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Zoro loved his watch shifts, as odd as it sounded coming from someone who loved sleeping. Having the stars above his head, lighting his way towards the dark unknown, always made him feel inspired. It helped him to see that the world was too big and that he was too small. It made him wonder about their next adventure, the next friend they would make and the next enemy they would defeat. It was lonely to be there, though. Not that he wasn’t used to it but–– but after Luffy entered his life, having another’s company became important.
He didn’t speak much, although he was a good listener. He heard his nakamas stories and stored them in his brain, bringing the topics back once he was alone with the respective parts. Zoro would never forget Sanji’s shocked expression when he mentioned something he said months ago about a type of fish, sheepish smiling after finding out that he was remembered.
People used to have the wrong image about Zoro, thinking that just because he was reserved it meant that he didn’t care. Yet he did – maybe more than he should. He already spent too many years having his own shadow as his friend, so he knew better than to depreciate his new reality with people who cared about him. They might be a bunch of crazy idiots led by an equally insane captain, but they were great. They knew how to treat human beings like humans, something that should be a must, but which unfortunately wasn’t.
It was rare to be respected these days. With that being said, it was a miracle that Zoro found pirates who held no judgement in their hearts, accepting everyone as who they were. Not the outcome he predicted when he first met Luffy in Shell Island, since he thought that he would just be used as a tool for his captain to reach his goal. Having a huge family, with stronger ties than the ones created by blood, was a future Zoro would never predict. That was so unusual and eccentric to the point of being funny. Still, he was deeply glad that it ended up this way.
In the midst of this peaceful atmosphere, Zoro heard footsteps. A perfect balance between quiet and fast, which could only belong to their elusive thief. Nami stopped behind him. He could feel her focused stare on his head, as if she was waiting for him to say something. He wouldn’t. He wasn’t the type of guy who knew what to say in a moment of distress like Sanji did.
“You can sit.” Zoro said, moving a little to leave some space for her to lay her back on the mast. Nami looked down, at his swords on the opposite side, and sat.
Nami started fidgeting with her shoes. Sometimes she looked at Zoro with the corner of her eyes, while he pretended he didn’t notice it.
“You’re not going to say anything?” Nami asked, laying her head on his shoulder. Zoro hummed. “Why?” She didn’t sound angry, but curious. “Why not?”
“Don’t you think you’re the one who wants to talk?” He retorted, crossing his arms. She leaned more on his shoulder. “Why don’t you go see the cook? I’m sure he’ll gladly wake up at three in the morning to help you.”
It seemed that he was being sarcastic, but he wasn’t. Sanji would wake up in the middle of night for her and would love it. Nami, regardless of knowing that, sighed.
“He wouldn’t understand it. He wouldn’t understand me.”
“Oh? Is that so?”
Zoro got the point she wanted to make, therefore, he gave her space. He wouldn’t press it, knowing that it was too personal. Knowing that Nami didn’t like to open up easily. She was like him in some way. Hiding feelings as a way to protect itself was a trait shared by both of them.
So, if Nami was here, with him from all the others, it could only mean one thing.
“I…” She sobbed, searching for any part of his body that she could grab. In this case, the hand being covered by his forearm. “I bathed with Vivi today.”
Yeah, just what he was expecting.
Zoro undid his posture so he could hold her thin, cold hand firmly.
“You know I don’t mind when people look. It’s normal at this point.” She said, squeezing it slightly. “But, Zoro–– she looked at me with disgust. It was quick, and she already apologized to me, but it… it hurt so much, god.”
It was hard to not visualize the scene without getting mad over it. Only he knew how much Nami was craving for a girl’s company, for a female friend who would understand certain things that the rest of the crew, as a bunch of guys, wouldn’t. When Vivi appeared in the picture, Zoro saw a side of Nami that he had never seen before. She became protective over the princess rather quickly and clearly treated her in a different, sweeter way. He was happy for Nami for finding alleviation when they were about to fight for a whole kingdom.
Zoro wasn’t particularly fond of hitting women. He didn’t think they couldn’t handle a fight, it was quite the opposite, he knew they were good as hell as fighters. But, they usually had to face emotional battles more than men did. He would never forgive himself if he cut a Mother, for example, knowing that she already had to give all of herself to raise her children. Yet, in this case, he wouldn’t mind giving Vivi a smack in the head. The last she could’ve done was hide whatever she was feeling for the sake of her friend. She didn’t even do that.
And now Nami was suffering. Even if Vivi apologized, he knew their navigator would think of it for days. Hell, Zoro wasn’t even sure if she would bath with Vivi ever again.
“I don’t care when those bad stares come from strangers.” Nami continued after a while. Her hand was so cold. Zoro decided to grab it with both hands to warm it up. “But when a person I like does that… I don’t know. I’ve cried five times today, can you believe it? I haven’t done that since Arlong.”
Zoro started circling her skin with his thumb, looking up at the moon. “If crying helps, then do it.” He avouched, remembering the few times he did it in the past. “Don’t you dare follow my steps. Just because I don’t like crying it doesn’t mean I don’t recognize the importance of it.”
Nami looked reluctant, not expecting that coming from Zoro, but nodded. “Have you ever been through this?”
“Of course.” Zoro scoffed when a particular blue haired girl showed up in his mind. “Ironically, with the person who made me who I am now.” He finished by looking at Wado Ichimonji resting closer to him compared to the other two swords.
“Kuina?” Nami asked carefully, licking her pale lips, as if this name was a forbidden word. Maybe it was. Zoro let out a hum that comproved it. “How? As far as I know, you two were close. You even told me you’d marry her if…”
The sentence stopped there. None of them needed it to be concluded in a time like this.
“Yeah.” Zoro shifted his posture, opening himself more. Somehow, Nami ended up leaning on his chest in a half hug. Her hands were cold, but her body was warm. “She didn’t reject me, but I know she didn’t understand me. Kuina made it clear a bunch of times that she thought I was ‘dressing up as a man’ because I, too, believed that a woman could never be a swordsman.”
Zoro felt a thick, round lump forming in his throat. Still, talking about this was a little relieving.
“I’d felt so angry, frustrated and sad at the time. I did my best to make her see me for who I am and not the wrong idea she had about me.” He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. “But alas, she only recognized me as a boy a day before her death. It was during our most important and last duel. I’ve gained and lost too much that night.”
When Nami began rubbing her hand on his chest, he didn’t know. But it was comforting. It helped him to calm down and keep his tears inside his eyes.
“Life is a bitch.” Nami blurted.
“Life is a bitch.” Zoro parroted with an empty smile.
Zoro opened his eyes again, while Nami lifted her head to see him. There were so many unspoken words between the two. A mutual understanding of each other’s pain, a deep sense of empathy that could only be created by those who went through the same thing. Zoro understood Nami, and Nami understood him.
Zoro might have strong ties with the rest of the crew, but he and Nami had a different bond that no one else could ever comprehend: They shared the same scars.
Gradually, tears streamed from Nami’s eyes as her expression twisted into one of suffering. Zoro fully embraced her in a matter of seconds.
Nothing more was added to the conversation, because nothing more needed to be said. Now, they should let the sadness overflow through tears, and the commiseration to be conveyed through physical contact.
‘I’m glad I’ve met you’, Zoro whispered after a long hour, when he was sure that Nami was sleeping, and continued his duty while embracing a girl he began to love a ton.
However, he was wrong. Nami wasn’t sleeping. And, at dawn, when Zoro was indeed passed out after staying awake during the whole night, she placed a kiss on his cheek.
‘Me too’, she muttered.