Work Text:
As he took a stroll through the city, at some time around 11 PM, Eugene wandered off into an alleyway, where he seemed to notice a knocked out Manfred von
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Karma who was stuffing his mouth with pumpkin, cocaine filled pumpkin. Unsure what to do, Eugene stared in fascinated horror at t
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This sight.
'Everything all right, sir?' Eugene asked concerned.
'Does it look fine?'
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"no sir."
"fuck off"
von karma resumed to stuff his face with the pumpkin concoction. eugene feels sorry for the old geezer because why would he do that? why is he throwing his life away? so he called the local rehab center for help
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. the rehab center took manfred von karma in, and diagnosed him with stage 5 gilf disease disorder. he needed to stop his pumpkin cocaine consumption immediately or else he would die! Eugene felt pity for the old man, as he seemed mentally deranged and he didn't know what this man had gone through to make him turn out this way (it was prison).
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manfred cried and cried for hours about being forced to never snort pumpkin cocaine again.
Eugene felt bad and decided to find a way for manfred to continue consuming pumpkin cocaine without being addicted, which probably isn't possible but he would find a way.
Eugene told the narrator to stop the commentary and move on with the story.
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Eugene decided to enroll in Ivy university school of medicine in order to invent a new strain of non-addictive pumpkin cocaine. Unfortunately, some minor irrelevant stuff happened and the entire school was shut down because they had been inventing deadly posions (who knew?) Eugene did not get a refund on his tuition though.
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Tragically this left Eugene with no way of creating a new strain of non-addictive pumpkin cocaine, so he went to the only man he could think of to help: Walter White. The narrator definitely knows so much about breaking bad so if they can cook meth they can definitely also invent a new strain of cocaine. Eugene didn't really want to go to Walter White for help but he was doing this for his good friend Manfred Von Karma, so he was ready to do anything. Eugene begged Walter for help but Walter refused, said he had better things to do.
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This author also know so much about Breaking Bad, so I guess Walther White was busy cooking Meth, so Eugene went to Walthers assistant, Sebastian from Stardew Valley, who also knew a lot about drugs.
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Sebastian from Stardew Valley fortunately already made a non toxic version of cocaine filled pumpkin, and better yet, there was a way to order it as a secret drink at Apollos Hermanos. So Sebastian drove to the chicken restaurant, where he ordered the "Gilf Supreme Drink." He received the drink personally from the manager, Gant Fring, and then brought the drink to Manfred. With this non toxic version of pumpkin coke he was still an addict but not dead. The