Work Text:
It’s thin. Simple. Easily missed, and probably designed that way intentionally.
Spock himself barely notices it the first time they meet, and he doubts the Captain has seen it at all. It is only when his older self turns to leave, and adjusts his cloak, that Spock sees it. A band of gold, wrapped around a finger.
Ambassador Spock wears a wedding ring.
Vulcans value privacy, so despite the Ambassador having no doubt spent enough time around humans to be well equipped for invasive questions, Spock cannot bring himself to ask.
He finds himself unable to stop thinking about it, though. He even catches himself eyeing his own ring finger (on the bridge, in the middle of his shift, no less) and wondering what it would look like with the ring. And what it would signify.
T’Pring had perished during the destruction of Vulcan, and although he mourns for her as he mourns for the majority of his race, he cannot bring himself to think of her as a lost bondmate. Ambassador Spock’s ring is just further proof that their bond was never meant to be.
Because although Spock may be ignorant of the reasoning behind many human decisions, he is familiar with their social traditions. And he knows that if Ambassador Spock wears such a ring, it means he is married to a human.
At first, Spock merely assumes that said human is Nyota. They are romantically involved, and Spock can see a future with her.
And then Nyota informs him that she wishes to terminate their relationship, and just smiles sadly when he inquires about the reasons behind her decision.
“I think I might know you a bit better than you know yourself,” she says and squeezes his hands gently before leaving. He watches the doors close behind her, and inexplicably his thoughts return to the Ambassador’s wedding ring.
-
He does not meet with his older self often.
After helping him settle into New Vulcan and receiving many (unnecessary) assurances that the colony was in safe hands, Spock suggested that it was wise to avoid unintentionally uncovering information about his own future. The Ambassador had agreed.
They do, however, have regular chess games over comm.
The Ambassador’s playing style is significantly different from Spock’s. It’s looser, and less logical. He occasionally makes bold, erratic moves that have no apparent strategy.
It reminds Spock of the games he now plays regularly with the Captain.
He adds this to his mental list of things that confuse him regarding the Ambassador, to be deciphered at a later date. Spock does not enjoy being confused.
-
When he receives the box of the Ambassador’s possessions on Yorktown, Spock finds the slim band tucked underneath the old-fashioned printed photograph of the alternate Enterprise ’s crew.
He sets the photo aside, and picks up the ring. It’s clearly a few decades old, with some light scratches and signs of wear. It’s also clearly been meticulously taken care of, and polished regularly.
Spock slips it onto his ring finger. It is, unsurprisingly, a perfect fit. The weight is unfamiliar and odd at first, but he imagines he could become accustomed to it. And to what it symbolizes.
Although Nyota came close, he has never seriously considered spending his life with someone. He has never fit in, on Vulcan or in Starfleet, well enough to gain confidence in his abilities to fit into another’s life seamlessly.
Spock leaves the ring on his finger as he examines the rest of the contents of the box.
He studies the photograph, examining the faces of people who are so familiar yet so different from the ones waiting on his Enterprise . He’s so focused on this detail that he almost misses it.
Captain Kirk’s hands are very nearly out of frame, so the band of gold wrapped around his left ring finger is barely visible. But once Spock has seen it, it’s unmistakable. Kirk’s ring is identical to the one Spock now wears on his own finger.
Of course, there are many, many possible explanations. The simple gold band is a common symbol on Earth, so this Kirk and Spock may be married to entirely different people and just happen to have similar wedding rings. He cannot see Ambassador Spock’s hands, so he cannot determine if the Ambassador was even married at this point.
Despite this logic, Spock knows the truth.
He knows that in this universe, or any other, there is only one person that Spock would be willing to follow to the end of time, and devote his life to.
And evidently, in Ambassador Spock’s timeline, Captain Kirk had similar affections.
Vulcans do not hope.
And yet. Spock is only half-Vulcan, after all.
-
When the rebuilt Enterprise leaves drydock, Spock places the Ambassador’s possessions in his new quarters. After a moment’s deliberation, he puts the wedding ring into his uniform pocket. He is not a sentimental person, but he feels he has some duty to the Ambassador’s memory to protect this piece of metal.
