Work Text:
JayJay: hey!!
JayJay: HEY!!
JayJay: HEY!!!!
JayJay: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS?
JayJay: [YouTube link]
JayJay: IT’S YOU
JayJay: ISN'T IT??
JayJay: I’M SURE IT IS YOU LOOK AT THE PHOTO
JayJay: WHO IS SHE?
JayJay: DO YOU KNOW HER???
JayJay: YOU NEED TO MESSAGE HER
Clicking the link, a girl comes into the screen. The video is unedited, so she works the focus of the camera for a bit before looking directly into the lenses and then backing away to sit on her chair.
She looks uneasy, biting the lower lip for a bit before starting talking. Her hair is a short pink mess, and her face has piercings, a tattoo and a little scar that she pokes with her teeth. There’s a guitar laying on her lap, where the girl rests a right arm full of tattoos.
She looks extremely familiar, like a fading photograph in an old album. These tattoos, these scars, these markers of how much time has passed are new, but those eyes are the same, that smile is the same, even the pink dye is the same. Even though it can’t be…
“Uh… hi there” the girl on camera says after clearing her throat. “My name is Vi, and if you’re seeing this, I need your help finding someone. Someone I lost seven years ago.” Vi pulls a photograph that was stuck between the chords in the guitar and shows it to the camera, and the viewers can see a younger version of herself, with an arm around another girl. The image is wrinkled and a bit damaged by light, but visible.
“This right here is Caitlyn. This is what she looks like, or at least how she looked when we were thirteen.” The photo is lowered and Vi comes into focus again. “I can’t tell you her last name or the color of her eyes, but I would recognize her laughter or the sound of her singing anywhere. She’s half my soul, as the poets say. I know this does not help [she laughs, nervously] but I want Caitlyn to know this. That I still remember her, that I’m so, so sorry for simply vanishing, but I have a great explanation.
“We didn’t have social media back then, and even if we did, I wouldn't have been able to keep in touch, for reasons I will not disclose in video, but I’d be happy to tell her. She lived in New York city, in this really big house on the Upper East Side, went to George Washington Middle School… and she was my first love. My first “girlfriend”, and I know we were kids, but we took it very seriously! Actually, we never really broke up, so happy seventh anniversary babe! [Vi laughs again, looking down for a bit before turning back and staring beyond the camera, into the eyes of the viewers, looking to find a specific set of eyes]. We were always together, we walked around school holding hands, I even went traveling with her family. Twice. She was my first kiss, and it was so awkward we swore to never talk about it. Until we kissed again. And again. It was so innocent, so beautiful. And I really wanna see this girl again. I need to know how she’s doing, if she’s okay, because my mind never really shut up about her.
“Caitlyn, if this finds you, please let me know. You’ll find my email in the description of the video, and I would really like to hear from you. I’m sure you were hurt, and you had the absolute right to be, but i can explain, and it’s a really good story actually. If you’re not Caitlyn, please share this video so it can reach her.
“Anyway, Caitlyn used to love Taylor Swift, and I really believe she’s still a fan. Folklore sounds like something she'd crazy about. She also loved to hear me play. So here’s a song that reminds me of her. Because even though I can’t really recall her face, I still got love for her”
With a stroke of the guitar, Vi begins to play and sing.
Sweet tea in the summer
Cross your heart, won't tell no other
And though I can't recall your face I still got love for you
Your braids like a pattern
Love you to the moon and to Saturn
Passed down like folk songs
The love lasts so long
And I've been meaning to tell you
I think your house is haunted
Your mom is always mad and that must be why
And I think you should come live with
Me and we can be pirates
Then you won't have to cry
Or hide in the closet
And just like a folk song
Our love will be passed on
Caitlyn is completely obsessed with Vi’s version of “Seven”, and the woman knows the change from “dad” to “mom” on the “Your dad is always mad” verse was on purpose. She listens to the cover on her earbuds while sitting in the outside part of a cafe, sipping on a latte and waiting. Heart pounding, hands sweating.
Because she never forgot Violet either. Because she picked up on the little reference from The Song of Achilles on Vi’s video, and knew right away that they would have so much to talk about. Because she was so hesitant to send that email, but that photo brought back so many memories. Cait went over to her parents house and unraveled the shelves in search of photo albums.
In the 2010 book, up until 2015, there they were. Vi was in so many pictures, and they were always close, touching each other somehow; holding hands, hugging, head resting on a shoulder, pinkies twisted. Caitlyn didn’t really know what love was at that time, let alone romantic love, but she knew Vi was special. They had a pact, they would live together, have all the dogs they could possibly want in a big house by the lake (which lake? Don’t ask).
So she scanned some of those photos and attached them to the email. And her heart almost stopped when the answer came. She felt like a kid again, head laying on the window, wondering how does a person just vanishes. How could Vi do this to her? You never really forget your first heartbreak, and that was a big one.
Caitlyn lifted her head from her phone, looking around to kill time, when a smile caught her attention. The fact that it was a smile, not the neon pink hair, that was seen first, seemed funny, but her laugh got caught in her throat. Everything she ever planned on saying or doing, for all those years, vanished from her mind. All Cait could do was smile back.
“Hi”