Chapter Text
THE END
September 5, 2017
M A T E O
8:41 p.m.
I wake up feeling invincible. I don’t check the time because I don’t want anything to chatter my survivor spirit. In my head, I’m already in another day. I have beat Death-Cast’s prediction. I kiss Rufus’ forehead and watch him resting. Nervous, I reach for his heart, and I’m relieved it is still beating: he’s invincible too.
I climb over Rufus, and I bet he would kill me himself if he caught me leaving our safe island, but I want to introduce him to Dad. I leave the room to go to the kitchen to prepare some tea for us. I set the pot over the stove’s burner and check the cabinets for tea selections and decide on peppermint.
When I reach for the burner, I hear a sound behind me. My heart sinks. Did I forget to lock the doors? Did someone break in? I did lock the doors, didn’t I? I’m sure I did, but… Did I really? I’m not sure anymore. Maybe I didn’t. I didn’t lock the doors and now a burglar broke into my apartment… I’m going to die. First the burglar is going to kill me. And if he goes to look around the apartment, he’s going to find Rufus. I screwed up.
There is a hand on my shoulder. My heart stops completely.
“Come back to bed you traitor. You’re going to get both of us killed.”
I remember how to breathe again. It’s Rufus. He caught me. And maybe it’s better that way…
R U F U S
8:45 p.m.
I tug at Mateo’s arm to get him back to bed. We said we wouldn’t leave it. And he did what exactly? He left it. I’m not mad because I just know he wanted to do something sweet. The boy who buried dead birds, the boy who made me feel alive today, the boy that I grew to love in less than twenty-four hours.
“Come on, I don’t wanna go yet. I don’t wanna die. We’ve made it for twenty hours. I won’t let us die before it’s midnight. Death-Cast can drag us out of here if they want us that much.” He’s resisting my tugs. I turn back and look into his paper-white face. My heart skips a beat. What is happening? “Mateo? You good?”
“I could have killed us both…”
“I said it as some kind of joke. Mateo, I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” I touch his cheek to try and calm him. His pulse under my thumb is going wild.
“You don’t understand. The burner on the stove is broken. If I… I could have burned the whole house down. I could have killed us!” He’s shaking like a leaf in the wind as I pull him into my arms and down onto the ground. We sit on the cold wood while I stroke his hair.
“Breathe, Mateo. Breathe. You’re good. You’re alive. I’m alive. Nothing can hurt us. And we won’t use the stove today. I’ll remember it for you. Is anything else broken that I should know of?” He shakes his head on my chest. I press a kiss on top of his hair.
We need some time to cool down again. And that wouldn’t be an issue if we had time. But now every second ticking by feels like we’re losing something. I feel him try to calm down under my hands.
“What do you want to do now? Do you want to go back to bed?” He considers the options for a few seconds.
“I wanted to introduce you to my dad. But now I don’t really know if we’ll make it in time.” We take a look at the clock. There is less than three hours left for us. Damn…
“If you really want us to go, we’ll go. If you’d rather stay here, we’ll go back to bed.” He’s still contemplating.
“I really want us to go. I want Dad to know you. I want him to know who I was with when I died. I want him to know that I was happy.”
“That’s good with me.” I pull him up from the floor. “Let’s get going.”
I can see how his fingers shake, as he pulls on his shoes. This morning, he couldn’t leave the house because he was too scared, he would die out there. This morning he still had at most twenty hours left. Now we only have about three hours. If not less. I can’t imagine what he must be thinking now.
I grab his hand and squeeze it hard. We will make it to his father. Whatever happens after that is none of our concerns now.
“Let’s go.”
M A T E O
9:32 p.m.
I can’t even remember how we got to the hospital. The way there was incredibly stressful. Even Rufus flinched at every little sound. He tried to hide it to make me feel safer. It didn’t really help, but it made my chest feel warm. We stopped at every car that passed us, almost expecting that there would be a drive-by-shooting. We passed an alleyway and heard the clinking of glass. My heart dropped. I thought I could just faint right then and there at the spot. Rufus pulled me behind him, as if he really thought he could get me a few more minutes by protecting me. I wanted to yell at him because he isn’t allowed to die yet. Not before we got to my dad. I wanted to cry in relief when a cat passed us. It was just a cat… Thank God.
I have never been to the hospital that late. All the staff looked unknown to me. Somehow, they allowed us to see my father. In some strange way I expected him to sit in his bed, look at the photo I left behind earlier and smile when we enter.