He develops a very human habit of slipping his fingers into his pocket and tracing the edges of the ring when he is trying to determine what Ambassador Spock would want him to do in troubling situations. It is harmless, he tells himself.
A less harmless habit, he finds, is that he often stares at his Captain’s hands on the bridge, and tries to imagine what this Kirk ( his Kirk) would look like with a ring on. What he would look like married. To Spock.
It’s fanciful. Frivolous. Spock feels a bit like he’s living in one of the illogical holo-novels that Nyota made him watch, in an effort to introduce him to human “culture”.
He aims to stop thinking about it.
-
It works, for a while.
Starfleet sends them on more missions, and Spock is too preoccupied with trying to do his job (and keep his Captain from doing something illogical and stupid) than thinking about a marriage from another universe.
The mission where it goes wrong, and stops working, seems mundane at first.
It is a first contact trip, which the Captain promises will be “a breeze, Spock, don’t even worry about it”.
It is not, as the Captain said, “a breeze”.
The landing party is ambushed as soon as they beam down, and Spock feels something hard and blunt sink into his chest, before an explosion of pain ripples across his torso.
He cannot reach his phaser, and stars explode across his vision as he sinks to the ground. Then, all he sees is black.
When he wakes, he’s on the Enterprise , and Doctor McCoy is leaning over him, frowning. He only appears slightly happier when he realizes his patient is conscious.
“Mr. Spock, you’re one lucky man. This is the second time something’s missed your heart by a few inches. Try to avoid getting stabbed again, though.”
He leans back, out of Spock’s field of vision.
“Noted, Doctor.” Spock manages. His voice sounds parched. He does not know how long he was unconscious.
Spock reaches toward his wound, which he can tell has been mostly healed, but still aches faintly. It’s only then that he notices he is no longer wearing his uniform, and has been changed into a hospital gown.
He considers asking McCoy about the location of his belongings, but by the time he manages to sit up, the Doctor is already leaving the room, shouting an order to stay in bed over his shoulder.
A few minutes later, Captain Kirk enters.
He’s holding something. From this angle, Spock cannot see what it is.
Jim clears his throat. “Are you married, Spock?”
Spock hesitates. This is not a question he was expecting. Kirk’s face is unreadable, and he is avoiding Spock’s gaze.
“Negative, Captain.”
Kirk lifts his hand, and Spock sees what he’s holding, pinched between his thumb and index finger.
“Whose ring is this?” Jim asks.
Spock stares at him. Despite the Captain’s obvious confusion, the image of him holding the ring looks so right .
“It belonged to Ambassador Spock.” He explains simply, and he watches Jim’s eyebrows raise in surprise. He crosses the room swiftly, and sits in the chair at Spock’s bedside.
“ He was married?”
Spock nods.
“To who? Uhura?” Jim presses, and Spock shakes his head.
“No. Although Nyota is a dear friend, neither Ambassador Spock nor I had a relationship with her that would culminate in matrimony.”
The Captain is still holding the ring, playing with it almost unconsciously.
“So…” He begins, but trails off.
Then he just stares at Spock.
“When I met him – the old you – for the first time, he looked at me in a weird way. I couldn’t figure it out then. But now…now it reminds me of the way my mother looked at photos of my father.”
Spock does not speak.
“Tell me if I’m wrong,” Jim says, searching Spock’s eyes.
“You are not wrong.”
The corner of the Captain’s mouth quirks up in the beginning of a smile. “You kept the ring. You kept it with you .” He points out.
Spock nods. “Affirmative. It was important to the Ambassador. And…” He pauses, and gazes at Jim. “And it is a reminder of what is important to me.”
The Captain does grin, then, and his smile erases all pain that Spock’s injury has caused. He reaches out, and hands the ring back to Spock. He brushes his fingers against Spock’s as he pulls his hand away.
-
Much, much later, Spock shows Jim the picture of Ambassador Spock’s Captain, with his matching wedding ring.
Jim suggests they go buy themselves their own pair.