Chapter Text
There’s this moment in everybody’s life when they first lock eyes with grief; for some, it doesn’t come for years and years.
For her, it came when she was seven and watched an army of Chitauri crash into her home.
Grief sent her down the path of heroism, her eyes alight with the spark of seeing a human, a mere human, become something else.
Because Clint Barton had flown that day, if only for a second, and Kate had spent the rest of her life trying to perfect that leap.
“Kate” She looks up, her neck almost spraining with the harshness of the movement, Natasha gives her a stern look, one that says, steady .
The same one she gave when Kate went on her first mission, all of fourteen and scared out of her mind.
The one she gave when she taught her how to leap from building to building, during her fencing competitions, and every other thing since she was thirteen.
And sure enough, “You look like you’re about to shit yourself, pull it together, you’ve been training for this” This being aliens after glowing stones and too much science jargon and philosophical debates that all lead to one conclusion for Kate; they’ll fight to defend their planet.
“I haven’t been training for this” Her voice is tight with tension and Nat finally looks away from her widow bite, coming towards her.
Kate looks at the ground, her feet bouncing and she can’t help but flinch when Nat’s hand tightens the strap that ties her quiver after a messy accident.
“I trained you for everything” Her voice is like a balm over her fears, her hands calm and coordinated as she fits weapons over her body.
There are sounds of Vision and Wanda conversing, others coordinating with the Wakandians, and the adrenaline that comes with missions.
And this is the ultimate one.
Kate tries to control her breathing but it’s hard when she knows that the fucking aliens have invaded once again and this time she’s the one fighting it.
Some kid is sitting in their home right now and the only thing between them and the alien is Hawkeye.
And she’s Hawkeye now.
She needs to do this.
And her body loosens, the pit of nerves transforming into steel, she won’t can’t let him down.
“ If you’re not up to this tell me now. You can stay here with Shuri and Wanda” Steve says, his pseudo shield in his arms and the other one on his back.
It’s so easy to say yes, to just sit this one out.
“I do not want to be left with this mess”
Kate takes a moment away from her mental breakdown to be offended, raising a middle finger in the princess’s direction.
Then she focuses back on Natasha and Steve
“No, I’m… I’m ready, I swear I just got in my head for a little bit” Nat looks her up and down and finally nods, “Alright but no room for errors”
Steve clenches his jaw but doesn’t argue, clapping Bucky on the back as they exit the room together.
“No room for errors” She echoes to her mentor and allows Wanda to hug her, Shuri to whisper ‘stay safe’ and then she’s on the battlefield.
She stands shoulder to shoulder with Captain America, The Black Widow and the King of Wakanda and it’s the most nerve-wracking moment of her life.
“We gotta pull the shield down” T’challa nods and then… it’s pure chaos.
Kate lets her training take over, one after the other, she keeps shooting and covers her teammates.
For a second she almost thinks they’re going to win but then.
Snap
“What did you do?” Kate stands up still dizzy from her hits, she just has enough time to hear Thor’s shout and then Natasha’s in front of her.
Her eyes are panicked and Kate holds to her forearm because something is happening and then her arms…
“Hey, don’t…” Nat’s fading away, her face and arms and body turning to ash slowly, “Don’t blame yoursel-” and she’s gone.
How is she?
She can’t be gone…
Everyone around her is disintegrating and she clings to the nearest body.
He holds her almost instinctively, “Thor, what… what… what’s happening?” and there are tears in her eyes now and he opens his mouth then closes it, his voice is rough when he answers, “We lost”
–
Peter stands on a foreign planet with a team of weirdos, guardians he thinks, and an ache in his stomach.
And a failure that will surely haunt him his whole life.
You’re an avenger now, Mr. Stark had said.
He looks at Doctor Strange, his strange prophetic warnings, and knows, just knows that something terrible is coming.
There’s nothing outward that happens, no great sounds or change in weather.
It just happens, one minute the muscley dude with anger issues is there and the next he’s dust.
His eyes move to his mentor, and he rushes to him, his sixth sense sending low warnings rumbling through him.
A second too late - always a moment late.
Mr Stark doesn’t say anything, not to him, his last words are an accusation, “You knew” and then he’s gone and Peter’s knees crumble below him; his body realizing the loss faster than his mind.
A whole human being, the great Iron Man nothing but a pile of dust.
He’s on his knees, looking sideward at the wizard or sorcerer Peter doesn’t know or care and the man looks at him imploringly, “You have one chance, take care -” He grunts like he’s pushing against the universe to delay the inevitable, “Take care of America,” and then he’s gone.
The only one left aside from him is the dude from Missouri whose anger caused all this and the robot lady.
Peter collapses on the planet's floor, the terrain rough beneath him and the weight of the world on his shoulders.