lemming! I ought to string you up by your intestines and let cheyenas gnaw on your toes while I tap dance along your spine and – ”
The rest of my tirade was lost in the warm solid muscle of his shoulder when Orion, eyes so terrifyingly soft and starry that I almost wanted to run, wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a tight embrace.
“I love you,” he murmured, pressing the side of his head against mine, so every soft, warm word was terrifyingly, beautifully clear. “I love you so much, El. I'm sorry I scared you.”
“Scared me?” I choked out, a hysterical laugh slipping from my throat. “Orion, you terrified me. I thought – I thought – ”
“I know,” Orion whispered, squeezing me even tighter, and I dug my fingers into the broad, quivering muscles of his back, half convinced that at any moment he was going to be snatched away from me. “I'm sorry. I love you, El. And when I watched you disappear through the portal... I want to be with you, El. Every step of the way, I want to be by your side. I want to travel the world and help you build your enclaves and...” He trailed off, then pulled back slightly, looking down at me intently. “So I'm asking. I'm asking, El.”
It was ridiculous. He was ridiculous, and so was I, because my heart was pounding in my chest so hard that I was probably going to fall over, and everyone was staring at us, including my mother...
And it didn't matter one bit. Because Orion was here. He was here and alive and looking at me with so much love that I should have been running for the hills. But instead I kissed him, pouring everything that had been building in my chest – in my heart – over the last year into that press of lips.
“Yes,” I whispered, not even bothering to break the kiss, so the words were spoken against his warm, slightly chapped lips. “Yes.”
For a moment Orion was frozen. Then he was kissing me back, practically lifting me up into the air with his enthusiasm, and I was laughing and so was he, but we hadn't pulled away from each other, so the laughter became part of the kiss, and I knew we were making fools of ourselves, but I just didn't care. We were out of the Scholomance. We were free. Mals wouldn't hunt us, wouldn't hunt any of us, and even if they did, I had the sutras. I could build enclaves, enough enclaves for every wizard child. And Orion would be with me, every step of the way.
I pulled back, grinning up at him. “Come meet my mum.”