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“Did you think I actually liked you?”
Keigo had wanted to respond, but he felt a lump form in his throat, leaving him unable to do anything beyond watching as his now-ex and his buddies laughed and jeered at him.
Earlier today, his latest breakup, was yet another hell to add to his life story.
Keigo now laid in bed, face tear-strewn and eyes puffy as he suffered an onslaught of both heartbreak and accompanying dysphoria.
Because of course that came up with the breakup ‘reasons’ again.
It was always one of their 'reasons' to break it off with him.
Sometimes, it was their only reason.
“No one will ever want a mistake like you.” His father stood beside his bed, scowling down at him. “Didn’t I tell you that already?!”
“Y-Yes," he whimpered, "but-“
Keigo flinched at the sight of his father’s raised hand. “Don’t you ‘but’ me! You are a mistake! You were born a mistake! A conceived accident! You will always be someone’s mistake or accident!”
“I, I just don’t wanna be alone-“
“Maybe if you’d just admit you’re a girl,” he spat, “and stop thinking anyone’s ever gonna care for you otherwise, you might at least stop getting your useless ass into these messes!”
There was no mistaking what Keigo hid under a binder under his shirt because of being unable to afford the surgery.
Same for that stupid belly pouch that discouraged him when he tried to work out.
He hated how masculine his heart and mind felt, how he felt, yet his body said otherwise.
But he was a him, and he knew it.
He just wished his body would reflect that, too. That he could afford to make it more so.
“You’re a disgusting mess!” His father pointed at the bathroom door. “The least you could do’s clean yourself up and quit crying over this shit!”
“Y-Yes, Father.”
When he emerged from his shower, his mind still in a daze and his heart hollow, Keigo stared blankly at where his father had stood.
‘His father’. Had it really been him, Keigo would’ve felt the sting of that supposed threatened slap, perhaps two.
Keigo had moved out for college last year, and had refused to look back.
Refused to look back at the house he had shared with his abusive father.
Yet his father still managed to somehow make himself present, haunting Keigo as he still failed to fit himself in with anyone.