But that doesn’t happen. I push the door open, and he still lies there. The exact way we have left him. I could have known. Why should he wake up on my death day? In my last few hours? Conveniences like that don’t happen. That would be fair. And looking at Rufus and me, our fate hanging just above our heads – life isn’t fair.
“Hey Dad.” I sit on the bed next to him. I see Rufus hesitate. He lingers at the door, as if he’s thinking whether or not he should leave or approach. “I want to introduce someone to you.” I reach my hand back to Rufus and he takes hold of my fingers. He follows the pull to my side. Suddenly I can’t speak. I want to tell Dad about Rufus, how he saved me today, how I love him, how I wish for more days with him by my side, how I can’t wait for him to wake up and meet Rufus. My throat closes on me. I feel like I can’t breathe. There won’t be any more days with Rufus. Or Dad. I will be at Rufus’ side when he dies. I will see how he dies. I promised him already that he won’t have to see me die. That isn’t an option. When Dad wakes up, we’ll be gone. He’ll talk to Lidia, and she’ll tell him about Rufus and me. Maybe she’ll show him Rufus’ Instagram so that he can swipe through our last days. He’ll hate himself. He’ll be so unimaginably angry. Not at me. Or anyone other than himself. He’ll take the fault of not being able to see us now. Everything that will be left of us today will be a broken burner, our imprints on my bed, the photo at his side and our heartbroken friends…
I can feel tears stinging in my eyes. It’s fine. We lived today. I’m happy. I’m not alone. Rufus lays his hand on my shoulder and squeezes it gently.
“I’m Rufus. Mateo’s last friend. I’m happy we could meet you.” He smiles at me and sits so close that our legs touch. He brings me straight back to reality. Carefully, I rest my head on his shoulder and feel him talk. He tells Dad about our day. I can’t really listen to the words he’s saying. I kinda get lost in the sound of his voice.
R U F U S
11:23 p.m.
At some point we have to leave Mateos father’s room. We can’t risk the safety of his father and the other people inside the hospital. We are ticking timebombs.
“Do you want to go home? Back to my place?”, Mateo asks. He’s looking at me with hopeful eyes.
“Of course. I won’t leave you alone now.” I reach for his hand and squeeze his fingers.
This time the way back is almost peaceful. It’s almost like we’ve already resigned. We didn’t even look at the clock. How should we die if we don’t know what time it is? It’s a childish thought, like when you played hide and seek as a kid. When we don’t see the time ticking down, it won’t see and kill us.
But we aren’t playing hide and seek One wrong step and it’s over. The time is running out. But somehow this became an afterthought.
The night air is cold and crisp on our faces. We pass Althea Park. It’s so quiet. The moon shines softly on the old asphalt of the street.
“Do you wanna go over? We can take the way through the park.” His voice is loud in the silence.
“Yes. Yes, I’d love to.” I understand where he’s coming from. Althea Park would be a beautiful place to go. I can almost in some scary way, imagine us laying under a tree, staring up at the stars and waiting to fall asleep one last time.
I take the lead to pull Mateo over the road and into the park. Then there is an arm in front of my chest. It almost became a touch I could remember in my sleep. I didn’t look left and right before crossing. Once again. Stupid me.
“What would I do without you?” I can’t stop the laughter seeping into my tone. “Come on. There isn’t anyone driving around at this time. Are you scared?”
I’m joking. I’m feeling like I’m invincible. We’ve survived this far. Some streets won’t kill us now. Again, I pull Mateo's Hand. Again, I didn’t look. He yanks me back with full force. Way too surprised to stay on my feet, we fall straight back.
A car races down the street. It couldn’t have stopped in time. It would have driven into us. I can’t breathe. I could have killed us. Mateo touches my back. I snap back into reality.
“Let’s go.”
On our way back we can hear sirens close to Althea Park. It seems to come from the direction of that small Café next to one of the entries. We walk faster than ever. Once we are back at Mateo's place we lock the doors and sink to the floor. We don’t look at the clock. We don’t want to know the time. If we don’t know we won’t die. It’s easy. Maybe. By now it’s hard to not let hysteria overtake me. Anything can happen. It’s just a matter of time. Somehow, we make it back to the bed and sink into the pillows. And somehow, we sleep. Exhausted and too scared to be awake when we finally die.